Humor relating to Iraq

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1. There is a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the Meadowlands There’s a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the Meadowlands, a guy from the NAVY was driving from Annapolis to the Meadowlands, and an Air Force guy who’s driving from McGwire in South Jerz to the Meadowlands just to watch the Jets. In the middle of the night with no other cars on […]...
2. Перевод слова surrender Surrender – капитуляция, сдача, сдаваться Перевод слова Surrender at discretion – безоговорочная капитуляция the surrender of a fort – сдача крепости I surrender! – я сдаюсь! The terrorists were given ten minutes to Surrender. Террористам дали десять минут, на то чтобы сдаться. It was shameful of them to Surrender. С их стороны было позором сдаться. […]...
3. The Army Airborne major was used to harassment The Army Airborne major was used to harassment from Air Force fliers about crazy Army paratroopers jumping out of perfectly good aircraft. “Obviously the Air Force knows there’s no such thing as a ‘perfectly good aircraft,'” the irritated officer finally countered one afternoon, “because they pay you bastards four times as much to stay in […]...
4. Iraqi vs. American Average Iraqi Has visited the convergence of the Tigris and Euphrates, cradle of the ancient civilization founded by his ancestors Average American Once got really sick on the Wild Mouse ride at Six Flags theme park Average Iraqi Willing to participate in Holy War for his nation Average American Willing to participate in People’s Choice […]...
5. Q & A Iraqi War Jokes Q: What’s the national bird of Iraq? A: DUCK! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Q: What’s the fastest way to […]...
6. Humor about the Stupid Irish Higgins lived in Staten Island, New York, and worked in Manhattan. He had to take the ferryboat home every night. One evening, he got down to the ferry and found there was a wait for the next boat, So Higgins decided to stop at a nearby tavern. Before long he was feeling no pain. When […]...
7. Значение идиомы lay down one’s arms [lay down one’s arms] {v. phr.} To cease fighting; surrender. The Civil War ended when the Confederate army finally laid down itsarms....
8. Civil War Era humor Civil War Era Humor The following are supposedly true definitions, stories, and terms relating to the Civil War. BIGGEST MAN… The biggest man in the Union Army was Capt. David Van Buskirk of the 27th Indiana Regiment who stood 6 feet 11 inches and weighed 380 pounds. He was captured in 1862 and was sent […]...
9. Saddam HUSSEIN of Iraq wanted a special Saddam HUSSEIN of Iraq wanted a special postage stamp issued, with his picture on it. He so instructed his Postmaster General, stressing that it should be of international quality. The stamps were duly released of the stamp, he began hearing complaints that the stamp was not sticking properly, and become furious. He called the chief […]...
10. Перевод слова territory Territory – территория, местность Перевод слова Mandated territory – подмандатная территория neutral territory – нейтральная территория a raid into enemy territory – внезапное нападение на вражескую территорию This Territory is rapidly populating. Эта территория быстро заселяется. They were entering hostile Territory. Они входили на вражескую территорию. It was a pretext to occupy more Territory. Это […]...
11. Значение идиомы lay for [lay for] {v.}, {informal} To hide and wait for in order to catchor attack; to lie in wait for. The bandits laid for him along theroad. I knew he had the marks for the exam, so I was laying forhim outside his office....
12. Clean Ireland Humor An English man and an Irish man are driving head on, at night, on a twisty, dark road. Both are driving to fast for the conditions and collide on a sharp bend in the road. To the amazement of both, they are unscathed, though their cars are both destroyed. In celebration of their luck, both […]...
13. Перевод слова regulation Regulation – регулирование, упорядочивание, нормы Перевод слова Regulation of affairs – упорядочение дел regulation of prices – регулирование цен customs regulations – таможенные инструкции hospital regulations – больничный распорядок We obeyed the Regulation that no cars be [should be] parked there. Мы подчинились указанию, что стоянка автомобилей здесь запрещена. All companies must comply with the […]...
14. Getting Around Regulations Michael: I have some Qualms about how we’re handling these accounts. Leona: What do you mean? Michael: There are strict Regulations governing what we can and cannot do, and I think we’re Violating those regulations. Leona: Listen, it’s a matter of Interpretation. We’re not Flouting any regulations. We’re just not Following the letter of the […]...
15. Перевод слова summarize Summarize – суммировать, резюмировать, подводить итог Перевод слова Summarize instruction – команда суммирования summarize briefly – кратко обобщить summarize in the table – сводить в таблицу She Summarized the plot for the class. Она вкратце изложила классу сюжет произведения. To Summarize, we need better schools. Подводя итог вышесказанному, нам нужны школы лучше. He Summarized by […]...
16. Перевод слова force Force – сила, мощь; заставлять, принуждать Перевод слова With all one’s force – изо всех сил the force of circumstances – сила обстоятельств to force a confession – вынудить признание to force an entry – ворваться, вломиться Peace cannot be imposed by Force. Мир не может быть навязан силой. In both these two reasons there […]...
17. Значение идиомы hide or hair [hide or hair] or [hide nor hair] {n. phr.}, {informal} A sign ortrace of someone that is gone or lost; any sign at all of somethingmissing. Usually used in negative or interrogative sentence. Tommyleft the house this morning and I haven’t seen hide or hair of himsince. A button fell off my coat and I […]...
18. A lusty camel A man rented a camel to make a trip to an important customer out in the desert. There was only one camel available, and it had one little problem, the guy told him. Periodically, this camel would stop and refuse to move until somebody beat it off. The man is desperate, so he decides he […]...
19. Перевод слова army Army – армия Перевод слова Army brass – командующий армией to organize an army – создать армию to raise an army – собрать армию I was an Army brat. Я была армия, брат. The Army was disranked. Армия была дезорганизована. The Army surged forward Армия рванулась вперед. Интересные факты In the Army Now – семнадцатый […]...
20. Перевод слова air force Air force – воздушные войска Перевод слова Air force one – президентский самолет air force unit – авиачасть air force base – авиационная база ВВС offensive air force – наступательные силы и средства ВВС military air forces – военно-воздушные силы; военная авиация; ВВС Происхождение слова air force Оба слова фразы имеют самостоятельное значение:...
21. US Armed Forces Из топика Вооруженные силы США вы узнаете о структуре американской армии, как государство обеспечивает своих военнослужащих, почему женщины стремятся наравне с мужчинами пройти военную службу и чем так привлекательна служба в армии для граждан США. The Armed Forces of the USA include the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marine Corps and Coast Guard. The regular components […]...
22. Submarine humor & fun Submarines are safer than airplanes. Proof in the fact is there are more airplanes in the water than submarines in the air! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – […]...
23. Humor about the Irish An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman each order a Guiness in a pub. Upon being served, each finds a fly in their beer. Repulsed, the Englishman sends his back. The Scotsman gently flicks the fly out of his mug and begins drinking. The Irishman, carefully lifts the fly up by its wings and screams, […]...
24. Перевод слова winter Winter – зима, зимний Перевод слова A bla winter day – унылый зимний день winter blizzard – зимняя вьюга dead of winter – глубокая зима I need a new Winter coat. Мне нужно новое зимнее пальто. Winter is almost upon us. Зима уже близко. It was a long, cold Winter. Это была длинная, холодная зима....
25. Humor about Ireland 2 Barty and Dunny met in a pub and discussed the illness of a friend named Hogan. “Poor Micheal Hogan! Faith, I’m afraid he’s goin’ to die.” “Shure, an’ why would he be dyin’?” asked the other. “Ah, he’s gotten so thin. You’re thin enough, and I’m thin – but by my soul, Micheal Hogan is […]...
26. Humor about Leprechauns An aging man lived alone in Ireland. His only son was in Long Kesh Prison, and he didn’t know anyone who would spade up his potato garden. The old man wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, “For HEAVENS SAKE, don’t dig up that garden, that’s where I buried the GUNS!!!!!” At […]...
27. Humor about St. Patrick’s Day Paddy was tooling along the road one fine day when the local policeman, a friend of his, pulled him over. “What’s wrong, Seamus?” Paddy asked. “Well didn’t ya know, Paddy, that your wife fell out of the car about five miles back?” said Seamus. “Ah, praise the Almighty!” Paddy replied with relief. “I thought I’d […]...
28. Перевод слова hide Hide – прятать(ся), скрывать(ся) Перевод слова Hide yourself! – прячься! she hid her face in her hands – она закрыла лицо руками I have nothing to hide – мне нечего скрывать Muslim women Hide their faces. Мусульманские женщины скрывают свои лица. They Hid me from the police in their attic. Они спрятали меня от полиции […]...
29. Humor about the Irishmen There is a story about the Irishman who drowned while he was digging a grave for a friend. He’d wanted to be buried at sea. “Well, Mrs. O’Connor, so you want a divorce?” the solicitor questioned his client. “Tell me about it. Do you have a grudge?” “Oh, no,” replied Mrs. O’Connor. “Shure now, we […]...
30. Humor about Dumb Irishmen The local District Judge had given the defendant a lecture on the evils of drink. But in view of the fact that this was the first time the man had been drunk and incapable, the case was dismissed on payment of ten shillings costs. “Now don’t let me ever see your face again,” said the […]...
31. Funny Humor about the Irish This is a true story of the late Irish author Brendan Behan who one night collapsed in a diabetic coma in a Dublin street. It was at a time when he was at the height of his drunken notoriety and passes-by naturally thought he was dead drunk. They took him to the nearby surgery of […]...
32. Amusing Humor about the Irish O’Toole volunteered to take care of his numerous children so that Mom could have an evening out. At bedtime he sent the youngsters upstairs to bed and settled down to read. One child kept creeping down the stairs, but O’Toole kept sending him back up. At 10 o’clock the doorbell rang. It was the next […]...
33. Great School Humor “I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.” – Groucho Marx 1890-1977 – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – […]...
34. Humor about Drunk Irishmen A man was on a walking holiday in Ireland. He became thirsty so decided to ask at a home for something to drink. The lady of the house invited him in and served him a bowl of soup by the fire. There was a wee pig running around the kitchen, running up to the visitor […]...
35. Humor about Irish Pubs (Setting the scene, Ballymun outside of Dublin has a reputation as a rough spot) Fifteen minutes into Aer Lingus Flight EI109 from Madrid to Dublin the Plane encounters a serious problem with the Instrument landing systems. In a Fit of Panic, Paddy the Pilot turns to his co-Pilot and says. “Jazus Mick…Well have to turn […]...
36. Clean Humor about the Irish It seems three Irishmen, Sean, Michael and Tim, passed over at the same time. Upon encountering the Pearly Gates, they were met by ST. Patrick himself, and he addressed the boys thusly: “Lads, I’m here to welcome you to heaven where you will spend eternity. Just remember one thing, when you go through these gates, […]...
37. Humor about Irish Marriages Some years ago, Michael J. Flanagan, a successful New York contractor, was standing on the deck of the Staten Island Ferry when a car got loose and sent him into the river where he drowned. The following Sunday his widow, all decked out in deepest black, was standing on the church steps after Mass, receiving […]...
38. Irish Religion Humor Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, “Do you want to go to heaven?” The man said, “I do Father.” The priest said, “Then stand over there against the wall.” Then the priest asked the second man, “Do you want to got to heaven?” “Certainly, Father,” […]...
39. Fighting Irish Humor McNally was taking his first plane ride, flying over the Rocky Mountains. The stewardess handed him a piece of chewing gum. “It’s to keep your ears from popping at high altitudes,” she explains. When the plane landed McNally rushed up to her. “Miss,” he said, “I’m meetin’ me wife right away. How do I get […]...
40. Humor about Drunk Irishmen 2 Casey McCarthy had just arrived in New York City and was amazed at the enormity of everything. Having drunk a pint or two on the flight over, he sorely needed to relieve himself. The first door he entered happened to be a large health club, and he asked the clerk if he might use the […]...