Sidney has a problem with premature ejaculation

Related topics:

1. A guy was driving down the road in his Yugo A guy was driving down the road in his Yugo during a thunder storm, when his windshield wiper broke. He drives until he comes to an auto body shop. He goes into the shop, walks up to the counter and says, “Excuse me, but could you give me a windshield wiper for my Yugo?” The […]...
2. A department store A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and asks, “W-w-w-where’s the m-m-m-men’s dep-p-p-partment?” The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing. The man repeats himself: “W-w-w-where’s the m-m-m-men’s dep-p-p-partment?” Again, the clerk doesn’t answer him. The guy asks several more times: […]...
3. Another ethnic joke A man of Polish ancestry walked up to the counter and asked for a Polish Meatball Sandwich. The man at the counter said, “What a Pollack.” The Polish man said, “I resent that. If a Jew came to your counter and asked for a kosher salami on rye, would you call him a stupid Jew.” […]...
4. Перевод слова remedy Remedy – лекарство, средство, мера Перевод слова Remedy for pollution – средство борьбы с загрязнением household remedy – домашнее средство remedy against poison – противоядие Building more roads isn’t always the best Remedy for traffic congestion. Строительство новых дорог не всегда является лучшей мерой борьбы с автомобильными пробками. Everyone swears by her Remedy for a […]...
5. A woman strode angrily into the large A woman strode angrily into the large drug-store-cum-general-store, slapped a package on the counter, and loudly expressed her dissatisfaction. The clerk asked, “What’s the problem? Wouldn’t your cat eat them?” The woman’s eyes got very large, and she whispered, “Do you mean to tell me that Pussy Treats are meant for ‘cats’?”...
6. Please show the I. D The following supposedly a true story. This guy walked into a little corner store with a shot gun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the […]...
7. A man walks into a jewellers shop A man walks into a jewellers shop, unzips his trousers and places his tool upon the counter. The lady serving says: “I’m sorry Sir, this is a clock shop not a cock shop.” “Well, put two hands and a face on this.” replies the man....
8. Перевод слова shelf Shelf – полка; шельф, отмель Перевод слова Shelf stand – стеллаж a whole shelf of classics – целая полка классиков continental shelf – континентальный шельф shelf ice – шельфовый лед Put the vase on the Shelf. Поставьте эту вазу на полку. Please reach me down that book on the high Shelf. Достань мне пожалуйста вон […]...
9. Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from the local shoe repair shop. The date stamped on the ticket showed that it was over eleven years old. They both laughed and tried to remember which of them might have forgotten to pick up a pair […]...
10. A woman walks into a pet store A woman walks into a pet store wanting to buy a pet for her husband, but she finds all the pets are so so expensive. The woman says to the clerk at the counter, “I’m looking to buy a pet for my husband but I’m on a very short budget!.” “No worries,” replies the clerk. […]...
11. Перевод слова counter Counter – конторка, прилавок; счетчик Перевод слова To clear counter – сбрасывать счетчик counter counts up – счетчик работает на сложение check-out counter – контрольно-кассовый пункт A shopman was at the Counter. За прилавком стоял продавец. Goods are sold and money paid over the Counter. Товары продаются и оплачиваются у прилавка. “Good morning,” said the […]...
12. The Amazing Flying Dog A woman is out looking for a pet, and so she’s trying the local pet shops. She walks into a small pet shop and explains her need to the attendant. He thinks for a moment and then says, “I’ve got just the thing for you madam. I’ll just get him.” With that, he disappears into […]...
13. Paying bills Walking up to a department store’s fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, “I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?” “Only one kiss per yard, ” replied the smirking male clerk. “That’s fine,” replied the girl. “I’ll take ten yards.” With expectation and anticipation written all over his […]...
14. Перевод слова label Label – этикетка, ярлык, наклейка Перевод слова To put labels on one’s luggage – наклеить бирки с адресом на свой багаж to sew on a label – пришивать ярлык brand label – ярлык производителя The file was Labelled ‘Top Secret’. Папка была помечена грифом “Совершенно секретно”. He peered at the Label on the bottle. Он […]...
15. Значение идиомы on the shelf [on the shelf] {adv.} or {adj. phr.}, {informal} Laid aside; notuseful anymore. When a girl grows up, she puts childish habits onthe shelf. Mr. Myron’s company put him on the shelf when hereached the age of 65....
16. A Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg A Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg who many years ago was stranded late one night at a fashionable resort – one that did not admit Jews. The desk clerk looked down at his book and said, “Sorry, no room. The hotel is full.” The Jewish lady said, “But your sign says that you have vacancies.” […]...
17. The newly divorced woman The newly divorced woman had never had to be the handyman around the house before, and quickly discovered she was lacking most of the proper tools to do the odd jobs needed. She made a trip to the local hardware store and quickly learned that it was truly a “man’s world” there. Thinking that she […]...
18. Перевод слова clerk Clerk – клерк, администратор Перевод слова Bank clerk – банковский служащий correspondence clerk – корреспондент telegraph clerk – телеграфист He Clerks in a supermarket. Он работает продавцом в супермаркете. The Clerk recorded their names in the register. Клерк записал их имена в реестр. The Clerk was well bounced for his carelessness. За халатность клерку сурово […]...
19. Значение идиомы go from bad to worse [go from bad to worse] {adv. phr.} To change from a bad position orcondition to a worse one; become worse. Dick’s typing went from badto worse when he was tired. Jack’s conduct in school has gone frombad to worse. Compare: OUT OF THE PRYING PAN INTO THE FIRE....
20. Shopping for Shoes Clerk: Can I help you find something? Alissa: Yes, I’m looking for some Dress shoes for work, something with a low Heel. Clerk: Have you tried this Brand? They make really comfortable shoes. This company makes several styles of dress shoes, including a Sandal, a low Boot, and a Loafer. These right here are Open […]...
21. Shopping for Shoes Clerk: Can I help you find something? Alissa: Yes, I’m looking for some Dress shoes for work, something with a low Heel. Clerk: Have you tried this Brand? They make really comfortable shoes. This company makes several styles of dress shoes, including a Sandal, a low Boot, and a Loafer. These right here are Open […]...
22. Two newlyweds are riding in the back of a limo Two newlyweds are riding in the back of a limo on the way to their honeymoon boat cruise. The husband says, “Honey, I want to stop and pick up some condoms before we go.” “Good idea,” she says. “While you’re in there, pick me up some Dramamine.” The groom gets out, walks into the drugstore […]...
23. Значение идиомы under the counter [under the counter] {adv. phr.}, {informal} Secretly. That book has been banned, but there is one place you canget it under the counter. The liquor dealer was arrested forselling beer under the counter to teenagers. – Also used like anadjective, with hyphens. During World War II, some stores keptscarce things hidden for under-the-counter-sales to good […]...
24. Speaking to a Store Clerk on the Phone Clerk: Hello. Levin’s Music. Ariel: Hello. I was wondering if you Carry classical CD’s. Clerk: Yes, we have a pretty large Selection. What are you looking for? Ariel: I’m trying to find the Latest Reunion Island Ensemble CD. Clerk: I’m not sure we have that In stock. We have a lot of CD’s on Back […]...
25. A man walked into a gift shop that sold religious items A man walked into a gift shop that sold religious items. Near the cash register he saw a display of caps with “WWJD” printed on all of them. He was puzzled over what the letters could mean, but couldn’t figure it out, so he asked the clerk. The clerk replied that the letters stood for […]...
26. Значение идиомы get off one’s case [get off one’s case] or [back] or [tail] {v. phr.} To stopbothering and constantly checking up on someone; quit hounding one. “Get off my case!” he cried angrily. “You’re worse than the cops.” Contrast: ON ONE’S CASE....
27. Перевод слова worse Worse – худший, хуже Перевод слова Much worse – намного хуже not a penny the worse – нисколько не хуже to take a turn for the worse – измениться к худшему Worse cannot happen. Ничего худшего не может случиться. He became a lot Worse. Ему стало намного хуже. If she’s Worse in the morning, I’ll […]...
28. Speaking to a Store Clerk on the Phone Clerk: Hello. Levin’s Music. Ariel: Hello. I was wondering if you Carry classical CD’s. Clerk: Yes, we have a pretty large Selection. What are you looking for? Ariel: I’m trying to find the Latest Reunion Island Ensemble CD. Clerk: I’m not sure we have that In stock. We have a lot of CD’s on Back […]...
29. Buying a Bicycle I went to the Bike shop On Saturday morning to buy a bicycle. Clerk: What kind of bike are you looking for? Lance: I’m really not sure. Clerk: Well, let me show you what we have. We carry Road bikes, mountain bikes, beach cruisers, and Racing bikes. Lance: I’m going to start biking to work. […]...
30. Buying a Bicycle I went to the Bike shop On Saturday morning to buy a bicycle. Clerk: What kind of bike are you looking for? Lance: I’m really not sure. Clerk: Well, let me show you what we have. We carry Road bikes, mountain bikes, beach cruisers, and Racing bikes. Lance: I’m going to start biking to work. […]...
31. What Not to Name Your Dog Everybody has a dog called Rover or Spot. I call my dog “Sex”. When I went to city hall to buy a licence I told the clerk I wanted a licence for Sex. He said “I’d like one too.” But then I said “This is a dog.” He said he didn’t care what she looked […]...
32. The dog and the butcher A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbour of his. The neighbour happened to be a lawyer. Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbour and said, “Hey, if your dog stole a roast from my […]...
33. Slight confusion One night a police officer named Mike was working the grave-yard shift and he drove to his house around 3 A. M. in the morning. He opened the door to the bedroom quietly and took off his clothes in the dark, and got in bed with his wife. Then she said,”Honey, can you go over […]...
34. I am looking for a job as a consultant Job Applicant: “I’m looking for a job as a consultant.” Employer: “I’m sorry, we already have enough cosultants.” Applicant: “That’s ok, with my experience, I can be an advisor.” Employer: “More than we can use already.” Applicant: As he is getting desperate, “I’m not proud, I can do paperwork, I’ll be a clerk, If you […]...
35. Значение идиомы for the worse [for the worse] {adj. phr.} or {adv. phr.} For something that isworse or not as good, with a worse result. He bought a new car butit turned out to be for the worse. The sick man’s conditionchanged for the worse. Compare: TAKE A TURN. Contrast: FOR THEBETTER....
36. A dog walks into a butcher shop A dog walks into a butcher shop with a purse strapped around his neck. He walks up to the meat case and calmly sits there until it’s his turn to be waited on. A man, who was already in the butcher shop, finished his purchase and noticed the dog. The butcher leaned over the counter […]...
37. Two AA batteries Woman goes into a hardware store and asks the clerk for two AA batteries. The clerk gestures with his fingers and says, “Come this way,” and heads towards the back of the store. “If I could come that way,” she tells the retreating clerk, “I wouldn’t need the batteries.”...
38. Having Car Trouble As I was driving home from work, my car started Acting up. It was making a strange noise and the engine was Running roughly. When I got home, I Popped Open the Hood to see if there was anything wrong. After looking around for a few minutes and not seeing anything, I decided to take […]...
39. I know you were drunk yesterday A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at three in the morning, at which time he is extremely drunk. After leaving the bar, he returns home on foot. When he enters his house, he doesn’t want to wake anyone, so he takes off his […]...
40. Значение идиомы for better or worse [for better or worse] or [for better or for worse] {adv. phr.} 1.With good or bad effect, depending on how one looks at the matter. The historian did justice, for better or worse, to the careers ofseveral famous men. 2. Under any eventuality; forever; always. Alex and Masha decided to leave Moscow and come to […]...