Understanding Drug Labels

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1. At the Pharmacy I went to the Drugstore down the street To fill a prescription at the Pharmacy. I have had some problems with my arm and the doctor prescribed for me a... ...
2. A stupid dog While leading the Friday evening services, the Rabbi noticed a member of the congregation, Bernie, walk in with a St. Bernard dog. The Rabbi, horrified, asked the Cantor to continue... ...
3. Waiting for Drug Approval Florence: A package came for you. I think it’s from overseas. Alexander: Oh, those are my Drugs. Florence: You’re buying your Medication from overseas? Alexander: I have no choice. This... ...
4. Listening to the Radio Kurt: Turn that radio down! Gloria: No way! I’m listening to a Simulcast of a performance and it’s Live. Kurt: Is it on Campus radio? Gloria: No, it’s on the... ...
5. For his wife’s birthday party, a doctor ordered a cake For his wife’s birthday party, a doctor ordered a cake with this inscription: “You are not getting older, You are just getting better.” When asked how he wanted it arranged,... ...
6. Completing a Drug/Alcohol Rehabilitation Program John: I’m glad to see you’re back and looking so healthy. Lindsay: Thanks. Rehab wasn’t easy, but getting Treatment for my Addiction saved my life. I’d hit Rock bottom. John:... ...
7. Limits to Advancement at Work Gloria: Did you hear that Manuel is quitting? He took a job with another company. Sam: I’m not surprised. He came up against the Glass ceiling and he decided To... ...
8. People of Different Ages Gloria: I’m surprised at the variety of people on this tour. Andy: Oh, yeah? I hadn’t noticed. Gloria: Well, we’ll be spending the next two weeks with these people so... ...
9. Understanding Interest Rates Kerry: I need to take out a small business loan and I’m trying to figure out what the Interest rate would be. Do you understand this stuff? Oscar: If it’s... ...
10. Bad Bernie was in prison for seven years Bad Bernie was in prison for seven years. The day he got out, his wife and son were there to pick him up. He came through the gates and got... ...
11. Consulting a Pharmacist Pharmacist: Can I help you? Sanaz: Yes, I had some questions for the Pharmacist. Pharmacist: I’m the pharmacist. How can I help you? Sanaz: Can I fill these Prescriptions here?... ...
12. Taking Chances in Business I’ve always been a pretty Cautious investor. I like my investments to be Conservative and I usually invest only in Sure things. Recently, though, I’ve been Tempted to take more... ...
13. A dyslexic nurse Two doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about Nurse Jenny. “She’s incredibly dumb. She does everything absolutely backwards.” said one doctor. “Just last week, I told her... ...
14. Reading Food Labels Amy: Put a big bag of those potato chips in the basket. Giorgio: Have you read the Nutritional label on these chips? Amy: No, but look. This doesn’t have very... ...
15. Making a Move on Someone A. J.: What was going on with you and Tiago in his office earlier today? You two were pretty Cozy in there. Gloria: What? Oh, I was a little Upset... ...
16. Alternative Medicine I have been suffering from back pain for years. I’ve tried several treatments Prescribed by my doctor, but nothing has had a Lasting effect. I finally decided to try Alternative... ...
17. My heart set A certain old gentleman thought his eyesight was going bad, and he was advised to go to see an eye doctor. He goes in to see the doctor, and the... ...
18. Understanding Modern Art Stephan: What’s that? Livia: It’s my latest Artwork. It’s Experimental. Stephan: It’s, um… Livia: Abstract. It’s part of a Performance art piece I’m putting together. It’ll really challenge people’s Perceptions... ...
19. Serious desease A distraught patient phoned her doctor’s office. Was it true, the woman wanted to know, that the medication the doctor had prescribed was for the rest of her life? She... ...
20. Talking About Sight Sue: This medication I’m taking is Messing with my Vision. Everything is Blurry. Hamed: That’s a good reason for you to stay home from work today. Sue: I can’t. I... ...
21. Understanding Addresses I was away from my office and needed to send some letters to clients. Unfortunately, I didn’t have their addresses, so I called the office secretary. Christina: Hi, Jacob. I... ...
22. How to Keep an Idiot Entertained for Hours I once wrote a book called How to Keep an Idiot Entertained for Hours. It went like this: To keep an idiot entertained for hours, read the next sentence. To... ...
23. One day there was an indian chief who was constipated One day there was an indian chief who was constipated. he sent one of his warriors to the witch doctor to get some medicine. The warrior says “Big Chief, no... ...
24. A young priest, who is still unsure of the penance to dole out A young priest, who is still unsure of the penance to dole out during confession, asks an older priest what he should give a cocksucker. “Oh,” says the older priest,... ...
25. A doctor, an engineer, and a politician A doctor, an engineer, and a politician were arguing as to which profession was older. “Well,” argued the doctor, “without a physician mankind could not have survived, so I am... ...
26. Understanding Men and Women Lucy: Jeff, Here’s a question. I was Just talking to Dawn. You know, they had their first Wedding anniversary last week. Guess what her husband gave her as a present.... ...
27. A man calls his family doctor A man calls his family doctor: Man: Doctor, for the last week my wife has thought that she was a rabbit. Doctor: Ok, bring her in and I’ll try to... ...
28. Warning labels If government is going to put health warning labels on beer, wine and liquor, let’s at least have a little truthfulness about the matter! WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause... ...
29. Understanding Corporate Structure Andrea: This Organizational chart is really confusing. Raffael: Why are you looking at that? Andrea: I have an interview next week and I’m trying To bone up on the company... ...
30. It finally dawned “How did it happen?” the doctor asked the middle-aged farmhand as he set the man’s broken leg. “Well, doc, 25 years ago…” “Never mind the past. Tell me how you... ...
31. Broken leg “How did it happen?” the doctor asked the middle-aged farmhand as he set the man’s broken leg. “Well, doc, 25 years ago…” “Never mind the past! Tell me how you... ...
32. An elderly couple walk into a doctor office An elderly couple walk into a doctor’s office. The man tells the doctor, “Doctor, we want to have a baby.” The doctor replies,”At your age I don’t think it’s possible,... ...
33. Types of Allergies Bert: Doctor, Give it to me straight. Is my Medical condition serious? Doctor: I suspect that your Rashes and other symptoms are the result of Allergies. Bert: Allergies?! I thought... ...
34. Course of action One Friday afternoon, two secretaries were hanging around the water cooler at the office. “Veronica, I just don’t know what to do,” Gloria said to her friend at work. “That... ...
35. A man went to the doctor for a check up A man went to the doctor for a check up. “How do you feel?” asked the doctor. “Fine.” he replied. After a few more general health questions the doctor asked,... ...
36. Love to Death A man goes to his doctor for his annual physical complaining of all kinds of mysterious ailments – lack of sleep, no drive, very little appetite, nervous, etc. After a... ...
37. Take in a boarder An elderly man tells the Doctor he is planning on marrying a women of 30, and would he have any suggestions. “Yes,” says the Doctor, “I would advise you to... ...
38. Visiting a Patient in the Hospital George: You’re just In time. There’s only another 20 minutes until the end of Visiting hours. Inez: I got here as soon as I could. How is Uncle Peter? George:... ...
39. Перевод слова drug Drug – медикамент, лекарство, наркотик Перевод слова Drug administration – применение лекарств drug plant – лекарственное растение to take drugs – принимать наркотики He has a Drug addiction. У него... ...
40. A blind man walks into a drug store with his seeing eye dog A blind man walks into a drug store with his seeing eye dog. He takes the dogs leash & starts swinging it around & around his head. The druggist says... ...