The Yuppette had risen to executive level

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1. The Yuppie showered a Yuppette with gifts for over a month The Yuppie showered a Yuppette with gifts for over a month. He took her to fancy restaurants and expensive resorts. Finally, he proposed, “Bernie, if you will marry me, I have enough money to provide you with anything your little heart desires.” “Sorry John.” she replied. “I’m not ready to settle down yet. And besides, […]...
2. Перевод слова level Level – уровень; ровный, плоский Перевод слова Sea level – уровень моря a high level of excellence – высокий уровень мастерства to rise to higher levels – подниматься на более высокую ступень level surface – ровная поверхность He forced his voice to remain Level. Он заставил себя говорить спокойным тоном. An increased Level of performance […]...
3. Значение идиомы level off [level off] or [level out] {v.} 1. To make flat or level. Thesteamroller leveled out the gravel roadbed and then the concrete waspoured. 2. To move on an even level. The airplane leveled out at2,000 feet. After going up for six months, the cost of livingleveled off in September....
4. It had taken him several months, but the executive vice president It had taken him several months, but the executive vice president had finally persuaded his new secretary to bend over the back of his leather couch and allow him to have sex with her that way. “And just where have you been until this hour?” demanded his wife, when the wayward husband finally arrived home. […]...
5. Значение идиомы level best [level best] {adj. phr.} One’s utmost; one’s very best. Ericrefused to stay in school although his parents did their level best tomake him finish....
6. Значение идиомы level with [level with] {v. phr.} To tell someone the truth; not engage inlies and subterfuge. “You can level with me,” his father said. “Didyou break that window?”...
7. Значение идиомы on the level [on the level] {adj. phr.}, {informal} Honest and fair; telling thewhole truth. Our teacher respects the students who are on the levelwith her. Joyce wondered if the fortune-teller was on the level....
8. Jesus has risen Easter is approaching. Father O’Maley checks estimates for the flower decoration of the altar. The catholic florist – $ 300. “Too expensive” moans the priest. The protestant florist – $ 250, “No, it would not be right to buy at another Christian believer, especially as the price difference is rather small.” But lo! Solly Goldberg […]...
9. Early withdrawals The husband was furious when he found out the checking account was empty. When he confronted his wife, she simply said, “It’s my turn.” “What do you mean, your turn?” yelled the husband. “In bed,” she explained, “you’ve been making early withdrawals for years. Now, it’s my turn.”...
10. An unfortunate coincidence One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. “Reverend,” she said, “I have a problem–my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It’s very embarrassing. What should I do?” “I have an idea,” said the minister. “Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell […]...
11. All of a sudden, the wife smacks her husband All of a sudden, the wife smacks her husband. The husband was totally dumfounded and asks, “What was that for?” Wife said, “Because, you are a bad fuck”. Couple of minutes later, the husband smacks his wife. This time, the wife was confused and asked, “And may I ask what’s that about?” Husband said, ” […]...
12. Some of the myths about marriage TOP15.Some of the myths about marriage… Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. Their passion is heating up. Then the wife stops and says: “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.” The husband says: “WHAT??” The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional […]...
13. An old retired man goes to his wife one day An old retired man goes to his wife one day, and says to her, “I don’t know how to tell you this dear, but the stock market crashed, and I’m afraid we’re broke.” The wife says, “No, we’re not. Let’s go for a drive into town.” Husband replies, “Our savings are all gone and you […]...
14. A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in – law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother. The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and […]...
15. Poor Rabbi! A young Jewish couple had only recently set up housekeeping when an unfortunate incident occurred. Early one morning, the wife, drowsy from bed, went to the toilet for the morning’s relief, and neglected to notice that the seat was up. When she sat, she kept going! She was just the right size and shape so […]...
16. While in prison OJ had another prisoner join him in his cell While in prison O. J. had another prisoner join him in his cell. This person was 8′ tall and 670 lbs. of solid muscle. He asked O. J. if he wanted to be the husband or the wife. Now O. J. not being stupid started reasoning in his mind “OK if I say I’m going […]...
17. Being hurt A husband and wife went to the fairgrounds. The wife wanted to go on the Ferris wheel, but the husband wasn’t comfortable with that. So the wife went on the ride by herself. The wheel went round and round and suddenly the wife was thrown out and landed in a heap at her husband’s feet. […]...
18. Gift tombstones A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their wedding anniversary. The husband decides to give his wife a gift, a tombstone, with the inscription: “Here lies my wife…..cold as ever” Later the furious wife bought a return present, a tombstone with the inscription: “Here lies my husband…..stiff at last”...
19. Перевод слова false False – ошибочный, фальшивый, не настоящий Перевод слова False accusation – ложное обвинение false note – фальшивая нота false document – поддельный документ He registered at the hotel under a False name. Он зарегистрировался в гостинице под чужим именем. His friends played him False. Его друзья обманули его. She’s so False. Она такая врунья....
20. Fatherly feelings One night a wife found her husband standing over their baby’s crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, skepticism. Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she […]...
21. A wife begins to get a little worried because A wife begins to get a little worried because her husband has not arrived home on time from his regular Saturday afternoon golf game. As the hours pass she becomes more and more concerned until at 8 p. m. the husband finally pulls into the driveway. “What happened?” says the wife. “You should have been […]...
22. As US tourists in Israel As US tourists in Israel, a man and his wife were sitting outside a Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists. An Arab salesman approached them carrying belts. After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked where they were from. “America,” the husband replied. Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the […]...
23. A husband and wife are on a nudist beach A husband and wife are on a nudist beach when suddenly a wasp buzzes into the wife’s business end. Naturally enough, she panics. The husband is also quite shaken but manages to put a coat on her, pull up his shorts and carries her to the car. Then he makes a mad dash to the […]...
24. There was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk There was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk in a bar. Suddenly the drunk stands up and yells, “ATTENTION ALL” and farts loudly. The wife is extremely embarrassed, and the husband looks at the drunk and says” Excuse me, you just farted before my wife.” The drunks replies,” I’m sorry I […]...
25. Having the equipment A couple went on vacation to a resort up north. The husband liked to fish, and the wife liked to read. One morning the husband came back from fishing after getting up real early that morning and took a nap. While he slept, the wife decided to take the boat out. She was not familiar […]...
26. Merryied talk A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband yells, “When you die, I’m getting you a headstone that reads: ‘Here Lies My Wife – Cold As Ever’.” “Yeah,” she replies, “When you die, I’m getting you a headstone reads: ‘Here Lies My Husband – […]...
27. Marriage counseling A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up. “Oh, we’ll never need that. My wife and I have a great relationship,” the husband explained. “She was a communications major in college and I majored in theatre arts.” He continued, “She communicates well and […]...
28. A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, “When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?” The husband replied, “All I wanted to do […]...
29. Saving the situation After attending a party for his boss, the life of the party was nursing a king-size hangover and asked his wife, “What the hell happened?” “As usual, you made an ass of yourself in front of your boss,” replied the wife. “Piss on him,” answered the husband. “You did,” said the wife, “and he fired […]...
30. A wife comes home unexpectedly one day and finds her husband A wife comes home unexpectedly one day and finds her husband in bed with a lady midget. Upset and furious over his actions, the woman screams, “You promised me two weeks ago that you would never cheat on me again!” Trying his best to calm her down, the husband turns to his wife and says, […]...
31. Someone really stinks A young couple were on their honeymoon. The husband was sitting in the bathroom on the edge of the bathtub saying to himself, “Now how can I tell my wife that I’ve got really smelly feet and that my socks absolutely stink? I’ve managed to keep it from her while we were dating, but she’s […]...
32. A nerdy accountant is sent to jail for embezzlement A nerdy accountant is sent to jail for embezzlement and they put him in a cell with a huge evil looking guy. The big guy says, “I want to have some sex. You wanna be the husband or the wife?” The accountant replies, “Well, if I have to be one or the other, I guess […]...
33. A henpecked husband A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself. “You don’t have to let your wife bully you,” he said. “Go home and show her you’re the boss.” The husband decided to take the doctor’s advice. He went home, slammed the door, shook his fist in his wife’s face, and growled, “From now […]...
34. Who am I? Night. A sleeping couple is lying in a bed. Door bell rings. A couple wakes up. Woman: “Quick! My husband is back!” Man jumps out from a window. Flying down he starts to think: “Shit! But I am the husband!” Sent by Ser...
35. Перевод слова route Route – путь, маршрут, трасса Перевод слова Bus route – маршрут автобуса the great trade routes – великие торговые пути two-way route – трасса в двух направлениях I drive this Route every day. Я езжу по этому маршруту каждый день. He had marked the Route on the map in red. Он отметил маршрут на карте […]...
36. One night, as a couple lay down for bed This joke sucks…. One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says, “I’m sorry honey, I’ve got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.” The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to […]...
37. A husband and wife were in their back yard A husband and wife were in their back yard, and he was noticing her expanding backside. He commented, “Boy, your ass is getting big. almost as big as the gas grill here.” She angrily stomped across the yard, and he followed saying, “Yep, that thing is getting huge.” At this, the wife retreated to the […]...
38. Golf lessons A husband and wife love to golf together, but neither of them are playing like they want to, so they decide to take private lessons. The husband has his lesson first. After the pro sees his swing, he says, “No no, no, you’re gripping the club way too hard!” “Well, what should I do?” asks […]...
39. Uh-Oh!! The husband finally wised up to the fact that his wife was less than faithful. He hired a private investigator to follow her and in less than a week, had all the information that he needed on the “other man”. The husband convinced himself that his would still be a loving and trustworthy marriage had […]...
40. Groundhog Day “I bet you don’t know what day this is”, said the wife to her husband as he made his way out the front door. The husband was perplexed, but was always a quick thinker: “Of course I do, my dear. How could I forget!?” With that, he turned and rushed to catch the bus for […]...