A drummer, tired of being ridiculed by his peers

Related topics:

1. A man walks into a pharmacy, buys a condom A man walks into a pharmacy, buys a condom, then walks out of the store laughing hysterically. The pharmacist thinks this is weird, but, hey, there’s no law preventing weird people from buying condoms. Maybe it’s a good thing. The next day, the man comes back to the store, purchases another condom, and once again […]...
2. Accordions An accordion is a bagpipe with pleats. Q: What is the definition of an optimist? A: An accordion player with a pager. Q: What is the difference between an Uzi and an accordion? A: The Uzi stops after 20 rounds. Q: What do accordion players use as a contraceptive? A: Their personalities. Q: What’s the […]...
3. I’ll use my Seeing Eye Dog A blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store. The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head. The store manager, who has seen all this, thinks this is quite […]...
4. Shoe shopping A man walks into a shoe store… …and tries on a pair of shoes. “How do they feel?” asks the sales clerk. “Well… they feel a bit tight.” replies the man. The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and the mans feet. “Try pulling the tongue out.” offers the clerk. […]...
5. Trumpet Q: How many lead trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Fifty. One to do it and the others to stand around and say, “I could do that better. Q: What do lead trumpet players use for birth control? A: Their personality. Q: What is the difference between a trumpet soloist […]...
6. Перевод слова tired Tired – усталый, утомленный, исчерпанный Перевод слова Tired face – утомленное лицо a tired joke – избитый анекдот tired apple – сморщенное яблоко old, tired dress – старое, изношенное платье She was Tired and sleepy. Она очень устала, и ей очень хотелось спать. I’m Tired. Let’s go home. Я устал. Давайте пойдем домой. I was […]...
7. A woman walks into a pet store A woman walks into a pet store wanting to buy a pet for her husband, but she finds all the pets are so so expensive. The woman says to the clerk at the counter, “I’m looking to buy a pet for my husband but I’m on a very short budget!.” “No worries,” replies the clerk. […]...
8. A guy walks into a pet store wanting a parrot A guy walks into a pet store wanting a parrot. The store clerk shows him two beautiful ones out on the floor. “This one’s $5,000 and the other is $10,000.” the clerk said. “Wow! What does the $5,000 one do?” “This parrot can sing every aria Mozart ever wrote.” “And the other?” said the customer. […]...
9. Slight confusion One night a police officer named Mike was working the grave-yard shift and he drove to his house around 3 A. M. in the morning. He opened the door to the bedroom quietly and took off his clothes in the dark, and got in bed with his wife. Then she said,”Honey, can you go over […]...
10. Stolen Car Stolen Car A man walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him, and approaches, “Can I help you, sir?” “Yesssh! Sssshomebody ssshtole my car!” the man replies. The cop asks, “Where was your car the last time you saw it?” “It […]...
11. Edward walks out of a bar Edward walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches. “Can I help you, fella?”, asks the cop. “Yesssh, ssshombody stol my car!” Edward replies. The cop asks, “Okay, where was your car the last time you saw it?”. “It […]...
12. Значение идиомы sick and tired [sick and tired] {adj.} 1. Feeling strong dislike for somethingrepeated or continued too long; exasperated; annoyed. Jane was sickand tired of always having to wait for Bill, so when he didn’t arriveon time she left without him. John is sick and tired of having hisstudies interrupted. I’ve been studying all day, and I’m sick andtired […]...
13. Значение идиомы dead tired [dead tired] {adj. phr.}, {informal} Very tired; exhausted; worn out. She was dead tired at the end of the day’s work. Compare: DEAD ON ONE’S FEET....
14. Speaking to a Store Clerk on the Phone Clerk: Hello. Levin’s Music. Ariel: Hello. I was wondering if you Carry classical CD’s. Clerk: Yes, we have a pretty large Selection. What are you looking for? Ariel: I’m trying to find the Latest Reunion Island Ensemble CD. Clerk: I’m not sure we have that In stock. We have a lot of CD’s on Back […]...
15. Speaking to a Store Clerk on the Phone Clerk: Hello. Levin’s Music. Ariel: Hello. I was wondering if you Carry classical CD’s. Clerk: Yes, we have a pretty large Selection. What are you looking for? Ariel: I’m trying to find the Latest Reunion Island Ensemble CD. Clerk: I’m not sure we have that In stock. We have a lot of CD’s on Back […]...
16. Main Vice President Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn’t take it any longer, and told him, “Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of peas at the grocery store!”. “Really?” […]...
17. Two AA batteries Woman goes into a hardware store and asks the clerk for two AA batteries. The clerk gestures with his fingers and says, “Come this way,” and heads towards the back of the store. “If I could come that way,” she tells the retreating clerk, “I wouldn’t need the batteries.”...
18. The Presidential watches A man goes to a jewelry store looking to buy a watch. He looks at a watch called “the George Bush Watch” and asks the sales clerk why there are no hands. The sales clerk says – “you are suppose to read his lips”. He then looks at a watch called the “Ross Perot Watch” […]...
19. Перевод идиомы dead tired, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: dead tired Перевод: очень уставший; вымотанный Пример: I was dead tired so I went to bed when I got home. Я жутко устал, так что я сразу лег спать, как пришел домой....
20. The Video Rental A blonde named Mary decides to do something really wild. Something she hasn’t done before, so she goes out to rent her first X-rated adult video. She goes to the video store, and after looking around for a while, selects a title that sounds very stimulating. She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something […]...
21. Перевод идиомы dog tired, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: dog tired Перевод: усталый, как собака; очень усталый, вымотанный Пример: Janis was dog tired after the series. She played every game. После соревнований Дженис была усталой, как собака. Она сыграла в каждой игре....
22. Buying a Digital Audio (MP3) Player Clerk: Can I help you? Sandy: I’m looking for an MP3 player, but I don’t know a lot about them. Clerk: We have a large Selection, as you can see. Sandy: Wow, I really don’t know where to begin. Clerk: What do you want to be able to do? Sandy: I just want something small […]...
23. Buying a Digital Audio (MP3) Player Clerk: Can I help you? Sandy: I’m looking for an MP3 player, but I don’t know a lot about them. Clerk: We have a large Selection, as you can see. Sandy: Wow, I really don’t know where to begin. Clerk: What do you want to be able to do? Sandy: I just want something small […]...
24. Перевод идиомы sick and tired of someone or something, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: sick and tired of someone or something Перевод: не любить что-либо или кого-либо; сильно устать от кого-либо или чего-либо Пример: I am sick and tired of my friend’s constant complaining. Мне жутко надоело постоянное нытье моего друга....
25. A blind man walks into a drug store with his seeing eye dog A blind man walks into a drug store with his seeing eye dog. He takes the dogs leash & starts swinging it around & around his head. The druggist says “May I help you?” The blind man replies “No thank you, I’m just looking around.”...
26. A department store A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and asks, “W-w-w-where’s the m-m-m-men’s dep-p-p-partment?” The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing. The man repeats himself: “W-w-w-where’s the m-m-m-men’s dep-p-p-partment?” Again, the clerk doesn’t answer him. The guy asks several more times: […]...
27. Next time you think your hotel bill is too high you might want to consider this Husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston After almost twenty-four hours on the road, They’re too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back […]...
28. Isaac and Hymie were two tired Brooklyn businessmen who Isaac and Hymie were two tired Brooklyn businessmen who were ordered to take a Caribbean cruise by their doctors. The second night out on the way to Martinique they were leaning against the rail, looking at the big bright tropical moon on the sea, really starting to unwind. Suddenly the rail broke and both Jews […]...
29. Fire and Firefighters Rebecca: Look, there’s Smoke coming from six Stories up. Hugh: Yes, I know. Didn’t you hear the Fire alarm go off upstairs a few minutes ago? Rebecca: No, but I’m really glad there’s a Fire station only a few blocks away. Hey look, there’s the Fire engine. Here come the Firefighters! Hugh: Yeah, let’s get […]...
30. A blonde decided that she was tired of her empty life A blonde decided that she was tired of her empty life. She cut her hair and dyed it brown, and set off for a drive. She wanted to do random acts of kindness to see if it would change her life. While driving through the countryside, she came across a farmer who was trying to […]...
31. At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens. “It opens at noon,” answers the clerk. About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even= drunker. “What time does the bar open?” he asks. “Same time as […]...
32. A life-long city man, tired of the rat race A life-long city man, tired of the rat race, decided he was going to give up the city life, move to the country, and become a chicken farmer. He found a nice, used chicken farm, which he bought. Turns out that his next door neighbor was also a chicken farmer. The neighbor came for a […]...
33. I saw a pen in a store the other day I saw a pen in a store the other day. I picked it up and took a look at it cause it was prettier than most. The clerk said, “It’s made in Germany”. I said, “That’s too bad, I can’t use it then”. The clerk said, “What’s the matter? You don’t like German pens?” I […]...
34. Buying Souvenirs I was vacationing in Miami, Florida, and I went into a Souvenir store to get some gifts for friends back home. Lydia: Could you show me where the T-shirts Are? Clerk: Sure, they’re on the left, along the wall. Can I help you find something? Lydia: I’d like to get a T-shirt, but I’m not […]...
35. A bar name A guy walks into a store and says to the managaer “why doesn’t your store have a name”, the store manager says “I haven’t thought of one yet but I think u can help me, what’s your girlfriend’s name.” The guy says “Jenny” then the store owner says “What’s do you like most about Jenny” […]...
36. Buying Souvenirs I was vacationing in Miami, Florida, and I went into a Souvenir store to get some gifts for friends back home. Lydia: Could you show me where the T-shirts Are? Clerk: Sure, they’re on the left, along the wall. Can I help you find something? Lydia: I’d like to get a T-shirt, but I’m not […]...
37. Please show the I. D The following supposedly a true story. This guy walked into a little corner store with a shot gun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the […]...
38. A technical bastard A couple arrived at town hall seconds before closing time, and caught a judge just as he was about to leave, and asked him to marry them. He asked if they had a license and, when they didn’t, sent them off to get one. They caught the town clerk just as he was locking up, […]...
39. Ways to Pay I was at the store, and when the clerk finished Ringing me up, I had a few problems. Clerk: Your total comes to $79.42. Peter: Do you take Credit cards? Clerk: Yes, we take Visa, MasterCard, and American Express. Peter: Here’s my Visa. Clerk: Hmm…I’m sorry but your card has been Declined. Peter: Oh, I […]...
40. Ways to Pay I was at the store, and when the clerk finished Ringing me up, I had a few problems. Clerk: Your total comes to $79.42. Peter: Do you take Credit cards? Clerk: Yes, we take Visa, MasterCard, and American Express. Peter: Here’s my Visa. Clerk: Hmm…I’m sorry but your card has been Declined. Peter: Oh, I […]...