Gift for a birthday

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1. My BirthdayI was born on the 22nd of March. Birthday is a very remarkable day for me. It is spring and the weather is fine. In the morning my parents come to my room to wake me singing «Happy Birthday, dear Andy». They give me the presents. I like to get them very much. Most people ... Читать далее...
2. A Birthday PartyMy sister called me at the Last minute to help her with my nephew’s birthday party. She was feeling really sick and couldn’t get out of bed. I’d never given a children’s party before, but how hard could it be? Well, I found out. First, I had to go to the Party supply store To ... Читать далее...
3. A young kid’s in a shipwreck and he winds up strandedA young kid’s in a shipwreck and he winds up stranded on a tropical island. For twenty years he never sees another human being. Then one day a beautiful girl with long blond hair, her clothes half-ripped off, washes up on a piece of driftwood. He explains to her how he existed for twenty years, ... Читать далее...
4. Мой день рождения/ My BirthdayНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык My Birthday Мой день рождения My name is Ekaterina. I’m twelve years old. I have one main and particular day in the year. It’s my birthday. When I woke up in the morning I knew that this day would be the most memorable in the year. I can ... Читать далее...
5. For his birthday, Little Johnny asked for a 10 speed bicycleFor his birthday, Little Johnny asked for a 10 speed bicycle. His father said, «Son, we’d love to give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $80,000 and your mother just lost her job. There’s no way we can afford it.» The next day the father saw Little Johnny heading out the front ... Читать далее...
6. Перевод слова birthdayBirthday — день рождения Перевод слова On a birthday — в день рождения on her tenth birthday — в день ее десятилетия birthday present — подарок ко дню рождения Happy Birthday! С днем рождения! Today is my Birthday! Сегодня мой день рождения! Примеры из жизни «Happy Birthday to You» (С днем рожденья тебя) — песня-поздравление ... Читать далее...
7. О моем Дне рождения (My birthday)My birthday is one of my favourite holidays. It is a wonderful chance to spend the time with your family and friends, with the people who really love you and remember you. On this day you are in the centre of their attention and you hear lots of warm and hearty words and pleasant compliments. ... Читать далее...
8. A small mixupA florist received an outraged telephone call from a man who had moved his restaurant to a new spot in town. The restaurant owner had been sent a funeral wreath along with a card that read: SINCEREST SYMPATHIES. The florist realized that he must have mixed up two orders and shuddered to think of the ... Читать далее...
9. For his wife’s birthday party, a doctor ordered a cakeFor his wife’s birthday party, a doctor ordered a cake with this inscription: «You are not getting older, You are just getting better.» When asked how he wanted it arranged, he said, «Just put ‘You are not getting older’ at the top, and ‘You are just getting better’ at the bottom.» It wasn’t until the ... Читать далее...
10. Curiosity Sings ‘Happy Birthday’ to Itself On MarsNASA scientists have commanded one of Curiosity’s instruments to hum out the tune of «Happy Birthday» to commemorate the rover’s first year on the Martian surface. Curiosity is no stranger to «firsts.» The one-ton rover is the first to laser-blast a Mars rock; it was also the first to carry out X-ray diffraction analysis on ... Читать далее...
11. A 70-year-old man has never been marriedA 70-year-old man has never been married. One day he meets a beautiful 17-year-old girl, and it is love at first sight. They get married and go to Florida for their honeymoon. When they get back, his friend says to him, «So, tell me, how was it?» «Oh, it was beautiful,» says the man. «The ... Читать далее...
12. Birthday — День РожденияSome days ago I celebrated my birthday. I always wait for it with great pleasure. It’s a pity that birthdays come only once a year. They are of great fun for children. I was born on the 15th of May 1987. So, according to Zodiac signs I am Taurus. This is a rather positive sign. ... Читать далее...
13. My Birthday — Мой день рождения (1)Birthday is a very wonderful day. Everybody likes to celebrate it. It is a good opportunity to spend time with friends, parents, relatives. I was born on the 10th of January. In the morning on my birthday my parents lay the presents near my bed. So the first thing I see when I open my ... Читать далее...
14. My Birthday — Мой день рождения (2)I was born on the 5th of December. This year on my birthday I woke up early because I was very excited. When I got up, my parents wished me happy birthday and gave me their presents. They gave me a DVD-disc of my favorite film and a beautiful pullover. I was very happy to ... Читать далее...
15. The Young Mans Big MouthThe Young Man’s Big Mouth A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. «Well,» he said, «I’ve been seeing this girl for a while and she’s really hot. I want the condoms ... Читать далее...
16. A peculiar birthday cardThis blonde goes into the drugstore looking for a birthday card. She asks the clerk if they have any new and different cards — something unusual. The clerk points her to a new card just in that day — «Happy Birthday to the Boy who Popped My Cherry.» The blonde replied, «How cool! I’ll take ... Читать далее...
17. An amazing forebodingFellow 1 : «Now my grandfather, he knew the exact day of the year that he was going to die. It was the right year too. Not only that, but he knew what time he would die that day, and he was right about that too.» Fellow 2 : «Wow, that’s Incredible. How did he ... Читать далее...
18. The Gift of the Magi на английском языке писателя O. HenryOne dollar and eighty-seven cents. That was all. And sixty cents of it was in pennies. Pennies saved one and two at a time by bulldozing the grocer and the vegetable man and the butcher until one’s cheeks burned with the silent imputation of parsimony that such close dealing implied. Three times Della counted it. ... Читать далее...
19. A married man thought he would give his wife a birthday surpriseA married man thought he would give his wife a birthday surprise by buying her a bra. He entered a ladies shop rather intimidated, but the girls took charge to help him. «What color?» they asked. He settled for white. «How much does it cost?» he asked. «Twenty dollars.» «Very good,» he thought. All that ... Читать далее...
20. The wealthy, high-society mother of a 17-year-old girlThe wealthy, high-society mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant, and adversely impact the family’s status, she consulted the family doctor. The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful, and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. ... Читать далее...
21. Значение идиомы make love[make love] {v. phr.} 1. To be warm, loving, and tender towardsomeone of the opposite sex; try to get him or her to love you too. There was moonlight on the roses and he made love to her in the porchswing. 2. To have sexual relations with. It is rumoredthat Alfred makes love to every ... Читать далее...
22. A little girl was playing up a tree near a churchA little girl was playing up a tree near a church. The priest was taking a walk when he happened to look up the tree and saw the little girl. She had no panties on. He called her down and gave her money to buy a pair of panties. The girl was so happy and ... Читать далее...
23. A LIGHTER LOOK AT MARRIAGEGetting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, «Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?» The other replied, ... Читать далее...
24. My Birthday — Мой день рождения (3)I was born on the 12th of March. Birthday is a very remarkable day for me. March is a spring month and usually the weather is warm. In the morning my parents come to my place and say: «Happy Birthday!» They give me presents. I enjoy getting them. Most people have a birthday party on ... Читать далее...
25. Jesus has risenEaster is approaching. Father O’Maley checks estimates for the flower decoration of the altar. The catholic florist — $ 300. «Too expensive» moans the priest. The protestant florist — $ 250, «No, it would not be right to buy at another Christian believer, especially as the price difference is rather small.» But lo! Solly Goldberg ... Читать далее...
26. Marriage quotes 02Married life is full of excitement and frustration: * In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. * In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. * In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. It is true that love is blind but marriage ... Читать далее...
27. Five fingersA beautiful young woman marries this seventy year old bloke for his money. On their wedding night she joyfully jumps into bed and he holds up five fingers. «Oh darling!» she squeals with delight, Does that mean five times?» «No», says the old fellow, «it means that you can pick one out.»...
28. Corporate Gift-GivingMichelle: Why did I get Stuck with buying Corporate gifts for our clients this year? Just because I’m a woman doesn’t mean I’m good at buying gifts. Rafiq: It’s not because you’re a woman. It’s because you’re the most Junior employee of the company. I had the job three years ago when I started working ... Читать далее...
29. Finding the Perfect GiftFae: Help! I still need to buy a Gift for my mother and I can’t seem to think of the perfect Present, something that’ll really Knock her socks off. Pablo: Why don’t you just get her a Gift certificate or a Gift card? That way, she can Pick out her own gift. Fae: Oh, she ... Читать далее...
30. Finding the Perfect GiftFae: Help! I still need to buy a Gift for my mother and I can’t seem to think of the perfect Present, something that’ll really Knock her socks off. Pablo: Why don’t you just get her a Gift certificate or a Gift card? That way, she can Pick out her own gift. Fae: Oh, she ... Читать далее...
31. A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wifeA 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one Friday evening and read’s: Dear Wife (that’s what he called her) I am 54 and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy 18 year old secretary. When he arrived at the ... Читать далее...
32. A fellow picked up a girl in a bar and took her home with himA fellow picked up a girl in a bar and took her home with him. After some preliminary drinks and talk, they got undressed, climbed into bed and generally got organized for a leg over. After a few minutes, the girl started laughing. The fellow asked her what she found so amusing. «Your organ,» she ... Читать далее...
33. Twenty men die and go to heavenTwenty men die and go to heaven. When they arrive they are told to seperate into two lines. One for all the husbands that are under their wives control and they other for those that control their wives. After the men seperate one of the angels notices that their are nineteen men in the first ... Читать далее...
34. A couple have not been getting along for yearsA couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, «I’ll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday.» Well, you can imagine her disappointment. The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this time he doesn’t get her anything. She says, «Why didn’t you get me a birthday present!?» ... Читать далее...
35. One afternoon this young girl knocked on the door of her neighborOne afternoon this young girl knocked on the door of her neighbor, to chit chat the afternoon away. She walked in and said my god you look so depressed. She said you bet I am, look what my damm husband sent me…six dozen roses. Now you know what that means? I’m going to have to ... Читать далее...
36. An eye-doctor was having his 40th birthdayAn eye-doctor was having his 40th birthday, and gathered lots of friends and family in his house. His wife had made him a surprise cake, and led her husband blindfolded to a table where the cake was placed. Eagerly the doctor removed and looked down on the cake, and immediately burst into a crazed laughter, ... Читать далее...
37. The blind daters had really hit it off andThe blind daters had really hit it off and, at the end of the evening as they were beginning to undress each other in his apartment, the fellow said, «Before we go any further, Charlene, tell me — do you have any special fetishes that I should take into account in bed?» «As a matter ... Читать далее...
38. A new way to loose weightA fellow was reading the paper one day lamenting the fact that his doctor has ordered him to lose 75 pounds. Next thing he sees is an advertisement for a guaranteed weight loss program. Guaranteed like heck, he thinks to himself. But lets see what they think they can do. He calls them on the ... Читать далее...
39. My Mother’s Birthday — День рождения моей мамыLast month my mother had her birthday. My father decided to throw a surprise party for her. Two weeks, before the event he booked a room in my mother’s favourite cafe. And then my father began to invite our relatives and friends. Of course, that was a great secret. It was sometimes difficult to keep ... Читать далее...
40. A man escapes from prisonA man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of ... Читать далее...