At the first session of a conversion class

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1. Biology Class In a biology class, the professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A young female (FRESHMAN) raised her hand and asked, “If I understand, you’re saying there is a lot of glucose, as in sugar in male semen?” “That’s correct”, responded the professor, going on to add statistical info. Raising her hand […]...
2. Значение идиомы bull session [bull session] {n.}, {slang} A long informal talk about something by a group of persons. After the game the boys in the dormitory had a bull session until the lights went out....
3. Значение идиомы gross-out session [gross-out session] {n.}, {slang}, {avoidable} A verbal contestbetween teen-agers in which the object of the game is to see who canbe more disgusting or vulgar than anybody else. When Jim got homehe found his two teen-age sons engaged in a gross-out session; hebawled them out and cut their weekly allowance....
4. While attending a spelling session in school one day While attending a spelling session in school one day, The teacher asked if anyone could spell the word DUMB? Darla raises her hand and says “I can, I can” The teacher replies, “OK, go ahead Darla…” Darla replies…”D-U-M-B” The teacher replies, “very good”, and “can you use that word in a sentence?” Darla replies, “Sure, […]...
5. Перевод слова attendance Attendance – присутствие, посещение, посещаемость Перевод слова Attendance list – список присутствующих poor attendance – плохая посещаемость daily attendance – ежедневная посещаемость perfect attendance – стопроцентная посещаемость Attendance at the meeting is not required. Присутствие на собрании не обязательно. The Attendance is up. Посещаемость очень высокая. How many Attendances at class have you made? Сколько […]...
6. Little Johnny was in class again Little Johnny was in class again. Teacher asked everyone “Can anyone tell me a sentence with the word definitely in it?” Meg puts up her hand.”The sky is definitely blue.” “Thats not bad, Meg,” says the teacher, “but the sky can be grey or red.” Young Sally tried :”The grass is definitely green.” “Good try […]...
7. Значение идиомы first class [first class] {n.} 1. The first rank; the highest class; the bestgroup. The pianist was quite good but he was not in the firstclass. 2. The most expensive or comfortable class of travel; the bestor one of the best groups in which to travel, especially by ship, train, or airplane. Most people can’t afford the […]...
8. A college professor in an anatomy class asked his students A college professor in an anatomy class asked his students to sketch a naked man. As the professor walked around the class checking the sketches he noticed that a sexy young coed had sketched the man with an erect penis. The professor commented, “Oh, no, I wanted it the other way.” She replied, “What other […]...
9. After their love-making session the young bride asks her husband After their love-making session the young bride asks her husband “Was making love to me really the same as making love to Marilyn Monroe?” “Yes, she’s dead to!””Was making love to me really the same as making love to Marilyn Monroe?” “Yes, she’s dead to!”...
10. A Traditional Wedding I arrived at my friend Karin’s Wedding a little late and the ceremony had already begun. I’ve been to a lot of Civil ceremonies, but it had been a while since I’d attended a religious one. They had asked a Minister To Officiate. When I arrived, Karin and her Fiance, Jan, were standing in front […]...
11. Значение идиомы third class [third class] {n.} 1. The third best or highest group; the classnext after the second class. Mary won the pie-making contest in thethird class, for the youngest girls. 2. Mail that is printed, otherthan magazines and newspapers that are published regularly, andpackages that are not sealed and weigh less than a pound. Thecompany uses third […]...
12. Значение идиомы second class [second class] {n.} 1. The second best or highest group; the classnext after the first. Joe was good enough in arithmetic to be putin the second class but was not good enough for the first. Compare:FIRST CLASS. 2. The place or quarters, especially on a ship, train, orairplane which people travel who pay the next […]...
13. Перевод слова class Class – класс, группа, занятие, урок Перевод слова The working class – рабочий класс two classes of poets – поэты двух родов the senior class – последний год обучения When is Class? Когда начало занятий? Pine trees belong to the evergreen Class. Сосны принадлежат к классу вечнозеленых растений. I came by the second Class, and […]...
14. Two Irish lads had been out shacking up with their Two Irish lads had been out shacking up with their girl friends. One felt guilty and decided he should stop at the church and confess. He went into the confession booth and told the Father, “Father, I have sinned. I have committed fornication with a lady. Please forgive me.” The Father said, “Tell me who […]...
15. Значение идиомы high-class [high-class] {adj.} Of the best quality; very good; superior. – Avoided by many careful speakers. When Mr. Brown got a raise inpay, Mrs. Brown started to look for a high-class apartment. Mrs. Smith always gets her clothing at high-class shops. Mr. Jonesalways gets his office workers from Burns Agency because they havehigh-class help. Compare: FIRST-CLASS....
16. The new hooker had just finished her first trick The new hooker had just finished her first trick. When she came back down to the street, the seasoned veterans all gathered around to hear the details. She said, “Well, he was a big, muscular and handsome marine.” “Well? What did he want to do?” they all asked. She said, “I told him that a […]...
17. A little boy was excited about his first day at school A little boy was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom. So he raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused. Of course the teacher said yes, but asked […]...
18. One day a teacher was teaching religion One day a teacher was teaching religion, when she asked the class “What part of your body do you think goes up to heaven first?” Two children rose their hand. One was little Johnny. Hesitant to pick on him she chose little Mary. “I think your heart goes first because, that’s were your emotions of […]...
19. One day in class the teacher One day in class the teacher has sex education. On the black board she draws a penis then asks the class if any of them knows what it is. In the back of the room, Dirty Johnny stands and says “That’s a penis, and my father has two of them”. The teacher looks surprised and […]...
20. An unfortunate coincidence One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. “Reverend,” she said, “I have a problem–my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It’s very embarrassing. What should I do?” “I have an idea,” said the minister. “Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell […]...
21. Значение идиомы cut a class [cut a class] {v. phr.} To be truant; to deliberately miss a class and do something else instead. “If you keep cutting classes the way you do, you will almost surely flunk this course,” John’s professor said to him....
22. Значение идиомы fourth class [fourth class] {n.} A class of mail that is not sealed and weighs apound or more, that includes things that are bought and sold and sentin the mail, and printed things that are not second or third classmail. Bill sent away 98 cereal box tops and a dollar and got back asheriff’s badge and gun […]...
23. In the Sex Ed class the teacher says In the Sex Ed class the teacher says, “All right, class, I want you to go home and come back tomorrow with as many positions as you can think of for making sex.” The next day she says to Little Johnny in the back, “Well, John, how many positions did you come up with?” Johnny […]...
24. Discussing Social Class Hector: Can you believe James? All evening, he tried to tell me how this country would be better if we had no Social classes. He’s out of his mind. Sophia: He was just trying To get a rise out of you. We all know that the two of you don’t See eye to eye. Hector: […]...
25. A word play A teacher asked her students to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence. Mary said, “My family went to the New York City Zoo, and we saw all the animals. It was fascinating.” The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted the word “‘fascinate.'” Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to […]...
26. Change my mind The church was conducting its annual fund drive. One member of the congregation said, “I give ten dollars.” Just then, a piece of plaster fell from the ceiling and landed on his head. He spoke up again quickly. “I give a thousand dollars!” The minister said, “Lord, hit him again!”...
27. A young, freshly minted lieutenant A young, freshly minted lieutenant was sent to Bosnia as part of the peace keeping mission. During a briefing on land mines, the captain asked for questions. Our intrepid solder raised his hand and asked, “If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do?” “Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump […]...
28. Перевод слова minister Minister – министр, священник Перевод слова Ex-minister – бывший министр, экс-министр the Minister of Finance – министр финансов forceful minister – влиятельный министр The Minister pronounced them man and wife. Священник объявил их мужем и женой. He always has access to the Prime Minister. У него всегда есть доступ к премьер-министру. The Minister said, “Let […]...
29. Fun on first day of class This is for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you do any of these things on the first day of class or for that matter, on any day of class. 1. Smoke a pipe and respond to each point the professor makes by waving it and saying, “Quite right, old bean!” 2. Wear […]...
30. The room was full of pregnant women and their partners The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. “Ladies, exercise is good for you,” announced the teacher. “Walking is especially […]...
31. Перевод слова silence Silence – молчание, тишина; заставить замолчать Перевод слова Dead silence – мертвая тишина to break the silence – нарушить тишину to silence a speaker – заставить оратора замолчать to silence a crying child – успокоить плачущего ребенка We waited in Silence. Мы молча ждали. A scream broke the Silence. Крик нарушил тишину. His Silence implied […]...
32. The wrong definition Way down in the deep south, in an area known as the ‘Bible Belt,’ there lived a Baptist minister with a very large congregation. One morning, after a particularly moving sermon, he announced, “Friends I have been hearing very nasty rumors!” The crowd fell into an expectant silence. The Minister continued, “One of you, here […]...
33. Little Johnny was in his math’s class one day Little Johnny was in his math’s class one day when the teacher singled him out. “If I gave you $20,” the teacher began,” and you gave $5 to Mary, $5 to Sally and $5 to Susan, what would you have?” “An orgy,” Johnny answered....
34. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “Your work is absolutely first-class” Greg Грег Do come in and sit down. How are you? Заходите, пожалуйста, и присаживайтесь. Как у вас дела? Heather Хезер I’m fine, thanks. Have you had a chance to look at my proposal? Все хорошо, спасибо. Вы уже рассмотрели мое предложение? Greg Грег Yes, I have, that’s what I mainly want to talk about. […]...
35. A college professor is explaining to his class that pleasure A college professor is explaining to his class that pleasure is a mental state, and that many people overlook the things they already have. He says, “A man who has developed a true sense of appreciation can enjoy a good bowel movement as much as having sexual intercourse.” One student stands up and says, “Professor, […]...
36. Jerry Falwell was seated next to President Clinton Jerry Falwell was seated next to President Clinton on a recent flight. After the plane was airborne, the flight attendant came around for drink orders. The President asked for a whisky & soda, which was brought and placed before him. The attendant then asked the minister if he would also like drink. The minister replied […]...
37. Sue and Sally meet at their 30th class reunion Sue and Sally meet at their 30th class reunion, and they haven’t seen each other since graduation. They begin to talk and bring each other up to date. The conversation covers their husbands, their children, homes, etc., and finally gets around to their sex lives. Sue says, “It’s OK. We get it on every week […]...
38. The Teacher tells the class they are going to play a game The Teacher tells the class they are going to play a game, she will describe an object and the students will tell her what she had described. Teacher: “The first object is Red, Round, and has a stem.” Timmy: ” I know what it is, it’s an apple.” Teacher: “That’s right, I like the way […]...
39. Orgasmic Problems The husband, tired of a listless sex life came right out and asked his wife during a recent love-making session, “How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?” She looked him rite in the eye and said, “You’re never home!”...
40. A good student It was the first day of school and a new student named Martinez, the son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade. The teacher said, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American history. Who said “Give me Liberty, or give me Death?” She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Martinez, who had his […]...