Driving While Calling and Texting

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1. An Annoying Cell Phone UserCarl: I’m sorry, say that again. I couldn’t hear you Over that guy at the next table Shouting into his cell phone. Stephanie: That guy is so Rude. We’re trying to have a Leisurely conversation over a cup of coffee, and we have To out shout some Inconsiderate jerk. Carl: Do you think he realizes ... Читать далее...
2. Text MessagingI was supposed to meet Jenny at the library, but I was late. Jenny Texted me: «I M @ lib wher r u?» I’m not very good at texting so I used a Template to say I was going to be late. When I arrived at the library, Jenny laughed at me because she knew ... Читать далее...
3. Formatting TextChad: Okay, this report is finally finished. Pamela: Oh, not quite. I’m still working on the Formatting. Chad: We used the Standard formatting for this type of report. I don’t think we should play around with the Text. Pamela: Standard is boring. I want our report to be special. I’m putting a nice Border on ... Читать далее...
4. Taking the Driving TestCesar: I just took the Driving test. See this? That’s my new License. May: You have to give me the Play-by-play. I’m taking the test next week and I’m Freaking out. Cesar: There’s nothing to worry about. It was easy. May: I’m not worried about the written test. It’s the driving test I’m worried about. ... Читать далее...
5. Don’t do while drivingWe do not advise following any of the below driving rules to any extent. Driving should be taken seriously at all times. The below jokes are simply here for entertainment purposes. When using a metered entrance ramp, vehicles in the carpool lane do not need to stop. Similarly, vehicles NOT in the diamond lane also ... Читать далее...
6. Judi was bored with driving her BMWJudi was bored with driving her BMW. It laced individuality and besides that, every other girl in the office had one. She fancied something a bit more individual, perhaps an MG convertible. That week she visited her local car dealer and spied a beautiful Jaguar XK140 convertible. It was wonderfully restored and she fell in ... Читать далее...
7. Значение идиомы he laughs best who laughs last[he laughs best who laughs last] A person should go ahead with whathe is doing and not worry when others laugh at him. When he succeedshe will enjoy laughing at them for being wrong more than they enjoyedlaughing at him. — A proverb. Everyone laughed at Mary when she waslearning to ski. She kept falling ... Читать далее...
8. Types of PantsJosh: We are going to get you out of those Baggy sweatpants and into some pants that fit. Kayla: I don’t like pants that are too Formfitting. Josh: I’m not suggesting you buy Skintight leggings, but some nice Slacks would be Slimming. Kayla: I like pants with an Elastic waistband. They’re more comfortable. Josh: Just ... Читать далее...
9. Talking About Attractive Men and WomenPamela: You know that your tongue is hanging out of your mouth, right? David: That’s because I’ve never seen so many beautiful women in one place before. Why have I never been to this beach before? Look at her! She’s a Hottie! Pamela: Isn’t that what you said about that woman over there? David: No, ... Читать далее...
10. Being Chivalrous and ProtectiveWhen I first met Lance, I thought he was the perfect guy. He was a real Gentleman. He opened doors for me and Pulled out my chair in restaurants. He was As chivalrous as they come. But after a while, I realized that he Took chivalry a little too far. … Lance: Let me carry ... Читать далее...
11. Talking About Sound and VolumeDelilah: Could you Turn that down? Josh: What? Delilah: Could you turn your music down? Josh: Oh, sure. Is there a problem? Delilah: No, there’s no problem. I was just trying to do some reading and the Ear-splitting music coming from your room made it hard To concentrate. Josh: Sorry. I didn’t think it was ... Читать далее...
12. FCC slaps Florida highway cell phone jammer with $48K fineA Florida man is in big trouble for using a cell phone jammer while driving on the highway. 60-year-old Jason Humphreys admitted to police he’d used the device on his daily commute for roughly two years because he didn’t want drivers around him talking on their cell phones. But the powerful cell jammer shut down ... Читать далее...
13. Driving in Great Britain — Вождение в ВеликобританииWelcome to the free Tourist Information Line for visitors to Great Britain. For information on visas and immigration, please press one. For information on driving in Britain, please press two. For information on hotels, please press three. For information on public transport in Britain, please press four. To return to this menu at any time ... Читать далее...
14. Getting a Bad ReputationLance: Did you see Kim at the party last Saturday? Paulina: Yeah, I saw her. Why? Lance: She was wearing a Skimpy dress and all of the men were Leering at her all night. I used to think she was a Nice girl. Isn’t she worried that she’ll get a Reputation? Paulina: A reputation for ... Читать далее...
15. Types of PantsJosh: We are going to get you out of those Baggy sweatpants and into some pants that fit. Kayla: I don’t like pants that are too Formfitting. Josh: I’m not suggesting you buy Skintight leggings, but some nice Slacks would be Slimming. Kayla: I like pants with an Elastic waistband. They’re more comfortable. Josh: Just ... Читать далее...
16. Switching Cell Phone PlansPaul: I need a new Cell phone plan. These Roaming and Overage charges are killing me! Shauna: I thought you had a good calling, Messaging, and Data plan. Paul: I do, but I’m still Going over each month. Shauna: Have you thought about a Prepaid plan? You’ll never be charged extra. Paul: That’s not an ... Читать далее...
17. A guy was driving home one eveningA guy was driving home one evening when he suddenly realizes that it is his daughter’s birthday and that he hasn’t bought her anything. Out the corner of his eye he sees a shopping mall. Knowing it was «now or never», he pulls his car through three lanes of traffic, finds a parking bay and ... Читать далее...
18. Maintaining Internet PrivacyLorenzo: I wouldn’t Post all of those photos on Social media sites. Pamela: Why not? Only my friends and family are going to see them. Lorenzo: I wouldn’t be so sure. And I wouldn’t post all of that Personal data either or Divulge personal information. You don’t know who may Gain access to your page. ... Читать далее...
19. Using the TelephoneCharles: I don’t know how long this Power outage is going to last. Do you think we should call Elizabeth to tell her we’ll be late for dinner? Jane: That’s a good idea. Do you know her Phone number offhand? Charles: No, I don’t, and I can’t look it up in my Address book or ... Читать далее...
20. The Death of a PetDad: Honey, I have some bad news for you. Fluffy has Gone to the other side. Sarah: You mean she’s out of her cage again? I’ll go and try to find her. Dad: No, you don’t understand. Fluffy Passed away in the night. Sarah: Oh, she Died! That’s too bad, but she was Getting up ... Читать далее...
21. Перевод идиомы be in the driving seat, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: be in the driving seat Идиома: be in the driving seat Перевод: находиться у руля, держать рычаги власти, иметь контроль над ситуацией Пример: The consumer is in the driving seat due to the huge range of goods on the market. Потребитель имел весь контроль над ситуацией из-за огромного выбора товаров на рынке....
22. Juggler, driving to his next performanceJuggler, driving to his next performance, was stopped by the police. ‘What are those knives doing in your car?’ asked the officer. ‘I juggle them in my act.’ Oh yeah?’ says the cop. ‘Let’s see you do it.’ So the juggler starts tossing and juggling the knives. A guy driving by sees this and says, ... Читать далее...
23. Dangerous Freeway DrivingI do a lot of driving in my job. You would think that driving several hours Each way would Get old really fast, but I have ways of making an Interminable drive seem much more exciting. I like to drive fast on the freeways. I usually Pass all of the slower cars by staying in ... Читать далее...
24. Getting RevengeJaime: I don’t know what’s wrong with Liam lately. The guy is Short-tempered and Jumps down my throat about every little thing. Debra: [laughs] Jaime: What’s so funny? Debra: I have a feeling that he’s not getting enough sleep. Jaime: You don’t mean you and Liam… Debra: No way! It’s just that the women in ... Читать далее...
25. Driving Through a Speed TrapAngel: Why are you driving At a snail’s pace? Georgina: This is an Infamous speed trap. I don’t want to get a Ticket – again. Angel: I don’t see any Squad cars along the road. Are you sure this is the right Stretch of road? Georgina: I’m sure. Those Cops are Crafty. They Hide out ... Читать далее...
26. Пословица / поговорка he who laughs last, laughs longest / he laughs best who laughs last — перевод и значение, пример использованияПословица / поговорка: he who laughs last, laughs longest / he laughs best who laughs last Перевод: хорошо смеется тот, кто смеется последним Пример: Everybody thought that the boy would not get the job because he was too young. However, he who laughs last laughs longest and in fact he got the job easily. Все ... Читать далее...
27. A guy driving a Yugo pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-RoyceA guy driving a Yugo pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. The driver of the Yugo rolls down his window and shouts to the driver of the Rolls, «Hey, buddy, that’s a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I’ve got one in my Yugo!» The driver of Rolls looks ... Читать далее...
28. A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped byA juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. «What are these matches and lighter fluid doing in your car?» asks the cop. «I’m a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act.» «Oh yeah?» says the doubtful cop. «Lets see you do it.» The juggler gets out and starts juggling ... Читать далее...
29. Switching Cell Phone PlansPaul: I need a new Cell phone plan. These Roaming and Overage charges are killing me! Shauna: I thought you had a good calling, Messaging, and Data plan. Paul: I do, but I’m still Going over each month. Shauna: Have you thought about a Prepaid plan? You’ll never be charged extra. Paul: That’s not an ... Читать далее...
30. Celebrity Product LinesNick: The Possibilities are endless! You have to take advantage of being At the height of your career. Jessica: I don’t know about Lending my name to a Celebrity product line. Wouldn’t people think I was Selling out? Nick: Of course not. Most celebrities do it nowadays. People expect you To leverage your fame into ... Читать далее...
31. A man was driving up a steep and narrow mountain roadA man was driving up a steep and narrow mountain road. A woman was driving down the same road. As they passed each other, the woman leaned out the window and yelled, «Pig!» The man immediately leaned out his window and replied, «Bitch!» They continue on their way and as the man rounded the next ... Читать далее...
32. Twelve days fast foodTwelve days of fast food On the first day of Christmas, my drive through gave to me: a Big Bacon Classic with cheese. On the second day of Christmas, my drive through gave to me: Two Happy Meals, and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese. On the third day of Christmas, my drive through gave ... Читать далее...
33. Buying a BicycleI went to the Bike shop On Saturday morning to buy a bicycle. Clerk: What kind of bike are you looking for? Lance: I’m really not sure. Clerk: Well, let me show you what we have. We carry Road bikes, mountain bikes, beach cruisers, and Racing bikes. Lance: I’m going to start biking to work. ... Читать далее...
34. Перевод слова cheeseCheese — сыр Перевод слова A cheese — головка сыра, круг сыра semi-soft cheese — полутвердый сыр cheese sandwich — бутерброд с сыром This Cheese smells funky. Этот сыр пованивает. She Sliced the cheese thin. Она тонко порезала сыр. Sprinkle the top with Cheese. Посыпьте сверху сыром....
35. They are stopped by the policeJohn & Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that he was stopped because his tail light was burned out. John said, «I’m very sorry officer, I didn’t realize it was out, I’ll get it fixed right away.» Just ... Читать далее...
36. Do this while drivingStrange and silly things to do while driving. We do not advise doing any of the below «things to do while driving», as all driving should be taken seriously. The below «things to do while driving» are simply here for entertainment purposes. Vary your vehicle’s speed inversely with the speed limit. Roll down your windows ... Читать далее...
37. Driving school testThe following are a sampling of real answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation’s driving school. Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road? A: What for? He can’t see my license plate. Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop ... Читать далее...
38. Talking About Product QualityBrenda: It’s fun shopping for a new cell phone, don’t you think? Yoji: Sure, but I just need one with the Bare basics. Brenda: Not me. I want one that’s Top-of-the-line. My old phone was Cheap and Flimsy, and it started Acting up after only a few months. Yoji: I want something that’s good Quality, ... Читать далее...
39. Irishman declares warSaddam Hussein is sitting at home when the phone rings. He picks it up and says «Hello». The voice at the end of the phone says «Hello Mr. Hussein, it’s Paddy here. I’m just ringing to let you know that we’ve declared war on your country.» SH smiles to himself, «Come on Paddy», he says, ... Читать далее...
40. Formatting a DocumentFranz: I’ve just switched over to this program and I can’t figure out how To format my document. Can you help me? Helen: I can try. Let’s take a look. What do you want to do? Franz: I want to change the Margins so that I can fit more on a page. I don’t know ... Читать далее...