Marrying Young

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1. A young married womanA young married woman was discussing her sex life with a girlfriend. The girlfriend asked, «Do you talk to your husband when you’re making love?» She thought about it a minute then said, «Well, no. But I could. I mean he has a cell phone and all now.»...
2. Having a Slumber PartyRuss: Mom says you’re having a Slumber party next Saturday. Irene: I’m just having a few friends over for a Sleepover and it’s None of your business. Russ: Don’t be like that. How many people did you invite? Irene: I’m not telling you anything. I know what you’re thinking. You want To pull pranks on ... Читать далее...
3. The young couple was engaged in a most affectionateThe young couple was engaged in a most affectionate embrace when there came the sound of a key in the front door. The young lady broke away at once, eyes wide with alarm. «Heavens,» she cried, «it’s my husband! Quick, jump out the window.» The young man, equally alarmed, made a quick step toward the ... Читать далее...
4. Not the Marrying KindStacey: I have a date with George this Saturday. I can’t wait! Brad: Have a good time, but you know what The word on the street is about George, don’t you? Stacey: What? Brad: He’s Not the marrying kind. Stacey: Oh, he just hasn’t met the right girl yet. When he does, he’ll be ready ... Читать далее...
5. Marrying and divorcing in HeavenIt seems that a devout, good couple was about to get married, but a tragic car accident ended their lives. When they got to heaven, they asked St. Peter if he could arrange for them to get married, saying that it was what they had hoped for in life, and they still desired wedded union. ... Читать далее...
6. An old man of 70 married a young girl of 18An old man of 70 married a young girl of 18. When they got into bed the night after the wedding, he held up three fingers. «Oh honey», said the young nymph, «Does that mean we’re going to do it three times?» «No», said the old man, «It means you can take your pick.»...
7. Marriages — Official or NotВ топике Брак: официальный или гражданский – рассматриваются две точки зрения на брак. В последнее время многие пары предпочитают жить в гражданском браке и это их выбор. Другие пары считают, что официально оформленный брак – прочнее, стабильнее и традиционнее. Как бы то ни было, каждый выбирает для себя более удобный вариант. Nowadays official marriages are ... Читать далее...
8. Playing in a TournamentIrene: How is your team doing in the Standings? Kent: They’re Seeded sixth and they’re In a bracket with one of the best teams in the Tournament. Our team has already lost to them. Irene: I thought it was a Double-elimination tournament. Kent: It is. That’s the only reason they’re not Out of contention for ... Читать далее...
9. A young man asks his fatherA young man asks his father, «Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there?» The father, surprised, answers: «Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, ... Читать далее...
10. The Young Mans Big MouthThe Young Man’s Big Mouth A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. «Well,» he said, «I’ve been seeing this girl for a while and she’s really hot. I want the condoms ... Читать далее...
11. Matt Damon, Ben Affleck paid for auditions from joint bank account«When I look back at that, a 16 and 14 year old, we were really young to be taking the bus by ourselves to New York and spending a day going to an audition — we were living adult lives as teenagers,» Damon said. Matt Damon has revealed that he shared a bank account with ... Читать далее...
12. This young lady, a flighty young thingThis young lady, a flighty young thing, got a job cleaning the bank windows in the evening after the bank closed for business. Anyway, she was up this ladder, cleaning good and proper and as she was in the habit of wearing no knickers, every young man who would come along would stop and stare ... Читать далее...
13. A young man was staying on a farm with his uncle and auntA young man was staying on a farm with his uncle and aunt for the summer. One morning the aunt and uncle walked in the kitchen and the young man was drinking an extremely large glass of milk. The young man said «I took the liberty of milking your cow this morning!» He then continues ... Читать далее...
14. Farming and AgribusinessBrad: Is this your first visit to this area? Irene: It is and I’m surprised to see so many farms. I thought farming was a Dying industry. Brad: Family farms and Small-scale farming are disappearing, but Agribusiness is Alive and well, thanks to Government subsidies. Irene: Are they Lucrative? Brad: They can be, but the ... Читать далее...
15. Going to the ParkI arrived at the Park a little early for our neighborhood baseball game and I needed To kill some time. I decided to take a walk along one of the Trails so I could look at the Scenery. Suddenly, I Came across A woman sitting under a Tree. Octavi: What a beautiful day to be ... Читать далее...
16. Working on CommissionDennis: I just got a new Sales job and I’m going to be Making a bundle. Irene: What kind of job is it? Dennis: I’ll be Working strictly on commission. The more I sell, the more I earn. It’s a great opportunity for someone with my talents in sales. Irene: I know you’re great at ... Читать далее...
17. Перевод слова youngYoung — молодой, юный Перевод слова Robust young man — здоровый крепкий юноша young fellow — молодой человек young idea — свежая идея A Young cat is a kitten. Маленькую кошку называют котенком. He looks Young for his age. Он выглядит молодо для своего возраста. The lioness fought to protect her Young. Львица дралась, чтобы ... Читать далее...
18. Getting a ColdWalt: What’s the matter with you? Irene: I have a bad Cold. Walt: Why didn’t you stay home from work? You’re probably Contagious! Irene: I had no choice. I have an important presentation this afternoon and I can’t Play hooky. Walt: You can’t give a presentation in your condition. Your nose is Running, your eyes ... Читать далее...
19. Marrying a Gold DiggerLiza: Isn’t Jesse wonderful? I’m so glad you got to meet him last night. Sinobu: Uh, he’s a little young for you, don’t you think? I know you’ve had Boy toys in the past, but he Takes the cake. Liza: He’s no boy toy! It’s true that there’s a 30-year Age difference, but who cares ... Читать далее...
20. A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good lookingA young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking sailor were shipwrecked on an island. One morning, the sailor climbed a tall coconut tree and yelled, «Stop making love down there!» «What’s the matter with you?» the husband said when the sailor climbed down. «We weren’t making love.» «Sorry,» said the sailor, «From ... Читать далее...
21. Making a DiscoveryPierre: How does it feel to be On the cusp of a new Discovery? Irene: Let’s not Jump the gun. We’ve made some major Leaps forward, but I’m not sure I’d call what we’ve done so far Revolutionary. Pierre: Not yet, but you’re close to a Breakthrough. That’s Evident. Irene: I think you might be ... Читать далее...
22. A young lady had just visited her doctorA young lady had just visited her doctor and he informed her that she was pregnant. The young lady had been married for ten years and had wanted a baby very badly. As she sat on the bus, on her way home, she felt that she had to share the good news with someone. The ... Читать далее...
23. The Divorce Surge Is Over, but the Myth Lives OnCumulative share of marriages ending in divorce. Divorce rates increased in the 1970s and 1980s, but in the last 20 years they have dropped. When Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin «consciously uncoupled» this year, ABC News said it was the latest example of the out-of-control divorce rate, «50 percent and climbing.» When Fox News anchors ... Читать далее...
24. Getting Shocking NewsKarla: You look like you’ve had a Shock. Chris: Yeah, that phone call Threw me for a loop. My ex-girlfriend is Pregnant and she wants me to take a Paternity test. Karla: Wow, that’s quite a Bombshell. Are you going to do it? Chris: Of course. If the baby is Biologically mine, I want to ... Читать далее...
25. For three years, the young attorney had been taking hisFor three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The last time he’d finally managed an affair with the innkeeper’s daughter. Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant ... Читать далее...
26. A young married couple has difficulties conceiving a babyA young married couple has difficulties conceiving a baby, so after a while the wife consults her doctor, who recommends the minor of three possible operations. The operation is performed, but a month later, she’s still not pregnant, so she goes to see the doctor again. This time he recommends the medium operation, a somewhat ... Читать далее...
27. The ‘Good Will Hunting’ Script’s Hidden SecretPenned by a couple of then-relatively unknown writers and produced with a modest budget, Good Will Hunting proved to be a surprising success at the box office. It also garnered several Oscar nominations, with the late Robin Williams picking up the prize for Best Supporting Actor. Also taking home Oscar gold for the movie were ... Читать далее...
28. A young Jewish man excitedly tells his motherA young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in love and that he is going to get married. He says, «Just for fun, Ma, I’m going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry.» The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women ... Читать далее...
29. A young couple gets married, and the groomA young couple gets married, and the groom asks his bride if he can have a dresser drawer of his own that she will never open. The bride agrees. After 30 years of marriage, she notices that his drawer has been left ajar. She peeks in and sees 3 golf balls and $6,000. She confronts ... Читать далее...
30. TraditionsA man and a woman got married, and he told her : » since you are my wife you should respect my traditions and habits…and i have 3 traditions. So, first tradition: On wednesdays i play football with my friends…no matter what..whether it snows or it rains…i dont care..i play football!! -Is it clear for ... Читать далее...
31. A young couple got married, and in their familyA young couple got married, and in their family, it was tradition that the best man dance with the bride for the first song. Well, this happened…but then they danced for the second song too. And the third. By the time the fourth song came on, the groom ran up and kicked the bride between ... Читать далее...
32. There once was a young Irish woman who went to confessionThere once was a young Irish woman who went to confession. Upon entering the confessional she said, «Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.» The priest said, «Confess your sins and be forgiven.» The young woman said, «Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.» The priest thought long and hard ... Читать далее...
33. There was a young man in the Air ForceThere was a young man in the Air Force who was so well — endowed that it was bothering his knee. Three Air Force doctors and one Air Force nurse were in the operating room to remedy the situation. The first doctor said, «We’ll just take a big hunk off the end.» They discussed it ... Читать далее...
34. Пословица / поговорка you are only young once — перевод и значение, пример использованияПословица / поговорка: you are only young once Перевод: молодость бывает лишь однажды Эквивалент в русском языке: жизнь коротка Пример: The young man’s grandmother believed that you are only young once and encouraged her grandson to do many new things in his life. Бабушка молодого человека считала, что молодость бывает лишь однажды, и она убеждала ... Читать далее...
35. One day this old man was about to have sex with a young girlOne day this old man was about to have sex with a young girl which he did not know. The old man began to put on his condom when the young girl asked him why is he putting one on. She said «you don’t have to worry about getting me pregnant because you are too ... Читать далее...
36. Young People’s Problems — Проблемы молодежиEverybody says your youth is probably the best time of your life, that being young means romance, love, new discoveries and so on. But it is also the most difficult time because you have to make some very important decisions which will influence all your future life. Things are not easy nowadays even for adults, ... Читать далее...
37. Several weeks after a young man had been hiredSeveral weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director’s office. «What is the meaning of this?» the director asked. «When you applied for this job, you told us you had five years experience. Now we discovered this is the first job you’ve ever held.» «Well,» the young man ... Читать далее...
38. Describing Family RelationsEri: What’s that? James: It’s an invitation to a Family reunion. Once every five years or so, someone in the family organizes one. Eri: Are you going? James: I’m not sure. It’s always a little awkward seeing Extended family. Did you know that there used to be a big Feud between my father and his ... Читать далее...
39. Unconventional MarriagesKaram: You and Daniel have been dating for over a year. Are you guys thinking of Tying the knot? Raphaela: I’m not sure. Neither Daniel nor I believe in following Conventions. We’re both open to an Unconventional relationship. Karam: What kind of unconventional relationship? Raphaela: Many different kinds. We’re very Open-minded. Karam: Okay, for instance, ... Читать далее...
40. A young punk gets on the cross-town busA young punk gets on the cross-town bus. He’s got spiked, multicoloured hair that’s green, purple and orange. His clothes are a tattered mix of leather rags. His legs are bare and he’s wearing worn-out shoes. His entire face and body are riddled with pierced jewellery and his earring are big, bright feathers. He sits ... Читать далее...