St Peter is standing at the pearly gates one day

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1. Lady Di is welcomed at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter Lady Di is welcomed at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter. Peter asks: “Oh dear, what happened to you?” Di answers: “I died in a car crash, but wait till... ...
2. Clinton died and was standing at hte Pearly Gates Clinton died and was standing at hte Pearly Gates. After knocking at the gates, St. Peter appeared. “Who goes there?” inquired St. Peter. “‘It’s me, Bill Clinton.” “And what do... ...
3. A teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each... ...
4. Entering Pearly Gates Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present something relating or associated... ...
5. St. Peter meets Mother Theresa at the Gates Of Heaven St. Peter meets Mother Theresa at the Gates Of Heaven and says, “You were a good woman. I’m giving you a nice halo.” Mother Theresa is walking around Heaven when... ...
6. When the old golfer died, Peter met him at the gates of heaven When the old golfer died, Peter met him at the gates of heaven. “Sorry, old man,” Peter said, “But I can’t let you in. You see the big book here... ...
7. Accountant in Heaven An accountant dies and goes to Heaven. He reaches the pearly gates and is amazed to see a happy crowd all waving banners and chanting his name. After a few... ...
8. Entering into Heaven A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, “Religion?” The man says, “Methodist.” St. Peter looks down his list, and says, “Go to room 24, but be... ...
9. Punishment for Gates Satan greets him: “Welcome Mr. Gates, we’ve been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You’ve been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life.... ...
10. Three men die in a plane crash and are waiting Three men die in a plane crash and are waiting to enter heaven. St. Peter asks the first man, “What did you do on Earth?” Man #1: I was a... ...
11. Three girls died and were brought to the gates Three girls died and were brought to the gates of heaven. Upon entering the gate, they were halted by St. Peter and his obedient angel. St. Peter asked the girls,... ...
12. Four nuns arrived at the gates of heaven Four nuns arrived at the gates of heaven. St. Peter makes the inspection. The first one says:”I have to confess, I held mans penis in one hand.” St. Peter says:”You... ...
13. A pedophile dies in a car crash and goes to heaven A pedophile dies in a car crash and goes to heaven. He’s stopped at the pearly gates by St. Peter, who is really miffed: “You swine. How can you have... ...
14. Fidel dies and goes to heaven Fidel dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, St. Peter tells him that he is not on the list and that no way, no how, does he belong... ...
15. A Hero A large crowd had formed at the Pearly Gates, when Saint Peter came out with an announcement. “Because Heaven has become overcrowded, we can only let heroes in today. Is... ...
16. A lawyer and the pope were both killed in an accident A lawyer and the pope were both killed in an accident. The two were in line to see St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter asked the lawyer his... ...
17. Qualifying for Heaven Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each... ...
18. Значение идиомы rob Peter to pay Paul [rob Peter to pay Paul] {v. phr.} To change one duty or need foranother; take from one person or thing to pay another. Bill owedSam a dollar, so he borrowed... ...
19. A golfer hit his drive on the first hole A golfer hit his drive on the first hole 300 yards right down the middle. When it came down, however, it hit a sprinkler and the ball went sideways into... ...
20. Dealing with a lawyer A new York Divorce Lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter asks him “What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?” The Lawyer thought a moment,... ...
21. Clinton is in Heaven President Clinton died and knocked at the Pearly Gates. “Who goes there?” inquired St. Peter. “It’s me, Bill Clinton”. “What bad things did you do on earth?” Clinton thought a... ...
22. Gates gets punishment Bill Gates suddenly dies and finds himself face to face with God. God stood over Bill Gates and said, “Well Bill, I’m really confused on this one. It’s a tough... ...
23. Pick Heaven or Hell One day while walking down the street a highly successful executive woman was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was... ...
24. Биография Петра I Великого на английском языке. Biography of Peter the Great Peter I, or Peter the Great was one of the most outstanding rulers and reformers in Russian history. He was Tsar of Russia and became Emperor in 1721. First he... ...
25. Represent Christmas Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present something relating or associated... ...
26. Policemen in Heaven St Peter is standing at heaven’s gate when a man walks up. “Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?” “I was a policeman,” he responded.... ...
27. The CIA was recruiting for a top secret assignment The CIA was recruiting for a top secret assignment. They were down to three recruits, two men and one woman. Only one could get the position. As a final test... ...
28. A helping hand Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide that she’ll become a hooker. She’s not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, “Stand in front... ...
29. Christmas flavor Three men die in a car accident on Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering, they are told that they must... ...
30. Peter I the Great Peter I, or Peter the Great (1672-1725), was one of the most outstanding rulers and reformers in Russian history. He was at first a joint ruler with his weak and... ...
31. Jokes of science 02 The experimentalist comes running excitedly into the theorist’s office, waving a graph taken off his latest experiment. “Hmmm,” says the theorist, “That’s exactly where you’d expect to see that peak.... ...
32. Значение идиомы peter out [peter out] {v.}, {informal} To fail or die down gradually; growless; become exhausted. After the factory closed, the town prettywell petered out. The mine once had a rich vein of... ...
33. Биография Билла Гейтса/ The Biography of Bill Gates На английском языке Перевод на русский язык The Biography of Bill Gates Биография Билла Гейтса There isn’t a person in the world who doesn’t know about Bill Gates. He is... ...
34. Bill Gates – Билл Гейтс (2) William (Bill) H. Gates is chairman and chief software architect of Microsoft Corporation. Microsoft employs more than 39,000 people in 60 countries. Born on October 28, 1955, Gates and his... ...
35. Bill Gates – Билл Гейтс (1) William Henry Gates, also known as “Bill”, has established himself as the richest man in the world. He is the youngest self made billionaire, and perhaps the best businessman in... ...
36. Bill Gates – Билл Гейтс William Henry Gates, also known as “Bill”, has established himself as the richest man in the world. He is the youngest self made billionaire, and perhaps the best businessman in... ...
37. Jones is checking out of a hotel when suddenly he has to Jones is checking out of a hotel when suddenly he has to take a shit real bad. The toilet in his room isn’t working, so he bolts down to use... ...
38. Hillary goes to heaven Hillary Clinton died and, Lord knows why, went to heaven. St. Peter approached her and says “Hillary, I know you’re ‘somebody’ down on Earth, but up here, you’re just another... ...
39. Grandma Saperstein and Grandpa Rabinowitz are sitting Grandma Saperstein and Grandpa Rabinowitz are sitting on the veranda of the old folks home rocking back and forth in their rocking chairs. Grandpa Rabinowitz rocks forward in his chair... ...
40. Man and a Policeman A man defecates on London Bridge. A policeman comes to him and says: – Sir but you are not allowed to do that in this place. -Fuck yuo! -Sir, but... ...