Visiting a Ranch

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1. A blonde named Vikki decides she wants to try A blonde named Vikki decides she wants to try horseback riding one day. So Vikki mounts the horse, taps its butt, and the horse starts to take off at a reasonable speed. She is having fun, and decides she wants to go a little faster, so she kicks the horses butt, and the horse goes […]...
2. Значение идиомы horse [horse] See: BET ON THE WRONG HORSE, CART BEFORE THE HORSE, CHANGEHORSES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREAM or CHANGE HORSES IN MIDSTREAM, EATLIKE A HORSE, HOLD ONE’S HORSES. IRON HORSE, LOCK THE BARN DOOR AFTERTHE HORSE IS STOLEN, LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH, OFF ONE’S HIGHHORSE, ON ONE’S HIGH HORSE, PUT ONE’S […]...
3. Bathroom control One day Pablo and Paco are riding through the desert on their horses. As they ride along, Pablo smells something horrible. He stops his horse and turns around. He says “Hey Paco, you shit your pants?” Paco says “No, Pablo, I did not shit my pants.” He believes him and they keep riding. As they […]...
4. Be afraid if you annoy this husband A man and woman where on their honeymoon after a long and very happy courtship. On their honeymoon, they decide to take their horses through the beautiful mountain passes of Europe. As the horses were crossing a small stream, the woman’s horse mis-steps and jostles the man’s wife. Once across the stream, the man dismounts, […]...
5. Feeling Homesick Annie: Why the Long face? Luis: I don’t know. I guess I’m feeling a little Homesick. Annie: I thought you got over that. I know the Adjustment was hard when you first got here, but I thought you were Coping pretty well. Luis: I was. It’s just that the holidays are coming up and I […]...
6. A guy takes his greenhorn wife hunting on a ranch A guy takes his greenhorn wife hunting on a ranch. When they reach their deer blinds, the guy says, “If you shoot a deer, be sure not to let somebody else say he’s the one who shot it. Otherwise, he’ll take the deer from you. The deer belongs to whoever shoots it.” The guy goes […]...
7. Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch about his first visit to a big-city church. “When I got there, they had me park my old truck in the corral,” Joe began. “You mean the parking lot,” interrupted Charlie, a more worldly fellow. “I walked up the trail to the door,” Joe […]...
8. A blonde bought two horses, and could never remember A blonde bought two horses, and could never remember which was which. A neighbor suggested that she cut the tail of one horse and that worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just right and looked exactly like the other horse’s tail and our friend was stuck […]...
9. Stagecoach surprise I had a dream the other night. I was in the old West riding in a stagecoach. Suddenly, a man riding a horse pulls up to the left side of the stagecoach, and a riderless horse pulls up on the right. The man leans down, pulls open the door, and jumps off his horse into […]...
10. Time Off from Work My buddy from college, Jack, was getting married and our friend Rob was planning a Bachelor party for him in Vegas. It was going to be the Last weekend of the month and I wanted to go. The trouble was, I was scheduled to work that weekend. I needed to get the Time off from […]...
11. Перевод слова cattle Cattle – крупный рогатый скот Перевод слова Cattle breeding – скотоводство dairy cattle – молочный скот herd of cattle – стадо коров Male Cattle are bulls. Мужские особи крупного рогатого скота – это быки. The Cattle are all roped in now. Теперь весь скот огражден веревками. The Cattle have to be rounded up and counted. […]...
12. Riding Scooters and Motorcycles Bernadette: When you offered to give me a ride to work, I didn’t know you rode a Motorcycle. I’m not sure about this. Pawel: Come on, put on this Helmet and get on. You’ll get to work much faster. We can zip around cars and go between Lanes. Bernadette: That’s what I’m afraid of. Pawel: […]...
13. Horses painting Once i was working for an Excibition Gallery, as a outdoor cleaner, it was clear bright October day, when i came to my work, i saw a huge amount of stuff as a result of productivity about of 40 horses. Horse police parked here for a 3 hours. What should i do? i noticed a […]...
14. Пословица / поговорка if two ride on a horse, one must ride behind – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: if two ride on a horse, one must ride behind Перевод: когда двое едут на одной лошади, то одному всегда приходится сидеть позади Пример: “How come every time we get together, we always do what you want to do, and never do what I want to do?” “Well, dear, if two ride […]...
15. A blonde decides to try horseback riding A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and then horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse’s mane, […]...
16. Значение идиомы horn in [horn in] {v.}, {slang} To come in without invitation or welcome;interfere. Often used with “on”. Jack would often horn in onconversations discussing things he knew nothing about. Lee hornedin on Ray and Annie and wanted to dance with Annie. Compare: BUTT IN....
17. Перевод слова weekend Weekend – выходные Перевод слова A weekend bender – воскресная попойка weekend guest – гость, приехавший на выходные weekend father – “воскресный” папа I’m free next Weekend. Я свободен в ближайшие выходные. He spent a Weekend in London. Выходные он провел в Лондоне. I never work at the Weekend. Я никогда не работаю по выходным. […]...
18. Перевод слова ride Ride – прогулка; ездить, кататься Перевод слова To ride a good seat – хорошо ездить верхом to ride a bicycle – ездить на велосипеде a ride in a bus – поездка на автобусе I Ride to work in a bus. На работу я езжу на автобусе. Let’s go for a bike Ride. Давай прокатимся на […]...
19. Значение идиомы ride the brake [ride the brake] or [ride the clutch] {v. phr.}, {informal} To keepyour foot on the pedal. Riding the brake is a bad habit for adriver to form....
20. Starting a New Workweek Naomi: Wow, you look like you had a Rough weekend. A little too much Partying, huh? Aaron: You said it. I’m planning To ease into the new Workweek. I need time To chill and to recover. Could you Take a meeting this morning with our new client? Naomi: What will you do? Aaron: I’ll be […]...
21. Значение идиомы plan on [plan on] {v.} 1. To have the plan of; have in mind. – Used with averbal noun. I plan on going to the movies after I finish myhomework. Mary was planning on seeing John at the baseball game. Syn.: FIGURE ON. 2. To think you will do or have; be sure about;expect. I’m hoping to […]...
22. That is ONE! A middle aged rancher in pioneer days of old, had growen tired of working so hard to build a beautiful ranch house and huge herd to go with it. So he thought it would be nice to get one of those mail order brides. Well he sent for one and on the day she was […]...
23. Extreme Sports Celeste: I’m so glad it’s Friday. Are you doing anything this weekend? Ryan: I’m going Snowboarding with James. Celeste: Didn’t you guys go Bungee jumping last weekend? Ryan: Yeah, and we plan to go Cave diving in a couple of weeks. Celeste: I didn’t know you were into Extreme sports. I guess it’s a big […]...
24. Значение идиомы let ride [let ride] {v. phr.}, {informal} To allow to go on without change;accept for the present. The committee couldnot decide what to do about Bob’s idea, so they let the matter ridefor a month or so. The class was rather noisy but the teacher letit ride because it was near Christmas. Ruth’s paper was not verygood, […]...
25. An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. An Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful except that every few minutes […]...
26. Clinton country A guy is sitting at a bar and orders a drink. At the same time the TV go’s on and there is Bill Clinton about to give a speech. The man yells, “There’s a horses ass” A guy gets up and punches him.. And the man left.. Then when Hilary Clinton came on he said […]...
27. They’re Boasting about Race Records Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. “In the last 15 races, I’ve won 8 of them!” Another horse breaks in, “Well in the last 27 races, I’ve won 19!!” “Oh that’s good, but in the last 36 races, I’ve won 28!”, says another, flicking […]...
28. A business man from New York decided to quit his job A business man from New York decided to quit his job and buy a 200 acre spread in Montana. One day while out riding his horse, he came across another man on horseback. The man told him he was his next door neighbor and he was having a get-together the coming weekend. He said: I […]...
29. Shopping for a Cell Phone Salesperson: Hi, Have you been helped? Greg: No, I haven’t. I’m looking for a new phone. Salesperson: Are you With our company right now? Greg: No, I’m thinking about Switching. Salesperson: Okay, let me show you our most popular phone. This one has a lot of good Features. It’s got a Camera phone, a Video […]...
30. Students suspended for riding horses to school Pranks become more common as the school year wraps up for many students. This 2015 story is going viral after being posted on Reddit this week. Two high school seniors were suspended after they rode horses to school as part of “No Vehicle to School Day.” The decision to not use vehicles to get to […]...
31. How the creators of Airplane! pulled off one of the funniest jokes we’ve ever heard Holy hell! This is one of the funniest stories we’ve heard in a long time. Ask yourself, “how far are you willing to go for a joke?” Once you’ve determined that, realize that David Zucker is willing to take it even further. First some background. David Zucker and his brother Jerry Zucker are part of […]...
32. This man was sitting quietly reading his paper This man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife sneaks up behind him and wacks him on the back of his head with a huge frying pan. Man: “What was that for?” Wife: “What was that piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Marylou written […]...
33. Without a horn Judi went to a “Dude Ranch” on vacation. The cowboy preparing the horses asked if she wanted a Western or English saddle. Judi asked what the difference was. “Well, one has a horn and the other doesn’t.” “Just get the one without the horn. I don’t think we’ll run into too much traffic out here.”...
34. Burger conversations M. I. T.: “I had a nervous breakdown this weekend.” “Have some fries.” Caltech: “I had three nervous breakdowns this weekend.” “Have some fries.” Yale: “I got mugged on the way to class today.” “Have some fries.” Brown: “I got a nose ring this weekend, Professor Smith.” “Cool! Me too! Have some fries.” Swarthmore: “I […]...
35. The definition of a phallic symbol This girl walks in to a doctors office and she asks “Whats a failic symbol? Doctor says “you’re kidding..” Girl says “no! I don’t know! Whats a failic symbol???” Doctor pulls his pants and underwear down and says “You see? This is a failic symbol!” Girl says “Oh! Its just like a penis, only smaller”...
36. Значение идиомы hit one’s stride [hit one’s stride] {v. phr.} 1. To walk or run at your best speed;reach your top speed or game. After walking the first mile, Jim wasjust hitting his stride. The horse began to hit his stride andmoved ahead of the other horses in the race. 2. To do your best work;do the best job you […]...
37. Перевод слова plan Plan – план; составлять план, проектировать Перевод слова Five-year plan – пятилетний план to plan a piece of work – спланировать какую-л. работу the school was planned for 500 pupils – школа была запроектирована на пятьсот учащихся He agreed to my Plan. Он принял мой план. The Plan worked out. План сработал. His Plan petered […]...
38. Correcting and Explaining in Conversation Danny: You look like you need To relax. Sybil: Excuse me? Danny: What I mean is, you look like you could use some R and R. Sybil: I didn’t know I looked tired and Worn out. Danny: No, What I’m trying to say is, people need Leisure time once in a while. Sybil: Yes, that’s […]...
39. Значение идиомы come a cropper [come a cropper] 1. To fall off your horse. John’s horse stumbled, and John came a cropper. 2. To fail. Mr. Brown did not have enough money to put into his business and it soon came a cropper. Compare: RIDING FOR A FALL....
40. Перевод слова horse Horse – лошадь, конь Перевод слова Horse breeding – разведение лошадей draught horse – упряжная лошадь heavy draught horse – тяжеловоз Caparison my Horse. Седлай моего коня! He jumped his Horse. Он заставил лошадь прыгнуть. The Horse is in form. Лошадь вполне подготовлена к бегам....