Bass

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1. Saxophone Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw? A: It’s all in the grip. Q: What is the difference between a lawnmower and a soprano sax? A:... ...
2. Tuba Q: What is the range of a tuba? A: Twenty yards if you’ve got a good arm. Q: What’s a tuba for? A: 1 1/2 X 3 1/2. Q: There... ...
3. French horn Q: What do you get when you cross a French horn player with a goal post? A: A goal post that can’t march. Q: How many French horn players does... ...
4. Dogs and Light Bulbs How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? Border Collie: Just one. Then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code. Rottweiler: Make me! Lab: Oh,... ...
5. Trumpet Q: How many lead trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Fifty. One to do it and the others to stand around and say, “I could... ...
6. Перевод слова bulb Bulb – луковица, электрическая лампочка Перевод слова Bulb of the hair – луковица волос bulb of eye – глазное яблоко frosted bulb – матовая лампочка The Bulb’s gone in the... ...
7. How many women with PMS does it take to Q: How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one... ...
8. Banjo Q: How many banjo players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but all the others gathered around will complain that that’s not the way Earl... ...
9. English horn Q: What is the difference between hearing an English horn solo and being tortured? A: One is far more painful to your ears. Q: What’s the name of a good... ...
10. Guitar Q: How do you make him stop playing? A: Put notes on it! Q: What did the guitar say to the guitarist? A: Pick on someone your own size! Q:... ...
11. Vocals Q: How do you tell when your lead singer is at the door? A: He can’t find the key and doesn’t know when to come in. Q: What is the... ...
12. Musician Q: How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb? A: Twenty. 1 to do it and the other 19 to stand around and say, “I can do... ...
13. How many managers does it take to change a light bulb? Q: How many managers does it take to change a light bulb? A: We’ve formed a task force to study the problem of why light bulbs burn out, and figure... ...
14. Describing Talent and Ability Kathy: Thanks for inviting me to see your team. Who’s your best player? Brad: That would be Sarah. She’s a Natural. No one comes close to her speed and Dexterity.... ...
15. Bagpipes Q: Why do bagpipers walk when they play? A: To get away from the noise. Q: What’s the only thing worse than a bagpiper? A: Good question. We’re still trying... ...
16. Next time you think your hotel bill is too high you might want to consider this Husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston After almost twenty-four hours on the road, They’re too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for... ...
17. Question answer 02 Why should you be careful playing against a team of big cats? They might be cheetahs! Manager: Our new midfielder cost ten million. I call him our wonder player Fan:... ...
18. Clarinet Q: What’s the definition of a nerd? A: Someone who has his or her own alto clarinet. Q: Why do clarinetists leave their cases on the dashboard? A: So they... ...
19. Question answer 03 What’s the chilliest ground in the premiership? Cold Trafford! How did the footbal pitch end up as triangle? Somebody took a corner! Why didn’t the dog want to play football?... ...
20. Thomas Alva Edison Most people know that Thomas Edison invented the first working light bulb, but they don’t know anything else about him. Edison had almost no formal schooling, yet he invented over... ...
21. There was a boy who worked in the produce section of the market There was a boy who worked in the produce section of the market. One day, a man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy... ...
22. Chem one-liners 02 Q: How many physical chemists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but he’ll change it three times, plot a straight line through the data, and... ...
23. Golf in the Bedroom Golf in the Bedroom Rules of Play Each player shall provide his own equipment – normally one club and two balls. Play on a course must be approved by the... ...
24. Question answer 01 Where do religious school children practice sports? In the prayground! How did the basketball court get wet? The players dribbled all over it! Why did the chicken get sent off?... ...
25. Перевод слова player Player – игрок, плеер Перевод слова Circumspect player – осторожный игрок composite player – коллективный игрок chess player – игрок в шахматы He’s a very fine Player. Он очень хороший... ...
26. Sports Tryouts Marcela: All right, you’re ready for these Tryouts. You’ve passed your Physical. You’ve trained for months. You’re going To make that team. Kenji: It’s okay. I don’t need a Pep... ...
27. Orchestra Q: What is the definition of a Soviet String Quartet? A: A Soviet Symphony Orchestra after a tour of the USA! Q: What do you do with percussionists that lose... ...
28. Перевод слова manager Manager – управляющий, руководитель, менеджер Перевод слова Manager of distribution – менеджер отдела сбыта branch manager – заведующий отделением, заведующий филиалом campaign manager – руководитель избирательной кампании He was appointed... ...
29. Good fortune A man walks along a lonely beach. Suddenly he hears a deep voice: DIG! He looks around: nobody’s there. I am having hallucinations, he thinks. Then he hears the voice... ...
30. Technology problems One of my friends works in the customer service call center of a national pager company. He deals with the usual complaints regarding poor pager operation, as well as the... ...
31. So the new conductor addresses the orchestra So the new conductor addresses the orchestra. He tells them that things are going to change, that everyone will be expected to be on time and that they will work... ...
32. Значение идиомы sleep like a log [sleep like a log] {v. phr.} To sleep very deeply and soundly. Although I am usually a light sleeper, I was so exhausted from thesixteen-hour transpacific flight that, once we... ...
33. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor... ...
34. Listening to Music Victoria: I see that you have a really Extensive music Collection. J. D.: Yeah, I like a lot of different Genres of music. Victoria: Do you have the new J.... ...
35. Биография Томаса Эдисона на английском языке. Biography of Thomas Edison Most people know that Thomas Edison invented the first working light bulb, but they don’t know anything else about him. Edison had almost no formal schooling, yet he invented over... ...
36. Значение идиомы light [light] See: BRING TO LIGHT, COME TO LIGHT, DASH LIGHT, HIDE ONE’SLIGHT UNDER A BUSHEL, IN THE LIGHT OF, MAKE LIGHT OF, MANY HANDS MAKELIGHT WORK, OUT LIKE A LIGHT,... ...
37. Перевод сленгового выражения eats, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: eats Перевод: еда, пища, особенно простая, недорогая пища Синоним: grub Пример: I’m hungry. Let’s get some eats! Я голоден. Давай перекусим!...
38. A college professor’s going to bed with his wife A college professor’s going to bed with his wife. He’s not that tired, so he’s gonna stay awake and read while she goes to sleep. So he’s reading, and every... ...
39. Значение идиомы pan out [pan out] {v.}, {informal} To have a result, especially a goodresult; result favorably; succeed. Suppose the class tried to makemoney by selling candy. How would that pan out? Edison’s effortsto... ...
40. Перевод слова drum Drum – барабан; стучать Перевод слова To beat the drum – бить в барабан with drums beating – под барабанный бой to drum a tune – выстукивать мелодию The Drums... ...