MICHAEL KENNEDY

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1. Who has the right of way when four cars approach Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time? A: The pickup truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, “Guns don’t kill people. I do.”...
2. JOHN F. KENNEDY: The Swingingest President Ever J. F. K., a gifted golfer, didn’t want to be photographed on the links. He was afraid of inheriting Eisenhower’s image, as a man putting his way through is presidency. An aficionado of Ian Fleming’s spy novels, John F. Kennedy relished keeping secrets almost as much as he enjoyed hearing them. One of Kennedy’s most […]...
3. Michael Jackson and the doctor Michael Jackson and the doctor are walking out of the delivery room after his wife gives birth to their son. Michael says, “How long before we can have sex?” The doctor says, “At least wait until he’s walking.”...
4. My Favourite Singer (Michael Jackson) My favourite singer is Michael Jackson. I like his songs very much because they are full of energy and very melodic. I also like the way he dances. There were nine children in Michael’s family. They lived in a small fourroom house. Later he lived in a house which has seventeen rooms downstairs and sixteen […]...
5. Биография Джона Кеннеди на английском языке. Biography of John Kennedy On November 22, 1963, when he was hardly past his first thousand days in office, John Fitzgerald Kennedy was killed by an assassin’s bullets as his motorcade wound through Dallas, Texas. Kennedy was the youngest man elected President; he was the youngest to die. Of Irish descent, he was born in Brookline, Massachusetts, on May […]...
6. Michael Faraday Michael Faraday is one of the great scientists in the history of man’s work in electricity. He was born in a small village near London on September 11, 1791, in a poor family. His family lived from hand to mouth. At the age of thirteen Michael went to work in a bookbinder’s shop, because he […]...
7. A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth […]...
8. George Orwell Got a B – at Harvard, When Michael Crichton Submitted an Orwell Essay as His Own In his 2002 memoir, Travels, Michael Crichton took his readers back several decades, to the early 1960s when, as a Harvard student, he tried an interesting little experiment in his English class. He recalled: I had gone to college planning to become a writer, but early on a scientific tendency appeared. In the English department […]...
9. John F. Kennedy – Джон Ф. Кеннеди John F. Kennedy John Fitzgerald Kennedy became the 35th President of the United States. The youngest ever elected to the presidency and the first of the Roman Catholic faith, John F. Kennedy won the election of November 1960, but later, he received the support of most Americans. They admired his personality, his lively family, his […]...
10. Love Jesus By Dennis DiPasquale The other day I went to the local religious book store, where I saw a HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my car, and I’m really glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed. I was stopped at the light […]...
11. Перевод слова plant Plant – растение; сажать, сеять Перевод слова Garden plants – садовые растения wild plant – дикорастущее растение to plant a tree – посадить дерево to plant a garden – разбивать сад A field is Planted with corn. Поле засеянно кукурузой. The Plant has furry leaves. У этого растения пушистые листья. The Plant needs a firm […]...
12. Punishment in hell A man dies, and he’s looking in the gates of hell. There he sees John Kennedy with an incredibly ugly girl. The man turns to the Devil and asks why John Kennedy is with this hideous looking person. The Devil replies, “Well, John has done some bad things in his life and that’s his punishment.” […]...
13. What Michael Jackson Would Have Felt About Xscape Michael Jackson’s bodyguards Bill Whitfield and Javon Beard imagine how the King of Pop would have reacted to a remixed album of unreleased tracks. Ever since Michael Jackson died, there have been many arguments over how his estate has handled his musical legacy. The latest one erupted last month with the release of Xscape, the […]...
14. Soldier stands guard A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear. No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, “Halt, who goes there?” The chauffeur, a corporal, says, “General […]...
15. Getting Through on the Phone I have been trying to get a meeting with the CEO of Medofact to talk about a Partnership between our company and theirs. But I’ve had a hard time trying to Get through on the phone. First, there was the phone tree. I had to go through three Menus before I got the Option to […]...
16. Driving school test The following are a sampling of real answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation’s driving school. Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road? A: What for? He can’t see my license plate. Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop […]...
17. These two country boys, brothers, were knocking around These two country boys, brothers, were knocking around one lazy summer day and thought it would be a good prank to push over the outhouse. They crept up from an advantageous direction like a couple of commandos, pushed the outhouse over on one side and headed for the woods. They circled round and returned home […]...
18. The definition of a phallic symbol This girl walks in to a doctors office and she asks “Whats a failic symbol? Doctor says “you’re kidding..” Girl says “no! I don’t know! Whats a failic symbol???” Doctor pulls his pants and underwear down and says “You see? This is a failic symbol!” Girl says “Oh! Its just like a penis, only smaller”...
19. Перевод слова magazine Magazine – журнал; погреб боеприпасов Перевод слова Magazine advertisement – рекламное объявление в журнале fashion magazine – журнал мод popular magazine – массовый, популярный журнал powder magazine – пороховой погреб She subscribes to several gardening Magazines. Она выписывает несколько журналов по садоводству. The Magazine is a cook’s delight. Этот погреб является мечтой повара. When will […]...
20. Hick computer terms Redneck computer terms Log On: Makin’ the wood stove hotter. Log Off: Don’t add no wood. Monitor: Keepin’ an eye on the wood stove. Download: Gettin’ the firewood off the pickup. Mega Hertz: When yer not careful down loadin’. Floppy Disk: Whatcha git from pilin’ too much firewood. Ram: The hydrolic thingy that splits the […]...
21. Перевод слова wood Wood – лес, древесина Перевод слова To carve a statue out of wood – вырезать статую из дерева chip of wood – щепка wood chips – опилки Her house was made of Wood. Ее дом был деревянным. Pine is a soft Wood. У сосны мягкая древесина. Some baseball bats are made out of Wood. Некоторые […]...
22. California Driving Test Answers The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation’s driving school (read at Saturday Traffic School for moving violation offenders.) Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road? A: What for? He can’t see my license plate. Q: Who has the right […]...
23. Значение идиомы up a tree [up a tree] {adv.} or {adj. phr.} 1. Hunted or chased into a tree;treed. The dog drove the coon up a tree so the hunter could shoothim. 2. {informal} in trouble; having problems; in a difficulty thatit is hard to escape or think of a way out of. John’s father hashim up a tree in […]...
24. There were two bulls, a young one named George and an old one named Sam There were two bulls, a young one named George and an old one named Sam. It was that time of year to satisfy the local female population, and young George was pretty excited. “Sam, Sam, can I go down to those heifers over there?” asked George. “George, relax. Here is how it works. We’ll wait […]...
25. Recruiting any and all pilots The chief of staff of the US Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting crisis affecting all of our armed services. He directed a nearby Air Force base that will be opened and that all eligible young men and women be invited. As he and his staff were standing near a […]...
26. Значение идиомы saw wood [saw wood] also {Southern} [saw gourds] {v. phr.}, {slang} Tobreathe loudly through the nose while sleeping; snore. John wassawing wood. In Alabama a boy who snores saws gourds....
27. Driving a Company Car Michael: Shall we? Robin: Oh, this is nice. Did you get a new car? Michael: No, this is a Company car. Getting to drive one is one of the Perks of my new job. Robin: Does your new position Call for a lot of driving? Michael: It does. As the Regional supervisor, I have To […]...
28. Waiting for a Man or Woman to Call Lyla: Okay, here’s a Hypothetical. You ask a girl for her Number, but wait two weeks to call her. What gives? George: Well, that Depends. Why? Lyla: Well, I met this guy two weeks ago at a party. We spent the entire evening talking and I thought we really Hit it off. We had a […]...
29. Having a Barbecue George: Step aside! The king of the Cookout is here. I’m ready To work my magic on this Barbecue. Sophia: Here are the burgers and hot dogs. The kids are pretty hungry. George: Hold on. I need to put on the Charcoal. Now I’m ready To fire up this barbecue. Where’s the Lighter fluid? Sophia: […]...
30. John receives a phone call John receives a phone call. “Hello,” he answers. The voice on the ot other end says, “This is Susan. We met a party about 3 months ago.” John: “Hmm… Susan? about 3 months ago?” Susan: “Yes, it was at Bill’s house. After the party you took me home. On the way we parked and got […]...
31. Значение идиомы kill the goose that laid the golden egg [kill the goose that laid the golden egg] To spoil something thatis good or something that you have, by being greedy. – A proverb. Mrs. Jones gives you an apple from her tree whenever you go by herhouse, but don’t kill the goose that laid the golden egg by botheringher too much....
32. Methods for Quitting Smoking Lisa: This is it. I’m Quitting smoking for good. Michael: Good for you. Are you going Cold turkey? Lisa: No, I tried that, but it didn’t work. I Craved cigarettes too much. Michael: How about Nicotine gum? Have you tried that? Lisa: Yes, but I didn’t like the Side effects. It Irritated my Throat. Michael: […]...
33. Значение идиомы have it in for [have it in for] {v. phr.}, {informal} To wish or mean to harm;have a bitter feeling against. George has it in for Bob because Bobtold the teacher that George cheated in the examination. AfterJohn beat Ted in a fight, Ted always had it in for John....
34. Solve the riddle Schwarzenegger has a big one, Michael J. Fox has a small one, Madonna doesn’t have one, The POPE has one but doesn’t use it, Clinton uses his all the time, Mickey Mouse has an unusual one, George Burns’ was hot, Liberace NEVER used his on women, Jerry Seinfeld is very very proud of his, We […]...
35. Значение идиомы in common [in common] {adv. phr.} Shared together or equally; in use orownership by all. Mr. and Mrs. Smith own the store in common. The four boys grew up together and have a lot in common. Theswimming pool is used in common by all the children in theneighborhood. Compare: COMMON GROUND....
36. Перевод слова common Common – общий, общественный, обыкновенный, простой Перевод слова Common boundary – общая граница common land – общинный выгон common error – распространенная ошибка This word is not Common among us. Мы редко употребляем это слово. The two countries have a lot in Common. У этих двух стран много общего. Common in times of famine. Обычное […]...
37. Значение идиомы knock on wood [knock on wood] {v. phr.} To knock on something made of wood tokeep from having bad luck. – Many people believe that you will havebad luck if you talk about good luck or brag about something, unlessyou knock on wood; often used in a joking way. Charles said, “Ihaven’t been sick all winter.” Grandfather said, […]...
38. The Missionary and the Chief A missionary who had spent years showing a tribe of natives how to farm and build things to be self-sufficient gets word that he is to return home. He realizes that the one thing he never taught the natives was how to speak English, so he takes the chief and starts walking in the forest. […]...
39. Christmas tree better Reasons Why a Christmas Tree Is Better Than a Woman” A Christmas tree doesn’t care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past. A Christmas tree doesn’t care if you have an artificial one in the closet. When you are done with a Christmas tree you can throw it on the curb […]...
40. Перевод слова tree Tree – дерево Перевод слова To decorate a Christmas tree – наряжать елку to dig up a tree – выкопать дерево to fit a tree – подрубать дерево The car struck the Tree. Автомобиль врезался в дерево. Monkeys live in Trees. Обезьяны живут на деревьях. The Tree was about to fall. Дерево чуть не упало....