An abstract joke

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1. Перевод слова banana Banana – банан Перевод слова A hand of bananas – гроздь бананов to peel a banana – очищать банан от кожуры green banana – зеленый банан He slipped on a Banana skin and almost fell. Он поскользнулся на банановой кожуре и чуть не упал. She was Eating a banana. Она ела банан....
2. Be yourself – Будь собой Everyone is special because of being different. Personality mostly comes from the inside not the outside. It doesn`t matter what people think of you. The only person who matters is yourself. You should learn that you can`t be loved by everyone. That would be ideal, but it is unreal. In our complicated world it can […]...
3. Bathroom control One day Pablo and Paco are riding through the desert on their horses. As they ride along, Pablo smells something horrible. He stops his horse and turns around. He says “Hey Paco, you shit your pants?” Paco says “No, Pablo, I did not shit my pants.” He believes him and they keep riding. As they […]...
4. Phone joke II One night when you have a few friends around, take turns calling the same phone number, a really obnoxious acquaintance that won’t recognize your voices is always a good choice. When the person answers, try to leave a message for John Smith (or any name that sounds real). Insist that you have the right number […]...
5. There was a man and woman traveling along in their car There was a man and woman traveling along in their car. The man was driving when a police officer pulls them over. The officer walks up to the window and says “Did you know you were speeding back there.” The lady (who is almost deaf) said to her husband “What did he say, what did […]...
6. Bank Teller Bank Teller A middle aged man walks into the bank and says to the young teller, “I want to open a fucking checking account”. “Please sir”, she replies, “we can’t have language like that in here.” “Why the Fuck not?” he asked. “Sir,” Came her retort, “I must ask you to refrain from swearing.” “I […]...
7. One day there was an indian chief who was constipated One day there was an indian chief who was constipated. he sent one of his warriors to the witch doctor to get some medicine. The warrior says “Big Chief, no shit”. the doctor gave him 1 pill and told him that the chief should be fine tomorrow. The warrior went back to the chief and […]...
8. Значение идиомы by turns [by turns] {adv. phr.} First one and then another in a regular way; one substituting for or following another according to a repeated plan. On the drive to Chicago, the three men took the wheel by turns. The teachers were on duty by turns. When John had a fever, he felt cold and hot by […]...
9. Значение идиомы top banana [top banana] or [top dog] {n.}, {slang}, {informal} The head of anybusiness or organization; the most influential or most prestigiousperson in an establishment. Who’s the top banana in this outfit? See: MAIN SQUEEZE....
10. Who am I? Night. A sleeping couple is lying in a bed. Door bell rings. A couple wakes up. Woman: “Quick! My husband is back!” Man jumps out from a window. Flying down he starts to think: “Shit! But I am the husband!” Sent by Ser...
11. A man and a woman are sitting next to each other A man and a woman are sitting next to each other at a bar getting drunk. The man turns to the woman and asks her why she’s so down. “My husband just left me. He said I’m too kinky in bed,” she said. “What a coincidence! My wife just left me,” said the man, “she […]...
12. Bad Japanese economy According to inside contacts, the Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of ameliorating. If anything, it’s getting worse. Following last week’s news that Origami Bank had folded, we are hearing that Sumo Bank has gone belly up, and Bonsai Bank plans to cut back some of its branches. Karaoke Bank is up for sale, and […]...
13. Значение идиомы drive someone bananas [drive someone bananas] or [drive someone nuts] or [drive someone ape] {v. phr.}, {slang} {informal} To excite someone to the point that he or she goes out of his or her mind; to drive someone crazy. You’re driving me bananas with that kind of talk!...
14. Значение идиомы take turns [take turns] {v. phr.} To do something one after another instead ofdoing it all at the same time. In class we should not talk all atthe same time; we should take turns. Jean and Beth took turns onthe swing. The two boys took turns at digging the hole. Thethree men took turns driving so one […]...
15. Перевод сленгового выражения go bananas, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: go bananas Перевод: вести себя неразумно и необдуманно; потерять самоконтроль, самообладание Синоним: go crazy; go bonkers Пример: I knew Joe would go bananas when he found out he’s not getting a raise this year. Я знал, что Джо взбесится, когда узнает, что он не получит повышения в этом году....
16. Значение идиомы banana oil [banana oil] {n.}, {slang} Flattery that is an obvious exaggeration; statements that are obviously made with an ulterior motive. Cut out the banana oil; flattery will get you nowhere!...
17. China bans ‘erotic’ banana-eating live streams Chinese live-streaming services have banned people filming themselves eating bananas in a “seductive” fashion. New regulations mean that live-streaming sites must monitor all their output round-the-clock to ensure nothing untoward is going on, keeping an eye out for any “erotic” banana-eating, according to New Express Daily. It’s not just fruit that’s on their radar though […]...
18. Абстрактное искусство/ Abstract Art На английском языке Перевод на русский язык Abstract Art Абстрактное искусство Unlike traditional art, abstract art is not focused on accurate depiction of real-life object. At the same time, it doesn’t have purely decorative function. The artist uses the language of colour, shape and line to create images that have little or nothing to do […]...
19. Abstract art – Абстрактное искусство Unlike traditional art, abstract art is not focused on accurate depiction of real-life object. At the same time, it doesn’t have purely decorative function. The artist uses the language of colour, shape and line to create images that have little or nothing to do with what the eye sees. Just like in traditional art, these […]...
20. Перевод слова bank Bank – банк Перевод слова Bank borrowings – займы, получаемые в банке counterfeit bank-note – фальшивый банкнот to deposit money in a bank – внести деньги в банк My Bank balance isn’t good. Состояние моего банковского счета оставляет желать лучшего. The Bank bounced the cheque. Банк вернул чек. Our Bank merged with theirs. Наш банк […]...
21. A Publicity Stunt Hank: What’s that for? Svetlana: This Costume? I’m planning a Publicity stunt to get our store more business. Hank: You think that Dressing up as a giant banana will get our store more business? Svetlana: We need to get Media coverage for the Grand opening of our store and Attract as much Attention as possible. […]...
22. Перевод слова abstract Abstract – абстрактный, отвлеченный Перевод слова Abstract problems – непонятные, абстрактные проблемы abstract art – абстрактное искусство abstract term – общее понятие Abstract art displeases him. Абстрактное искусство ему не по душе. “Honesty” is an Abstract word. “Честность” – это абстрактное слово. Примеры из жизни Созвучно и совпадает по смыслу со словом “Абстрактный” в русском […]...
23. Значение идиомы drive one ape [drive one ape], [bananas], [crazy], [mad] or [nuts] {v. phr.}, {informal} To irritate, frustrate, or tickle someone’s fancy so badly that they think they are going insane. “Stop teasing me, Mary,” John said. “You are driving me nuts.” “You are driving me bananas with all your crazy riddles,” Steve said....
24. Английский сленг для тех, кто учит язык At sixes and sevens – куча-мала, беспорядок at the tip of the tongue – на кончике языка, почти сказано bublin brook – болтушка, сплетница babe at the woods – словно с луны свалившись back off – заткнуться, прекратить пороть чушь, говорить медленнее at first blush – с первого взгляда, поначалу at sea – растерянность, ступор, […]...
25. Recipe for Banana Bread Ingredients: 2 Laughing Eyes 2 Loving Arms 2 Well Shaped Legs 2 Firm Milk Containers 1 Fur Lined Mixing Bowl 2 Large Nuts 1 Large Banana Method: 1. Look into Loving Eyes. 2. Fold in Loving Arms. 3. Spread Well Shaped Legs. 4. Squeeze and massage Milk Containers gently until Fur Lined Mixing Bowl is […]...
26. Значение идиомы lie low [lie low] or {nonstandard} [lay low] {v.}, {informal} 1. To stayquietly out of sight; try not to attract attention; hide. Afterholding up the bank, the robbers lay low for a while. 2. To keepsecret one’s thoughts or plans. I think he wants to be electedpresident, but he is lying low and not saying anything....
27. Перевод сленгового выражения the shit hits the fan, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: the shit hits the fan Сленговое выражение: the shit hits the fan груб. Перевод: разразится большой скандал; дело примет плохой оборот; запахнет жареным Пример: It was a good party until Ed started a fight. Then the shit hit the fan! Вечеринка была хорошей, пока Эд не начал драку. Тогда все понеслось! If Dad […]...
28. The only wish Two guys of limited intelligence were on a ship that sank in the middle of the ocean. They managed to inflate a rubber life raft and grab a box of provisions before their ship slipped below the surface. After floating under blazing heat for 6 days they ran out of food and water. On the […]...
29. Gas-tank joke This practical joke is hearsay. A fellow student some years ago related the following. Apparently another student was a bit of a braggar. His favourite topic was his car, and one sub-topic was the terrific gas milage (pre-metric) it got. So it began one evening. Fill up a one-gallon container of gas each night and […]...
30. College bar joke When I was in college our RA told us of a good one that (supposedly) some friends had pulled a couple of years earlier. These two guys made up a concoction of all kinds of left overs, semi-pureed it in a blender, and filled a hot water bottle with it. One of them took the […]...
31. Yet another dorm joke Here’s one that my roommate and myself did to a residence buddy. One morning (early) we taped together a bunch of sheets of newspaper to cover the victims doorframe. Then taped this big sheet over the doorframe which left a gap of about two or three inches between the sheet and the door. Then we […]...
32. Ex-Police car joke We have various local spots where the teenagers park, cruise, hold drag races, drink beer etc. We happen to own a white 1983 Dodge Diplomat, the exact kind of car used by the State Patrol around here as well as many law enforcement agencies nationwide. (Actually our car WAS a state patrol car, but that’s […]...
33. Another ethnic joke A man of Polish ancestry walked up to the counter and asked for a Polish Meatball Sandwich. The man at the counter said, “What a Pollack.” The Polish man said, “I resent that. If a Jew came to your counter and asked for a kosher salami on rye, would you call him a stupid Jew.” […]...
34. Egg joke In a similar vein, tell your victim that you have a test of coordination you would like him to try with you. Find a door with a fairly large crack between the door and the wall when the door is open. (You know, over by the hinges; across the width of the door from the […]...
35. Cow joke Another Cow joke I attribute to my ‘Ol chemestry prof was the placement of a cow onto the roof. I would presume a fairly storng roof, but once up there it would be hard to hide the fact to the cow that any direction would be down. Another pratical joke involved the use of outhouses. […]...
36. Practical Joke A couple was planning on getting married. Seeing how they didn’t have much money to go on a honeymoon, they decided tojust go back to their new apartment after the wedding. The groom had three close friends, that were prone to committing practical jokes. One being a carpenter, the other a ordinary guy, and the […]...
37. Перевод слова river River – река, поток Перевод слова To throw a bridge across a river – перекинуть мост через реку to move by the river side – идти вдоль реки a river of lava – поток лавы The River floods. Река поднимается. They sailed down the River. Они поплыли вниз по реке. The River recedes. Вода в […]...
38. Phone joke A few months ago I saw a newspaper clipping which told of a newspaper in Illinois (I think…) which ran a story warning consumers that, on such-and – such day, Illinois Bell would be “blowing the dust out of the phone lines” and that all phone owners should cover the earpiece of their phones with […]...
39. Outhouse joke A few years ago some members of the infamous Dartmouth Outing Club pushed an occupied one-seat outhouse off its foundations, onto its door. The victim tried in vain for a few minutes to roll the entire building onto a different side, but soon gave up, as it was too heavy. She then was forced to […]...
40. A visual joke (This joke requires the use a small visual. I’ll describe the visual first, then as I tell the joke I’ll cue you when to use it) Visual: Stretch your arms straight out sideways with hands also stretched wide open. Joke: Why did the blonde want to date Jesus? She heard he was (use visual) HUNG […]...