A Purple Heart

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1. There were 2 old-maid sisters, both virgins There were 2 old-maid sisters… both virgins. It’s Friday night and Gladys looks at Betty and says, “I’m not going to die a virgin… I’m going out and I’m not... ...
2. A man answers the phone and has the following A man answers the phone and has the following conversation: “Yes, mother, I’ve had a hard day. Gladys has been most difficult – I know I ought to be more... ...
3. Being a Stay-at-Home Dad Gladys: Hi, Dan. I’m surprised to see you here at the supermarket in the middle of the day. Dan: Why? Gladys: I thought you’d be working. Dan: I am working.... ...
4. Перевод слова decent Decent – подходящий, приличный, порядочный Перевод слова Decent people – добропорядочные люди decent conditions – приличные условия decent in conversation – сдержанный в выражениях Are there any Decent schools in... ...
5. Перевод слова soldier Soldier – солдат, рядовой, военнослужащий Перевод слова The Unknown Soldier – неизвестный солдат a soldier defects – солдат дезертирует seasoned soldier – закаленный боец The Soldier had a weekend pass.... ...
6. A hundred dollars A man comes home drunk in the wee hours of the morning to find his wife angry and waiting for him at the door. “Out drinking again!?” she says. “How... ...
7. Mr. Jones had hired a new secretary Mr. Jones had hired a new secretary. She was young, sweet and very polite. While taking dictation one morning, she noticed that his fly was open. Upon leaving the room... ...
8. The CIA was recruiting for a top secret assignment The CIA was recruiting for a top secret assignment. They were down to three recruits, two men and one woman. Only one could get the position. As a final test... ...
9. The little sexy housewife was built so well The little sexy housewife was built so well the TV repairman couldn’t keep his eyes off of her. Every time she came in the room, he’d near about jerk his... ...
10. Значение идиомы lose one’s heart [lose one’s heart] {v. phr.} To fall in love; begin to love. Shelost her heart to the soldier with the broad shoulders and the deepvoice. Bill lost his heart to... ...
11. The Tell-Tale Heart на английском языке писателя Edgar Allan Poe TRUE! nervous, very, very dreadfully nervous I had been and am; but why WILL you say that I am mad? The disease had sharpened my senses, not destroyed, not dulled... ...
12. Types of Views Andrea: Help me decide on which type of hotel room To book. George: I want the one with a bed. Andrea: Very funny. We have a choice of different views,... ...
13. Egg joke In a similar vein, tell your victim that you have a test of coordination you would like him to try with you. Find a door with a fairly large crack... ...
14. Перевод слова meal Meal – еда, пища; мука крупного помола Перевод слова Frugal meal – скромная пища a hair of meal – очень маленькая порция еды to take in a lading of meal... ...
15. I think I try a nicer approach Every night, after dinner, a man took off for the local tavern. He spent the whole evening there, and arrived home very drunk around midnight each night. He always had... ...
16. Перевод слова purple Purple – пурпурный цвет, фиолетовый, лиловый Перевод слова Purple sunset – багряный закат to turn purple with rage – побагроветь от ярости purple brown – темно-пурпуровый цвет Its colour is... ...
17. Guilty Scene: A court room in Oklahoma where a person is on trial for murder. There is strong evidence indicating guilt; however, there is no corpse. In the defense’s closing statement... ...
18. HEGS The Doctor tells his patient that he has H-E-G-S “What’s that?”, the patient asks. “It’s a combination of Herpes, Encephalitis, Gonorrhea and Syphyllis.” The patient wants to know if there’s... ...
19. Little Gregory wakes up in the middle of the night Little Gregory wakes up in the middle of the night feeling alone and scared. He goes into his mother’s room for comfort and he sees his mom standing naked in... ...
20. A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man, had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer. The farmer said,... ...
21. Like to screw? It’s the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date. He’s a pretty hip guy with his own car. When he goes to the front door, the... ...
22. Seems that the traveling salesman was driving in the country Seems that the traveling salesman was driving in the country and his car broke down. He hiked several miles to a farm house, and asked the farmer if there was... ...
23. Perfect customer A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation. He wrote, “I would very much like to bring my... ...
24. Where are my pyjamas? A man calls his wife and says to her, “Honey, I just got the chance of a lifetime to go on a week-long fishing trip with my boss. Could you... ...
25. What Will Be There in My New Flat В топике Что будет в моей новой квартире – я делюсь своими планами о будущей жизни в моей собственной квартире. Я хочу 3-х комнатную квартиру, просторную и удобную, с множеством... ...
26. Mr. Smith was brought to Mercy Hospital Mr. Smith was brought to Mercy Hospital (a Catholic hospital), and taken quickly in for coronary surgery. The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was... ...
27. No exit An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess; the route they were flying had a stay-over in another city. Upon their arrival the captain showed the... ...
28. On a very cold night On a very cold night, a young man dropped into the local brothel and the madam said, “You’ll have to wait.” “But there’s lots of girls that aren’t busy right... ...
29. During WW II an American soldier During WW II an American soldier had been on the front lines in Europe for three months, when he was finally given a week of R&R. He caught a supply... ...
30. Wanting Peace and Quiet After three days of travel and meetings, I returned to my hotel room ready for some Downtime. All I wanted was some Peace and quiet so I could get a... ...
31. Перевод идиомы heart-to-heart, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: heart-to-heart Перевод: интимный, сердечный Пример: The couple had a heart-to-heart talk before they decided to get married. Перед тем, как эта пара решила пожениться, у них был сердечный разговор....
32. Значение идиомы door [door] See: AT DEATH’S DOOR, AT ONE’S DOOR, CLOSED-DOOR, CLOSE ITS DOORS, CLOSE THE DOOR or BAR THE DOOR or SHUT THE DOOR, DARKEN ONE’S DOOR, or DARKEN THE DOOR,... ...
33. Buying your ticket Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a... ...
34. Humor about Drunk Irishmen 2 Casey McCarthy had just arrived in New York City and was amazed at the enormity of everything. Having drunk a pint or two on the flight over, he sorely needed... ...
35. Traditions A man and a woman got married, and he told her : ” since you are my wife you should respect my traditions and habits…and i have 3 traditions. So,... ...
36. Перевод слова gather Gather – собираться, собирать, скопляться Перевод слова To gather a crowd – собрать толпу clouds gathered – тучи сгущались to gather a train – комплектовать поездной состав Give me just... ...
37. Значение идиомы have a heart-to-heart talk [have a heart-to-heart talk] {v. phr.} To confide in someone withgreat intimacy. Jill and her mother had a heart-to-heart talkbefore she decided to move in with Andrew....
38. Reward these soldiers for their work A British General had sent some of his men off to fight for their country in the Falkland Island Crisis. Upon returning to England from the South American island, three... ...
39. At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens. “It opens at noon,” answers the clerk. About... ...
40. This rich couple were going out for the evening This rich couple were going out for the evening when the woman of the house decided to give the butler the rest of the night off. She said they would... ...