The Pope calls a meeting of all the cardinals

Related topics:

1. The only true religion One day God called the Pope, and he said “John Paul I have good news and bad news. First the good news. I am tired of all the squabbling between the religions. I have decided there will be only the one true religion”. The Pope was overjoyed and told God how wise his decision was, […]...
2. Pope Dies Pope Dies The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He’s met by the reception committee, and after a whirlwind tour is told that he can enjoy any of the myriad recreations available. He decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original text of the Holy Scriptures, and spends the next eon […]...
3. The Pope vs. the Queen The Pope and Queen Elizabeth were standing on a balcony beaming at thousands of people in the forecourt below. The Queen says to the Pope out of the corner of her mouth, “I bet you a tenner that I can make every English person in the crowd go wild with just a wave of my […]...
4. The Pope took a philosophy professor The Pope took a philosophy professor (an atheist at that) out fishing on a large lake. As they drifted on the still lake, the philosopher accidentally dropped an oar and watched it float away. The pontiff stepped out of the boat, walked across the water to the oar, grabbed it and walked back to the […]...
5. When this guy heard that the Pope was coming to town When this guy heard that the Pope was coming to town, he went out and bought a tuxedo in the hope that the Pope might notice him on the parade route. When he went to the parade, there was this bum standing next to him, with old, dirty clothes on. The the guy’s amazement, when […]...
6. A lawyer and the pope were both killed in an accident A lawyer and the pope were both killed in an accident. The two were in line to see St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter asked the lawyer his name and looked it up in his book. He then asked the Pope for his name, and looked it up in his book also. “Now, […]...
7. One balmy evening in Rome the Pope decides to One balmy evening in Rome the Pope decides to take a walk. He slips out the rear door of the Vatican and is walking through the back alleys of Rome when he sees a ten-year-old boy smoking a cigarette. The Pope gently says to him, “Young man, you’re much too young to smoke!” The kid […]...
8. On the airplane on his way back to Rome, the Pope was On the airplane on his way back to Rome, the Pope was doing a crossword puzzle. After a while, he turned the the bishop sitting next to him and said, “What’s a four – letter word ending in “unt” which means “woman”? The bishop said, “Did you try “aunt”? The Pope said, “Mmmm. Do you […]...
9. Religious battle golf The Pope met with the College of Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Shimon Peres, the former leader of Israel. “Your holiness,” said one of the Cardinals, “Mr. Peres wants to determine whether Jews or Catholics are superior, by challenging you to a golf match.” The Pope was greatly disturbed, as he had never held […]...
10. There was an old woman on a plane, sitting next to the Pope There was an old woman on a plane, sitting next to the Pope. It was stormy outside, and the plane was being rocked by some severe turbulence. So this kindly old lady looked upon Death’s door, and said to her papal neighbour. ‘Father, surely you can do something about this…’ To which the Pope replied, […]...
11. The Pope was working on a crossword puzzle The Pope was working on a crossword puzzle. He thought and thought about one clue, finally gave up and asked the Cardinal next to him, “What’s a four letter word, ending in U – N – T that means ‘woman’?” The Cardinal was working on his own puzzle and didn’t even bother to look up. […]...
12. One Sunday, the pope REALLY wanted to play golf One Sunday, the pope REALLY wanted to play golf. But he couldn’t, since it was Sunday. But he figured, well, it’s ok if i just play a little bit. So he changed clothes and went out into the green. Up in heaven an angel saw him and reported it to Jesus. However, Jesus didn’t do […]...
13. Перевод слова meeting Meeting – собрание, совещание Перевод слова To fix a time for the meeting – назначить время встречи informal meeting – неофициальная встреча meeting point – место встречи Is the Meeting over yet? Собрание уже закончилось? It was a raucous Meeting. Заседание прошло бурно. The Meeting will be brief. Совещание будет кратким. Происхождение слова meeting Образовано […]...
14. Taking Minutes of a Meeting I was Absent at last month’s meeting, so imagine my surprise when I found out that I had been Elected the committee’s Secretary! As part of my duties, I have To take minutes at each meeting. Taking minutes means I have to pay attention and try my best To transcribe what each person says, or […]...
15. A theological debate Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He would have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy, if the […]...
16. Running a Meeting Good morning, everyone. I believe we are all here. Please be seated and let’s get started. Please join me in welcoming Olivia Dansk, from Garland Corporation I’m afraid that Lionel Wu from Manatect Can’t be with us today, but I’m pleased to welcome Representatives from both Danforth and Boyent. We’re here today to discuss the […]...
17. Setting Up Conference Calls and Videoconferences Ewan: Who’s running the Videoconference next week? Petra: I am. Desmond put me in charge of it last week. Ewan: Oh, somebody’s Moving up in the world. It’s nice that he’s giving you more responsibility. Petra: Yeah, but I’m not sure I’m ready. Ewan: I’ve set up Conference calls and videoconferences before. Maybe you can […]...
18. Accountant in Heaven An accountant dies and goes to Heaven. He reaches the pearly gates and is amazed to see a happy crowd all waving banners and chanting his name. After a few minutes St. Peter comes running across and says, “I’m sorry I wasn’t here to greet you personally. God is looking forward to meeting such a […]...
19. Saddam Hussein calls President Clinton and tells him Saddam Hussein calls President Clinton and tells him, “Bill, I had a wonderful dream last night. I could see America, the whole beautiful country, and on each house I saw a banner.” “What did it say on the banners?” Clinton asks. Saddam replies, “Allah is god, god is Allah.” Clinton says, “You know, Saddam, I […]...
20. Значение идиомы minutes of the meeting [minutes of the meeting] {n. phr.} The notes taken by the recordingsecretary; of an official body or an association recording of what wassaid and transacted during the given session. “Shall we accept theminutes of our last meeting as read by the secretary?” the chairmanasked....
21. The first engineer calls out to the other The first engineer calls out to the other, “Hey–Nice bike! Where did you get it?” “Well,” replies the other, “I was walking to class the other day when this pretty, young coed rides up on this bike. She jumps off, takes off all of her clothes, and says ‘you can have ANYTHING you want!'” “Good […]...
22. Перевод слова faith Faith – вера, доверие, убеждения Перевод слова To shake smb.’s faith – поколебать чью-л. веру the Christian faith – христианство to break one’s faith – отступиться от своих взглядов By my Faith! Клянусь честью! We have discarded our Faith in astrology and witches. Мы покончили с нашей верой в астрологию, ведьм и колдуний. She is […]...
23. Meeting Your Boyfriend’s/Girlfriend’s Parents Ronny: Ready? Judy: Ready as I’ll ever be. Ronny: Try To work up a little Enthusiasm about meeting my parents. Judy: It’s not them I’m worried about. It’s me. What if I don’t Pass muster? Ronny: My parents are going to love you. They’re Open-minded and Nonjudgmental people. They won’t care about anything except that […]...
24. A man calls his mother in Florida A man calls his mother in Florida. “Mom, how are you?” “Not too good,”says the mother. “I’ve been very weak.” The son says, “Why are you so weak?” She says, “Because I haven’t eaten in 38 days.” The man says, “That’s terrible. Why haven’t you eaten in 38 days? The mother answers, “Because I didn’t […]...
25. Scheduling a Meeting I needed to Schedule a meeting for the three Departments involved in a new project. I called each one to find a Date that Would work for all three of us. Bruno: So, Nicola, would the Day after tomorrow work for you? Nicola: No, I’ll be Out of the office all day. Could we Do […]...
26. Haircut before a trip A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, “Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded & dirty and full of Italians. You’re crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?” “We’re taking TWA,” was the reply. […]...
27. Violin Q: How can you tell if a violin is out of tune? A: The bow is moving. Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola? A: Sit in the back and don’t play. Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola? A: Play in the low register with a […]...
28. Irishman declares war Saddam Hussein is sitting at home when the phone rings. He picks it up and says “Hello”. The voice at the end of the phone says “Hello Mr. Hussein, it’s Paddy here. I’m just ringing to let you know that we’ve declared war on your country.” SH smiles to himself, “Come on Paddy”, he says, […]...
29. Перевод слова existence Existence – жизнь, существование, наличие Перевод слова The existence of civilization – существование цивилизации the existence of a fact – наличие факта to lead a dangerous existence – вести жизнь, полную опасностей He led a rather solitary Existence. Он вел довольно уединенный образ жизни. Dragons have no objective Existence. Драконы не существуют в действительности. They […]...
30. Three religious truths There are three religious truths: 1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah. 2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith. 3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters...
31. At a U. N. meeting the American ambassador At a U. N. meeting the American ambassador turned to the Japanese ambassador and whispered, “When was your last election?” The Japanese ambassador turned bright red and whispered back, “before bleakfast.”...
32. Collection 10 Why don’t you go to the library and brush up on your ignorance? I hear you changed your mind! What did you do with the diaper? You have an inferiority complex – and it’s fully justified. You are not as bad as people say – you are worse! Do you have to leave so soon? […]...
33. Пословица / поговорка the pot calls the kettle black – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: the pot calls the kettle black Перевод: горшок над котлом смеется, а оба черны; горшок котел сажей корил; оба хороши Пример: My friend always criticizes me for being late but that is like the pot calling the kettle black. He himself is the one who is usually late. Мой друг всегда осуждает […]...
34. While attending a spelling session in school one day While attending a spelling session in school one day, The teacher asked if anyone could spell the word DUMB? Darla raises her hand and says “I can, I can” The teacher replies, “OK, go ahead Darla…” Darla replies…”D-U-M-B” The teacher replies, “very good”, and “can you use that word in a sentence?” Darla replies, “Sure, […]...
35. Перевод слова salt Salt – соль, солить, соленый Перевод слова Corn of salt – крупинка соли a dash of salt – щепотка соли low-salt diet – диета с употреблением минимального количества соли Pass the Salt, please. Передайте соль, пожалуйста. The food was pure Salt. Это была не пища, а сплошная соль. He gargled with Salt water. Он полоскал […]...
36. Meeting an Out of Town Friend Lucy: Hey Jeff, Have you met my friend? Jeff: No, I don’t think I have. Lucy: Well, this is my Oldest and best friend, Marlene. She’s visiting From out of town. Jeff: Hi, I’m Jeff. Marlene: Hi, iT’s nice meeting you. Jeff: How long do you plan to be in town? Marlene: I’m here for […]...
37. Keeping a Meeting On Track Lynda: Could I say one more thing about that? Bruce: I’m afraid we’re Running short on time. Maybe we could Wrap up this discussion now. Lynda: Before we leave this topic, though, I really think we should talk about next year’s plans. Bruce: That’s Outside the scope of this meeting. We can put it on […]...
38. Meeting. Знакомство, приветствие, встреча Приветствие Hello. Здравствуйте. Hi. Привет. Hi! How are you? Привет! Как дела? Hi! How are you doing? Привет! Как дела? Hi! What’s up? Привет! Как жизнь? Hi! How’s it going? Привет! Как дела? How goes it? Как дела? What is the news? Что нового? Good morning. Доброе утро. Good afternoon. Добрый день. Good evening. Добрый […]...
39. The stupid questions The below excerpts appeared in the Salt Lake Tribune. They were taken from real court records. Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn’t know anything about it until the next morning? Q: What happened then? A: He told me, […]...
40. The good and the bad Patient: I’m in a hospital! Why am I in here? Doctor: You’ve had an accident involving a bus. Patient: What happened? Doctor: Well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first? Patient: Give me the bad news first. Doctor: Your legs were injured so badly that we […]...