The good and the bad

Related topics:

1. After a bad accident Patient: I’m in a hospital! Why am I in here? Doctor: You’ve had an accident involving a train. Patient: What happened? Doctor: Well, I’ve got some good news and some... ...
2. Crazy people talk A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient’s room. He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of... ...
3. A dyslexic nurse Two doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about Nurse Jenny. “She’s incredibly dumb. She does everything absolutely backwards.” said one doctor. “Just last week, I told her... ...
4. Good news Hiram answers the telephone, and it’s an emergency room doctor. The doctor says, “Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The... ...
5. The bad news and the good news Harry answers the telephone, and it’s an Emergency Room doctor. The doctor says, “Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The... ...
6. Passing an exam Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However,... ...
7. A stuttering problem A man visits the doctor’s because he has a severe stuttering problem. After a thorough examination, the doctor consults with the patient. Doctor: ‘It appears that the reason for your... ...
8. Перевод слова ward Ward – помещать в больницу, больничная палата; опека, попечительство, защита Перевод слова A child in ward – ребенок, находящийся под опекой delivery ward – родильное отделение emergency ward – отделение... ...
9. John and David were both patients in a Mental hospital John and David were both patients in a Mental hospital. One day, John suddenly dived into the deep end of the swimming pool. David jumped in and saved him, and... ...
10. HEGS The Doctor tells his patient that he has H-E-G-S “What’s that?”, the patient asks. “It’s a combination of Herpes, Encephalitis, Gonorrhea and Syphyllis.” The patient wants to know if there’s... ...
11. A large difference A man went to the doctor’s. The doctor came in and said, “Well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that you have an... ...
12. The definition of a phallic symbol This girl walks in to a doctors office and she asks “Whats a failic symbol? Doctor says “you’re kidding..” Girl says “no! I don’t know! Whats a failic symbol???” Doctor... ...
13. There was this man in a mental hospital There was this man in a mental hospital. All day he would put his ear to the wall and listen. The doctor would watch this guy do this day after... ...
14. The Pope calls a meeting of all the cardinals The Pope calls a meeting of all the cardinals. When they have all assembled at the Vatican, he takes them into the meeting hall and states, “I have some really... ...
15. An elderly patient needed a heart transplant An elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his options with his doctor. The doctor said, “We have 3 possible donors; the 1st is a young, healthy athlete who... ...
16. A man goes to the doctor with a long history of A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that his poor patient has had practically... ...
17. A woman visits her physician A woman visits her physician. After waiting for a while it’s finally her turn. She enters the doctors’ office and sits down. The PhD asks her: “Well, what can I... ...
18. Nauseous sex Patient: Doctor I’m having trouble having sex with my wife. When I get close enough to her, I get nauseous. When I insert, even an inch or two, I get... ...
19. The doctor looked at the woman who had come to him The doctor looked at the woman who had come to him for an examination. “Mrs. Brown, I have some good news for you.” The woman said, “I’m glad to hear... ...
20. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “Осмотр у врача” (At the doctor’s) Patient: Good morning, doctor. Doctor: Good morning. How do you feel today? Patient: I feel better today, but I am still of-colour. I`m sleeping badly and I have no appetite.... ...
21. Having a Good or Bad Bedside Manner Cho: I’m not sure I’m Cut out to be a doctor. Joy: I think you’ll be great. I’ve seen you with Patients and you have a great Bedside manner –... ...
22. Mister Smith rushes into the maternity ward Mister Smith rushes into the maternity ward, “What’s wrong? What’s the emergency?” “Oh, Mister Smith, your child was just born and I have some terrible news for you. It’s disfigured.”... ...
23. A man comes to a doctor and A man comes to a doctor and, twitching his fingers and stuttering, finally manages to say, “Doctor, I have a sexual performance problem. Can you help me?” “Oh, that’s not... ...
24. A young lady had just visited her doctor A young lady had just visited her doctor and he informed her that she was pregnant. The young lady had been married for ten years and had wanted a baby... ...
25. Love to Death A man goes to his doctor for his annual physical complaining of all kinds of mysterious ailments – lack of sleep, no drive, very little appetite, nervous, etc. After a... ...
26. Some problems A woman gives birth by a Caesarian and passes out. When she comes to her senses, the doctor approaches her bed and says: “I’m sorry to tell you, Mrs. Smith,... ...
27. When the man first noticed that his penis was growing longer When the man first noticed that his penis was growing longer, he was delighted. But several weeks and several inches later, he became concerned and went to see a urologist.... ...
28. Doctor’s compliment A lady came to see a doctor because of sharp pain in her stomack. After examining his patient doctor gave out the diagnosis: – Madam, you have acute appendicitis. –... ...
29. Doctor-Patient Confidentiality Dr. Green: Can I Consult you on a case of Medical ethics? Dr. Hause: Sure, I’m not a lawyer, but I can give you my opinion as another doctor. Dr.... ...
30. This man goes into the doctor with his This man goes into the doctor with his ringhole in a terrible state, really bad now. Doctor: “What happened to you?” He says: “I was in Africa on safari and... ...
31. My heart set A certain old gentleman thought his eyesight was going bad, and he was advised to go to see an eye doctor. He goes in to see the doctor, and the... ...
32. Appearance: Legs and Feet – Внешность: ноги и ступни At the hospital, Bill took off his sock and pulled his trouser leg up over his knee onto his thigh. The doctor looked down at the injured foot, which was... ...
33. Pneumonia A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn’t help. On his next visit the doctor... ...
34. Перевод слова injure Injure – ранить, причинять боль, вредить Перевод слова To injure oneself – пораниться, ушибиться crops injured by hail – побитые градом посевы to injure smb.’s pride – задеть чье-л. самолюбие... ...
35. Constipation problem Old Aunt Dora went to her doctor to see what could be done about her constipation. “It’s terrible,” she said, “I haven’t moved my bowels in a week.” “I see.... ...
36. Перевод слова badly Badly – плохо, дурно, скверно, тяжело Перевод слова Badly wounded – тяжело раненный to be badly ill – быть опасно больным badly in need – в крайней нужде, бедности to... ...
37. A pregnant woman is about to give birth A pregnant woman is about to give birth. The doctor has her on the delivery table, legs up in the stirrups. Suddenly, he sees the top of a head push... ...
38. Aunt Dora went to her doctor to see what could be done Aunt Dora went to her doctor to see what could be done about her constipation. “It’s terrible,” she said, “I haven’t moved my bowels in a week.” “I see. Have... ...
39. The doctor looked benignly at the woman who had come to him The doctor looked benignly at the woman who had come to him for an examination. “Mrs. Brown,” he said, “I have some good news for you.” The woman said, “I’m... ...
40. A little change The patient shook his doctor’s hand in gratitude and said: “Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would... ...