A peculiar birthday card

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1. Значение идиомы card [card] See: CREDIT CARD, FLASH CARD, HOUSE OF CARDS, IN THE CARDS or ON THE CARDS, LAY ONE’S CARDS ON THE TABLE, PLAY ONE’S CARDS RIGHT, PUT ONE’S CARDS ON THE TABLE, STACK THE CARDS, TRUMP CARD....
2. Wrong card At the card shop: A woman was spending a long time looking at the cards, finally shaking her head, “No.” A clerk came over and asked, “May I help you?” “I don’t know,” said the woman. “Do you have any ‘Sorry I laughed at your dick’ cards?”...
3. Перевод слова card Card – карточка, пластиковая карта, открытка, визитка Перевод слова Credit card – кредитная карта greeting card – поздравительная открытка postal card – почтовая карточка, открытка That’s the Card. Вот это именно то, что нужно. Let’s play Cards. Давайте играть в карты. Can I pay by credit Card? Могу ли я заплатить кредитной картой?...
4. Перевод слова birthday Birthday – день рождения Перевод слова On a birthday – в день рождения on her tenth birthday – в день ее десятилетия birthday present – подарок ко дню рождения Happy Birthday! С днем рождения! Today is my Birthday! Сегодня мой день рождения! Примеры из жизни “Happy Birthday to You” (С днем рожденья тебя) – песня-поздравление […]...
5. Значение идиомы flash card [flash card] {n.} A card with numbers or words on it that is usedin teaching, a class. The teacher used flash cards to drill theclass in addition....
6. Значение идиомы bingo card [bingo card] {n.}, {slang} A response card, bound into a periodical, containing numbers keyed to editorial or advertising matter, giving the reader the opportunity to send for further information by marking the numbers of the items he is interested in; such a card can be mailed free of charge. Jack thinks he is saving time […]...
7. A blonde goes for a job interview A blonde goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer decides to start with the basics. ‘So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?’ The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for about 30 seconds before replying, ‘Ehhhh.. 22!’ The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. ‘And can you […]...
8. Ways to Pay I was at the store, and when the clerk finished Ringing me up, I had a few problems. Clerk: Your total comes to $79.42. Peter: Do you take Credit cards? Clerk: Yes, we take Visa, MasterCard, and American Express. Peter: Here’s my Visa. Clerk: Hmm…I’m sorry but your card has been Declined. Peter: Oh, I […]...
9. Ways to Pay I was at the store, and when the clerk finished Ringing me up, I had a few problems. Clerk: Your total comes to $79.42. Peter: Do you take Credit cards? Clerk: Yes, we take Visa, MasterCard, and American Express. Peter: Here’s my Visa. Clerk: Hmm…I’m sorry but your card has been Declined. Peter: Oh, I […]...
10. A Birthday Party My sister called me at the Last minute to help her with my nephew’s birthday party. She was feeling really sick and couldn’t get out of bed. I’d never given a children’s party before, but how hard could it be? Well, I found out. First, I had to go to the Party supply store To […]...
11. Curiosity Sings ‘Happy Birthday’ to Itself On Mars NASA scientists have commanded one of Curiosity’s instruments to hum out the tune of “Happy Birthday” to commemorate the rover’s first year on the Martian surface. Curiosity is no stranger to “firsts.” The one-ton rover is the first to laser-blast a Mars rock; it was also the first to carry out X-ray diffraction analysis on […]...
12. One day a blonde went into Wal-Mart and One day a blonde went into Wal-Mart and saw something she liked. The Blonde asked the clerk what it was. The Clerk said it was a thermous. What does the thermous do? It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold. So she bought one. The blonde brought it to work one day and the […]...
13. A department store A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and asks, “W-w-w-where’s the m-m-m-men’s dep-p-p-partment?” The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing. The man repeats himself: “W-w-w-where’s the m-m-m-men’s dep-p-p-partment?” Again, the clerk doesn’t answer him. The guy asks several more times: […]...
14. Describing Distances and Giving Directions Daniella: Could you tell where I can find a drugstore? Hotel clerk: Sure. There’s one Up the street near the Corner of Selma and Main. If you get to Abreu Avenue, you’ve Gone too far. It’s Set back from the street so it’s a little hard to find. Daniella: Oh, that’s okay. I’ll keep an […]...
15. My Birthday I was born on the 22nd of March. Birthday is a very remarkable day for me. It is spring and the weather is fine. In the morning my parents come to my room to wake me singing “Happy Birthday, dear Andy”. They give me the presents. I like to get them very much. Most people […]...
16. Значение идиомы card up one’s sleeve [card up one’s sleeve] {n. phr.}, {informal} Another help, plan, or argument kept back and produced if needed; another way to do something. John knew his mother would lend him money if necessary, but he kept that card up his sleeve. Bill always has a card up his sleeve, so when his first plan failed […]...
17. A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few questions…. Officer: What’s 2+2? Blonde: Ummmmm… 4! Officer: What’s the square root of 100? Blonde: Ummmm… 10! Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln? Blonde: Ummmm… I dunno. Officer: Well, you can go home and think […]...
18. Riding the Subway Misha: I’d like to buy a Token for the Subway. Clerk: The subway doesn’t use tokens anymore. Misha: Oh? I didn’t know that. It’s been a few years since I visited New York. How do I pay for the Fare? Clerk: You can buy a ticket for a Single ride that Expires two hours after […]...
19. Значение идиомы trump card [trump card] {n.} Something kept back to be used to win success ifnothing else works. The coach saved his star pitcher for a trumpcard. Mary had several ways to get Joan to come to her party. Hertrump card was that the football captain would be there....
20. Значение идиомы Christmas card [Christmas card] {n.}, {slang}, {citizen’s band radio jargon} A speeding ticket. Smokey just gave a Christmas card to the eighteen wheeler we passed....
21. Значение идиомы drawing card [drawing card] {n.} The most important figure in a multi-person event; the top entertainer during a show; the best professor or researcher at a university, etc. During the concert series Barbra Streisand was the biggest drawing card....
22. My Birthday – Мой день рождения (2) I was born on the 5th of December. This year on my birthday I woke up early because I was very excited. When I got up, my parents wished me happy birthday and gave me their presents. They gave me a DVD-disc of my favorite film and a beautiful pullover. I was very happy to […]...
23. Returning a DVD Player I bought a new DVD player last weekend. When I got home and Hooked it up, I realized that it was Defective. I Trudged back to the store to return it. Clerk: Next, please. Jeff: Hi, I bought this DVD player last Saturday and I’d like to Return it. Clerk: What’s the reason for the […]...
24. Returning a DVD Player I bought a new DVD player last weekend. When I got home and Hooked it up, I realized that it was Defective. I Trudged back to the store to return it. Clerk: Next, please. Jeff: Hi, I bought this DVD player last Saturday and I’d like to Return it. Clerk: What’s the reason for the […]...
25. Перевод сленгового выражения wild card, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: wild card Перевод: “дикая карта” – непредсказуемый, непредвиденный фактор; неожиданное событие, обстоятельство; неожиданность, случайность Пример: A surprise witness proved to be the wild card at the trial. На слушаниях неожиданный свидетель оказался непредвиденным фактором....
26. Мой день рождения/ My Birthday На английском языке Перевод на русский язык My Birthday Мой день рождения My name is Ekaterina. I’m twelve years old. I have one main and particular day in the year. It’s my birthday. When I woke up in the morning I knew that this day would be the most memorable in the year. I can […]...
27. Перевод идиомы card up one’s sleeve, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: card up one’s sleeve Перевод: припрятанный козырь, карта в рукаве; довод, аргумент, план, намерение, которое будет использовано в будущем в случае необходимости Пример: I think that our boss has a card up his sleeve and he will be able to help us later. Думаю, у нашего начальника есть на руках пара козырей, и потом […]...
28. An Irish man went to the courthouse to change his name An Irish man went to the courthouse to change his name legally changed. When he replied, the desk clerk asked “Can i help you sir?” Our man said “Yes, I would like to change my name.” “What is your current name?” asked the clerk. “Martin Arsehole,” replied the man. The clerk laughed, and said “I […]...
29. Commiting suicide A blonde and a brunette are living together. The brunette came home from work one day and the blonde had a rope around her waist. The brunette asked why the rope was around her waist. The blonde said that she was trying to commit suicide. The brunette said, “You put it around your neck!” The […]...
30. My Birthday – Мой день рождения (3) I was born on the 12th of March. Birthday is a very remarkable day for me. March is a spring month and usually the weather is warm. In the morning my parents come to my place and say: “Happy Birthday!” They give me presents. I enjoy getting them. Most people have a birthday party on […]...
31. Another ethnic joke A man of Polish ancestry walked up to the counter and asked for a Polish Meatball Sandwich. The man at the counter said, “What a Pollack.” The Polish man said, “I resent that. If a Jew came to your counter and asked for a kosher salami on rye, would you call him a stupid Jew.” […]...
32. Birthday – День Рождения Some days ago I celebrated my birthday. I always wait for it with great pleasure. It’s a pity that birthdays come only once a year. They are of great fun for children. I was born on the 15th of May 1987. So, according to Zodiac signs I am Taurus. This is a rather positive sign. […]...
33. An easy solution On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to coach since she did not have a first class ticket. The blonde replied, “I’m blonde; I’m beautiful; I’m going to New York; and I’m not moving.” Not wanting to argue […]...
34. A man decided to have a face lift A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really great about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how old do you think […]...
35. My Birthday – Мой день рождения (1) Birthday is a very wonderful day. Everybody likes to celebrate it. It is a good opportunity to spend time with friends, parents, relatives. I was born on the 10th of January. In the morning on my birthday my parents lay the presents near my bed. So the first thing I see when I open my […]...
36. A blonde went to the appliance store sale A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. “I would like to buy this TV,” she told the salesman. “Sorry we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied. She hurried home, dyed her hair, came back again and told the salesman, “I would like to buy this TV.” “Sorry we don’t sell […]...
37. The Presidential watches A man goes to a jewelry store looking to buy a watch. He looks at a watch called “the George Bush Watch” and asks the sales clerk why there are no hands. The sales clerk says – “you are suppose to read his lips”. He then looks at a watch called the “Ross Perot Watch” […]...
38. Значение идиомы charge up [charge up] {v. phr.} 1. To submit to a flow of electricity in order to make functional. I mustn’t forget to charge up my razor before we go on our trip. 2. To use up all the available credit one has on one’s credit card. “Let’s charge dinner on the Master Card,” Jane said. “Unfortunately […]...
39. Two newlyweds are riding in the back of a limo Two newlyweds are riding in the back of a limo on the way to their honeymoon boat cruise. The husband says, “Honey, I want to stop and pick up some condoms before we go.” “Good idea,” she says. “While you’re in there, pick me up some Dramamine.” The groom gets out, walks into the drugstore […]...
40. Two AA batteries Woman goes into a hardware store and asks the clerk for two AA batteries. The clerk gestures with his fingers and says, “Come this way,” and heads towards the back of the store. “If I could come that way,” she tells the retreating clerk, “I wouldn’t need the batteries.”...