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Humor relating to Iraq

The problem with the Iraqi army is that they were using Russian defense tactics:

1. Engage the enemy.

2. Draw him into your territory.

3. Wait until winter sets in.

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The Iraqi verions of the classic army regulations can be summarized as:

If it doesn’t move, hide behind it.

If it does move, surrender to it.

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Iraqi Air Force motto:

I came I saw Iran



My future profession teacher.
Fashion топик.

Related topics:

  1. Перевод слова territoryTerritory — территория, местность Перевод слова Mandated territory — подмандатная территория neutral territory — нейтральная территория a raid into enemy territory — внезапное нападение на вражескую территорию This Territory is rapidly populating. Эта территория быстро заселяется. They were entering hostile Territory. Они входили на вражескую территорию. It was a pretext to occupy more Territory. Это ... Читать далее...
  2. Q & A Iraqi War JokesQ: What’s the national bird of Iraq? A: DUCK! — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — Q: What’s the fastest way to ... Читать далее...
  3. Iraqi vs. AmericanAverage Iraqi Has visited the convergence of the Tigris and Euphrates, cradle of the ancient civilization founded by his ancestors Average American Once got really sick on the Wild Mouse ride at Six Flags theme park Average Iraqi Willing to participate in Holy War for his nation Average American Willing to participate in People’s Choice ... Читать далее...
  4. Civil War Era humorCivil War Era Humor The following are supposedly true definitions, stories, and terms relating to the Civil War. BIGGEST MAN… The biggest man in the Union Army was Capt. David Van Buskirk of the 27th Indiana Regiment who stood 6 feet 11 inches and weighed 380 pounds. He was captured in 1862 and was sent ... Читать далее...
  5. Remember during warsThings to Remember During a War 1. The only things more accurate than enemy fire is friendly fire. 2. Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo. 3. Teamwork is essential. It gives them more targets to shoot at. 4. No inspection-ready unit ever passed combat. 5. No combat-ready unit ever passed inspection. ... Читать далее...
  6. Famous russian generals — Известные русские генералыAll Russian people know these names, Alexander Suvorov and Michael Kutuzov. They are two famous generals. Alexander Vasilyevich Suvorov was born in 1729. He was a noble, honest man, devoted to his country and his people. Suvorov took part in many wars. He had a lot of victories because he knew army life very well. ... Читать далее...
  7. Humor about the Stupid IrishHiggins lived in Staten Island, New York, and worked in Manhattan. He had to take the ferryboat home every night. One evening, he got down to the ferry and found there was a wait for the next boat, So Higgins decided to stop at a nearby tavern. Before long he was feeling no pain. When ... Читать далее...
  8. Перевод слова engageEngage — нанимать, участвовать, привлекать Перевод слова He engaged Smith as his lawyer on — нанял Смита в качестве адвоката to engage in a contest — участвовать в соревновании to engage all eyes — обратить на себя всеобщее внимание The toy didn’t Engage her interest for long. Игрушка не привлекла ее внимания на долго. Only ... Читать далее...
  9. Значение идиомы put off[put off] {v.} 1. {informal} To cause confusion in; embarrass;displease. I was rather put off by the shamelessness of hisproposal. The man’s slovenliness put me off. 2. To wait and have at a later time; postpone. They put off the picnicbecause of the rain. 3. To make wait; turn aside. Whenhe asked her to name ... Читать далее...
  10. Значение идиомы drop back[drop back] {v.} To move or step backwards; retreat. The soldiers dropped back before the enemy’s attack. The quarterback dropped back to pass the football. Compare: DRAW BACK, FADE BACK, FALL BACK....
  11. Значение идиомы draw fire[draw fire] {v. phr.} 1. To attract or provoke shooting; be a target. The general’s white horse drew the enemy’s fire. 2. To bring criticism or argument; make people say bad things about you. Having the newest car in your group is sure to draw fire....
  12. Saddam HUSSEIN of Iraq wanted a specialSaddam HUSSEIN of Iraq wanted a special postage stamp issued, with his picture on it. He so instructed his Postmaster General, stressing that it should be of international quality. The stamps were duly released of the stamp, he began hearing complaints that the stamp was not sticking properly, and become furious. He called the chief ... Читать далее...
  13. Перевод слова defenseDefense — защита Перевод слова Defense mechanism — защитный механизм defense alliance — оборонительный альянс defense pact — договор о защите They mounted a good Defense. Они соорудили хорошую защиту. We need to improve our Defenses. Мы должны улучшить нашу оборону. The Defense called only one witness. Защита вызвала только одного свидетеля. Интересные факты Tower ... Читать далее...
  14. Перевод слова enemyEnemy — враг Перевод слова To be sworn enemies — быть заклятыми врагами he is an enemy of our cause — он враг нашего дела he is no enemy to wine — шутл. он не прочь выпить The Enemy showed no mercy. Враги были беспощадны. The Enemy was in full flight. Враг поспешно отступал. They ... Читать далее...
  15. Перевод слова drawDraw — рисовать, чертить; привлекать; натягивать Перевод слова To draw a boundary — провести границу to draw a bow — натягивать лук the play continues to draw — пьеса все еще пользуется успехом Can you Draw me a map of how to get there? Можете ли вы нарисовать мне карту, как туда добраться? How many ... Читать далее...
  16. Clean Ireland HumorAn English man and an Irish man are driving head on, at night, on a twisty, dark road. Both are driving to fast for the conditions and collide on a sharp bend in the road. To the amazement of both, they are unscathed, though their cars are both destroyed. In celebration of their luck, both ... Читать далее...
  17. Getting Around RegulationsMichael: I have some Qualms about how we’re handling these accounts. Leona: What do you mean? Michael: There are strict Regulations governing what we can and cannot do, and I think we’re Violating those regulations. Leona: Listen, it’s a matter of Interpretation. We’re not Flouting any regulations. We’re just not Following the letter of the ... Читать далее...
  18. Перевод слова regulationRegulation — регулирование, упорядочивание, нормы Перевод слова Regulation of affairs — упорядочение дел regulation of prices — регулирование цен customs regulations — таможенные инструкции hospital regulations — больничный распорядок We obeyed the Regulation that no cars be [should be] parked there. Мы подчинились указанию, что стоянка автомобилей здесь запрещена. All companies must comply with the ... Читать далее...
  19. Значение идиомы give ground[give ground] {v. phr.} To go backward under attack; move back;retreat. After fighting for a while the troops slowly began to giveground. Although they were outnumbered by the enemy, the menrefused to give ground. Compare: DRAW BACK, DROP BACK, LOSE GROUND. Contrast: HOLD ONE’S GROUND, STAND OFF, STAND ONE’S GROUND, STAND PAT, STAVE OFF....
  20. How Chuko Liang Used A Lute To Single-Handedly Defeat An Army Of 150,000During China’s Three Kingdoms period there was a brilliant general and master strategist of Shu Han named Chuko «Sleeping Dragon» Liang. During the War of the Three Kingdoms, he had sent a majority of his soldiers many miles away before he was alerted that an opposing army of 150,000 was headed towards the small town ... Читать далее...
  21. Значение идиомы zone defense[zone defense] {n.} A defense in a sport in which each player has to defend a certain area. Thecoach taught his team a zone defense because he thought his playersweren’t fast enough to defend against individual opponents....
  22. Learning Self-DefenseTeacher: Welcome, everybody, to this Self-defense class. Today, you’ll learn how To size up a situation and how to tell the difference between a Harmless situation and a Threatening one. You’ll also begin to learn some Hand-to-hand combat moves To defend yourselves. Amy: Oh, good. I can’t wait to learn some Martial arts so I ... Читать далее...
  23. Перевод слова summarizeSummarize — суммировать, резюмировать, подводить итог Перевод слова Summarize instruction — команда суммирования summarize briefly — кратко обобщить summarize in the table — сводить в таблицу She Summarized the plot for the class. Она вкратце изложила классу сюжет произведения. To Summarize, we need better schools. Подводя итог вышесказанному, нам нужны школы лучше. He Summarized by ... Читать далее...
  24. There is a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the MeadowlandsThere’s a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the Meadowlands, a guy from the NAVY was driving from Annapolis to the Meadowlands, and an Air Force guy who’s driving from McGwire in South Jerz to the Meadowlands just to watch the Jets. In the middle of the night with no other cars on ... Читать далее...
  25. Murphy’s Combat LawsMurphy’s Laws Of Combat Operations Friendly fire — isn’t. Recoilless rifles — aren’t. Suppressive fires — won’t. You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note. A sucking chest wound is Nature’s way of telling you to slow down. If it’s stupid but it works, it isn’t stupid. Try to look unimportant; the enemy ... Читать далее...
  26. A lusty camelA man rented a camel to make a trip to an important customer out in the desert. There was only one camel available, and it had one little problem, the guy told him. Periodically, this camel would stop and refuse to move until somebody beat it off. The man is desperate, so he decides he ... Читать далее...
  27. Перевод слова armyArmy — армия Перевод слова Army brass — командующий армией to organize an army — создать армию to raise an army — собрать армию I was an Army brat. Я была армия, брат. The Army was disranked. Армия была дезорганизована. The Army surged forward Армия рванулась вперед. Интересные факты In the Army Now — семнадцатый ... Читать далее...
  28. Значение идиомы draw a line[draw a line] or [draw the line] {v. phr.} 1. To think of as different. The law in this country draws a line between murder and man slaughter. Can you draw the line between a lie and a fib? 2. To set a limit to what will be done; say something cannot be done. We ... Читать далее...
  29. Day of the Defender of Fatherland — День защитника отечестваMany Russians observe February 23 as men’s day because military service is obligatory for most men in Russia. Women often give presents and postcards to their male relatives, including those who never served in the military. On a workday before or after the holiday, many women also congratulate their male colleagues and schoolboys may receive ... Читать далее...
  30. Submarine humor & funSubmarines are safer than airplanes. Proof in the fact is there are more airplanes in the water than submarines in the air! — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — ... Читать далее...
  31. Humor about the IrishmenThere is a story about the Irishman who drowned while he was digging a grave for a friend. He’d wanted to be buried at sea. «Well, Mrs. O’Connor, so you want a divorce?» the solicitor questioned his client. «Tell me about it. Do you have a grudge?» «Oh, no,» replied Mrs. O’Connor. «Shure now, we ... Читать далее...
  32. Humor about St. Patrick’s DayPaddy was tooling along the road one fine day when the local policeman, a friend of his, pulled him over. «What’s wrong, Seamus?» Paddy asked. «Well didn’t ya know, Paddy, that your wife fell out of the car about five miles back?» said Seamus. «Ah, praise the Almighty!» Paddy replied with relief. «I thought I’d ... Читать далее...
  33. Humor about LeprechaunsAn aging man lived alone in Ireland. His only son was in Long Kesh Prison, and he didn’t know anyone who would spade up his potato garden. The old man wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, «For HEAVENS SAKE, don’t dig up that garden, that’s where I buried the GUNS!!!!!» At ... Читать далее...
  34. Humor about Ireland 2Barty and Dunny met in a pub and discussed the illness of a friend named Hogan. «Poor Micheal Hogan! Faith, I’m afraid he’s goin’ to die.» «Shure, an’ why would he be dyin’?» asked the other. «Ah, he’s gotten so thin. You’re thin enough, and I’m thin — but by my soul, Micheal Hogan is ... Читать далее...
  35. Humor about the IrishAn Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman each order a Guiness in a pub. Upon being served, each finds a fly in their beer. Repulsed, the Englishman sends his back. The Scotsman gently flicks the fly out of his mug and begins drinking. The Irishman, carefully lifts the fly up by its wings and screams, ... Читать далее...
  36. Перевод слова winterWinter — зима, зимний Перевод слова A bla winter day — унылый зимний день winter blizzard — зимняя вьюга dead of winter — глубокая зима I need a new Winter coat. Мне нужно новое зимнее пальто. Winter is almost upon us. Зима уже близко. It was a long, cold Winter. Это была длинная, холодная зима....
  37. Перевод слова waitWait — ждать, дожидаться, откладывать Перевод слова To wait orders — ждать распоряжений wait until he comes — дождитесь его прихода that work will have to wait — эту работу придется отложить Hey, Wait a minute! Эй, подождите минутку! Wait for the rain to pass. Подожди, пока пройдет дождь. I’ll Wait in the car. Я ... Читать далее...
  38. Fighting Irish HumorMcNally was taking his first plane ride, flying over the Rocky Mountains. The stewardess handed him a piece of chewing gum. «It’s to keep your ears from popping at high altitudes,» she explains. When the plane landed McNally rushed up to her. «Miss,» he said, «I’m meetin’ me wife right away. How do I get ... Читать далее...
  39. Clean Humor about the IrishIt seems three Irishmen, Sean, Michael and Tim, passed over at the same time. Upon encountering the Pearly Gates, they were met by ST. Patrick himself, and he addressed the boys thusly: «Lads, I’m here to welcome you to heaven where you will spend eternity. Just remember one thing, when you go through these gates, ... Читать далее...
  40. Clean St. Patrick’s Day HumorIn hearing an Irish case of assault and battery, counsel, in cross examining one of the witnesses, asked him what they had the first place they stopped at. «Four glasses of ale,» was the reply. «Next?» «Two glasses of whiskey.» «Next?» «One glass of brandy.» «Next?» «A fight.» In West Kerry, the wife commented, «When ... Читать далее...

Humor relating to Iraq