Seventy year old George went for his annual physical

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1. Перевод слова seventySeventy — семьдесят, семидесятый Перевод слова A man of seventy — семидесятилетний мужчина seventy houses — семьдесят домов chapter seventy — семидесятая глава seventy-one — семьдесят один He was doing Seventy. Он ехал со скоростью семьдесят миль в час. He must be about Seventy. Ему должно быть около семидесяти лет. The house was appraised at ... Читать далее...
2. Перевод слова annualAnnual — ежегодный, годовой Перевод слова Annual bonus — ежегодная премия annual budget — ежегодный бюджет annual earnings — ежегодная прибыль annual function — ежегодный прием Each worker receives an Annual bonus. Каждый работник получает ежегодный бонус. The company’s Annual sales turnover is around $300 million. Годовой товарооборот компании составляет около 300 млн. долл....
3. During her annual checkup, the well-constructed missDuring her annual checkup, the well-constructed miss was asked to disrobe and climb onto the examining table. «Doctor,» she replied shyly, «I just can’t undress in front of you.» «All right,» said the physician, «I’ll flick off the lights. You undress and tell me when you’re through.» In a few moments, her voice rang out ... Читать далее...
4. There were two bulls, a young one named George and an old one named SamThere were two bulls, a young one named George and an old one named Sam. It was that time of year to satisfy the local female population, and young George was pretty excited. «Sam, Sam, can I go down to those heifers over there?» asked George. «George, relax. Here is how it works. We’ll wait ... Читать далее...
5. Перевод слова light-yearLight-year — световой год Перевод слова He estimated the distance to the center of the chamber as about a Light-year. Расстояние до центра зала показалось ему длиною в световой год. People could just up and go anywhere they wished, on their own-a mile or a million Light-years. Люди смогут переноситься по желанию куда захотят, не ... Читать далее...
6. Playtonic relationshipA nosey neighbour remonstrated with the woman in the adjoining apartment. «Mrs Smith, do you think it is right that a seventeen year old boy spends three hours every night in your apartment?» Mrs Smith replied. «Its a platonic friendship. Its play for him and a tonic for me.»...
7. One day a guy was driving with his 4-year-old daughterOne day a guy was driving with his 4-year-old daughter and beeped his car horn by mistake. She turned and looked at him for an explanation. He said, «I did that by accident.» She replied, «I know that, daddy.» He replied, «How’d you know?» The girl said, «Because you didn’t say ‘ASSHOLE!’ afterwards!»...
8. A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughterA mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter. Mother: «What does the cow say?» Child: «Moooo!» Mother: «Great! What does the cat say?» Child: «Meow.» Mother: «Oh, you’re so smart! What does the frog say?» And this wide-eyed little three-year-old looked up at her mother and replied, «Bud.»...
9. Two Polish guys went away on their annual hunting expeditionTwo Polish guys went away on their annual hunting expedition, and by accident one was shot by the other. His worried companion got him out of the deep woods, into the car, and off to the nearest hospital. «Well, Doc,» he inquired anxiously, «is he going to make it?» «It’s tough,» said the doctor. «He’d ... Читать далее...
10. An old man and his wife went to the doctor for a check-upAn old man and his wife went to the doctor for a check-up. While the man is with the doctor, the doctor askes him, «So how has life been treating you?» The old man replies,»The Lord’s been good to me. Every night when I go to the bathroom, He turns the light on and when ... Читать далее...
11. One night, an 87-year-old womanOne night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her husband in bed with another woman. Angry, she became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their apartment, killing him instantly. When brought before the court on charges of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say to ... Читать далее...
12. Late one night, little Johnny woke up to the some loud noisesLate one night, little Johnny woke up to the some loud noises coming from his parents’ bedroom. He got out of bed and walked down the hall towards his parents room. Before he made it to the end of the hall, the noises had ceased and the bathroom light had gone on. Little Johnny walked ... Читать далее...
13. Перевод идиомы year after year, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: year after year Перевод: много лет, год за годом Пример: We went to the lake year after year until we finally got tired of it. Мы из года в год ходили на озеро, пока, наконец, нам это не надоело....
14. Перевод идиомы year in, year out, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: year in, year out Перевод: год за годом, из года в год, много лет подряд, постоянно, всегда Пример: Year in and year out the city had to spend money to fix the old stadium. Из года в год городу приходится тратить деньги на ремонт этого старого стадиона....
15. George W. Bush was passing through an airplane terminalGeorge W. Bush was passing through an airplane terminal and he noticed an old man in a long white robe, with a long white beard, long white hair and carrying two stone tablets in his arms. He approached the man and asked, «Aren’t you Moses?» But the man wouldn’t listen to him and continued walking. ... Читать далее...
16. A little nine year old girl was in church with her motherA little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. «Mommy,» she said. «Can we leave now?» «No,» her mother replied. «Well, I think I have to throw up!» «Then go out the front door and to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush.» ... Читать далее...
17. A 70-year-old man has never been marriedA 70-year-old man has never been married. One day he meets a beautiful 17-year-old girl, and it is love at first sight. They get married and go to Florida for their honeymoon. When they get back, his friend says to him, «So, tell me, how was it?» «Oh, it was beautiful,» says the man. «The ... Читать далее...
18. George Costanza’s Tips for Working Hard IGeorge Costanza’s Tips for Working Hard I Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands. People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they’re heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they’re ... Читать далее...
19. Former George Harrison, Eric Clapton Muse Pattie Boyd Spills the BeansPattie Boyd reveals details on her relationships with George Harrison and Eric Clapton in an autobiography. Legendary rock muse Pattie Boyd, who inspired Eric Clapton «Layla» and «Wonderful Tonight,» and, reputedly, George Harrison’s «Something,» is coming out with an autobiography, Wonderful Today, and doing interviews on her relationships with two of rock’s leading men. The ... Читать далее...
20. A man went to the doctor to get a physicalA man went to the doctor to get a physical, after the doctor examined him, he told the man he had some bad news… he had cancer and alzheimers. The man replied, » Well, at least I don’t have cancer»...
21. Purchasing new brainsA mid-level executive was so frustrated at being passed over for promotion year after year, that, in frustration, he went to a brain-transplant center in the hope of raising his I. Q. 20 points. After a battery of physical and psychological tests, he was told by the center’s director that he was an acceptable candidate. ... Читать далее...
22. Jake is 85, and he gets married to a 16-year-oldJake is 85, and he gets married to a 16-year-old. He walks into the local bar when he gets back from his honeymoon, and all the guys want to hear about his wedding night. Jake says, «Well, when we got to the hotel, my youngest son carried me up the stairs, undressed me, and lifted ... Читать далее...
23. 74-year-old attacks cars that run lightA retired teacher has become an Internet sensation after he lobbed dozens of bricks at cars that ran a red light at an intersection in Lanzhou, Gansu province. «I just want to catch people’s attention and tell the drivers to think of pedestrians,» the 74-year-old man told Lanzhou Morning Post on Saturday. Many residents in ... Читать далее...
24. The 70-year-old man sat down in the orthopedicThe 70-year-old man sat down in the orthopedic surgeon’s office. «You know, Doc,» he said, «I’ve made love in more exotic cars than anyone I know. Must be at least a thousand.» «And now, I suppose, you want me to treat you for the arthritis you got from scrunching up in all those uncomfortable positions,» ... Читать далее...
25. Ghosts in a White HouseOne night Bill Clinton was awakened by George Washington’s ghost in the White House. «George, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?» Clinton asked. «Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did,» advised George. The next night the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moved through the dark bedroom. «Tom, ... Читать далее...
26. Types of ViewsAndrea: Help me decide on which type of hotel room To book. George: I want the one with a bed. Andrea: Very funny. We have a choice of different views, and each one is a different price. For instance, a room with a City view is $175 a night and a Panoramic view is $275 ... Читать далее...
27. An old man, Mr. Smith, resided in a nursing homeAn old man, Mr. Smith, resided in a nursing home. One day he went into the nurses’ office and informed Nurse Jones that his penis died. Nurse Jones, realizing the Mr. Smith was old and forgetful decided to play along with him. «It did? I’m sorry to hear that,» she replied. Two days later, Mr. ... Читать далее...
28. Топик «Новый год в Великобритании» (New Year in Great Britain)Словарь: Piccadilly Circus — цирк Пикадилли The linked-arm — держась за руки Long-awaited — долгожданный Truly — искренне All night through — всю ночь Different ways — разными способами Trafalgar Square — Трафальгарская площадь New Year in United Kingdom is celebrated on January 1. This day was officially declared as New Year’s Day in 1752. ... Читать далее...
29. When I stopped the bus to pick up little five year old ChrisWhen I stopped the bus to pick up little five year old Chris for preschool, I noticed an older woman hugging him as he left the house. «Is that your grandmother?» I asked Chris when he boarded. «Yes,» Chris said. «She’s come to visit us for Christmas.» «How nice,» I said. «Where does she live?» ... Читать далее...
30. Sarah was a curious thirteen year old girlSarah was a curious thirteen year old girl. «Mommy,» she said, «I’d like you to answer one question.» «Very good,» replied her mother, «I was wondering when you would become curious about birds, flowers and bees.» «It’s not that,» said the girl. «I know all about screwing. What I would like to know is how ... Читать далее...
31. Preventing ShopliftingLuis: Wow, what happened here? I was only away on vacation for two weeks. Thelma: While you were gone, we Redesigned this store with an Anti-theft system. Luis: Is that why there are Surveillance cameras and Security guards everywhere? Thelma: That’s right. We’re losing too much money to Shoplifters and I’m finally doing something about ... Читать далее...
32. New Year’s PartyI walked into the office and saw Rob with his Head down on his desk. I Tapped him on the shoulder. Christy: You look like you had a good New Year’s. Rob: Yeah, too good. I’m trying To catch up on sleep. Christy: Oh yeah? What did you do? Rob: I went to a New ... Читать далее...
33. A mother was teaching her three year old daughterA mother was teaching her three year old daughter The Lord’s Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she repeated it after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride, as she carefully enunciated each word right up to the end…»And lead us not into temptation», she prayed, ... Читать далее...
34. George WashingtonGeorge Washington (1732-1799) won a lasting place in American History as the «Father of our Country». For nearly twenty years he guided his country much as a father cares for a growing child. Washington lived an exciting life in exciting times. As a boy, he explored the wilderness. When he grew older, he helped the ... Читать далее...
35. George W. Bush walks into a restaurant in Washington DCGeorge W. Bush walks into a restaurant in Washington DC with his wife Laura. The waiter approaches the table and asks for his order. «I’ll have your biggest, juiciest London Broil,» answers the President. «But sir, what about the mad cow?!!» asks the waiter. «Oh,» answers Dubya, «she’ll order for herself.»...
36. How do we celebrate New Year in Russia?В топике Как мы празднуем Новый год в России? – я расскажу, как празднует этот любимый всеми праздник моя семья. Мой отец заранее покупает красивую елку, а я с удовольствием наряжаю ее разными игрушками и гирляндами. Мама и бабушка готовят торжественный ужин, а я пеку торт. Мы встречаем Новый Год с нашими родственниками, все обмениваются ... Читать далее...
37. Two neighbors had been fighting each otherTwo neighbors had been fighting each other for nigh on four decades. Bob buys a Great Dane and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill’s yard. For one whole year Bill ignores the dog. So Bob then buys a cow and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill’s yard. After about a year ... Читать далее...
38. Five fingersA beautiful young woman marries this seventy year old bloke for his money. On their wedding night she joyfully jumps into bed and he holds up five fingers. «Oh darling!» she squeals with delight, Does that mean five times?» «No», says the old fellow, «it means that you can pick one out.»...
39. A New Year’s CruiseMy friends and I decided to do something a little different this year. Instead of going to a crowded club or throwing a party on New Year’s Eve, we decided to take a Harbor cruise instead. The cruise would be four hours long, and it included dinner, music, dancing, and a great view of the ... Читать далее...
40. Don’t Forget!An 80-year-old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctor’s, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor ... Читать далее...