So the new conductor addresses the orchestra

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1. Bass Q: Why did the bass player get mad at the timpanist? A: He turned a peg and wouldn’t tell the bass player which one. Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one – but the guitarist has to show him first. Q: How many bass players does […]...
2. Перевод слова conductor Conductor – дирижер, проводник Перевод слова Conductor of a party – проводник группы the guest conductor – приглашенный дирижер multiple-conductor cable – многожильный кабель Metal is a good Conductor of electricity. Металл является хорошим проводником электричества. Women are Conductors of haemophilia. Гемофилия передается по женской линии. ‘Tickets please!’ bawled the Conductor. “Билеты, пожалуйста!” громко сказал […]...
3. Orchestra Q: What is the definition of a Soviet String Quartet? A: A Soviet Symphony Orchestra after a tour of the USA! Q: What do you do with percussionists that lose one of their drumsticks? A: Stick them up front of the group and tell them to wave their arms! Q: How many conductors does it […]...
4. Understanding Addresses I was away from my office and needed to send some letters to clients. Unfortunately, I didn’t have their addresses, so I called the office secretary. Christina: Hi, Jacob. I need your help getting the Mailing addresses for a couple of clients. Jacob: Sure. Which ones? Christina: I need addresses for Jim Kelly and for […]...
5. Doing Pro Bono Work Claire: Welcome to the Firm. Are you Getting the hang of things here? Jack: I am. I worked in another firm for two years before coming here, so I have some experience Under my belt. But let me ask you one thing: Is the firm serious about wanting each person to do five hours of […]...
6. Значение идиомы lower the boom [lower the boom] {v. phr.}, {informal} To punish strictly; check orstop fully. The mayor lowered the boom on outside jobs for cityfiremen. Father lowered the boom on the girls for staying outafter midnight. Syn.: CRACK DOWN. The police lowered the boom onopen gambling....
7. Перевод слова boom Boom – бум, резкий подъем, шумиха Перевод слова Business boom – подъем деловой активности economic boom – экономический подъем postwar boom – послевоенный бум The clock Boomed out three. Часы гулко пробили три. The state’s business is Booming. Деловая активность в штате быстро растет. “What’s going on here?” he Boomed. “Что здесь творится?” – прогремел […]...
8. Microsoft Addresses Justice Department Accusations REDMOND, Wash. – Oct. 23, 1997 – In direct response to accusations made by the Department of Justice, the Microsoft Corp. announced today that it will be acquiring the federal government of the United States of America for an undisclosed sum. “It’s actually a logical extension of our planned growth”, said Microsoft chairman Bill Gates, […]...
9. Значение идиомы sonic boom [sonic boom] {n.} A loud noise and vibration in the air, made whena jet plane passes the speed of sound. Fastjet planes sometimes cause a sonic boom, which can break windows andcrack the plaster in houses below them. We thought there was anexplosion or earthquake, but it was only a sonic boom that shook thehouse....
10. Cow on Train Tracks A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. “What’s going on?” she yells out the window. “Cow on the track!” replies the conductor. Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees […]...
11. The Italian colonel had his brigade arrayed in full parade The Italian colonel had his brigade arrayed in full parade dress, proudly ready for inspection by the general. That worthy warrior strolled back and forth before the troops, and sniffed and stopped abruptly. “Colonel!” he spat out. “Yes, general!” the colonel quavered. “Your troops, your troops,” stormed the general. “They look very nice, they stand […]...
12. Значение идиомы baby boom [baby boom] {n.} A sudden increase in the birth rate. The universities were filled to capacity due to the baby boom that followed World War II....
13. The Company Commander and the 1st Sgt, were in the field The Company Commander and the 1st Sgt, were in the field. As they hit the sack for the night, the 1SG said: “Sir, look up into the sky and tell me what you see.” The CO said “I see millions of stars.” 1st Sgt.: “And what does that tell you, sir?” CO: Astronomically, it tells […]...
14. Some things never change I guess some things will never change. I hired a temp while my secretary was on maternity leave. Trying to arrive at an agreeable wage, I asked what she expected to earn. She said, “Well… the minimum I could work for is four hundred a week.” I told her I’d give her that much with […]...
15. Перевод слова orchestra Orchestra – оркестр Перевод слова To conduct an orchestra – дирижировать оркестром chamber orchestra – камерный оркестр dance orchestra – эстрадный оркестр A small Orchestra was playing. Играл небольшой оркестр. He plays violin in the school Orchestra. Он играет на скрипке в школьном оркестре. The Orchestra was playing our song. Оркестр играл нашу песню....
16. Vocals Q: How do you tell when your lead singer is at the door? A: He can’t find the key and doesn’t know when to come in. Q: What is the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and an All-Pro offensive lineman? A: Stage makeup. Q: How many lead singers does it take to change a light […]...
17. Значение идиомы seat belt [seat belt] {n.} A strong strap used to protect a person in amoving car or other vehicle by holding him in his seat. When theplane began to land, Billy and his mother fastened their seat belts. Passengers in automobiles should wear seat belts for safety....
18. Значение идиомы change of pace [change of pace] {n. phr.} A quick change in what you are doing. John studied for three hours and then read a comic book for a change of pace. The doctor told the man he needed a change of pace....
19. I trust you that you paid A man walks into a bar and has a couple of beers. Once he is donem the bartender tells him he owes $9.00. “But I paid, don’t you remember?” says the customer. “Okay,” says the bartender, “If you said you paid, you did.” The man then goes outside and tells the first person he sees […]...
20. Keeping their marriage together I know a husband and wife who have separate bedrooms, drive different cars, take separate vacations, work different shifts, have their own computers, and even have their own ISPs, separate e-mail addresses and Home Pages. They say they’re doing everything they can to keep their marriage together....
21. Перевод слова drum Drum – барабан; стучать Перевод слова To beat the drum – бить в барабан with drums beating – под барабанный бой to drum a tune – выстукивать мелодию The Drums beat all night. Барабаны били всю ночь. Ringo Starr Drummed for the Beatles. Ринго Стар был барабанщиком в “Битлз”. Her foot was Drumming on the […]...
22. Значение идиомы take a turn [take a turn] {v. phr.} To become different; change. Mary’sfever suddenly took a bad turn. The story took an odd turn. Oftenused with “for the better” or “for the worse”. In the afternoon theweather took a turn for the better. Suddenly the battle took aturn for the worse....
23. Значение идиомы all in a day’s work [all in a day’s work] or [all in the day’s work] {adj. phr.}, {informal} Unpleasant or bad but to be expected; not harder than usual; not unusual. Keeping ants away from a picnic lunch is all in the day’s work. When the car had a flat tire, Father said that it was all in a […]...
24. A woman comes home A woman comes home from the doctor and tells her husband the bad news that she has only 18 hours to live. “That’s terrible!!!” said her husband, “What would you like to do during your last hours? I’ll try to make it as memorable as possible for you.” “Well,” she said, “First, I want to […]...
25. Taking Care of a Willful Child Mrs. Mason: So, how did things go? Carl: Well… Mrs. Mason: What’s the matter? Didn’t you and Jason have a good time while I was away? Carl: It was interesting. He was a little Willful. Mrs. Mason: Yes, he can be a little Strong-willed at times, but if you just do what he wants or […]...
26. Значение идиомы tighten one’s belt [tighten one’s belt] {v. phr.} To live on less money than usual;use less food and other things. When father lost his job we had totighten our belts. Often used in the expression “tighten one’s beltanother notch”. When the husband lost his job, the Smiths had to dowithout many things, but when their savings were all […]...
27. Перевод идиомы when least expected, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: when least expected Перевод: когда кто-либо совсем не ожидает чего-либо Пример: When least expected the secretary always asks for time off from work. Секретарь всегда отпрашивается с работы, когда этого меньше всего ждешь....
28. Buying a chainsaw This fellow is looking to buy a saw to cut down some trees in his back yard. He goes to a chainsaw shop and asks about various chainsaws. The dealer tells him, “Look, I have a lot of models, but why don’t you save yourself a lot of time and aggravation and get the top-of-the-line […]...
29. Next time you think your hotel bill is too high you might want to consider this Husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston After almost twenty-four hours on the road, They’re too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back […]...
30. The Amazing Flying Dog A woman is out looking for a pet, and so she’s trying the local pet shops. She walks into a small pet shop and explains her need to the attendant. He thinks for a moment and then says, “I’ve got just the thing for you madam. I’ll just get him.” With that, he disappears into […]...
31. Holmes investigation Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they laid down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” Watson replied, “I see […]...
32. The Seven Most Important Men in a Woman’s Life The Seven Most Important Men in a Woman’s Life The Doctor – who tells her to “take off all her clothes.” The Dentist – who tells her to “open wide.” The Milkman – who asks her “do you want it in the front or the back?” The Hairdresser – who asks her “do you want […]...
33. Jon starts working in a lumber camp Jon starts working in a lumber camp. The boss says, “We work twelve hours a day, we eat two meals a day, lights out at ten-thirty, and you can put your dick in the barrel over there for a blow job any day but Thursday.” Jon says, “Why not Thursday?” The boss says, “Because Thursday […]...
34. What does it tell you? Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they bunked down for the night and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” Watson replied, “I see millions […]...
35. Значение идиомы all hours [all hours] {n. phr.}, {informal} Late or irregular times. The boy’s mother said he must stop coming home for meals at all hours. He stayed up till all hours of the night to finish his school work....
36. British enthusiasm about cars – Британская страсть к автомобилям The British are enthusiastic about mobility. They regard the opportunity to travel far, and frequently as a right. Some commuters spend up to two or three hours each day getting to work in London or some other big city and back home to their suburban or country homes in the evening. Most people do not […]...
37. A young girl sees her father in the shower A young girl sees her father in the shower and asks what his testicles are. “Those are the Apples of the Tree of Life,” he tells her, by way of poetic concealment. She tells this to her mother, who replies, “Did he say anything about that dead branch they’re hanging on?”...
38. Packing Clothes for a Trip Nick: Aren’t you done Packing yet? We need to leave for the airport in 15 minutes. Mariah: I’m almost done. I just need to finish packing my Garment bag. Nick: You’re bringing a garment bag? What for? Mariah: For my dresses, of course. I don’t want them to get Wrinkles in them. I have a […]...
39. Перевод слова turn Turn – поворачивать, крутить, менять(ся); очередь Перевод слова Turn your eyes this way – посмотрите в эту сторону to turn a wheel – вращать колесо manners turn with time – с временами меняются и нравы in its turn – в свою очередь The car Turned over. Машина перевернулась. Turn down the radio. Сделай потише радио. […]...
40. The daughter of an Indian chief visits his doctor The daughter of an Indian chief visits his doctor. She tells the doctor “Big Chief no fart.” The doctor tells her to give him three pills a day. The girl comes back the next day and tells the doctor, “Big Chief no fart.” The doctor then gets really worried and tells her to give him […]...