Two executives working in the garment center are having lunch together
Two executives working in the garment center are having lunch together. Goldstein says to his friend, “Last week was one of the worst weeks of my entire life.”
“What happened?” asks Birnbaum.
Goldstein moans, “My wife and I went to Florida on vacation. It rained for seven days and seven nights, so my wife went out and spent thousands of dollars on the credit card. I came back to New York and found out that my brother-in-law accountant has been ripping me off for millions. And, to top it all off, when I came in to work on Monday morning, I found my son having sex with the garment model on my desk!”
“You think you had a bad week?” responds Birnbaum. “My week was even worse! I went to Florida on vacation with my wife and it rained for seven days and seven nights, so my wife went out and spent thousands on the credit card. Then, when I got back to New York, I found out that my brother-in-law accountant has been ripping me off for millions. And, to top it all off, when I came in to work on Monday morning, I found my son having sex with the garment model on my desk!”
“How can you say that your week was worse than mine?” asks Goldstein. “It was identical!”
“You shmuck!” replies Birnbaum. “I manufacture men’s garments…”
Related topics:
- Значение идиомы foundation garment [foundation garment] {n.} A close-fitting garment designed forwomen to wear underneath their clothes to make them look slim; a pieceof woman’s underwear. Jane wears a foundation garment under herevening dress....
- Перевод слова credit Credit – доверие; кредит, долг Перевод слова To lose credit – потерять доверие he is a man of credit – он человек, пользующийся хорошей репутацией credit card – кредитная карта This is much Credit to you. Это большая честь для вас. He is a man of the highest Credit. Он человек отличной репутации. Can I […]...
- Having Bad Credit Alisha: This is the second time I’ve been Turned down for a credit card in a month. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. James: Have you checked your Credit report recently? Maybe you have a bad Credit rating. Alisha: I have a full-time job with a good Income, which they can easily Verify, and […]...
- Перевод слова card Card – карточка, пластиковая карта, открытка, визитка Перевод слова Credit card – кредитная карта greeting card – поздравительная открытка postal card – почтовая карточка, открытка That’s the Card. Вот это именно то, что нужно. Let’s play Cards. Давайте играть в карты. Can I pay by credit Card? Могу ли я заплатить кредитной картой?...
- Working in the garden A prisioner in jail received a letter from his wife: “I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?” The prisioner, knowing that the prison guards read all the mail, replied in a letter: “Dear Wife, whatever you do, DO NOT touch the back garden! […]...
- Love thy Neighbor The middle-aged married couple finally moved into the Condo of their dreams, but right next door to a very sexy fashion model. The husband had taken to borrowing this or that from their neighbor and it seemed to the wife that it always took him way too long to return. One time the wife had […]...
- The last day working “You Know It’s Your Last Day At Work When……” You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when she asks, “What’s this?”, you realize you just dropped the company’s deposit in a mailbox. A woman comes into the store, you turn to the other salesman and say, “I waited on the last fat ugly old […]...
- Значение идиомы charge up [charge up] {v. phr.} 1. To submit to a flow of electricity in order to make functional. I mustn’t forget to charge up my razor before we go on our trip. 2. To use up all the available credit one has on one’s credit card. “Let’s charge dinner on the Master Card,” Jane said. “Unfortunately […]...
- Small Talk at a Business Lunch James: Hello, are you Muriel Douglas? Muriel: Yes, and You must be James. It’s nice to meet you At long last. James: Yes, you too. Thanks for agreeing to meet with us about the new account. My Associate, Susan Kim, Should be here any minute. Would you like something to drink while we’re waiting? Muriel: […]...
- A man was taking his wife A man was taking his wife, who was pregnant with twins, to the hospital when his car went out of control and crashed. Upon regaining consciousness, he saw his brother, a relentless world-class practical joker, sitting at his bed side. He asked his brother how his wife was and his brother replied, “Don’t worry, everybody […]...
- Last Lunch Three steel workers were having lunch at the construction site, a 20 story building. The first worker is Italian and when he looks in his lunch box, he exclaims, “Oh, no, if I have to eat spaghetti for lunch one more time, I going to jump off the 20th floor and kill myself.” The second […]...
- Naming the kids One day, Mr. Phillard rushed his pregnant wife over to the hospital. As the doctors were prepping his wife, Mr. Phillard’s idiot brother Bill arrived to watch the birth. But when Mr. Phillard saw the blood and everything else, he fainted. When Mr. Phillard woke up he was in a bed with the doctor standing […]...
- Accepting Credit Cards Danny: Are you sure we should start accepting credit cards from our customers? We’ve always been a Cash-only business. Katy: I think we need to for the convenience of our customers. It won’t be as big a Nuisance as you think, with this new Cash register. Danny: The instructions say the Merchant has to swipe […]...
- Checking into a Hotel I Flew into Atlanta the afternoon before a Big meeting. I Hailed a taxi at the airport and told the driver the name of the hotel. I asked him How long it would take to get there. He said it would only be 20 minutes. I sat back and relaxed. We got to the hotel […]...
- Returning a DVD Player I bought a new DVD player last weekend. When I got home and Hooked it up, I realized that it was Defective. I Trudged back to the store to return it. Clerk: Next, please. Jeff: Hi, I bought this DVD player last Saturday and I’d like to Return it. Clerk: What’s the reason for the […]...
- Returning a DVD Player I bought a new DVD player last weekend. When I got home and Hooked it up, I realized that it was Defective. I Trudged back to the store to return it. Clerk: Next, please. Jeff: Hi, I bought this DVD player last Saturday and I’d like to Return it. Clerk: What’s the reason for the […]...
- An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar, drinking, and discussing how stupid their wives were. The Englishman says, “I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought $300 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don’t even have a […]...
- Two men met at a bar and struck up a conversation Two men met at a bar and struck up a conversation. After a while one of them said, “You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation: A few years ago I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter and we got married. Lately, my father married my stepdaughter. That made my stepdaughter […]...
- Using Different Payment Systems Petra: Damn! That didn’t work either. Ken: What are you doing? Petra: I’m trying to pay for a new service I ordered, but the website won’t accept my Credit card as Payment. I even tried my Debit card, but it’s been Rejected, too. Ken: Why don’t you just write a Check and mail it in? […]...
- Using Different Payment Systems Petra: Damn! That didn’t work either. Ken: What are you doing? Petra: I’m trying to pay for a new service I ordered, but the website won’t accept my Credit card as Payment. I even tried my Debit card, but it’s been Rejected, too. Ken: Why don’t you just write a Check and mail it in? […]...
- Riding the Subway Misha: I’d like to buy a Token for the Subway. Clerk: The subway doesn’t use tokens anymore. Misha: Oh? I didn’t know that. It’s been a few years since I visited New York. How do I pay for the Fare? Clerk: You can buy a ticket for a Single ride that Expires two hours after […]...
- Using Frequent Flyer Miles Anne: Where were you this past weekend? I tried calling you on Friday to see if you wanted to go to the movies with me. Jurgen: I was in Chicago for a Long weekend. Anne: Chicago? I didn’t know you were planning a trip. I thought you were pretty Strapped this month. A ticket to […]...
- Being in Debt Chang: I don’t mean to be nosey, but all of those bills are red or pink. Are you Behind on all of those bills? Ilya: I am, but it’s no big deal. I can catch up on them next month. Chang: You know that being late on bills is bad for your credit score, right? […]...
- Перевод слова model Model – модель, макет, шаблон Перевод слова Working model – действующая модель constructed after model – сконструировано по образцу a sports model – спортивная модель He was a Model of polite restraint. Он был образцом вежливой сдержанности. As a girl she has been a Model pupil. В детстве она была примерной ученицей. This ideal Model […]...
- Working as a Lobbyist Cody: You’re not the kind of person I would expect to work as a Lobbyist. Jada: Why not? Cody: I Picture lobbyists as being kind of Pushy and Corrupt, using Underhanded tactics. Jada: It’s not like that at all, at least not for me. I just use my Powers of persuasion to help my clients. […]...
- Значение идиомы card [card] See: CREDIT CARD, FLASH CARD, HOUSE OF CARDS, IN THE CARDS or ON THE CARDS, LAY ONE’S CARDS ON THE TABLE, PLAY ONE’S CARDS RIGHT, PUT ONE’S CARDS ON THE TABLE, STACK THE CARDS, TRUMP CARD....
- Going crazy with confusion A psychiatrist visited a California mental institution and asked a patient, “How did you get here? What was the nature of your illness?” He got the following reply. “Well, it all started when I got married and I guess I should never have done it. I married a widow with a grown daughter who then […]...
- A Canadian, a Scotsman, and an Australian A Canadian, a Scotsman, and an Australian are in a bar discussing the mental abilities of their wives. The Canadian says, “You know my wife must be the most stupid woman in the world. She went to a supermarket sale and bought $900 worth of meat, and we don’t even have a freezer! The Scotsman […]...
- Marriage quotes 05 Dear Mrs, Mr, Miss, or Mr and Mrs Daneeka: Words cannot express the deep personal grief I experienced when your husband, son, father or brother was killed, wounded, or reported missing in action. – Catch-22 Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would look stout in a fur coat. Don’t marry for money; […]...
- Marriage quotes 11 My other wife is beautiful. My wife doesn’t care what I do away from home, as long as I don’t enjoy it. My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them. My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him! My wife says if I go fishing one […]...
- Life is cruel What women want in a relationship: A handsome, loving professional man who will just love them for who they are. What women get: A fat, balding fart machine who stays with them only because no other woman wants him. What men want in a woman: A combination of Carol Brady and Pamela Lee Anderson; Wonderful […]...
- I think I try a nicer approach Every night, after dinner, a man took off for the local tavern. He spent the whole evening there, and arrived home very drunk around midnight each night. He always had trouble getting his key into the keyhole and getting the door opened. His wife, waiting up for him, would go to the door and let […]...
- Leasing Business Equipment Olena: We need To keep pace with changing technology, but how are we going To raise capital to upgrade our Equipment? Joel: I’m not sure. Maybe we can find a Supplier who will Extend credit to us. We can pay in Installments. Olena: That’ll be hard to do. No one wants to extend credit these […]...
- Where are my pyjamas? A man calls his wife and says to her, “Honey, I just got the chance of a lifetime to go on a week-long fishing trip with my boss. Could you pack up my things so that they will be ready when I get home?” “Sure, honey,” his wife answers.”Oh, and could you please pack my […]...
- Staying In It’s Friday night and my Roommate and I feel like Staying in. We’ve both had a Tough week at work and decided to have a Low-key evening. On my way home, I stopped at the Video rental store And rented a couple of movies. I got a New release and a Classic. I thought I […]...
- Значение идиомы do credit [do credit] or [do credit to] also [do proud] To add to or improve the reputation, good name, honor, or esteem of; show deserve praise. Your neat appearance does you credit. Mary’s painting would do credit to a real artist....
- The guide to wife translations The wife says: You want The wife means: You want The wife says: We need The wife means: I want The wife says: It’s your decision The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious The wife says: Do what you want The wife means: You’ll pay for this later The wife says: We need […]...
- My Working Day (3) В топике Мой рабочий День (3) я рассказываю, как обычно проходит мой день. Мы встаем в 6 часов утра, завтракаем, выгуливаем и кормим собаку и отправляемся на работу. Я подвожу Марту до работы, затем еду в институт, паркую машину и отправляюсь в офис, где работаю до 4:30 дня, затем возвращаюсь, вместе с Мартой, домой. Вечером […]...
- A Letter from Account Receivables DATE COMPANY ADDRESS CITY, STATE, ZIP Attention: _____________________ Dear ____________________, Will you get off your dead ass and take care of your obligations! We are still holding the insufficient check that we called you on over a month ago. I know you told me you were waiting to get paid for a job that was […]...
- Steve, Bob and Jeff are working on a very high scaffolding Steve, Bob and Jeff are working on a very high scaffolding. Suddenly, Steve falls off. He is killed instantaneously. After the ambulance leaves with Steve’s body, Bob and Jeff realize they’ll have to inform his wife. Bob says he’s good at this sort of sensitive stuff, so he volunteers to do the job. After two […]...