Social Security Sex

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1. An old man goes into the Social Security Office An old man goes into the Social Security Office and fills out an application. Too old to have a birth certificate, he is asked to prove he is old enough. He opens his shirt and shows them the gray hair on his chest and they accept that as proof. He goes home to his wife, […]...
2. Перевод слова security Security – безопасность, секретность; службы безопасности Перевод слова System of collective security – система коллективной безопасности national security – безопасность страны security report – донесение службы контрразведки Security is a primary need. Главное – обеспечить безопасность. Security measures were stepped up. Были приняты усиленные меры безопасности. America’s national Security is at issue. На карту поставлена […]...
3. Перевод слова social Social – общественный, социальный Перевод слова Social elite – сливки общества social evolution – развитие общества social expenditure – затраты на общественные нужды The old Social order has gone forever. Старый общественный порядок ушел навсегда. At the age of ten I was a Social bust. В десятилетнем возрасте я был изгоем. Social drinking may lead […]...
4. Breaching Computer Security Jin: Did you hear what happened to McQ Corp? Dina: No, what? Jin: Hackers were able to get Unauthorized access to its computer systems and cause a lot of problems over the weekend. They destroyed Data and Rendered the system Unusable. In fact, the entire system Crashed. Dina: I hadn’t heard that. Why McQ Corp? […]...
5. Значение идиомы social climber [social climber] {n.} A person who tries to mix with rich orwell-known people and be accepted by them as friends and equals. People do not like Mrs. Brown very well; she is known as a socialclimber. Social climbers are usually soon known and they are notaccepted by those they run after....
6. Social Networks Топик Социальные сети рассказывает о сайтах, разработанных с целью познакомить и собрать людей с общими интересами, дать им возможность общаться на различные темы, выкладывать и обсуждать фото и видео, добавлять друг друга в друзья или недруги, загружать и слушать музыку и т. д. Одним из плюсов социальных сетей является возможность найти давно потерянных друзей, родственников […]...
7. Passing Through Airport Security Roland: Why are you so nervous about flying? Natalie: I’m not nervous about being in the air. It’s going through Security. I hear it’s a Hassle and I don’t want to end up being Strip-searched. Roland: You won’t be strip-searched. All you need to do is to follow a few simple rules. When you get […]...
8. Man posing as security guard steals $75,000 from Oklahoma Wal-Mart A man dressed as a security guard walked out of an Oklahoma Wal-Mart with $75,000 in cash, a crime that went undetected until the real security guards showed up later to transport the money, police said. The suspect walked into the Wal-Mart on Saturday in Bristow, southwest of Tulsa, dressed in clothes similar to those […]...
9. Discussing Social Class Hector: Can you believe James? All evening, he tried to tell me how this country would be better if we had no Social classes. He’s out of his mind. Sophia: He was just trying To get a rise out of you. We all know that the two of you don’t See eye to eye. Hector: […]...
10. The company president called the chief security guard The company president called the chief security guard into his office. “Chuck, we’ve received a complaint from one of the employees that you are making obscene sexual comments and putting your hands where they don’t belong. These unwanted advances will have to stop.” Chuck looked down at his feet and mumbled, “I’m sorry, Sir. I […]...
11. Значение идиомы security blanket [security blanket] {n.}, {slang}, {colloquial} An idea, person, orobject that one holds on to for psychological reassurance or comfortas infants usually hang on to the edge of a pillow, a towel, or ablanket. Sue has gone to Aunt Mathilda for a chat; she is hersecurity blanket....
12. AVOID SOCIAL BLUNDERS WITH THESE HELPFUL WEDDING HINTS AVOID SOCIAL BLUNDERS WITH THESE HELPFUL WEDDING HINTS: – Livestock usually is a poor choice for a wedding gift. – Is it okay to bring a date to a wedding? Not if you are the groom. – When dancing, never remove undergarments; no matter how hot it is. – Kissing the bride for more than […]...
13. Planning for Retirement Paulina: Did you get your Social Security statement? I just got mine in the mail. If I keep working at this rate for the next 20 years, between Social Security and my Savings, I should be Sitting pretty for Retirement. Carlos: Yeah, I should be okay when I retire, too. I’ve been contributing to a […]...
14. Social networking: pen pals – Социальные сети: друзья по переписке “Современные технологии” – все топики. Social networking: pen pals We live in the world of high technologies and innovations. It is true that the Internet has changed the life of millions of people around the world. Modern society cannot imagine life without modern devices such as smartphones, laptops, tablets and computers. There are different ways […]...
15. The job security quiz The job security quiz will help judge how long you’ll end up at your current job and what will become of you. The boss appears at your cubicle and finds you playing DOOM at your desk, you… A. Swear to take the game off your hard drive forever, but first make a copy for his […]...
16. Are Social Networking Sites Good for Our Society? – Хороши ли сайты социальных сетей для нашего общества? According to the Oxford Dictionary, a “social network” is a dedicated website or other application which enables users to communicate with each other by posting information, comments, messages, images, etc. There are several types of social networks. Some of them are primarily for socializing with existing friends; others can help you to find specific information. […]...
17. Renting an Apartment Heather: Hi, are you the Apartment manager? I saw the Vacancy sign outside and I’m looking for an apartment. Sam: Yes, I’m Sam. We have one Unit available right now. When are you looking To move in? Heather: The Lease on my apartment Is up soon, so I’d like to move in The first of […]...
18. Airplanes and security – Самолеты и безопасность A few hundred years ago the main forms of transport were walking or riding a horse, donkey, camel and elephant, depending on where you lived. Nowadays, in most countries long journeys involve some form of motorized transport. People today tend to travel longer distances, more often and at much higher speeds. As a result the […]...
19. Fake two dollar bill On my way home from the second job I’ve taken for the extra holiday cash I need, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my wallet is a $50 bill and a $2 bill. That is all of the cash I have on my person. I figure that with a […]...
20. Retiring Abroad Wanda: I just heard the news. You’re moving to McQuillanland? George: I am. I’ve decided To retire abroad. Wanda: Why? George: It makes a lot of sense for people with a Fixed income. Social Security will Only go so far here, but the Cost of living is much lower in other countries, including McQuillanland. I […]...
21. Getting Access to Restricted Areas Security officer: Excuse me, sir, but this is a Restricted area. Only Authorized personnel are Permitted. Carl: I just want to take a quick look. Is this really where the president will be speaking? Security officer: I can Neither confirm nor deny that, sir. Please step aside. Carl: What if I have Press credentials? Could […]...
22. Living on Low Wages Dylan: Here. Yvonne: What’s this? Dylan: It’s information about a job-training program. It’ll give you the skills you need to get Steady work. Yvonne: I don’t need that. I Get by with the Wages I earn from this job. Dylan: You’re in a Dead-end job straining to make ends meet every month. Yvonne: I’ve always […]...
23. OSCE – Organization for Security and Co-operation in Europe – ОБСЕ – Организация по безопасности и сотрудничеству в Европе The Organization for Security and Co-operation in Europe (OSCE) is an international organization for security. In its region it is concerned with early warning, conflict prevention, crisis management and post-conflict rehabilitation. It has 55 participating states from Europe, the Mediterranean, the Caucasus, Central Asia and North America. The decision making bodies of the organization are […]...
24. Paycheck Deductions Bill: It’s about time! I’ve been waiting for my first Paycheck and now it’s finally here. I’m ready to party this weekend! Whoa! Carol: What’s the matter? Bill: What happened to all my money? The amount of this check is a lot less than I expected it to be. Carol: Yeah, my first paycheck was […]...
25. The wife is not speaking to me One night, this guy come into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. Then he asks for another. After a couple more drinks, the bartender gets worried. “What’s the matter?” the bartender asks. “My wife and I got into a fight,” explained the guy “and now she isn’t talking to me for a […]...
26. Перевод слова month Month – месяц Перевод слова Against the end of the month – к концу месяца the inside of a month – середина месяца inside of a month – в пределах месяца last month – в прошлом месяце He’ll be here for a Month. Он пробудет здесь месяц. He was gone for a Month. Он исчез […]...
27. An IRS scam WARNING! PLEASE READ IMMEDIATELY! THIS IS SERIOUS! If you get an envelope from a company called the Internal Revenue Service,” DO NOT OPEN IT! This group operates a scam around this time every year. Their letter claims that you owe them money, which they will take and use to pay for the operation of essential […]...
28. Asking for Information About a Coworker Amina: What’s the Lowdown on the new guy? Earl: Which new guy? Amina: You know, the cute one. Fill me in. Is he single? Earl: I don’t know. I have no idea. Amina: You’re working with him side-by-side and you haven’t Gleaned any personal information about him? Earl: We talk about work. It’s not my […]...
29. Conducting a Search Security Chief: Okay, people. We’ve just had a report of a Missing child on this property. We need to find him fast. I want you two To search Every room in this building. Look in Every nook and cranny. Ramona: Excuse me, may I ask a question? Security Chief: You can when I’m done. Now […]...
30. Reading an Obituary Ivy: This is so sad! Stephan: What is? Ivy: I’m reading the Obituary for one of my favorite actors as a child, Mr. McBoo. He had Quite a life. Stephan: Oh, yeah? Ivy: Yeah, and this article has really Done him justice. It’s a nice Tribute to a man who Touched so many lives. It […]...
31. Becoming a Spy Vaughn: You’ve been reading that novel for hours. What is it? Sydney: It’s a Spy novel and it’s really good. It’s about a man who is Recruited by the C. I. A. to work in Counterintelligence doing Code breaking, but he becomes Embroiled in the world of Espionage. Vaughn: That sounds exciting. Sydney: Yeah, he’s […]...
32. An Old Love Juan: You’ll never guess who I got an email from yesterday. Naomi: Who? Juan: Diana Shultz. Naomi: Weren’t you two An item back in high school? So, you got an email from an Old flame. Very interesting. Juan: Well, that’s Ancient history. We Lost touch After we went off to college. Naomi: What did she […]...
33. Dealing with Website Hackers Valerie: You’ll never guess what happened over the weekend. Bill: What? Valerie: Our website was attacked by Hackers, and nobody could Access it. Bill: You’re kidding! What did they do? Valerie: They got access to our Server and Embedded some Malicious code that caused the site to be redirected to their own website. Bill: But […]...
34. Hiring Temp Workers Bethany: I just talked to Steve about hiring Replacements for Cyril, who quit last month and for Megan, who is leaving at the end of this week. Do you know what he told me? He doesn’t want to hire Permanent replacements. He wants To make do with Temps! Enrique: I can see it from Steve’s […]...
35. Getting a School Class Schedule Carlos: Did you get your Class schedule? Marianne: Yeah. You? Carlos: Yeah. Let’s see if we have any classes together. I have PE with Mr. Lopez and Social studies with Ms. Walters. How about you? Marianne: I have PE with Ms. Schwartz and social studies with Ms. Eng. Who do you have for Geography? I’m […]...
36. A Star Trek Convention Guido: Whoa, check you out! That’s a great Costume. Are you going to the Star Trek Convention? Rita: Yeah, it’s in town until Sunday. Have you ever been to one? Guido: Me? No way! Don’t get me wrong. I’m a Fan of the shows. And, No offense, but I thought only Geeks went to the […]...
37. Being Socially Popular Rosa: Has the mail come yet? Grant: We didn’t get any mail today. Rosa: Damn it! Grant: What’s the matter? Rosa: I’m waiting for an invitation from Joanna to her birthday party. I heard that she’s having a big Bash and it’s going to be the party of the season. Grant: You’re Worked up over […]...
38. Perot corn Two farmers were talking at the general store. One farmer says to the other, “Did you hear about that new variety of corn called Perot corn?” The second farmer replies,”No I ain’t.” The first farmer says, “Yeah, it’s a big yielding variety. The stalk don’t grow too big, but the ears are tremendous!”...
39. A woman walks into her accountant’s office and A woman walks into her accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask a few questions.” He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, “What is your occupation?” The woman replies, “I’m a whore.” The accountant balks […]...
40. A man went to the doctor for a check up A man went to the doctor for a check up. “How do you feel?” asked the doctor. “Fine.” he replied. After a few more general health questions the doctor asked, “How many times do you have sex per month?” “About two or three.” the man replied. “You should be doing better than that.” the doctor […]...