Once upon a time a man was walking down

Related topics:

1. A recently divorced woman is walking along the beach A recently divorced woman is walking along the beach contemplating how badly screwed she got over the divorce settlement, when she spies a magic lamp washing up onshore. She rubs the lamp, and out pops a magical genie!! The genie notices her anger and lets her vent her troubles to him. As a consolation, the […]...
2. This black guy is walking along a beach when This black guy is walking along a beach when he looks down a sees an antique lamp. Thinking that he’ll get enough money for another vial of crack, he takes the bottle home and starts to clean it. He starts rubbing the lamp, when all of a sudden a Jewish genie appears, and being a […]...
3. The third wish A young man fell in a pit one day, and found a magic lamp with a genie inside of it. The genie said, ‘I will grant you three wishes.’ The man’s first wish was to get out of the pit. **POOF** He was instantly transported out. He then wished for all the gold in the […]...
4. Love handles One day as Monica Lewinsky was walking along the beach awaiting her Senate trial testimony, she came upon an ornate bottle that had washed up on shore. Curious, she picked it up, brushed off the sand, and lo and behold a genie popped out. “Greetings, Miss Lewinsky,” the genie said. “Since you have released me, […]...
5. An explorer goes into an undiscovered tomb An explorer goes into an undiscovered tomb for the first time, and in the center of the tomb there is a lamp. So he picked it up and started to rub the dirt off of it, and out came a genie out of the lamp and he said “I want to know the person you […]...
6. The only wish Two guys of limited intelligence were on a ship that sank in the middle of the ocean. They managed to inflate a rubber life raft and grab a box of provisions before their ship slipped below the surface. After floating under blazing heat for 6 days they ran out of food and water. On the […]...
7. The Christmas diet song ‘Twas the night before Christmas and all round my hips were Fannie May candies that sneaked past my lips. Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with care in hopes that my thighs would forget they were there. While Mama in her girdle and I in chin straps had just settled down to sugar-borne naps. […]...
8. This guy was walking down a street in Texas and this hooker This guy was walking down a street in Texas and this hooker says, “Say, wanna have a good time? We do things in a big way down here in Texas.” “Sure,” he says and they were off to the nearest motel. She takes off her clothes and he keeps staring at her. She says, “Is […]...
9. Ass-corked Two guys are in a locker room when one guy notices the other guy has a cork in his ass. He says, “How’d you get a cork in your ass?” The other guy says, “I was walking along the beach and I tripped over a lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a […]...
10. Leprechaun Jokes Three guys, one Irish, one English, and one Scottish, are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. “I will give you each one wish, that’s three wishes in total”, says the Genie. The Scottish guy says, “I am a fisherman, my Dad’s […]...
11. Being Socially Popular Rosa: Has the mail come yet? Grant: We didn’t get any mail today. Rosa: Damn it! Grant: What’s the matter? Rosa: I’m waiting for an invitation from Joanna to her birthday party. I heard that she’s having a big Bash and it’s going to be the party of the season. Grant: You’re Worked up over […]...
12. Перевод слова grant-in-aid Grant-in-aid – дотация, субсидия Перевод слова Grant-in-aid system – система субсидий grant-in-aid for scientific research – предоставление гранта для проведения научных исследований We receive Grant-in-aid to cover our basic running costs. Мы получили финансовую помощь для покрытия наших основных эксплуатационных затрат. The Grant-in-aid to individual museums is no longer earmarked. Гранты для частных музеев больше […]...
13. English vs Ebonics English: This is your Captain speaking, we have leveled off and are cruising at flight level three five zero, feel free to move about the cabin, also the First Officer has turned off the no smoking sign, the flight attendants will be serving cocktails and refreshments momentarily, so just sit back and enjoy the rest […]...
14. Перевод слова grant Grant – дарить, даровать, жаловать; грант, субсидия Перевод слова Research grant – субсидия на проведение исследования to put in a claim for a grant – ходатайствовать о субсидии to grant lands – даровать землю, жаловать землей to grant an allowance of… – назначать денежное содержание в размере… This bill Grants us new rights. Этот законопроект […]...
15. Geologist’s song 01 The Geologist’s Come-All-Ye (a folksong) by Brenna Lorenz Come all ye lads and you will hear About the life that we love dear, Refrain: With our diddle-air-re-oh, falling rock away, knock it down, Fall-di-knock-a-rock-away, me laddie-oh! Geologists all bold and strong, We are the subject of this song. We get up with the rising sun […]...
16. One day a man was walking in the woods when he got lost One day a man was walking in the woods when he got lost. For two days he roamed around trying to find a way out. He had not eaten anything during this period and was famished. Over on a rock ledge he spotted a bald eagle, killed it, and started to eat it. Surprisingly a […]...
17. Two blondes were walking down the street Two blondes were walking down the street. One noticed a compact on the sidewalk and leaned down to pick it up. She opened it, looked in the mirror, and said, “Hmmm, this person looks familiar.” “Let me look.” said the other one. So she handed her the compact. The second blonde looked in the mirror […]...
18. Перевод слова desire Desire – жаждать, мечтать; желание, мечта, вожделение Перевод слова A desire for knowledge – жажда знаний animal desire – животная страсть sexual desire – сексуальное желание I had a burning Desire to win. Я горел желанием выиграть. Add lemon juice if Desired. Добавьте лимонный сок по желанию. We soon believe what we Desire. Мы охотно […]...
19. Перевод слова plenty Plenty – достаток; множество, очень Перевод слова I was plenty cautious – я был очень осторожен horn of plenty – рог изобилия a plenty of smoke – много дыма I was Plenty busy with other things. Я был очень занят другими вещами. We had Plenty to eat and drink. У нас было полно еды и […]...
20. Перевод идиомы let the genie out of the bottle, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: let the genie out of the bottle Перевод: выпустить джина из бутылки; допустить что-либо плохое, нежелательное, чего уже не остановить Пример: Now the press has let the genie out of the bottle, the question is what happens next. Пресса выпустила джина из бутылки, вопрос теперь в том, что будет дальше....
21. Перевод слова rock Rock – скала, утес; рок Перевод слова To drill through rock – бурить по породе rock formation – горная система point of the rock – острый выступ скалы The door was solid as Rock. Дверь была прочной как скала. The Rock was dynamited. Скала была взорвана. He is a Rock star and teen idol. Он […]...
22. A man is walking along one day and he comes upon a ladder A man is walking along one day and he comes upon a ladder. Looking up, he sees that the ladder disappears into the clouds. Curious, he begins to climb. Before long, he is *in* the clouds. He looks around and sees the most horribly ugly woman he has ever seen in his life. Obese, snaggle-toothed, […]...
23. Значение идиомы eye [eye] See: APPLE OF ONE’S EYE, BAT AN EYE or BAT AN EYELASH, BELIEVE ONE’S EYES, CATCH ONE’S EYE, CLEAR-EYED, CLOSE ONE’S EYES orSHUT ONE’S EYES, EYES OPEN, EYE OUT, EYE TO, FEAST ONE’S EYES ON, FOUR-EYES, GET THE EYE, GIVE THE EYE, GREEN-EYED MONSTER, HALF AN EYE, HAVE AN EYE ON, HAVE EYES ONLY […]...
24. One day the different parts of the body One day the different parts of the body were having an argument to see which should be in charge. The brain said “I do all the thinking so I’m the most important and I should be in charge.” The eyes said “I see everything and let the rest of you know where we are, so […]...
25. Better than playing doctor Little Johnny was sitting on the bench in the park. Suzie comes along chomping on her bubblegum. Suzie asked, “You wanna play doctor?” Johnny replied, “NO, that too old fashioned. Spit out you gum, I wanna play president.”...
26. A guide to Walking Tigers Tigers really are as big and poofy and soft as they look, and they purr like a freight train going by. You find this out by taking one for a walk. To take a tiger for a walk, you first need a tiger. Tigers fresh from the bush are not recommended for the inexperienced. What […]...
27. Her senses swam. She was overcome with an aching desire The woman entered the room, and with a knowing smile teasing her full lips, she sank into the comfort of the plush chair in the corner. The handsome stranger turned, having sensed her approach. Locking his steely grey eyes on hers, he moved slowly toward her, his experienced gaze measuring her, hypnotizing her with his […]...
28. Distinctive Facial Features Mona: How is the Portrait coming along? Leonardo: I’m done with the Sketches and I’m ready to start on the painting. Mona: This Commission is quite a Godsend for a new artist. If you do a good job with this portrait, you may get other commissions. Leonardo: It’s all the same to me. I paint […]...
29. Значение идиомы turn over [turn over] {v.} 1. To roll, tip, or turn from one side to theother; overturn; upset. He’s going to turn over the page. Thebike hit a rock and turned over. 2, To think about carefully; toconsider. He turned the problem over in his mind for three daysbefore he did anything about it. 3. To give […]...
30. Jokes of science 02 The experimentalist comes running excitedly into the theorist’s office, waving a graph taken off his latest experiment. “Hmmm,” says the theorist, “That’s exactly where you’d expect to see that peak. Here’s the reason (long logical explanation follows).” In the middle of it, the experimentalist says “Wait a minute”, studies the chart for a second, and […]...
31. Flight attendant В топике Стюардесса я делюсь своей мечтой – стать стюардессой. Эта профессия привлекает меня потому, что я смогу посмотреть новые страны и познакомиться с людьми разных национальностей. Для того чтобы стать стюардессой, нужно хорошо знать английский язык. Кроме того, стюардесса должна быть всегда доброжелательна и вежлива с пассажирами, уметь подать еду и напитки и еще […]...
32. Значение идиомы turn a blind eye [turn a blind eye] {v. phr.} To pretend not to see; not payattention. The corrupt police chief turned a blind eye to the opengambling in the town. Bob turned a blind eye to the “No Fishing”sign. Compare: CLOSE ONE’S EYES....
33. Значение идиомы rock’n’roll [rock’n’roll] or [rock and roll] {n.} A style of popular music withheavily accented rhythm. Rock’n’roll appeals mostly to youngstersnine to sixteen years old. Rock and roll became popular for dancesabout 1954....
34. The first client A young lawyer, starting up his private practice, was very anxious to impress potential clients. When he saw the first visitor to his office come through the door, he immediately picked up his phone and spoke into it,” I am sorry, but my workload is so tremendous that I am not going to be able […]...
35. Describing Facial Features I was Mugged while I was walking home last night. This morning, I was at the police station with a Sketch artist to see if we could come up with a picture of what the thief looked like. Sketch artist: Okay, you said that this was a man in his 40’s. Can you tell me […]...
36. Значение идиомы rock hound [rock hound] {n.}, {slang} A person who studies and collects rocksfor a hobby. Many young rock hounds grow up to be geologists. Tony is an eager rock hound, and we have rocks all through ourhouse....
37. Значение идиомы acid rock [acid rock] {n.}, {slang} A characteristic kind of rock in which loudness and beat predominate over melody; especially such music as influenced by drug experiences. John is a regular acid rock freak....
38. Значение идиомы eyes open [eyes open] 1. Careful watch or attention; readiness to see. – Usually used with “for”. Keep your eyes open for a boy in a red capand sweater. The hunter had his eyes open for rabbits. Theydrove on with their eyes open for a gas station. Syn.: EYE OUT, KEEPONE’S EYES PEELED. 2. Full knowledge; especially […]...
39. Two men were walking along the street when Two men were walking along the street when they came upon a dog licking his dick. One man said, “I sure wish I could do that.” The other replied, “You can, but you’re probably going to have to pet him first.”...
40. Two men were walking through the woods when Two men were walking through the woods when a large bear walked out into the clearing no more than 50 feet in front of them. The first man dropped his backpack and dug out a pair of running shoes, then began to furiously attempt to lace them up as the bear slowly approached them. The […]...