For his birthday, Little Johnny asked for a 10 speed bicycle

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1. Little Johnny’s mother decided to giveLittle Johnny’s mother decided to give her son an anatomy lesson one day, so she took off all of her clothes and pointed to her vagina, and said, «Johnny. This is where you come from.» Johnny went to school the next day smiling and insisting all his friends now refer to him as «Lucky Johnny.» ... Читать далее...
2. The teacher hears Little Johnny cussing, andThe teacher hears Little Johnny cussing, and gets pissed off. She goes bitching to Little Johnny’s father. She comes to Little Johnny’s house and sees Little Johnny fucking a goat in the front yard. She walks in the house and screams to his father «Your son! Your son! He cussed in the school and now….now ... Читать далее...
3. Little Johnny had become a real nuisanceLittle Johnny had become a real nuisance while his father tried to concentrate on his Saturday afternoon poker game with friends and relatives. His father tried every way possible to get Johnny to occupy himself…television, ice cream, homework, video games…but the youngster insisted on running back and forth behind the players and calling out the ... Читать далее...
4. At school Little Johnny was told by a classmateAt school Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, «I know the whole truth.» Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. He goes home, and as he is greeted by ... Читать далее...
5. Little Johnny walked into his dad’s bedroomLittle Johnny walked into his dad’s bedroom one day only catch him sitting on the side of his bed sliding a condom onto his dick in preparation of fucking his wife. Johnny’s father in attempt to hide his full erection with a condom on it bent over as if to look under the bed. Little ... Читать далее...
6. Late one night, little Johnny woke up to the some loud noisesLate one night, little Johnny woke up to the some loud noises coming from his parents’ bedroom. He got out of bed and walked down the hall towards his parents room. Before he made it to the end of the hall, the noises had ceased and the bathroom light had gone on. Little Johnny walked ... Читать далее...
7. Little Johnny comes home from schoolLittle Johnny comes home from school with a note from his teacher, indicating that «Johnny seems to be having some difficulty with the difference between boys and girls,» and would his mother,»please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this.» So johnny’s mother takes him quietly, by the hand, upstairs to her bedroom, ... Читать далее...
8. Little Johnny was assigned a paper on childbirthLittle Johnny was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his mother, «How was I born?» «The stork brought you to us.» «Oh,» said Little Johnny. «Well, how did you and daddy get born?» he asked. «Oh, the stork brought us too.» «So. . . how were grandpa and grandma born?» «Well, darling, the stork ... Читать далее...
9. Little Johnny catches his parents going at itLittle Johnny catches his parents going at it. He yells in, «Hey, Pop! What are you doin’?» His father says, «Son, I’m filling your mother’s tank.» Johnny says, «Oh, yeah? Well, you better get a model that gets better mileage. The postman filled her this morning.»...
10. Little Johnny sat playing in the gardenLittle Johnny sat playing in the garden. When his mother came out to collect him, she saw that he was slowly eating a worm. She turned pale. «No, Johnny! Stop! That’s horrible! You can’t eat worms!» Trying to convince him further, «Now the mother worm is looking all over for her nice baby-worm.» «No, she ... Читать далее...
11. My BirthdayI was born on the 22nd of March. Birthday is a very remarkable day for me. It is spring and the weather is fine. In the morning my parents come to my room to wake me singing «Happy Birthday, dear Andy». They give me the presents. I like to get them very much. Most people ... Читать далее...
12. Little Johnny is coming home from the storeLittle Johnny’s is coming home from the store swinging the loaf of bread in one hand and the other hand in his pants pocket. Along come Priest Joe and he thinks to himself, «This is a good opportunity to say something from the bible to Little Johnny.» He walks up to Little Johnny and says, ... Читать далее...
13. Перевод слова bicycleBicycle — велосипед Перевод слова Racing bicycle — гоночный велосипед mountain bicycle — горный велосипед to ride a bicycle — ездить на велосипеде The Bicycle dented my car. Велосипед оставил вмятину на моей машине. Can James ride a Bicycle yet? Джеймс еще может ездить на велосипеде? The Bicycle chain needs oiling. Велосипедная цепочка должна быть ... Читать далее...
14. Little Johnny’s dad is sitting on the side of the bedLittle Johnny’s dad is sitting on the side of the bed rolling on a condom about to give his wife some. Little Johnny sticks his head in the door, sees his dad and says, «Whatcha doin’ Daddy?» Johnny’s dad stoops over to cover up his dick and starts looking at the floor. «Oh, I’m just ... Читать далее...
15. Grandpa and Little Johnny are sittingGrandpa and Little Johnny are sitting on a bench in the park. Johnny asked, «Grandpa are you going to take that new Viagra?» Grandpa looks at him and says «No Johnny, I will not.» «But Grandpa, why?» asks little Johnny. Grandpa replies. «Because there is no sense in putting lead in your pencil if you ... Читать далее...
16. Little Johnny — being logicalLittle Johnny A traveling salesman rings this doorbell. 10 year old little Johnny answers, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar. The salesman says, «little boy is your mother home?» Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says, «what do you think?»...
17. Little Johnny was late for schoolLittle Johnny was late for school. When he finally got there his teacher asked, «Why are you late little Johnny?» Johnny replied, «My grandpa got burnt, Miss.» The teacher replied, «I hope it wasn’t too bad.» Then little Johnny said, «Don’t worry, the crematorium doesn’t muck around!»...
18. Перевод слова mortgageMortgage — ипотека, закладная Перевод слова Chattel mortgage — продажа-залог движимого имущества to give a mortgage — выдавать закладную to lend on mortgage — давать деньги под закладную mortgage borrower — заемщик по ипотеке She Mortgaged her house in order to buy the restaurant. Она заложила свой дом, чтобы купить ресторан. He will have to ... Читать далее...
19. Johnny missed his final exam due to the fluJohnny missed his final exam due to the flu, but he’d done so well during the year that the teacher suggests to the principal they give him an oral exam to make up for the test he’d missed. The principal agrees so they called Johnny into the office and explain about the oral test. First ... Читать далее...
20. Little Johnny was in class againLittle Johnny was in class again. Teacher asked everyone «Can anyone tell me a sentence with the word definitely in it?» Meg puts up her hand.»The sky is definitely blue.» «Thats not bad, Meg,» says the teacher, «but the sky can be grey or red.» Young Sally tried :»The grass is definitely green.» «Good try ... Читать далее...
21. Перевод слова speedSpeed — скорость, быстрота, темп; мчаться Перевод слова To drive engine up to speed — раскручивать двигатель to drop speed — снижать скорость speed of utterance — темп речи to speed off — поспешно удалиться He has been Speeding. Он превысил скорость. Time Speed by. Время быстро пронеслось. The train put on Speed. Поезд прибавил ... Читать далее...
22. Значение идиомы Johnny-on-the-spot[Johnny-on-the-spot] {adj. phr.} At the right place when needed;present and ready to help; very prompt; on time. A good waterboy isalways Johnny-on-the-spot. The firemen were Johnny-on-the-spot andput out the fire in the house soon after it started. Compare: ON THEJOB....
23. One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little JohnnyOne Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The young man of seven had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up and stood beside him and gazing up at the plaque he said ... Читать далее...
24. Little Johnny walks into his primary schoolLittle Johnny walks into his primary school classroom one morning to be confronted by his teacher. Teacher «Ahh, Good Morning Johnny, and where were you yesterday?» Johnny «I’m sorry Miss, but my Grandad got burnt yesterday.» Teacher, «Was he burned very bad?» Johnny, «Yes Mam, they don’t fuck around at these crematoriums you know....
25. Mom, can little girls have babies?Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, «Mommy, can little girls have babies?» «No», said his mom, «of course not.» Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, «It’s okay, we can play that game again!»...
26. A married man thought he would give his wife a birthday surpriseA married man thought he would give his wife a birthday surprise by buying her a bra. He entered a ladies shop rather intimidated, but the girls took charge to help him. «What color?» they asked. He settled for white. «How much does it cost?» he asked. «Twenty dollars.» «Very good,» he thought. All that ... Читать далее...
27. Значение идиомы speed trap[speed trap] {n.} A place where police hide and wait to catchdrivers who are going even a little faster than the speed limit. Mr. Jones was caught in a speed trap....
28. Little Johnny goes into a pharmacy and asksLittle Johnny goes into a pharmacy and asks the chemist for some rubbers. The chemist puts a pack of rubbers on the counter. Johnny looks at the rubbers and asks the chemist if he has any other kind. The chemist goes into the back and brings out another pack. «Nah,» says Johnny, «what else do ... Читать далее...
29. Перевод слова birthdayBirthday — день рождения Перевод слова On a birthday — в день рождения on her tenth birthday — в день ее десятилетия birthday present — подарок ко дню рождения Happy Birthday! С днем рождения! Today is my Birthday! Сегодня мой день рождения! Примеры из жизни «Happy Birthday to You» (С днем рожденья тебя) — песня-поздравление ... Читать далее...
30. Obey the speed limitSitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer see’s a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, «This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!»So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are ... Читать далее...
31. An eye-doctor was having his 40th birthdayAn eye-doctor was having his 40th birthday, and gathered lots of friends and family in his house. His wife had made him a surprise cake, and led her husband blindfolded to a table where the cake was placed. Eagerly the doctor removed and looked down on the cake, and immediately burst into a crazed laughter, ... Читать далее...
32. Driving Through a Speed TrapAngel: Why are you driving At a snail’s pace? Georgina: This is an Infamous speed trap. I don’t want to get a Ticket – again. Angel: I don’t see any Squad cars along the road. Are you sure this is the right Stretch of road? Georgina: I’m sure. Those Cops are Crafty. They Hide out ... Читать далее...
33. My Mother’s Birthday — День рождения моей мамыLast month my mother had her birthday. My father decided to throw a surprise party for her. Two weeks, before the event he booked a room in my mother’s favourite cafe. And then my father began to invite our relatives and friends. Of course, that was a great secret. It was sometimes difficult to keep ... Читать далее...
34. Мой день рождения/ My BirthdayНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык My Birthday Мой день рождения My name is Ekaterina. I’m twelve years old. I have one main and particular day in the year. It’s my birthday. When I woke up in the morning I knew that this day would be the most memorable in the year. I can ... Читать далее...
35. Curiosity Sings ‘Happy Birthday’ to Itself On MarsNASA scientists have commanded one of Curiosity’s instruments to hum out the tune of «Happy Birthday» to commemorate the rover’s first year on the Martian surface. Curiosity is no stranger to «firsts.» The one-ton rover is the first to laser-blast a Mars rock; it was also the first to carry out X-ray diffraction analysis on ... Читать далее...
36. My Birthday — Мой день рождения (3)I was born on the 12th of March. Birthday is a very remarkable day for me. March is a spring month and usually the weather is warm. In the morning my parents come to my place and say: «Happy Birthday!» They give me presents. I enjoy getting them. Most people have a birthday party on ... Читать далее...
37. Little Johnny was in his math’s class one dayLittle Johnny was in his math’s class one day when the teacher singled him out. «If I gave you $20,» the teacher began,» and you gave $5 to Mary, $5 to Sally and $5 to Susan, what would you have?» «An orgy,» Johnny answered....
38. Значение идиомы speed up[speed up] {v.} To go faster than before; also, to make go faster. The car speeded up when it reached the country. Push in thethrottle to speed up the engine. Compare: PICK UP. Contrast: SLOWDOWN....
39. Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycleJuan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, «What’s in the bags?» «Sand,» answered Juan. The guard says, «We’ll just see about that get off the bike.» The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them ... Читать далее...
40. Everything we needA young teacher was trying to teach her six-year-old charges about sharing. In the midst of doing so, she said that no one had everything they wanted. At this point, a young arm was energetically pumping at the back of the class. She tried to ignore him, but little Johnny started saying, «oh miss, oh ... Читать далее...