Without a horn

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1. English hornQ: What is the difference between hearing an English horn solo and being tortured? A: One is far more painful to your ears. Q: What’s the name of a good English horn player? A: I’ll tell you when I meet one. Q: How many English horn players does it take to change a light bulb? ... Читать далее...
2. Перевод идиомы blow one’s own horn / toot one’s own horn, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: blow one’s own horn / toot one’s own horn Перевод: хвалиться, хвастаться, нахваливать себя Пример: My friend is always blowing his own horn and is very annoying at times. Мой друг постоянно хвалится, и иногда он очень действует на нервы....
3. Visiting a RanchPiero: What’s all this? Annie: I’m visiting my sister and brother-in-law’s new Ranch next month and I’m getting ready for it. I know I’m a city girl, but I plan To fit right in On that ranch and work Alongside all of the other cowboys. Piero: Well, you Look the part. You’ve got your Cowboy ... Читать далее...
4. French hornQ: What do you get when you cross a French horn player with a goal post? A: A goal post that can’t march. Q: How many French horn players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Just one, but he’ll spend two hours checking the bulb for alignment and leaks. Q: What do ... Читать далее...
5. Значение идиомы blow one’s own horn[blow one’s own horn] or [toot one’s own horn] {v. phr.}, {slang} To praise yourself; call attention to your own skill, intelligence, or successes; boast. People get tired of a man who is always blowing his own horn. A person who does things well does not have to toot his own horn; his abilities will ... Читать далее...
6. Значение идиомы horn in[horn in] {v.}, {slang} To come in without invitation or welcome;interfere. Often used with «on». Jack would often horn in onconversations discussing things he knew nothing about. Lee hornedin on Ray and Annie and wanted to dance with Annie. Compare: BUTT IN....
7. Перевод слова hornHorn — рог, рожок, гудок Перевод слова Horns and hoofs — рога и копыта shepherd’s horn — пастуший рожок horn of abundance — рог изобилия The Horn below sounded the recall. Раздался звук горна, означающий сигнал к возвращению. A motor Horn sounded off behind me and scared me silly. За моей спиной просигналил клаксон и ... Читать далее...
8. Biotech firm creates fake rhino horn to reduce poachingA San Francisco biotech startup has managed to 3D print fake rhino horns that carry the same genetic fingerprint as the actual horn. It plans to flood Chinese market with these cheap horns to curb poaching. Pembient, based in San Francisco uses keratin — a type of fibrous protein — and rhino DNA to produce ... Читать далее...
9. A guy takes his greenhorn wife hunting on a ranchA guy takes his greenhorn wife hunting on a ranch. When they reach their deer blinds, the guy says, «If you shoot a deer, be sure not to let somebody else say he’s the one who shot it. Otherwise, he’ll take the deer from you. The deer belongs to whoever shoots it.» The guy goes ... Читать далее...
10. Judi and a brunette were discussing their boyfriendsJudi and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends. Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row! Judi: That’s nothing; last night I had over a hundred. Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good. Judi: (looking shocked) Oh, you mean with one guy....
11. Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranchCowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch about his first visit to a big-city church. «When I got there, they had me park my old truck in the corral,» Joe began. «You mean the parking lot,» interrupted Charlie, a more worldly fellow. «I walked up the trail to the door,» Joe ... Читать далее...
12. Where are you fromThe cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Amarillo theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this he whispered to the cowboy, «Sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.» The cowboy groaned but didn’t budge. The usher became more impatient. «Sir, if you don’t get up from there, I’m going ... Читать далее...
13. Learn it by listeningTwo cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, «You see that Indian?» «Yeah,» says the other cowboy. «Look,» says the first one, «he’s listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction.» Just ... Читать далее...
14. A cowboy walked into a barber shopA cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barber’s chair and said, «I’ll have a shave and a shoe shine.» The barber began to lather his face while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautiful breasts that he had ever seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes. The cowboy said, ... Читать далее...
15. Значение идиомы in the saddle[in the saddle] adv. or {adj. phr.} In command; in control; in aposition to order or boss others. Mr. Park was in the saddle whenhe had over half the company’s stock. Getting appointed chiefof police put Stevens in the saddle....
16. Be afraid if you annoy this husbandA man and woman where on their honeymoon after a long and very happy courtship. On their honeymoon, they decide to take their horses through the beautiful mountain passes of Europe. As the horses were crossing a small stream, the woman’s horse mis-steps and jostles the man’s wife. Once across the stream, the man dismounts, ... Читать далее...
17. Значение идиомы saddle shoe[saddle shoe] {n.} A white shoe with a black or brown piece ofleather shaped like a saddle across the top of the shoe. Mary worebobby socks and saddle shoes....
18. Ventriliquist cowboy walks into townVentriliquist cowboy walks into town and sees Indian sitting on his porch. Cowboy: Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him? Indian: Dog no talk. Cowboy: Hey dog, hows it going? Dog: Doin alright. Indian: [extreme look of shock] Cowboy: Is this your owner? [pointing at Indian] Dog: Yep Cowboy: How’s he treat you? ... Читать далее...
19. A blonde named Vikki decides she wants to tryA blonde named Vikki decides she wants to try horseback riding one day. So Vikki mounts the horse, taps its butt, and the horse starts to take off at a reasonable speed. She is having fun, and decides she wants to go a little faster, so she kicks the horses butt, and the horse goes ... Читать далее...
20. AccordionsAn accordion is a bagpipe with pleats. Q: What is the definition of an optimist? A: An accordion player with a pager. Q: What is the difference between an Uzi and an accordion? A: The Uzi stops after 20 rounds. Q: What do accordion players use as a contraceptive? A: Their personalities. Q: What’s the ... Читать далее...
21. TromboneQ: How do you make a trombone sound like a french horn? A: Stick your hand in the bell and play lots of wrong notes. Q: How do you make a french horn sound like a trombone? A: Take your hand out of the bell and lose all sense of taste. Q: How do you ... Читать далее...
22. An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remoteAn attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. An Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful except that every few minutes ... Читать далее...
23. Reading timeA Cowboy riding down the trail encounters an Indian laying on the trail with hard on. The Cowboy asks «what are you doing?» Indian says» Me tellum time.» Cowboy shakes his head, rides on, encounters another exactly the same. Says «You telling time?» yup» «how can you tell time like that?» Indian says «workum like ... Читать далее...
24. Значение идиомы split the difference[split the difference] {v. phr.}, {informal} To settle a moneydisagreement by dividing the difference, each person giving up half. Bob offered $25 for Bill’s bicycle and Bill wanted $35; they splitthe difference....
25. Значение идиомы hold one’s horses[hold one’s horses] {v. phr.}, {informal} To stop; wait; bepatient. — Usually used as a command. May be considered rude. «Holdyour horses!» Mr. Jones said to David when David wanted to call thepolice....
26. England JokesQ: What’s the difference between England and a tea bag? A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer. — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — ... Читать далее...
27. A cowboy along with his horse and dog are captured late oneA cowboy along with his horse and dog are captured late one afternoon by hostile Indians. This presents no problem for the horse as the Indians can always use another pony. The dog’s fate is some what tenuous but it is certain that the cowboy will be burned at the stake the following sunrise. That ... Читать далее...
28. Is that your horseThe Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, «Who owns the big white horse outside?» The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gunbelt, and said, «I do. Why?» The cowboy looked at the ... Читать далее...
29. Перевод слова vacationVacation — отпуск, каникулы, освобождение Перевод слова Christmas vacation — рождественские каникулы vacation of a position — уход с поста; отставка to take a vacation — брать отпуск, уходить в очередной отпуск She was away on Vacation. Она уехала в отпуск. Did you have a good Vacation? Хорошо ли вы провели отпуск? I got a ... Читать далее...
30. Judi was bored with driving her BMWJudi was bored with driving her BMW. It laced individuality and besides that, every other girl in the office had one. She fancied something a bit more individual, perhaps an MG convertible. That week she visited her local car dealer and spied a beautiful Jaguar XK140 convertible. It was wonderfully restored and she fell in ... Читать далее...
31. Перевод слова differenceDifference — различие, разница, несходство Перевод слова Difference of opinion — расхождение во мнениях difference of five pounds — разница в пять фунтов to have a difference with smb. — поспорить с кем-л. It makes no Difference. Какая разница? Can you taste the Difference? Вы можете почувствовать разницу? It makes a vast Difference. Это значительно ... Читать далее...
32. Returning from her vacationReturning from her vacation, the young secretary was telling anyone who would listen about what a fun time she had. She then asked for two weeks leave in which to get married. «But you just had two weeks off,» said the boss. «Why didn’t you get married then?» «What and ruin my vacation?» she whined....
33. Перевод слова trafficTraffic — движение, трафик Перевод слова Trunk traffic — междугородное транспортное сообщение to block off traffic — перекрывать движение traffic code — правила дорожного движения The Traffic noise kept me awake. Шум уличного движения не давал мне уснуть. I was delayed by the Traffic. Я опоздал из-за того, что попал в пробку. A five-car pileup ... Читать далее...
34. Buying A BullTwo sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last ... Читать далее...
35. Many moonsThere was a cowboy who went to the outhouse. He heard some noise, so he looked inside, and lo and behold there was an Indian down in the hole. The cowboy said, «How long have you been down there?» The Indian replied, «Many moons.»...
36. TraditionsA man and a woman got married, and he told her : » since you are my wife you should respect my traditions and habits…and i have 3 traditions. So, first tradition: On wednesdays i play football with my friends…no matter what..whether it snows or it rains…i dont care..i play football!! -Is it clear for ... Читать далее...
37. Driving school testThe following are a sampling of real answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation’s driving school. Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road? A: What for? He can’t see my license plate. Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop ... Читать далее...
38. California Driving Test AnswersThe following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation’s driving school (read at Saturday Traffic School for moving violation offenders.) Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road? A: What for? He can’t see my license plate. Q: Who has the right ... Читать далее...
39. So this Mexican dude was taking a piss on the side of a buildingSo this Mexican dude was taking a piss on the side of a building and this white dude sees him. After the Mexican is done the white guy asks him, «How come you Mexicans don’t wash your hands after you pee?» And the Mexican guy replies, «Because we Mexicans don’t piss in our hands»...
40. Vacationing on an IslandMohsen: I need to get off this Island. I’m getting Island fever. Ella: We’ve only been here two days. Give it a chance. We’re here to enjoy a slower Pace of life, remember? Mohsen: When you said we were going on an island vacation, I didn’t know we’d be so Isolated. There isn’t a Living ... Читать далее...