Who’s got my pen?

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1. Перевод слова thermometer Thermometer – термометр, градусник Перевод слова Clinical thermometer – медицинский термометр thermometer reading – показания термометра thermometer pocket – гильза для термометра The Thermometer is low. Ртутный столбик в термометре упал. The Thermometer recorded 90 degrees. Термометр показал 90 градусов. The Thermometer has risen to above 32. Температура перевалила за плюс 32. rel=”nofollow”>...
2. A man is in a hospital bed completly wrapped up A man is in a hospital bed completly wrapped up in a body cast. One of the nurses gave him a rectal thermometer and said, “Don’t move – I’ll be right back.” When she returned the thermometer was in his mouth. She asked in amazement, “How did you get that in your mouth, you can’t […]...
3. Drinking too much A man sat down at a bar, looked into his shirt pocket, and ordered a double scotch. A few minutes later, the man again peeked into his pocket and ordered another double. This routine was followed for some time, until after looking into his pocket, he told the bartender that he’s had enough. The bartender […]...
4. Cashing a Check The local Branch of my bank is located just a few Blocks from where I live. It’s very convenient, since it has four ATMs open 24/7. Today I had to go in to make a Deposit, but since I wanted to Cash a check as well, I needed to go inside to talk to a […]...
5. Перевод слова endorse Endorse – подтверждать, одобрять, расписываться на документе Перевод слова To endorse a candidate – поддерживать кандидатуру to endorse a conclusion – подписаться под каким-л. выводом to endorse everything that the last speaker has said – присоединиться к предыдущему оратору The report was Endorsed. Отчет был одобрен. It is Endorsed by public opinion. Это пользуется поддержкой […]...
6. Indicator A businessman entered a tavern, sat down at the bar, and ordered a double scotch on the rocks. After he finished the drink, he peeked inside his shirt pocket, then he ordered another double scotch. After he finished that one, he again peeked inside his shirt pocket and ordered another double scotch. Finally, the bartender […]...
7. Перевод слова shirt Shirt – рубашка, сорочка Перевод слова Check shirt – клетчатая рубашка flaxen shirt – льняная рубаха sports shirt – рубашка-поло Have you ironed my Shirt? Вы погладили мою рубашку? Tuck in your Shirt. Заправь рубаху. This Shirt is all worn out. Рубашка совсем износилась....
8. My girlfriend is out in the car A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car. The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her. When he looked inside the car, he saw the man’s friend, Dave, and his girlfriend kissing one another. The bartender […]...
9. College bar joke When I was in college our RA told us of a good one that (supposedly) some friends had pulled a couple of years earlier. These two guys made up a concoction of all kinds of left overs, semi-pureed it in a blender, and filled a hot water bottle with it. One of them took the […]...
10. A man had been drinking at the bar for hours A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car. The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her. When he looked inside the car, he saw the drunk’s buddy, Pete, and his girlfriend going at it in the […]...
11. Appearance: Legs and Feet – Внешность: ноги и ступни At the hospital, Bill took off his sock and pulled his trouser leg up over his knee onto his thigh. The doctor looked down at the injured foot, which was already getting bigger and changing colour. “Hm. Nasty accident,” he said. “What happened?” “A skier smashed into my foot,” explained Bill. “Oh, dear. Very nasty. […]...
12. Very fair payment An elderly and somewhat hard-of-hearing man was sitting in a stylish downtown attorney’s office as his lawyer handed him his will. “Your estate is very complex,” said the lawyer, “but I’ve made sure that all of your wishes will be executed. Due to the complexity, my fee is $4500.” Just then, the phone rang and […]...
13. An old man and his wife went to the doctor for a check-up An old man and his wife went to the doctor for a check-up. While the man is with the doctor, the doctor askes him, “So how has life been treating you?” The old man replies,”The Lord’s been good to me. Every night when I go to the bathroom, He turns the light on and when […]...
14. A Trip to the Library I read in the Local paper that a new public library had just opened two weeks ago in my neighborhood. I wanted to Check it out. But first, I called the library to check the Hours of operation. The Librarian told me that they were open Monday through Saturday from 10 to 6 so I […]...
15. Don’t Forget! An 80-year-old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctor’s, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor […]...
16. An accountant is having a hard time sleeping An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. “Doctor, I just can’t get to sleep at night.” “Have you tried counting sheep?” “That’s the problem – I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it.”...
17. A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and she answered, “I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang – but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear.” “Oh Dear!” the […]...
18. Deaf lady in trouble One day a lady was driving on the Highway. She frequently checked her speed gauge to make sure she stayed within the speed limit. However, when she looked into her rear mirror, much to her dismay, she saw a police car not far behind! And, to make matters worse, the police car turned on his […]...
19. My heart set A certain old gentleman thought his eyesight was going bad, and he was advised to go to see an eye doctor. He goes in to see the doctor, and the doctor said, “All right, let’s check you out. You sit down here on this stool. You put your right hand over your right eye and […]...
20. A stuttering problem A man visits the doctor’s because he has a severe stuttering problem. After a thorough examination, the doctor consults with the patient. Doctor: ‘It appears that the reason for your stuttering is that your penis is about six inches too long and it is thus pulling on your vocal cords, and thereby causing you this […]...
21. An Other one Three old guys are out walking. First one says, ‘Windy, isn’t it?’ Second one says, ‘No, it’s Thursday!’ Third one says, ‘So am I. Let’s go get a beer.’ A man was telling his neighbor, ‘I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s […]...
22. Фразовые глаголы с “PULL” Pull round – поправляться He was just beginning to pull round after his operation. Pull away – выделяться, отрываться от лидера Sullivan pulled away in the final lap. Pull back – отступать Our tank forces pulled back to regroup. Pull off – отходить, отъезжать If you’re feeling sleepy, pull off the road immediately and have […]...
23. Значение идиомы off one’s back [off one’s back] {adj. phr.} 1. {informal} Stopped from botheringone; removed as an annoyance or pest. “Having a kid brother alwaysfollowing me is a nuisance,” Mary told her mother. “Can’t you get himoff my back?” The singer was so popular with teenagers that hetook a secret vacation, to keep them off his back. Contrast: ON […]...
24. Red shirt Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, “Bring me my red shirt!” The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain’s red shirt, which the captain put on and […]...
25. A man went to the doctor for a check up A man went to the doctor for a check up. “How do you feel?” asked the doctor. “Fine.” he replied. After a few more general health questions the doctor asked, “How many times do you have sex per month?” “About two or three.” the man replied. “You should be doing better than that.” the doctor […]...
26. Перевод слова mistake Mistake – ошибка, ошибаться, заблуждаться Перевод слова Costly mistake – ошибка, которая дорого обошлась ghastly mistake – грубая ошибка to mistake the time – спутать время Anyone can make a Mistake. Кто угодно может совершить ошибку. You are Mistaken. Вы ошибаетесь. Never mind your Mistake. Не беспокойтесь о своей ошибке....
27. Take in a boarder An elderly man tells the Doctor he is planning on marrying a women of 30, and would he have any suggestions. “Yes,” says the Doctor, “I would advise you to take in a boarder.” A year later at his 80th year check-up, the Doctor asks how everything is going. He says fine his wife is […]...
28. A couple, age 67, went to the doctors office A couple, age 67, went to the doctor’s office. The doctor asked, “What can I do for you?” The man said, “Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?” The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said, “There is nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse.” And he then charged […]...
29. Перевод слова pocket Pocket – карман; карманный, портативный Перевод слова His money burns a hole in his pocket – деньги жгут ему карман pocket calculator – карманный калькулятор pocket dictionary – карманный словарь I have a hole in my Pocket. У меня дыра в кармане. She put the key in her Pocket. Она положила ключи в карман. He […]...
30. Значение идиомы blank check [blank check] {n.} 1. A bank check written to a person who can then write in how much money he wants. John’s father sent him a blank check to pay his school bills. 2. {informal} Permission to another person to do anything he decides to do. The teacher gave the pupils a blank check to […]...
31. Значение идиомы check on someone thing [check on someone thing] or [check up on someone thing] {v}. To try to find out the truth or rightness of; make sure of; examine; inspect; investigate. We checked on Dan’s age by getting his birth record. Mrs. Brown said she heard someone downstairs and Mr. Brown went down to check up on it. You […]...
32. Late one night, little Johnny woke up to the some loud noises Late one night, little Johnny woke up to the some loud noises coming from his parents’ bedroom. He got out of bed and walked down the hall towards his parents room. Before he made it to the end of the hall, the noises had ceased and the bathroom light had gone on. Little Johnny walked […]...
33. Three guys were sitting in a bar talking Three guys were sitting in a bar talking. One was a Doctor, one was a Lawyer, and one was a Biker. After a sip of his martini, the doctor said; “You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I got my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedez. I figure that if she doesn’t like the […]...
34. Talking to a Bank Teller Bank Teller: Can I help you? Antonio: Yes, I’d like To deposit this Check. Bank Teller: Please fill out a Deposit slip and be sure To endorse the check on the back. Antonio: Here you are. I’ve already filled out a slip and signed the check. I’d also like To cash this other check. Bank […]...
35. Oscar was an unlucky sap. Having just spent megabucks on a skydiving Oscar was an unlucky sap. Having just spent megabucks on a skydiving class, he dove out of the airplane and pulled the ripcord. The chute emerged, tangled, and he cut it free. He then pulled the cord on the reserve chute, and it also was tangled. He prayed to his God and looked down to […]...
36. A man was walking down the street when he noticed A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. “Grandpa, what are you doing?” he exclaimed. The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him. “Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here […]...
37. His And Hers ATMs HIS: 1. Pull up to ATM 2. Insert card 3. Enter PIN number and account 4. Take cash, card and receipt HER: 1. Pull up to ATM 2. Check makeup in rearview mirror 3. Shut off engine 4. Put keys in purse 5. Get out of car because you’re too far from machine 6. Hunt […]...
38. Значение идиомы pull up [pull up] {v.} 1. To check the forward motion of; halt; stop. Hepulled up his horse at the gate. 2. To tell to stop doingsomething; say is doing wrong and must stop; scold. Jimtalked rudely to Mother, and Father pulled him up. Ann said in herreport that America was discovered in 1634, and the teacher […]...
39. Who keeps saying those things A man walked in to a bar after a long day at work. As he began to drink his beer, he heard a voice say seductively “You’ve got great hair!” The man looked around but couldn’t see where the voice was coming from, so he went back to his beer. A minute later, he heard […]...
40. The Drop of Water Of course you know what is meant by a magnifying glass-one of those round spectacle-glasses that make everything look a hundred times bigger than it is? When any one takes one of these and holds it to his eye, and looks at a drop of water from the pond yonder, he sees above a thousand […]...