This black guy is walking along a beach when

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1. A recently divorced woman is walking along the beach A recently divorced woman is walking along the beach contemplating how badly screwed she got over the divorce settlement, when she spies a magic lamp washing up onshore. She rubs the lamp, and out pops a magical genie!! The genie notices her anger and lets her vent her troubles to him. As a consolation, the […]...
2. Once upon a time a man was walking down Once upon a time a man was walking down the street. He saw an ancient oil lamp in an ash can and, thinking of the Aladdin legend, he picked up and rubbed it. Sure enough, out popped a genie. “Master, I shall now grant you one wish.” The man spoke, his eyes bulging with desire. […]...
3. The third wish A young man fell in a pit one day, and found a magic lamp with a genie inside of it. The genie said, ‘I will grant you three wishes.’ The man’s first wish was to get out of the pit. **POOF** He was instantly transported out. He then wished for all the gold in the […]...
4. A little girl was walking along a beach in California A little girl was walking along a beach in California when she came across a man with no clothes on and just a newspaper covering his genitals. The little girl said, “What do you have under that newspaper, Mister?” The man said, “Nothing, it’s just a bird, now go away!” The man thought nothing of […]...
5. An explorer goes into an undiscovered tomb An explorer goes into an undiscovered tomb for the first time, and in the center of the tomb there is a lamp. So he picked it up and started to rub the dirt off of it, and out came a genie out of the lamp and he said “I want to know the person you […]...
6. The only wish Two guys of limited intelligence were on a ship that sank in the middle of the ocean. They managed to inflate a rubber life raft and grab a box of provisions before their ship slipped below the surface. After floating under blazing heat for 6 days they ran out of food and water. On the […]...
7. Перевод идиомы black and white / black or white, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: black and white / black or white Перевод: черно-белое, черное и белое, черное или белое; что-либо с четкой градацией – черное и белое, хорошее и плохое, да или нет, и т. п., без промежуточных градаций Пример: It’s not a simple black and white issue. Это сложный вопрос, на него нет однозначного ответа, да или […]...
8. Mary Jane was walking on the beach one day and saw a shark Mary Jane was walking on the beach one day and saw a shark swimming around a man. The man was screaming, “Help me! Help me!” Mary Jane laughed and laughed! She knew that the shark was never going to help that man!...
9. Перевод слова black Black – черный Перевод слова Black cloth – черное сукно black races – черные расы on the black market – на черном рынке The ceiling Blackened. Потолок почернел. That’s a Black augury! Это дурное предзнаменование! He had a Black suit on. На нем был черный костюм. Примеры из жизни “Люди в черном” (Men in Black) […]...
10. Значение идиомы get a black eye [get a black eye] {v. phr.} 1. To receive a dark ring around theeye after being hit by someone’s fist or an object. In thefistfight Tom got a black eye from Pete. Sue got a black eye whenshe ran into a tree. 2. To have one’s character denigrated. Ourfirm received a black eye because of […]...
11. Значение идиомы in the black [in the black] {adv.} or {adj. phr.}, {informal} In a successful orprofitable way; so as to make money. The big store was running inthe black. A business must stay in the black to keep on. Contrast: IN THE RED....
12. Значение идиомы black eye [black eye] {n.} 1. A dark area around one’s eye due to a hard blow during a fight, such as boxing. Mike Tyson sported a black eye after the big fight. 2. Discredit. Bob’s illegal actions will give a black eye to the popular movement he started....
13. A man is walking past this house when a used condom A man is walking past this house when a used condom comes flying out of the second story window and lands squarely on his head. Rather disgusted and absolutely furious, he goes up to the front door and starts pounding on it. An elderly man opens it and asks him what caused him to knock […]...
14. Значение идиомы black-and-white [black-and-white] {adj.} Divided into only two sides that are either right or wrong or good or bad, with nothing in between; thinking or judging everything as either good or bad. Everything is black-and-white to Bill; if you’re not his friend, you are his enemy. The old man’s religion shows his black-and-white thinking; everything is either […]...
15. Значение идиомы pot call the kettle black [pot call the kettle black] {informal} The person who iscriticizing someone else is as guilty as the person he accuses; thecharge is as true of the person who makes it as of the one he makes itagainst. When the commissioner accused the road builder of bribery, the contractor said the pot was calling the kettle […]...
16. Love handles One day as Monica Lewinsky was walking along the beach awaiting her Senate trial testimony, she came upon an ornate bottle that had washed up on shore. Curious, she picked it up, brushed off the sand, and lo and behold a genie popped out. “Greetings, Miss Lewinsky,” the genie said. “Since you have released me, […]...
17. A Mexican, a black, and a white guy A Mexican, a black, and a white guy are in a bar having a drink when a good-looking girl comes up to them and says “whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me”. So the white guy says “I love liver and cheese.” she says “that’s not good enough.” The black […]...
18. Перевод идиомы in the black, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: in the black Перевод: финансово успешный, прибыльный (противоположное значение – In the red) Пример: Our company has been in the black for over three years now. Наша компания является прибыльной вот уже больше трех лет....
19. Ass-corked Two guys are in a locker room when one guy notices the other guy has a cork in his ass. He says, “How’d you get a cork in your ass?” The other guy says, “I was walking along the beach and I tripped over a lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a […]...
20. Jokes of science 02 The experimentalist comes running excitedly into the theorist’s office, waving a graph taken off his latest experiment. “Hmmm,” says the theorist, “That’s exactly where you’d expect to see that peak. Here’s the reason (long logical explanation follows).” In the middle of it, the experimentalist says “Wait a minute”, studies the chart for a second, and […]...
21. Перевод идиомы give someone a black eye, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: give someone a black eye Перевод: 1. подбить глаз; 2. испортить репутацию. Пример: I bumped into the door and it gave me a black eye. Я ударился об дверь и поставил себе синяк под глазом....
22. Leprechaun Jokes Three guys, one Irish, one English, and one Scottish, are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. “I will give you each one wish, that’s three wishes in total”, says the Genie. The Scottish guy says, “I am a fisherman, my Dad’s […]...
23. Перевод слова instant Instant – мгновение, незамедлительный, мгновенный Перевод слова Come this instant – приходи немедленно at that very instant – в этот самый момент instant response – немедленный ответ He has Instant need of you. Вы ему срочно нужны. Come this very Instant! Сейчас же приходи! She caught his eye for an Instant. На мгновение она поймала […]...
24. Значение идиомы black out [black out] {v.} 1. To darken by putting out or dimming lights, In some plays the stage is blacked out for a short time and the actors speak in darkness. In wartime, cities are blacked out to protect against bombing from planes. 2. To prevent or silence information or communication; refuse to give out truthful […]...
25. A young black boy goes into the kitchen where his mother is baking A young black boy goes into the kitchen where his mother is baking. He puts his hands in the flour and coats his face with it. He looks at his mother and says “Look Momma, I’m a white boy.” His mother slaps him hard On the face and says “Boy, go show your Daddy.” The […]...
26. A Jewish boy was walking with his girlfriend A Jewish boy was walking with his girlfriend on the grounds of his father’s house. His father was a successful doctor, and was carrying out a circumcision in the on-site surgery. As they were walking, they heard a scream and a foreskin flew out of the window and landed at the girl’s feet. “What’s this,” […]...
27. Значение идиомы black sheep [black sheep] {n.} A person in a family or a community considered unsatisfactory or disgraceful. My brother Ted is a high school dropout who joined a circus; he is the black sheep in our family....
28. Перевод идиомы in black and white, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: in black and white Перевод: в письменной форме, в печатном виде Пример: I want to get the information in black and white before I go to the meeting. Я хочу распечатать эту информацию, прежде чем идти на собрание....
29. Перевод слова lamp Lamp – лампа, фонарь Перевод слова Electric lamp – электрическая лампа head lamp – автомобильная фара to plug in a lamp – включать лампу в розетку That Lamp belongs on the desk. Эта лампа обычно стоит на письменном столе. She knocked over the Lamp. Она опрокинула лампу. The bedside Lamp glowed dimly. Прикроватная лампа тускло […]...
30. A black guy walks into a tavern with a parrot A black guy walks into a tavern with a parrot on his shoulder…the bartender looks up and says ” where the hell did you get that thing? The Parrot replies ” Over in Africa, there’s millions of them ” !!!!...
31. A nun is walking down a deserted road when A nun is walking down a deserted road when a man grabs her and starts raping her. After the rapist is done, he says, “Hey Sister, what are you going to tell the other Sisters now?” “I’ll tell them the truth, that you grabbed me, threw me to the ground, and raped me twice….unless you’re […]...
32. Chaim escapes from a mental hospital Chaim escapes from a mental hospital and goes to the train station. He gets on the train and is seated next to a business man. He asks the man, “Are you Jewish?” The man says, “No.” Joe apologizes. Ten minutes later, he asks, “You wouldn’t happen to be Jewish would you?” The man replies, “No!” […]...
33. An old italian couple is walking around in the mall An old italian couple is walking around in the mall. After a while they get separated so the woman goes up to the first saleswoman she sees and ask: “Escusa me, have you senn-a me Tony. He’s got a big-a belly and a-lots of curly black hair?” The saleswoman answers that she hasn’t seen her […]...
34. Cinderella was all set to go to the huge ball Cinderella was all set to go to the huge ball, but she was having a severe case of PMS. She was crabby and pissy and moody and generally not in the partying spirit. Well, her fairy-godmother again came to her rescue by providing Cinderella with a magic tampon. The fairy-godmother said, “Put this in and […]...
35. Пословица / поговорка the pot calls the kettle black – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: the pot calls the kettle black Перевод: горшок над котлом смеется, а оба черны; горшок котел сажей корил; оба хороши Пример: My friend always criticizes me for being late but that is like the pot calling the kettle black. He himself is the one who is usually late. Мой друг всегда осуждает […]...
36. The difference The boy asks his dad: “What’s the difference between a ‘cunt’ and a ‘pussy’?” The dad gets a Penthouse magazine, draws a circle around a crotch and says: “Everything inside the circle is a ‘pussy’, everything outside the circle is a ‘cunt'”...
37. A husband and wife are on a nudist beach A husband and wife are on a nudist beach when suddenly a wasp buzzes into the wife’s business end. Naturally enough, she panics. The husband is also quite shaken but manages to put a coat on her, pull up his shorts and carries her to the car. Then he makes a mad dash to the […]...
38. This guy is walking through Chinatown and sees a building This guy is walking through Chinatown and sees a building with a sign “Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry.” “Hans Olaffsen?”, he thinks. “How in the world does that fit in here?” So, he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman sitting in the corner. The visitor asks, “How in the world did this place […]...
39. Two blondes were walking down the street Two blondes were walking down the street. One noticed a compact on the sidewalk and leaned down to pick it up. She opened it, looked in the mirror, and said, “Hmmm, this person looks familiar.” “Let me look.” said the other one. So she handed her the compact. The second blonde looked in the mirror […]...
40. Фразовый глагол black out – перевод и значение, пример использования Фразовый глагол: black out Перевод: терять сознание, падать в обморок Пример: When he fell off the horse he blacked out. Когда он упал с лошади, он потерял сознание....