Persistency Act

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1. Using nails on a house These two newfies are building a house. One of them is putting on the siding. He picks up a nail, hammers it in. Picks up another nail, throws it away.... ...
2. A Snail buys a fast New Car A snail buys a fast new car. There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow. He decided to get some fast... ...
3. ZHow offensive is that? How offensive is that? Jesus has just been nailed to the cross and has begun to suffer from the wounds, A crowd has gathered to watch and sympathize with Him.... ...
4. Good fortune A man walks along a lonely beach. Suddenly he hears a deep voice: DIG! He looks around: nobody’s there. I am having hallucinations, he thinks. Then he hears the voice... ...
5. A wild party Sam has been in the computer business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alabama to... ...
6. A push A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it’s half past three in... ...
7. A man comes home and hears hard breathing female noises A man comes home and hears hard breathing female noises from inside the aprtment, walks inside to find his wife on the floor of the living room naked. Wife yells,... ...
8. You’re not going to believe this! A woman got a problem with her closet door – it was felling every time a bus was passing by. So she called a repair man. The repairman comes and... ...
9. Doing the Dishes A young man has always dreamed on owning a Harley Davidson. One day he has finally saved up enough money so he goes down to the dealer. After picking out... ...
10. A middle-aged man recieves a brazillian parrot A middle-aged man recieves a brazillian parrot for his birthday. The only problem with this parrot is its attitude due to the influence of its former owner, who is now... ...
11. Перевод сленгового выражения doormat, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: doormat Перевод: слабый человек, с которым постоянно плохо относятся, которого оскорбляют, и т. д. Пример: Ned will never get anywhere until he stops being such a doormat. Нед... ...
12. The CIA was recruiting for a top secret assignment The CIA was recruiting for a top secret assignment. They were down to three recruits, two men and one woman. Only one could get the position. As a final test... ...
13. The right way to ask a question A Jewish guy in a London hotel calls the operator and asks, in broken English with a heavy Lithuanian-Yiddish accent, for number 266418. A short time later, someone knocks, and... ...
14. This is one smart dog A butcher is leaning on the counter toward the close of day when a dog with a basket in its jaws comes pushing through the door. “An’ wot’s this then?”... ...
15. Homework One day, when Billy came home from school, his mom asked him how his day went. He said, “We’re learning about sexual education.” She smiled, and said, “At least he’s... ...
16. Значение идиомы snail’s pace [snail’s pace] {n.} A very slow movement forward. Time moved ata snail’s pace before the holidays. The donkey on which he wasriding moved at a snail’s pace....
17. Bass Q: Why did the bass player get mad at the timpanist? A: He turned a peg and wouldn’t tell the bass player which one. Q: How many bass players does... ...
18. An Amazing Talking Dog A man and his dog walk into a bar. The man proclaims, “I’ll bet you a round of drinks that my dog can talk.” Bartender: “Yeah! Sure…go ahead.” Man: “What... ...
19. The teacher hears Little Johnny cussing, and The teacher hears Little Johnny cussing, and gets pissed off. She goes bitching to Little Johnny’s father. She comes to Little Johnny’s house and sees Little Johnny fucking a goat... ...
20. There were 2 old-maid sisters, both virgins There were 2 old-maid sisters… both virgins. It’s Friday night and Gladys looks at Betty and says, “I’m not going to die a virgin… I’m going out and I’m not... ...
21. Перевод сленгового выражения snail mail, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: snail mail Перевод: письма, отправленные через почтовое отделение; обычная почта, корреспонденция (не электронная почта) Пример: It can take a week to send a letter by snail mail. Обычной... ...
22. Little Johnny’s dad is sitting on the side of the bed Little Johnny’s dad is sitting on the side of the bed rolling on a condom about to give his wife some. Little Johnny sticks his head in the door, sees... ...
23. A drill instructor at Airborne school was A drill instructor at Airborne school was lecturing a group of new troops on making a proper jump. He told them: “When I yell Stand Up, you Stand Up. When... ...
24. Larry, a local football star, is jogging down the street Larry, a local football star, is jogging down the street when he sees a building on fire. A lady is standing on a third story ledge holding her pet cat... ...
25. Перевод слова somebody Somebody – кто-то, кто-нибудь, кто-либо Перевод слова Somebody is knocking – кто-то стучит somebody is missing – кого-то не хватает I want somebody strong enough to… – мне нужен кто-нибудь... ...
26. A door-to-door vacuum salesman goes A door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house in his new territory. He knocks, a real mean and tough looking lady opens the door, and before she has a... ...
27. Appropriate punishment Through the kitchen window a farmer’s wife sees her son coming home from school. The boy’s in a bad mood, and as he crosses the field he kicks a pig.... ...
28. This guy is walking through Chinatown and sees a building This guy is walking through Chinatown and sees a building with a sign “Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry.” “Hans Olaffsen?”, he thinks. “How in the world does that fit in here?” So,... ...
29. Bying a horse This guy owns a horse stud farm, and gets a call from a friend “I know this midget with a speech impediment who wants to buy a horse, I’m sending... ...
30. Значение идиомы out in left field [out in left field] {adj. phr.}, {informal} Far from the rightanswer; wrong; astray. Johnny tried to answer the teacher’squestion but he was way out in left field. Susan tried to... ...
31. Bill and Hillary are at the first baseball game of Bill and Hillary are at the first baseball game of the season. Suddenly Clinton grabs Hillary by the collar and throws her over the side and onto the field. The... ...
32. A fellow, who had spent his whole life in the desert A fellow, who had spent his whole life in the desert, comes to visit a friend. He’d never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While standing in... ...
33. You Can Never Really Go Back You Can Never Really Go Back There was this couple who had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table that morning when the old gentleman... ...
34. Значение идиомы open the door [open the door] {v. phr.} To allow more action or discussion; givea chance. Learning to read and write opens the door to a better joband better living conditions. Raising the... ...
35. A Purple Heart A decorated war veteran, fresh off the bus, is looking for a place to stay. He hears that room and board is available from the three old spinsters at the... ...
36. Rolls Royce vs. Yugo A guy driving a Yugo pulled up to a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. He rolled down his window and shouted to the driver of the Rolls. “Hey, buddy, that’s... ...
37. At The Superbowl Bob received a free ticket to the Superbowl from his company. Unfortunately, when Bob arrived at the stadium he realizes the seat is in the last row in the corner... ...
38. A young kid’s in a shipwreck and he winds up stranded A young kid’s in a shipwreck and he winds up stranded on a tropical island. For twenty years he never sees another human being. Then one day a beautiful girl... ...
39. At school Little Johnny was told by a classmate At school Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by... ...
40. Two old women were sitting on a bench waiting for their bus Two old women were sitting on a bench waiting for their bus. The buses were running late, and a lot of time passed. Finally, one woman turned to the other... ...