George Costanza’s Tips for Working Hard VI

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1. George Costanza’s Tips for Working Hard II Use computers to look busy. Any time you use a computer, it looks like “work” to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, calculate your finances and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren’t exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would […]...
2. George Costanza’s Tips for Working Hard I George Costanza’s Tips for Working Hard I Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands. People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they’re heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they’re […]...
3. George Costanza’s Tips for Working Hard IV Voice Mail. Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don’t call you just because they want to give you something for nothing – they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That’s no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail […]...
4. George Costanza’s Tips for Working Hard IX Build Vocabulary. Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. Use it freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember: They don’t have to understand what you say, but you sure sound impressive....
5. George Costanza’s Tips for Working Hard III Messy desk. Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like you’re not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year’s work looks the same as today’s work; it’s volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you […]...
6. Jon starts working in a lumber camp Jon starts working in a lumber camp. The boss says, “We work twelve hours a day, we eat two meals a day, lights out at ten-thirty, and you can put your dick in the barrel over there for a blow job any day but Thursday.” Jon says, “Why not Thursday?” The boss says, “Because Thursday […]...
7. Stop being late to work Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn’t do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went […]...
8. The last day working “You Know It’s Your Last Day At Work When……” You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when she asks, “What’s this?”, you realize you just dropped the company’s deposit in a mailbox. A woman comes into the store, you turn to the other salesman and say, “I waited on the last fat ugly old […]...
9. Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn’t do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went […]...
10. Working Overtime Jeremy: Hello. Miranda: Hi, it’s me. I can’t make it home for dinner tonight. I’m working Overtime. Jeremy: Again? That’s the third time this week. I can’t believe your boss is making you do this. Miranda: Don’t get mad, but I actually told him that I Didn’t mind. I know I’ve been working Long hours, […]...
11. A young bloke has started work on a property A young bloke has started work on a property, and the boss sends him up the back paddocks to do some fencing work, but come evening he’s half an hour late. The boss gets on the CB radio to check if he’s all right. “I’ve got a problem, Boss. I’m stuck ‘ere. I’ve hit a […]...
12. My Working Day (5) В топике Мой рабочий день (5) я рассказываю, как я провожу свой день. Утром, встав в 7 часов, я делаю зарядку, застилаю постель, умываюсь, одеваюсь, завтракаю и в 8 утра выхожу из дома. В школе уроки начинаются в 9 часов утра. После школы я возвращаюсь домой, обедаю в 3 часа дня, отдыхаю, выполняю домашнее задание […]...
13. My Working Day – Мой рабочий день (5) When I studied at school, my everyday activities were quite routine. They did not differ much from those of any other pupil in our country. On weekdays the alarm clock waked me up at 7 o’clock in the morning. I’m not an early riser. That’s why it was always very difficult for me to get […]...
14. My Working Day (6) В топике Мой рабочий день (6) я рассказываю о буднем дне и о занятиях в школе (или на работе). По утрам я встаю в 7 часов утра, делаю зарядку, убираю постель, умываюсь, одеваюсь и завтракаю. Иногда я сама готовлю завтрак. После школы (или работы) я выполняю домашнее задание и некоторую работу по дому. Позже я […]...
15. Using an Online Email Program Luigi: What do you think of this new Email program? Selma: I don’t know yet. I just started using it. The Interface is pretty Intuitive, but I haven’t figured out how To sort my Inbox by date. Luigi: That’s easy. Let me show you. All you have to do is hit one of these buttons […]...
16. Working for an Impossible Boss Mr. Mann: Why are all these people Milling around doing no work? Laura! You’re In charge when I’m out of the office and you’re Incompetent! Laura: Mr. Mann, we need to talk in private. Let’s go into your office. Mr. Mann: What is this about? Laura: Mr. Mann, I’ve tried to do my job the […]...
17. The pretty secretary came in late for work the third day The pretty secretary came in late for work the third day in a row. The boss called her into his office and said, “Now look Sharon, I know we had a wild fling for a while, but that’s over. I expect you to conduct yourself like any other employee around here. The boss pressed on, […]...
18. Working as an Intern Jonas: How’s your new job? Crystal: It’s not a job Exactly. It’s an Internship. Jonas: Oh, so you’re working as somebody’s Lackey and getting paid a Pittance. Crystal: No, not exactly. I’m doing a lot of Scut work and I’m not getting paid a lot, but I’m getting very valuable On-the-job experience. Jonas: Sure you […]...
19. Working on the road A fellow stopped at a rural gas station and, after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. He stood by his car to drink his cola and he watched a couple of men working along the roadside. One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then […]...
20. How to Keep an Idiot Entertained for Hours I once wrote a book called How to Keep an Idiot Entertained for Hours. It went like this: To keep an idiot entertained for hours, read the next sentence. To keep an idiot entertained for hours, read the previous sentence.” It didn’t sell very well. I thought with the short attention span of people these […]...
21. Working Part-Time Jobs Luisa: Are you still here? I thought you Got off at 3:00. Max: I Picked up a second Shift. I Could use the money. Luisa: But I thought you had another Part-time job in the evenings. Max: I normally do, but the restaurant where I work has been Cutting back my hours, so I’m trying […]...
22. Working Late at the Office I was so glad it was Friday afternoon. I’ve been thinking-TGIF-all day. I was On my way out of the office when I saw Nick sitting at his desk. Even though the office was nearly empty, he didn’t look like he was ready to leave. In fact, he looked like he was still Swamped with […]...
23. Значение идиомы all hours [all hours] {n. phr.}, {informal} Late or irregular times. The boy’s mother said he must stop coming home for meals at all hours. He stayed up till all hours of the night to finish his school work....
24. My Working Day (4) В топике Мой рабочий день (4) я рассказываю, как проходит мой обычный день и учеба в институте. Встав в 7 часов утра, я делаю зарядку, умываюсь, одеваюсь, завтракаю и иду в институт. Занятия начинаются ровно в 9 часов утра. Обычно, у нас несколько занятий в день по разным предметам. В 6 часов вечера я прихожу […]...
25. Перевод слова hour Hour – час; время, период Перевод слова Twenty-four hours – сутки, 24 часа at the hour of seven – в семь часов unearthly hour – крайне неудобное время rush hours – часы пик hours of attendance – служебные часы The Hour invites. Время зовет. Your Hour has struck. Твой час пробил. It hailed for an […]...
26. Who is doing the work around here? The population of the United States was 180 million at the time of writing, but there are 64 million over 60 years of age, leaving 116 million to do the work. People under 21 total 59 million which leaves 57 million people to do the work. Because of the 31 million government employees, there are […]...
27. Значение идиомы keep late hours [keep late hours] {v. phr.} To go to bed late; habitually stay up late. “If you always keep such late hours, your healthmight suffer,” Tom’s doctor said....
28. Мой рабочий день/ My Working Day На английском языке Перевод на русский язык My Working Day Мой рабочий день My name is Alexander. After finishing the eighth grade I decided to make some money on the side on holidays. I went over some vacancies and decided to try to get a job as an employee in McDonalds. I interviewed and underwent […]...
29. My Working Day – Мой рабочий день (4) I’d like to describe you my working day. All the days looked very much the same. As a matter of fact, I am not an early-riser. I hate getting up early, but I got used to it. On weekdays I usually get up at 7. Г do my morning exercises. Then I wash my face […]...
30. My Working Day (3) В топике Мой рабочий День (3) я рассказываю, как обычно проходит мой день. Мы встаем в 6 часов утра, завтракаем, выгуливаем и кормим собаку и отправляемся на работу. Я подвожу Марту до работы, затем еду в институт, паркую машину и отправляюсь в офис, где работаю до 4:30 дня, затем возвращаюсь, вместе с Мартой, домой. Вечером […]...
31. Bosses versus workers When I take a long time, I am slow. When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough. When I don’t do it, I am lazy. When my boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy. When I do it without being told, I’m trying to be smart. When my boss does the same, that […]...
32. Boss wants too much For thirty years, Johnson had arrived at work at 9A. M. on the dot. He had never missed a day and was never late. Consequently, when on one particular day 9 A. M. passed without Johnson’s arrival, it caused a sensation. All work ceased, and the boss himself, looking at his watch and muttering, came […]...
33. My Working Day – Мой рабочий день (1) On week days I usually get up nearly six o’clock. I do not like to get up early, but I have to, because I have a lot of work to do during the day. I make my bed, wash my face, put my clothes on and go to the kitchen to have breakfast. My mother […]...
34. Working in a Dead End Job Agency employee: Tell me why you’d like to sign up with our Employment agency. Kurt: Well, right now I’m working in a Dead end job. There are no opportunities for Advancement. I’m already at the top of the Pay scale, so there’s no chance of another Pay raise. Agency employee: Okay, I’d like to find […]...
35. Working in a Bad Economy Shivon: This bad Economy is really Taking its toll. Lex: Tell me about it! My company has already Laid off 20% of its Workforce, and now the management is talking about cutting Salaries. It goes without saying that there won’t be any Bonuses this year. Shivon: What are you complaining about? At least you still […]...
36. Workplace insanity HOW TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY IN THE WORKPLACE Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is of a different gender than you. Make […]...
37. Learning Work Rules and Routines I was happy to finally get a job, but I wasn’t ready for a first day of work like this one. … Boss: This is your first day and my job is To give you the rundown on how we do things around here. This is a Well-oiled machine. Everybody has To pull his or […]...
38. The Working Day of an Engineer В топике Рабочий день инженера – я рассказываю о своем друге, инженере, работающем в одном из офисов Владивостока. Он работает по будням, его рабочий день длится 8 часов, в течение которых мой друг встречается с зарубежными специалистами, помогает начинающим инженерам, отвечает на запросы с других предприятий. Дмитрий очень любит свою работу, ведь она помогла ему […]...
39. There were two bulls, a young one named George and an old one named Sam There were two bulls, a young one named George and an old one named Sam. It was that time of year to satisfy the local female population, and young George was pretty excited. “Sam, Sam, can I go down to those heifers over there?” asked George. “George, relax. Here is how it works. We’ll wait […]...
40. Dealing With a Mistake Boss: What is going on here?! Jenny: There was a Miscommunication. Boss: A miscommunication?! There are 16 Copiers in this office. Who ordered 16 copiers? Jenny: No one did. Clearly Wires got crossed somewhere. I’ll try To get to the bottom of this, but the copiers will be removed before lunch. Boss: I can’t even […]...