The wrong definition

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1. The minister of a small congregation was about to start his sermon The minister of a small congregation was about to start his sermon when he noticed a young woman in the front row, wearing a tight dress with her boobs almost hanging out. He couldn’t concentrate on his message to the flock, so he dismissed the service and asked to speak to the woman after everyone […]...
2. Definition of Outdoor Barbecuing Definition of Outdoor Barbecuing ——————————— It’s the only type of cooking a “real” man will do. When a man volunteers to do such cooking, the following chain of events is put into motion. (1) The woman goes to the store. (2) The woman fixes the salad, vegetables, and dessert. (3) The woman prepares the meat […]...
3. There once was a young Irish woman who went to confession There once was a young Irish woman who went to confession. Upon entering the confessional she said, “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.” The priest said, “Confess your sins and be forgiven.” The young woman said, “Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.” The priest thought long and hard […]...
4. By definition A young Army 1st Lt. is in the bathroom (head) releaving himself at the urinal, when a young boy walks in. The boy, seeing the young Lt.’s green uniform asks him if he was in the Army. The Lt. smiles and say’s, “Why yes I am…you wanna wear my hat?” The boy nods and the […]...
5. Wrong card At the card shop: A woman was spending a long time looking at the cards, finally shaking her head, “No.” A clerk came over and asked, “May I help you?” “I don’t know,” said the woman. “Do you have any ‘Sorry I laughed at your dick’ cards?”...
6. The definition of sex Hillary and Chelsea were having a deep dish heart to heart talk about Chelsea’s college experiences. Hillary: So have you found dating to be fullflling experience? Chelsea: It’s okay..but i don’t like how the boys sometimes act like real sex hounds. Hillary: Well, uh, have you, uh, actually had sex? Chelsea: Well Mom, no, not […]...
7. Перевод слова guilty Guilty – виновный, виноватый Перевод слова Guilty person – виновный; виноватый to be guilty of a blunder – быть повинным в совершении ошибки guilty conscience – нечистая совесть to look guilty – выглядеть виноватым, иметь виноватый вид He was declared Guilty. Его признали виновным. He is Guilty of treason. Он виновен в измене. Marie immediately […]...
8. A definition of God A little boy was learning about God in his church, and he was talking to his mother about it. She, not wanting to place prejudice in the little boy’s mind, sat him and said: “God is not a man or a woman, and God is not black or white.” To which the child responded, “Well, […]...
9. Перевод слова confess Confess – признавать, признаваться Перевод слова To confess a fault – признать ошибку to confess to a crime – признаться в совершении преступления you had best confess – вам лучше всего сознаться I Confessed my sins to the priest. Я исповедовался священнику в своих грехах. You should Confess and redress your errors. Вам следует признать […]...
10. Перевод слова flock Flock – стадо, стая, толпа; скапливаться Перевод слова A flock of wild ducks – стая диких уток a flock of visitors – толпа посетителей to flock about smb. – толпиться вокруг кого-л. The crowd Flocked around the speaker. Вокруг выступающего собралась толпа. We see an immense Flock of geese making up the stream. Мы видим […]...
11. What’s the definition of the perfect woman? Ok, I’m going to get a lot of hate mail for this one… What’s the definition of the perfect woman? She’s three feet tall, has a round hole for a mouth, and her head is flat so you can put a can on it. The sports model has pull back ears and her teeth fold […]...
12. Перевод слова apologize Apologize – извиняться Перевод слова Apologize for an incident – принести извинения за инцидент apologize profusely – без конца извиняться apologize for words – извиняться за свои слова I Apologized for being late. Я извинился за опоздание. I’m so sorry, I do Apologize. Мне так жаль, я приношу свои извинения. I want to Apologize, again. […]...
13. Значение идиомы camp follower [camp follower] {n.} 1. A man or woman who goes with an army, not to fight but to sell something. Nowadays camp followers are not allowed as they were long ago. 2. A person who goes with a famous or powerful person or group in hope of profit. A man who runs for president has […]...
14. Значение идиомы birds of a feather flock together [birds of a feather flock together] People who are alike often become friends or are together; if you are often with certain people, you may be their friends or like them. – A proverb. Don’t be friends with bad boys. People think that birds of a feather flock together....
15. Two Irish lads had been out shacking up with their Two Irish lads had been out shacking up with their girl friends. One felt guilty and decided he should stop at the church and confess. He went into the confession booth and told the Father, “Father, I have sinned. I have committed fornication with a lady. Please forgive me.” The Father said, “Tell me who […]...
16. Перевод слова loyal Loyal – верный, лояльный Перевод слова Loyal wife – преданная жена loyal friend – верный друг loyal subjects of the king – верноподданные короля Your Loyals are betraying you. Прежде верные тебе люди предают тебя. The shop has a small but Loyal following. У магазина была небольшая, но преданная клиентура. Loyals are less price sensitive […]...
17. Accountant and farmer A man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. Stopping to rest, he tells the shepherd, “I will bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock”. The shepherd thinks it over. It’s a big […]...
18. I’m at the wrong bank Letterman’s Top Ten Signs You’re Doing Business With The Wrong Bank 10. When you make a deposit, tellers high-five each other. 9. After you get a free toaster, bank president shows up at your house begging for toast. 8. Your monthly statements are handwritten, in crayon. 7. When you want to make a withdrawal, clerks […]...
19. Перевод слова minister Minister – министр, священник Перевод слова Ex-minister – бывший министр, экс-министр the Minister of Finance – министр финансов forceful minister – влиятельный министр The Minister pronounced them man and wife. Священник объявил их мужем и женой. He always has access to the Prime Minister. У него всегда есть доступ к премьер-министру. The Minister said, “Let […]...
20. Значение идиомы stand by [stand by] {v.} 1. To be close beside or near. Mary could nottell Jane the secret with her little brother standing by. Wouldyou just stand by and watch the big boys beat your little brother? 2.To be near, waiting to do something when needed. The policeman inthe patrol car radioed the station about the robbery, […]...
21. Перевод идиомы in the wrong place at the wrong time, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: in the wrong place at the wrong time Перевод: в неправильное время в неправильном месте Пример: The man was in the wrong place at the wrong time when the car hit him. Мужчина оказался в неправильное время в неправильном месте, когда его сбила машина....
22. Перевод идиомы take someone or something wrong / get someone or something wrong, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: take someone or something wrong / get someone or something wrong Перевод: понять кого-либо или что-либо неправильно Пример: The man took what I said wrong and became very angry. Этот человек не правильно меня понял и очень разозлился....
23. After church on Sunday morning, a young boy After church on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, “Mom, I’ve decided I’m going to be a minister when I grow up. “That’s okay with us,” the mother said, “But what made you decide to be a minister?” “Well,” the boy replied, “I’ll have to go to church on Sunday anyway, […]...
24. I often feel guilty Sheri, the pert and pretty nurse took her troubles to a resident psychiatrist in the hospital where she worked. “Doctor, you must help me,” she pleaded. “It’s gotten so that every time I date one of the young doctors here, I end up dating him. And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a […]...
25. Значение идиомы go wrong [go wrong] {v. phr.} 1. To fail; go out of order. Something wentwrong with our car and we stalled on the road. 2. To sink into animmoral or criminal existence. In a large city many young people gowrong every year....
26. What marketing is Now I understand what marketing is: You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You approach her and tell her: “I am very good in bed”. That is Direct Marketing. You are at a party with a group of friends and you see a very pretty girl. One of your friends […]...
27. Значение идиомы fear and trembling [fear and trembling] or [fear and trepidation] {n. phr.} Greatfear. He came in fear and trembling to tell his father he had a badreport card....
28. A Lutheran minister is driving down A Lutheran minister is driving down to New York to see the radio show and he’s stopped in Connecticut for speeding. The state trooper smells alcohol on his breath and then he sees an empty wine bottle on the floor, and he says, “Sir, have you been drinking?” And the minister says, “Just water.” The […]...
29. Definition of Programmer Programmer: A person who passes as an exacting expert on the basis of being able to turn out, after innumberable poundings, an infinite series of incomprehensive answers calculated with micrometric precisions from vague assumptions based on debatable figures from inconclusive documents and carried out on instruments of problematical accuracy by persons of dubious reliability and […]...
30. You should be more pollite Trafalgar Square. A young man and an old woman sit on a bench. Near the benches walk a lot of pigeons. Pigeons make a lot of noise. Young man stands up and begins to shout: “Fuck off you stupid pigeons! Fuck off!”. An old woman says: “Young man. You should be more pollite and not […]...
31. Перевод слова woman Woman – женщина Перевод слова A woman with history – женщина с прошлым a woman of great insight – необыкновенно проницательная женщина likely young woman – привлекательная молодая женщина man born of woman – смертный The mugger assaulted the Woman. Грабитель напал на женщину. She is a very determined Woman. Она очень решительная женщина. She […]...
32. It’s dark in here A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman’s husband also comes home. She puts her Lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there […]...
33. The definition of a phallic symbol This girl walks in to a doctors office and she asks “Whats a failic symbol? Doctor says “you’re kidding..” Girl says “no! I don’t know! Whats a failic symbol???” Doctor pulls his pants and underwear down and says “You see? This is a failic symbol!” Girl says “Oh! Its just like a penis, only smaller”...
34. Two Irishmen were digging a ditch directly across from a brothel Two Irishmen were digging a ditch directly across from a brothel. Suddenly, they saw a rabbi walk up to the front door, glance around and duck inside. “Ah, will you look at that?” One ditch digger said. “What’s our world comin’ to when men of th’ cloth are visitin’ such places?” A short time later, […]...
35. An unfortunate coincidence One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. “Reverend,” she said, “I have a problem–my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It’s very embarrassing. What should I do?” “I have an idea,” said the minister. “Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell […]...
36. A tall woman met a midget at a party A tall woman met a midget at a party. The midget was barely three feet tall but they were attracted to each other. After a few drinks they went back to the tall woman’s apartment. “I can’t imagine what it will be like making love to a midget,” said the woman, “especially with the size […]...
37. The woman’s secret At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy. “No woman,” said one man, scornfully, “can keep a secret.” “I don’t know about that,” huffily answered a woman guest. “I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one.” “You’ll let it out some day,” the […]...
38. A very homely young woman made an appointment with a psychiatrist A very homely young woman made an appointment with a psychiatrist. She walked into his office and said, “Doctor, I’m so depressed and lonely. I don’t have any friends, no man will come near me, and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?” “I’m sure I can,” the psychiatrist replied. “Just […]...
39. A new statue for the bedroom A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. “Hurry!” she said, “Stand in the corner.” She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. “Don’t move until I tell you to.” she whispered. “Just pretend you’re a statue.” “What’s […]...
40. Значение идиомы stick by one [stick by one] {v. phr.} To support; remain loyal to. All ofPeter’s friends stuck by him faithfully, in spite of what has beensaid about him in the press....