Two executives working in the garment center are having lunch together

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1. The last day working«You Know It’s Your Last Day At Work When……» You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when she asks, «What’s this?», you realize you just dropped the company’s deposit in a mailbox. A woman comes into the store, you turn to the other salesman and say, «I waited on the last fat ugly old ... Читать далее...
2. Значение идиомы foundation garment[foundation garment] {n.} A close-fitting garment designed forwomen to wear underneath their clothes to make them look slim; a pieceof woman’s underwear. Jane wears a foundation garment under herevening dress....
3. Перевод слова creditCredit — доверие; кредит, долг Перевод слова To lose credit — потерять доверие he is a man of credit — он человек, пользующийся хорошей репутацией credit card — кредитная карта This is much Credit to you. Это большая честь для вас. He is a man of the highest Credit. Он человек отличной репутации. Can I ... Читать далее...
4. Having Bad CreditAlisha: This is the second time I’ve been Turned down for a credit card in a month. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. James: Have you checked your Credit report recently? Maybe you have a bad Credit rating. Alisha: I have a full-time job with a good Income, which they can easily Verify, and ... Читать далее...
5. Перевод слова cardCard — карточка, пластиковая карта, открытка, визитка Перевод слова Credit card — кредитная карта greeting card — поздравительная открытка postal card — почтовая карточка, открытка That’s the Card. Вот это именно то, что нужно. Let’s play Cards. Давайте играть в карты. Can I pay by credit Card? Могу ли я заплатить кредитной картой?...
6. Working in the gardenA prisioner in jail received a letter from his wife: «I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?» The prisioner, knowing that the prison guards read all the mail, replied in a letter: «Dear Wife, whatever you do, DO NOT touch the back garden! ... Читать далее...
7. Subjects for a dateA boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father replies: «My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy.» The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. ... Читать далее...
8. Значение идиомы charge up[charge up] {v. phr.} 1. To submit to a flow of electricity in order to make functional. I mustn’t forget to charge up my razor before we go on our trip. 2. To use up all the available credit one has on one’s credit card. «Let’s charge dinner on the Master Card,» Jane said. «Unfortunately ... Читать далее...
9. Steve, Bob and Jeff are working on a very high scaffoldingSteve, Bob and Jeff are working on a very high scaffolding. Suddenly, Steve falls off. He is killed instantaneously. After the ambulance leaves with Steve’s body, Bob and Jeff realize they’ll have to inform his wife. Bob says he’s good at this sort of sensitive stuff, so he volunteers to do the job. After two ... Читать далее...
10. Riding the SubwayMisha: I’d like to buy a Token for the Subway. Clerk: The subway doesn’t use tokens anymore. Misha: Oh? I didn’t know that. It’s been a few years since I visited New York. How do I pay for the Fare? Clerk: You can buy a ticket for a Single ride that Expires two hours after ... Читать далее...
11. Three couples wanted to join a churchThree couples, an elderly couple, a middle aged couple and a young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor says, «We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks.» The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. The pastor goes to the ... Читать далее...
12. Small Talk at a Business LunchJames: Hello, are you Muriel Douglas? Muriel: Yes, and You must be James. It’s nice to meet you At long last. James: Yes, you too. Thanks for agreeing to meet with us about the new account. My Associate, Susan Kim, Should be here any minute. Would you like something to drink while we’re waiting? Muriel: ... Читать далее...
13. Arkansas Mother Writes Her SonARKANSAS MOTHER WRITES HER SON Dearest Redneck Son, I’m writing this slow because I know you can’t read fast. We don’t live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I won’t be able to send you ... Читать далее...
14. A man was taking his wifeA man was taking his wife, who was pregnant with twins, to the hospital when his car went out of control and crashed. Upon regaining consciousness, he saw his brother, a relentless world-class practical joker, sitting at his bed side. He asked his brother how his wife was and his brother replied, «Don’t worry, everybody ... Читать далее...
15. Last LunchThree steel workers were having lunch at the construction site, a 20 story building. The first worker is Italian and when he looks in his lunch box, he exclaims, «Oh, no, if I have to eat spaghetti for lunch one more time, I going to jump off the 20th floor and kill myself.» The second ... Читать далее...
16. Naming the kidsOne day, Mr. Phillard rushed his pregnant wife over to the hospital. As the doctors were prepping his wife, Mr. Phillard’s idiot brother Bill arrived to watch the birth. But when Mr. Phillard saw the blood and everything else, he fainted. When Mr. Phillard woke up he was in a bed with the doctor standing ... Читать далее...
17. Accepting Credit CardsDanny: Are you sure we should start accepting credit cards from our customers? We’ve always been a Cash-only business. Katy: I think we need to for the convenience of our customers. It won’t be as big a Nuisance as you think, with this new Cash register. Danny: The instructions say the Merchant has to swipe ... Читать далее...
18. Checking into a HotelI Flew into Atlanta the afternoon before a Big meeting. I Hailed a taxi at the airport and told the driver the name of the hotel. I asked him How long it would take to get there. He said it would only be 20 minutes. I sat back and relaxed. We got to the hotel ... Читать далее...
19. The wife is not speaking to meOne night, this guy come into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. Then he asks for another. After a couple more drinks, the bartender gets worried. «What’s the matter?» the bartender asks. «My wife and I got into a fight,» explained the guy «and now she isn’t talking to me for a ... Читать далее...
20. Returning a DVD PlayerI bought a new DVD player last weekend. When I got home and Hooked it up, I realized that it was Defective. I Trudged back to the store to return it. Clerk: Next, please. Jeff: Hi, I bought this DVD player last Saturday and I’d like to Return it. Clerk: What’s the reason for the ... Читать далее...
21. Returning a DVD PlayerI bought a new DVD player last weekend. When I got home and Hooked it up, I realized that it was Defective. I Trudged back to the store to return it. Clerk: Next, please. Jeff: Hi, I bought this DVD player last Saturday and I’d like to Return it. Clerk: What’s the reason for the ... Читать далее...
22. Leasing Business EquipmentOlena: We need To keep pace with changing technology, but how are we going To raise capital to upgrade our Equipment? Joel: I’m not sure. Maybe we can find a Supplier who will Extend credit to us. We can pay in Installments. Olena: That’ll be hard to do. No one wants to extend credit these ... Читать далее...
23. An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a barAn Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar, drinking, and discussing how stupid their wives were. The Englishman says, «I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought $300 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don’t even have a ... Читать далее...
24. Two men met at a bar and struck up a conversationTwo men met at a bar and struck up a conversation. After a while one of them said, «You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation: A few years ago I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter and we got married. Lately, my father married my stepdaughter. That made my stepdaughter ... Читать далее...
25. Using Different Payment SystemsPetra: Damn! That didn’t work either. Ken: What are you doing? Petra: I’m trying to pay for a new service I ordered, but the website won’t accept my Credit card as Payment. I even tried my Debit card, but it’s been Rejected, too. Ken: Why don’t you just write a Check and mail it in? ... Читать далее...
26. Using Different Payment SystemsPetra: Damn! That didn’t work either. Ken: What are you doing? Petra: I’m trying to pay for a new service I ordered, but the website won’t accept my Credit card as Payment. I even tried my Debit card, but it’s been Rejected, too. Ken: Why don’t you just write a Check and mail it in? ... Читать далее...
27. Using Frequent Flyer MilesAnne: Where were you this past weekend? I tried calling you on Friday to see if you wanted to go to the movies with me. Jurgen: I was in Chicago for a Long weekend. Anne: Chicago? I didn’t know you were planning a trip. I thought you were pretty Strapped this month. A ticket to ... Читать далее...
28. My Working Day (6)В топике Мой рабочий день (6) я рассказываю о буднем дне и о занятиях в школе (или на работе). По утрам я встаю в 7 часов утра, делаю зарядку, убираю постель, умываюсь, одеваюсь и завтракаю. Иногда я сама готовлю завтрак. После школы (или работы) я выполняю домашнее задание и некоторую работу по дому. Позже я ... Читать далее...
29. Being in DebtChang: I don’t mean to be nosey, but all of those bills are red or pink. Are you Behind on all of those bills? Ilya: I am, but it’s no big deal. I can catch up on them next month. Chang: You know that being late on bills is bad for your credit score, right? ... Читать далее...
30. Working as a LobbyistCody: You’re not the kind of person I would expect to work as a Lobbyist. Jada: Why not? Cody: I Picture lobbyists as being kind of Pushy and Corrupt, using Underhanded tactics. Jada: It’s not like that at all, at least not for me. I just use my Powers of persuasion to help my clients. ... Читать далее...
31. It is all in the moneyA couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon. Trying to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded, «If it weren’t for my money, we wouldn’t be here at all!» The wife replied, «My dear, if it weren’t for your money, ... Читать далее...
32. Значение идиомы card[card] See: CREDIT CARD, FLASH CARD, HOUSE OF CARDS, IN THE CARDS or ON THE CARDS, LAY ONE’S CARDS ON THE TABLE, PLAY ONE’S CARDS RIGHT, PUT ONE’S CARDS ON THE TABLE, STACK THE CARDS, TRUMP CARD....
33. Going crazy with confusionA psychiatrist visited a California mental institution and asked a patient, «How did you get here? What was the nature of your illness?» He got the following reply. «Well, it all started when I got married and I guess I should never have done it. I married a widow with a grown daughter who then ... Читать далее...
34. Reality T. VIt’s hard to watch TV these days without seeing Reality shows. Some nights, it’s hard to find a Scripted Drama to watch. There are so many different kinds of reality shows, too. The most popular one in the U. S. has been the «American Idol» show. This is a singing competition where Amateurs try to ... Читать далее...
35. Marriage quotes 05Dear Mrs, Mr, Miss, or Mr and Mrs Daneeka: Words cannot express the deep personal grief I experienced when your husband, son, father or brother was killed, wounded, or reported missing in action. — Catch-22 Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would look stout in a fur coat. Don’t marry for money; ... Читать далее...
36. My Working Day — Мой рабочий день (1)On week days I usually get up nearly six o’clock. I do not like to get up early, but I have to, because I have a lot of work to do during the day. I make my bed, wash my face, put my clothes on and go to the kitchen to have breakfast. My mother ... Читать далее...
37. A Canadian, a Scotsman, and an AustralianA Canadian, a Scotsman, and an Australian are in a bar discussing the mental abilities of their wives. The Canadian says, «You know my wife must be the most stupid woman in the world. She went to a supermarket sale and bought $900 worth of meat, and we don’t even have a freezer! The Scotsman ... Читать далее...
38. Life is cruelWhat women want in a relationship: A handsome, loving professional man who will just love them for who they are. What women get: A fat, balding fart machine who stays with them only because no other woman wants him. What men want in a woman: A combination of Carol Brady and Pamela Lee Anderson; Wonderful ... Читать далее...
39. Marriage quotes 11My other wife is beautiful. My wife doesn’t care what I do away from home, as long as I don’t enjoy it. My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them. My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him! My wife says if I go fishing one ... Читать далее...
40. The RabbiThere is a story about a popular young rabbi, who on Sabbath eve announces to the congregation that he will not renew his contract and is moving on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush. No one wants him to leave. Epstein, who owns several car dealerships, stands up ... Читать далее...