The only wish

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1. A recently divorced woman is walking along the beach A recently divorced woman is walking along the beach contemplating how badly screwed she got over the divorce settlement, when she spies a magic lamp washing up onshore. She rubs the lamp, and out pops a magical genie!! The genie notices her anger and lets her vent her troubles to him. As a consolation, the […]...
2. An explorer goes into an undiscovered tomb An explorer goes into an undiscovered tomb for the first time, and in the center of the tomb there is a lamp. So he picked it up and started to rub the dirt off of it, and out came a genie out of the lamp and he said “I want to know the person you […]...
3. This black guy is walking along a beach when This black guy is walking along a beach when he looks down a sees an antique lamp. Thinking that he’ll get enough money for another vial of crack, he takes the bottle home and starts to clean it. He starts rubbing the lamp, when all of a sudden a Jewish genie appears, and being a […]...
4. Leprechaun Jokes Three guys, one Irish, one English, and one Scottish, are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. “I will give you each one wish, that’s three wishes in total”, says the Genie. The Scottish guy says, “I am a fisherman, my Dad’s […]...
5. The third wish A young man fell in a pit one day, and found a magic lamp with a genie inside of it. The genie said, ‘I will grant you three wishes.’ The man’s first wish was to get out of the pit. **POOF** He was instantly transported out. He then wished for all the gold in the […]...
6. Ass-corked Two guys are in a locker room when one guy notices the other guy has a cork in his ass. He says, “How’d you get a cork in your ass?” The other guy says, “I was walking along the beach and I tripped over a lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a […]...
7. Перевод сленгового выражения yadda yadda yadda, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: yadda yadda yadda Перевод: фраза, означающая “и так далее”, “и тому подобное”; обычно употребляется по отношению к чему-либо несущественному, или надоедливому и скучному Синоним: blah blah blah Пример: Our history teacher told us about the Civil War, the election of 1880, yadda yadda yadda. Наш учитель по истории рассказал нам о Гражданской войне, […]...
8. Once upon a time a man was walking down Once upon a time a man was walking down the street. He saw an ancient oil lamp in an ash can and, thinking of the Aladdin legend, he picked up and rubbed it. Sure enough, out popped a genie. “Master, I shall now grant you one wish.” The man spoke, his eyes bulging with desire. […]...
9. Значение идиомы at sea [at sea ] {adv.} or {adj. phr.} 1. On an ocean voyage; on a journey by ship. They had first met at sea. 2. Out on the ocean; away from land. By the second day the ship was well out at sea. Charles had visited a ship in dock, but he had never been on […]...
10. Love handles One day as Monica Lewinsky was walking along the beach awaiting her Senate trial testimony, she came upon an ornate bottle that had washed up on shore. Curious, she picked it up, brushed off the sand, and lo and behold a genie popped out. “Greetings, Miss Lewinsky,” the genie said. “Since you have released me, […]...
11. Перевод слова lamp Lamp – лампа, фонарь Перевод слова Electric lamp – электрическая лампа head lamp – автомобильная фара to plug in a lamp – включать лампу в розетку That Lamp belongs on the desk. Эта лампа обычно стоит на письменном столе. She knocked over the Lamp. Она опрокинула лампу. The bedside Lamp glowed dimly. Прикроватная лампа тускло […]...
12. Перевод слова heat Heat – жара, зной, жар, нагревать Перевод слова Summer heat – летний зной to suffer from the heat – страдать от жары her face flushed with sudden heat – ее щеки вдруг запылали to heat up some water – нагреть воды Heat makes you sweat. Из-за жары вы потеете. The room Heated up quickly. Комната […]...
13. The wife is not speaking to me 1 A construction worker walks into a bar. He’s a rather large, menacing guy. He orders a beer, chugs it back, and bellows, “All you guys on this side of the bar are a bunch of idiots!” A sudden silence descends. After a moment he asks “Anyone got a problem with that?” The silence lengthens. He […]...
14. Tombstone Epitaph X The grave of Ellen Shannon in Girard, Pennsylvania is almost a consumer tip: Who was fatally burned March 21, 1870 by the explosion of a lamp filled with “R. E. Danforth’s Non-Explosive Burning Fluid”...
15. Three guys go into a bar, one in a wheelchair, one Three guys go into a bar, one in a wheelchair, one is blind and the other appears normal. A couple of minutes later, God walks in to get a beer. He sees the guys and decides to have compassion on them. He touches the blind guy on the forehead, and his sight is restored. He […]...
16. Перевод сленгового выражения outta here, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: outta here Перевод: фраза, означающая, что кто-либо уходит Пример: I’m outta here! See you next week! Я ухожу! Увидимся на следующей неделе!...
17. The World Environment The world environment means simply what is around us. Some people live in towns, other in the country. There are a lot of ecological problems.. The most serious ecological problems are: noise from cars and buses; destruction of wildlife and countryside beauty; shortage of natural resources; the growth of population; pollution in its many forms […]...
18. Перевод слова beer Beer – пиво Перевод слова Ginger beer – имбирное пиво to brew beer – варить пиво beer bust – пивное сборище I’d like a Beer now! Мне бы пива сейчас! He drank a jar of Beer. Он выпил банку пива. I’ll have a Beer, please. Мне пива, пожалуйста....
19. Перевод идиомы let the genie out of the bottle, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: let the genie out of the bottle Перевод: выпустить джина из бутылки; допустить что-либо плохое, нежелательное, чего уже не остановить Пример: Now the press has let the genie out of the bottle, the question is what happens next. Пресса выпустила джина из бутылки, вопрос теперь в том, что будет дальше....
20. Ten Signs That You’re At A Bad Zoo 1. When no one else is looking, you swear that the monkeys are mocking you. 2. The Bears exhibit is nothing more than the guys cut from the football team during training camp. 3. The stripes on the zebra tend to peel away in the heat. 4. The Zookeeper always wants to take the Rhino […]...
21. Перевод слова ocean Ocean – океан Перевод слова Ocean basin – бассейн океана ocean chart – карта океана ocean monster – морское чудовище ocean of air – воздушный океан I had cried Oceans of tears. Я выплакала море слез. The wind came off the Ocean. С океана дул ветер. He searched for treasure on the Ocean bed. Он […]...
22. Why’d the monkey fall outta the tree? Why’d the monkey fall outta the tree? ’cause he was dead… Why’d the other monkey fall outta the tree? ’cause he was dead too… Why’d the third monkey fall outta the tree? Peer pressure…...
23. The Cesium song 10 Cesium (All through the Night) (Tune, Fever) (1) Never know how much I need you, Never know how much I’d dare, When I mix you up with water, I get a heat that’s hard to bear. I need my Cesium! Burnin’ brightly, Cesium to give me light. Cesium – In the morning, Cesium all through […]...
24. The New Zumwalt Stealth Destroyer Is Too Stealthy The USS Zumwalt departs the coast of Maine for its final builder trials on March 21, 2016 The USS Zumwalt, a Navy destroyer years in the making, is a floating piece of technological wonder. But the neatest feature is tricking nearby radar into thinking its massive 610-foot hull is actually just a 50-foot fishing boat. […]...
25. Значение идиомы burn up [burn up] {v.} 1. To burn completely; destroy or be destroyed by fire. Mr. Scott was burning up old letters. The house burned up before the firemen got there. 2. {informal} To irritate, anger, annoy. The boy’s laziness and rudeness burned up his teacher. The breakdown of his new car burned Mr. Jones up....
26. Jokes of science 02 The experimentalist comes running excitedly into the theorist’s office, waving a graph taken off his latest experiment. “Hmmm,” says the theorist, “That’s exactly where you’d expect to see that peak. Here’s the reason (long logical explanation follows).” In the middle of it, the experimentalist says “Wait a minute”, studies the chart for a second, and […]...
27. Isaac and Hymie were two tired Brooklyn businessmen who Isaac and Hymie were two tired Brooklyn businessmen who were ordered to take a Caribbean cruise by their doctors. The second night out on the way to Martinique they were leaning against the rail, looking at the big bright tropical moon on the sea, really starting to unwind. Suddenly the rail broke and both Jews […]...
28. An abstract joke Two bananas are lying on a river bank when a turd comes floating by. The turd looks over and says, “Hey! Come on in! The water’s fine!” One banana turns to the other banana and says, “Do you believe that shit?”...
29. Magician and Parrot Magician and Parrot A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain’s parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician […]...
30. Перевод слова ship Ship – судно, корабль; перевозить Перевод слова Merchant ship – торговое судно ship of war – военный корабль to ship goods by rail – перевозить груз по железной дороге All the people were Shipped. Все поднялись на борт. The Ship will unload tomorrow. Судно будет разгружаться завтра. It was among the first firms to Ship […]...
31. Two ears burned A guy burned two ears… so they were asking him at the hospital how it happened. He said, “I was ironing my clothing and the phone rang… so instead of the phone I picked up the iron and burned my ear…” “But how the heck did you burn the other ear?” The doctor asked. “How […]...
32. Titanic As you know, the 3-hour-14-minute film “Titanic” is no mere disaster movie. It’s an epic love story about a 17-year-old American aristocrat who is betrothed to a rich and hateful suitor but falls in love with a free-spirited artist, who won his third-class passage in a card game. It’s “Romeo and Juliet” on a sinking […]...
33. What are the five reasons for not wanting to be an egg? What are the five reasons for not wanting to be an egg? 1) You only get laid once. 2) You only get eaten once. 3) It takes you seven min. to get hard in boiling water. 4) You have to come in a box with 11 other guys. 5) The only one that ever sits […]...
34. Can bubble bath keep a bath warm for longer? Question Hi. I sometimes like a nice warm bath in the winter. After a while, the bath gets colder. I know there are a few ways that the bath can lose heat, but does a thick layer of bubbles on the top make any significant difference to the heat retention? Answer We put this to […]...
35. Значение идиомы canned heat [canned heat] {n.} Chemicals in a can which burn with a hot, smokeless flame. Some people use canned heat to keep food warm. The mountain climbers used canned heat for cooking....
36. Environment Our planet Earth is only a tiny part of the universe, but nowadays it’s the only place where we can live. People have lived on our planet for many years. They lived and live on different continents, in different countries. People depend on their planet, the sun, animals and plants around them. Environment is everything […]...
37. Значение идиомы put in [put in] {v.} 1. To add to what has been said; say inaddition to what others say. While the boys were discussing the caraccident, Ben put in that the road was icy. My father put in aword for me and I got the job. 2. To buy and keep in a store to sell. He […]...
38. A German tourist walks into a McDonald’s in New York City A German tourist walks into a McDonald’s in New York City and orders a beer. (In Germany and many parts of Europe, McDonald’s actually does serve beer.) The local guy in the line behind him immediately gives him the jab: “They don’t serve BEER here, you MORON!” The German fellow felt pretty stupid, but suddenly […]...
39. And yet another college dorm joke I have lived in several different houses with a bunch of guys. Needless to say things got pretty rowdy sometimes and many were victims of some pretty funny jokes. One of the favorites as I recall (and still is) is to go into the bathroom while the victim is taking a shower, and pour a […]...
40. Water pollution Water pollution is one of the famous and one of the largest problems in our world. People in Africa cannot drink clean water; their children die because a big part of our water has been polluted. Children in Kenya often have to go many kilometers to collect drinking water. At all over 2 million people […]...