English horn

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1. French horn Q: What do you get when you cross a French horn player with a goal post? A: A goal post that can’t march. Q: How many French horn players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Just one, but he’ll spend two hours checking the bulb for alignment and leaks. Q: What do […]...
2. Saxophone Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw? A: It’s all in the grip. Q: What is the difference between a lawnmower and a soprano sax? A: You can tune the lawnmower and the owner’s neighbors don’t mind if you don’t return the sax when you borrow it. Q: What is the […]...
3. Guitar Q: How do you make him stop playing? A: Put notes on it! Q: What did the guitar say to the guitarist? A: Pick on someone your own size! Q: What’s the definition of a minor second? A: Two lead guitarists playing in unison. Q: What do you call two guitarists playing in unison? A: […]...
4. Without a horn Judi went to a “Dude Ranch” on vacation. The cowboy preparing the horses asked if she wanted a Western or English saddle. Judi asked what the difference was. “Well, one has a horn and the other doesn’t.” “Just get the one without the horn. I don’t think we’ll run into too much traffic out here.”...
5. Перевод идиомы blow one’s own horn / toot one’s own horn, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: blow one’s own horn / toot one’s own horn Перевод: хвалиться, хвастаться, нахваливать себя Пример: My friend is always blowing his own horn and is very annoying at times. Мой друг постоянно хвалится, и иногда он очень действует на нервы....
6. Bass Q: Why did the bass player get mad at the timpanist? A: He turned a peg and wouldn’t tell the bass player which one. Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one – but the guitarist has to show him first. Q: How many bass players does […]...
7. Trumpet Q: How many lead trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Fifty. One to do it and the others to stand around and say, “I could do that better. Q: What do lead trumpet players use for birth control? A: Their personality. Q: What is the difference between a trumpet soloist […]...
8. Dogs and Light Bulbs How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? Border Collie: Just one. Then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code. Rottweiler: Make me! Lab: Oh, me, me! Pleeease let me change the light bulb! Can I? Huh? Huh? Dachshund: You know I can’t reach that stupid lamp! Malamute: Let the […]...
9. Banjo Q: How many banjo players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but all the others gathered around will complain that that’s not the way Earl Scruggs would have done it. Q: How can you tell the stage you’re playing on is level? A: The banjo player is drooling out of […]...
10. Значение идиомы blow one’s own horn [blow one’s own horn] or [toot one’s own horn] {v. phr.}, {slang} To praise yourself; call attention to your own skill, intelligence, or successes; boast. People get tired of a man who is always blowing his own horn. A person who does things well does not have to toot his own horn; his abilities will […]...
11. Перевод слова bulb Bulb – луковица, электрическая лампочка Перевод слова Bulb of the hair – луковица волос bulb of eye – глазное яблоко frosted bulb – матовая лампочка The Bulb’s gone in the bathroom. В ванной перегорела лампочка. A light Bulb dangled from the ceiling. С потолка свисала электрическая лампочка. I’m not very practical – I can’t even […]...
12. How many women with PMS does it take to Q: How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don’t even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this […]...
13. Перевод слова horn Horn – рог, рожок, гудок Перевод слова Horns and hoofs – рога и копыта shepherd’s horn – пастуший рожок horn of abundance – рог изобилия The Horn below sounded the recall. Раздался звук горна, означающий сигнал к возвращению. A motor Horn sounded off behind me and scared me silly. За моей спиной просигналил клаксон и […]...
14. Tuba Q: What is the range of a tuba? A: Twenty yards if you’ve got a good arm. Q: What’s a tuba for? A: 1 1/2 X 3 1/2. Q: There are two tubaplayers sitting in a car. Who’s driving? A: The policeman Tuba Player: Did you hear my last recital? Friend: I hope so. Q: […]...
15. Значение идиомы horn in [horn in] {v.}, {slang} To come in without invitation or welcome;interfere. Often used with “on”. Jack would often horn in onconversations discussing things he knew nothing about. Lee hornedin on Ray and Annie and wanted to dance with Annie. Compare: BUTT IN....
16. Musician Q: How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb? A: Twenty. 1 to do it and the other 19 to stand around and say, “I can do that!” Q: What do you get if Bach falls off a horse, but has the courage to get on again and continue riding? A: Bach […]...
17. Biotech firm creates fake rhino horn to reduce poaching A San Francisco biotech startup has managed to 3D print fake rhino horns that carry the same genetic fingerprint as the actual horn. It plans to flood Chinese market with these cheap horns to curb poaching. Pembient, based in San Francisco uses keratin – a type of fibrous protein – and rhino DNA to produce […]...
18. Bagpipes Q: Why do bagpipers walk when they play? A: To get away from the noise. Q: What’s the only thing worse than a bagpiper? A: Good question. We’re still trying to find out too. Bagpipes (noun) – I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic […]...
19. What is the difference between a English actuary and What is the difference between a English actuary and a Sicilian actuary? An English actuary can tell you how many people are going to die next year. A Sicilian actuary can give you their names…...
20. A miserable rooster A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders. He says, “What the hell is that all about?” The farmer says, “We had a fire in the chicken coop and all his feathers got singed off, so the wife made him some clothes […]...
21. How many managers does it take to change a light bulb? Q: How many managers does it take to change a light bulb? A: We’ve formed a task force to study the problem of why light bulbs burn out, and figure out what, exactly, we as supervisors can do to make the bulbs work smarter, not harder....
22. Two English sheep in a field Two English sheep in a field. One says to the other “I’m not feeling very well” The other turns around and replies “Shut-the-f*ck-up, or you’ll get us all killed” Sent by paully...
23. Значение идиомы a hell of [a hell of] a [or one hell of a] {adj. or adv. phr.}, {informal} Extraordinary; very. He made a hell of a shot during the basketball game. Max said seven months was a hell of a time to have to wait for a simple visa. The fall Max took left one hell of a bruise […]...
24. A man goes into a bar with his pet octopus A man goes into a bar with his pet octopus and says “I’ll bet $50 that no one here has a musical instrument that this octopus CAN’T play’ The people in the bar look around, and someone fetches out an old guitar. The octopus has a look, picks it up, tunes the string, and starts […]...
25. Значение идиомы body English [body English] {n.}, {informal} The wishful attempt to make a ball move in the right direction after it has been hit or let go, by twisting the body in the desired direction. He tried to help the putt fall by using body English....
26. Упражнения “Различия британский – американский British English – American English” (с ответами) 1. Распределите следующие слова на две группы (Британский и Американский), обращая внимание на написание слов. Favorite – favourite, apologize – apologise, labour – labor, catalogue – catalog, theatre – theater, counselor – counsellor, license – licence, color – colour, hypnotise – hypnotize, center – centre, programme – program, specialize – specialise, traveller – traveler, humour […]...
27. Isaac Newton – the Great English Scientist Isaac Newton was a great English scientist. He was born in 1642 in a little village in Lincolnshire: Newton’s father was a farmer and died before his son’s birth. When Newton was 15, his uncle removed him from school because he wanted to make a farmer of him. But a young Isaac was a bad […]...
28. English is a Crazy Language From: Charlie Indelicato Let’s face it – English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But […]...
29. Перевод слова ladder Ladder – лестница Перевод слова Escape ladder – спасательная лестница accommodation ladder – приставная лестница to put up a ladder – ставить, приставлять лестницу career ladder – карьерная лестница I can’t get at the top branches, can you bring the Ladder? Я не достаю до верхних веток, принеси мне, пожалуйста, лестницу. He climbed up the […]...
30. English and me – Английский и я English belongs to the Teutonic or Germanic branch of the Indo-European family of the languages. It is only in the course of the last hundred years that English has become a world language. In Shakespeare’s time it was a provincial language of secondary importance with only 6 million native speakers. Nowadays English has become the […]...
31. Перевод слова English English – английский, английский язык Перевод слова Spoken English – разговорный английский broken English – ломаный английский not English – не по-английски the whole field of English history – вся английская история English is spoken here. Здесь говорят по-английски. His English was perfect. Он безупречно говорил по-английски. Her English is idiomatic. Она говорит по-английски практически […]...
32. Vocals Q: How do you tell when your lead singer is at the door? A: He can’t find the key and doesn’t know when to come in. Q: What is the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and an All-Pro offensive lineman? A: Stage makeup. Q: How many lead singers does it take to change a light […]...
33. A man decided to have a face lift A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really great about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how old do you think […]...
34. On their honeymoon night On their honeymoon night, the burly groom took off his pants and asked his bride to put them on. The waist alone was twice her body. She said, “I can’t wear your pants.” “That’s right,” intoned the groom, “And don’t you forget it. I’m the one who wears the pants in the family.” The bride […]...
35. The English Year В топике Английский год рассказывается, как англичане делят год на сезоны, и какие месяцы соответствуют каждому времени года. Например, зима в Англии – это ноябрь, декабрь, январь и февраль; весна – март и апрель; лето – май, июнь, июль и август; осень – сентябрь и октябрь. В Великобритании зимние месяцы холодные, идет снег и дождь. […]...
36. Значение идиомы pants [pants] See: ANTS IN ONE’S PANTS, CATCH ONE WITH ONE’S PANTS DOWN, FANCY PANTS, FLY BY THE SEAT OF ONE’S PANTS, GET THE LEAD OUT OF ONE’spanTS, KICK IN THE PANTS, WEAR THE TROUSERS or WEAR THE PANTS....
37. Some of the most tactful people on Earth are English Some of the most tactful people on Earth are English. One office supervisor called a secretary in to give her the bad news that she was being fired. He started the conversation with: “Miss Symthe, I really don’t know how we’re going to get along without you, but starting Monday, we’re going to try....
38. Gates gets punishment Bill Gates suddenly dies and finds himself face to face with God. God stood over Bill Gates and said, “Well Bill, I’m really confused on this one. It’s a tough decision; I’m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every […]...
39. Значение идиомы get the lead out of one’s pants [get the lead out of one’s pants] {v. phr.}, {slang} To get busy;work faster. The captain told the sailors to get the lead out oftheir pants. The coach told the players to get the lead out oftheir pants....
40. Значение идиомы warm-up [warm-up] {n.} A period of exercise or practice in preparation fora game or other event. During the warm-up the baseball players werethrowing the ball around and running up and down the side of thefield. Before the television quiz program, there was a warm-up toprepare the contestants....