Drinking too much
A man sat down at a bar, looked into his shirt pocket, and ordered a double scotch. A few minutes later, the man again peeked into his pocket and ordered another double. This routine
A Blonde
A Blonde A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid,
Orchestra
Q: What is the definition of a Soviet String Quartet? A: A Soviet Symphony Orchestra after a tour of the USA! Q: What do you do with percussionists that lose one of their drumsticks?
Flying in the plane
Sue and Bob, a pair of tight wads, lived in the mid west, and had been married years. Bob had always want to go flying. The desire deepen each time a barn stormer flew
Acronyms
PCMCIA People Can’t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms ISDN It Still Does Nothing APPLE Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity SCSI System Can’t See It DOS Defunct Operating System BASIC Bill’s Attempt to Seize Industry Control IBM
A man goes to a psychiatrist
A man goes to a psychiatrist. To start things off, the psychiatrist suggests they start with a Rorschach Test. He holds up the first picture and asks the man what he sees. “A man
Chem one-liners 02
Q: How many physical chemists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but he’ll change it three times, plot a straight line through the data, and then extrapolate to zero
The accident report
Dear Sir, I am writing in response to your request for additional information for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put “poor planning” as the cause of my accident. You said
Judi and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends
Judi and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends. Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row! Judi: That’s nothing; last night I had over a hundred. Brunette: My god! I had no
Requesting a three day pass
An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. The CO says “Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You