A college professor in an anatomy class asked his students

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1. A college professor is explaining to his class that pleasureA college professor is explaining to his class that pleasure is a mental state, and that many people overlook the things they already have. He says, «A man who has developed a true sense of appreciation can enjoy a good bowel movement as much as having sexual intercourse.» One student stands up and says, «Professor, ... Читать далее...
2. Biology ClassIn a biology class, the professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A young female (FRESHMAN) raised her hand and asked, «If I understand, you’re saying there is a lot of glucose, as in sugar in male semen?» «That’s correct», responded the professor, going on to add statistical info. Raising her hand ... Читать далее...
3. A college professor’s going to bed with his wifeA college professor’s going to bed with his wife. He’s not that tired, so he’s gonna stay awake and read while she goes to sleep. So he’s reading, and every once in a while he reaches over and tickles her on the fun spot… «Kitza kitza…» She says, «Will you stop that! Will you stop ... Читать далее...
4. Three college students were rapping about who they’d like to beThree college students were rapping about who they’d like to be cast off on a desert with. The first one opted for Cindy Crawford. The next one chose Pamela Anderson. The third man chose Virginia Pipeline. «Never heard of her.» his companions protested. «Who is she?» «Why she’s just the greatest Italian gal of all, ... Читать далее...
5. The Pope took a philosophy professorThe Pope took a philosophy professor (an atheist at that) out fishing on a large lake. As they drifted on the still lake, the philosopher accidentally dropped an oar and watched it float away. The pontiff stepped out of the boat, walked across the water to the oar, grabbed it and walked back to the ... Читать далее...
6. One day in class the teacherOne day in class the teacher has sex education. On the black board she draws a penis then asks the class if any of them knows what it is. In the back of the room, Dirty Johnny stands and says «That’s a penis, and my father has two of them». The teacher looks surprised and ... Читать далее...
7. The dean of women at an exclusive girl’s collegeThe dean of women at an exclusive girl’s college was lecturing her students on sexual morality. «In moments of temptation,» said the speaker to the class, «ask yourself just one question: Is an hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?» A sweet young thing in the back of the room rose to ask: «How ... Читать далее...
8. At a Texas University, a Professor had been teaching hisAt a Texas University, a Professor had been teaching his students human reproduction. For an exam, one of the questions was: «Female humans are born with a limited number of eggs, while males, during their lifetime, produce millions upon millions of sperm. Why are so many sperm produced?» One young woman’s answer: «Because they won’t ... Читать далее...
9. Перевод слова professorProfessor — профессор, преподаватель Перевод слова Former University professor — бывший преподаватель университета professor of sociology — преподаватель социологии a promotion to the rank of professor — присвоение звания профессора The new Professor always pontificates. Новый профессор всегда занимался догматическими разглагольствованиями. He looked like a nutty Professor. Он выглядел как полоумный профессор. The Professor flunked ... Читать далее...
10. Talking to the Professor[A knock on the door.] Jeff: Come in. Julie: Hi, Dr. McQuillan, I’m Julie Taylor. I’m in your 2 o’clock class on Thursdays. Jeff: Hi, Julie. Have a seat. What can I do for you? Julie: I wanted to come see you during your Office hours because I Missed class last week. I had a ... Читать далее...
11. A first-grade teacher was overseeing her students asA first-grade teacher was overseeing her students as they experimented with their desk computers. One boy sat staring at the screen, unsure how to get the computer going. The teacher walked over and read what was on his screen. In her most reassuring voice, she said, «The computer wants to know what your name is,» ... Читать далее...
12. Fun on first day of classThis is for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you do any of these things on the first day of class or for that matter, on any day of class. 1. Smoke a pipe and respond to each point the professor makes by waving it and saying, «Quite right, old bean!» 2. Wear ... Читать далее...
13. Значение идиомы cut a class[cut a class] {v. phr.} To be truant; to deliberately miss a class and do something else instead. «If you keep cutting classes the way you do, you will almost surely flunk this course,» John’s professor said to him....
14. College DormOn the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: «The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.» He continued, «Anybody caught breaking this rule the ... Читать далее...
15. Значение идиомы cow college[cow college] {n.}, {slang} 1. An agricultural college; a school where farming is studied. A new, bigger kind of apple is being grown at the cow college. 2. A new or rural college not thought to be as good as older or city colleges. John wanted to go to a big college in New York ... Читать далее...
16. Перевод слова collegeCollege — колледж Перевод слова College diploma — диплом об окончании колледжа college graduate — выпускник колледжа the cloistered atmosphere of a small college — замкнутая атмосфера маленького колледжа He studied film in College. Он изучал кино в колледже. I started College last week. Я поступил в колледж на прошлой неделе. We met each other ... Читать далее...
17. Convince these studentsAn Army recruiter delivered a windy pep talk to encourage a group of college students to join the VOLAR. But the culminating point of his oration was greeted with cat calls, whistles and projection of rotten eggs and an assortment of no less rotten vegetables and fruits. A visitor asked a student: «Why you throw ... Читать далее...
18. At the first session of a conversion classAt the first session of a conversion class the minister conducting the class asked, «What must we do before we can expect forgiveness from sin?» After a long silence, one of the men in attendance raised his hand and said: «Sin?»...
19. Перевод слова sketchSketch — эскиз, набросок, зарисовка Перевод слова To draw a sketch — делать зарисовку composite sketch — сложный эскиз biographical sketch — биографический очерк comic sketch — комический скетч He made a Sketch of his house. Он сделал набросок своего дома. I always Sketch with pen and paper. Я всегда делаю наброски на бумаге ручкой. ... Читать далее...
20. Students suspended for riding horses to schoolPranks become more common as the school year wraps up for many students. This 2015 story is going viral after being posted on Reddit this week. Two high school seniors were suspended after they rode horses to school as part of «No Vehicle to School Day.» The decision to not use vehicles to get to ... Читать далее...
21. Students miss a finalIntroductory Chemistry was taught at Duke University for many years by professor Bonk. One year, two guys took the class and did pretty well on all the quizzes and mid-terms — so much so that going into the final, they each had a solid A. These two friends were so confident going into the final ... Читать далее...
22. The evils of marijuanaA certain college professor was notorious for getting off the topic of the lecture, and on to his favorite subject: the evils of marijuana. Off he went one day into his inventory of horrors, «Used regularly,» he explained, «pot can cause psychic disorientation, sterility, cancer and castration!» «Now wait a minute, professor,» interrupted a student. ... Читать далее...
23. At the Russian War College, the general is a guest lecturerAt the Russian War College, the general is a guest lecturer and tells the class of officers that the session will focus on potential problems and the resulting strategies. One of the officers in the class begins by asking the first question, «Will we have to fight a World War Three?» «Yes, comrades, looks like ... Читать далее...
24. Little Johnny was in class againLittle Johnny was in class again. Teacher asked everyone «Can anyone tell me a sentence with the word definitely in it?» Meg puts up her hand.»The sky is definitely blue.» «Thats not bad, Meg,» says the teacher, «but the sky can be grey or red.» Young Sally tried :»The grass is definitely green.» «Good try ... Читать далее...
25. Значение идиомы old college try[old college try] {n. phr.} An attempt to win a favor from anotherby mentioning the fact that one had gone to the same college oruniversity as the party from whom the favor is requested. Since heneeded a job, he decided to use the old college try when he contactedJerry, but it didn’t work. Compare: OLD ... Читать далее...
26. The first engineer calls out to the otherThe first engineer calls out to the other, «Hey—Nice bike! Where did you get it?» «Well,» replies the other, «I was walking to class the other day when this pretty, young coed rides up on this bike. She jumps off, takes off all of her clothes, and says ‘you can have ANYTHING you want!'» «Good ... Читать далее...
27. A young lady asked the Scotsman what he wore under his kiltA young lady asked the Scotsman what he wore under his kilt. «Reach up there and find out.» She did, but quickly pulled her hand back out and said, «Oh, it’s gruesome!» «Aye, it has,» replied the Scotsman, «and if you put your hand back up there, it’ll grow some more!»...
28. Poor Rabbi!A young Jewish couple had only recently set up housekeeping when an unfortunate incident occurred. Early one morning, the wife, drowsy from bed, went to the toilet for the morning’s relief, and neglected to notice that the seat was up. When she sat, she kept going! She was just the right size and shape so ... Читать далее...
29. Значение идиомы College Boards[College Boards] {n.} A set of examinations given to test a student’s readiness and ability for college. John got a high score on his College Boards. College Boards test both what a student has learned and his ability to learn....
30. Studly young Romeo and his dimwitted college sidekickStudly young Romeo and his dimwitted college sidekick are perched near the front door of the girls’ dorm. Several plain Janes walk by as the two converse. Then a Sharon Stone look-alike emerges from the dorm and saunters past. Romeo turns, smiles, and — barely audibly — inquires, «Tickle your ass with a feather?» The ... Читать далее...
31. Колледж/ CollegeНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык College Колледж All high school children face the problem of choosing their future profession. Before graduating from school they decide which college or university to enter. To pass entrance exams is a real challenge for young people. It requires hard intellectual work and lots of effort. At college ... Читать далее...
32. Here is this guy who really takes care of his bodyHere is this guy who really takes care of his body, he lifts weights and jogs five miles every day. One morning he looks into the mirror and admires his body. he noticed that he is really sun-tanned all over, except his penis, and he decies to do something about it. He goes to the ... Читать далее...
33. How MIT Students Won $8 Million in the Massachusetts LotteryMIT students figured out how to make winning the Massachusetts lottery a sure thing, and a recent investigation suggests that the lottery commission knew about it. Maybe Uncle Ben was right: With great power comes great responsibility. While most students at the famed Massachusetts Institute of Technology use their powers for good — for example, ... Читать далее...
34. Down in Florida, two widows were talking and one askedDown in Florida, two widows were talking and one asked the other, «Do you ever get to feeling horny?» «Yes,» her friend replied. «What do you do about it?» «I usually suck on a Lifesaver.» After a moment of stunned silence her friend asked, «Well, what beach do you go to?»...
35. Значение идиомы third class[third class] {n.} 1. The third best or highest group; the classnext after the second class. Mary won the pie-making contest in thethird class, for the youngest girls. 2. Mail that is printed, otherthan magazines and newspapers that are published regularly, andpackages that are not sealed and weigh less than a pound. Thecompany uses third ... Читать далее...
36. Значение идиомы second class[second class] {n.} 1. The second best or highest group; the classnext after the first. Joe was good enough in arithmetic to be putin the second class but was not good enough for the first. Compare:FIRST CLASS. 2. The place or quarters, especially on a ship, train, orairplane which people travel who pay the next ... Читать далее...
37. Мой колледж/ My CollegeНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык My College Мой колледж My name is Elena. I’m sixteen years old. I live in Kazan city, Russia. I have recently graduated from my high school and entered the Kazan Medical College. It is one of the best colleges in the city. Besides, I have always wanted to ... Читать далее...
38. Значение идиомы first class[first class] {n.} 1. The first rank; the highest class; the bestgroup. The pianist was quite good but he was not in the firstclass. 2. The most expensive or comfortable class of travel; the bestor one of the best groups in which to travel, especially by ship, train, or airplane. Most people can’t afford the ... Читать далее...
39. Three college roommates — two females and a maleThree college roommates — two females and a male — began to argue after dinner about whose turn it was to do the dishes. «All right,» one of the girls said, «the first one to speak has to do them.» The trio retired to the living room to watch TV. When their neighbor, a school ... Читать далее...
40. Перевод слова classClass — класс, группа, занятие, урок Перевод слова The working class — рабочий класс two classes of poets — поэты двух родов the senior class — последний год обучения When is Class? Когда начало занятий? Pine trees belong to the evergreen Class. Сосны принадлежат к классу вечнозеленых растений. I came by the second Class, and ... Читать далее...