Paying bills

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1. At the ripe old age of 77, grandpa had decided to marry At the ripe old age of 77, grandpa had decided to marry a young girl of 20. Grandpa’s doctor tried to explain that at his age sex with a young... ...
2. Paying the Bills Grace: Did you already pay the Bills for this month? Will: No, I haven’t gotten around to it yet. Why? Grace: We got a Late notice from the credit card... ...
3. Paying the Bills Grace: Did you already pay the Bills for this month? Will: No, I haven’t gotten around to it yet. Why? Grace: We got a Late notice from the credit card... ...
4. Значение идиомы There [There] or [here you are!] 1. Informal way to say, “Here is whatyou wanted.” The doorman politely opened the door of the taxi andsaid, “There you are, sir!” The clerk... ...
5. A necessary condition There were three little boys visiting their grandparents. The oldest came out and asked his grandpa, “Can you make a sound like a frog, Grandpappy? Grandpa (being in a kind... ...
6. A man was walking down the street when he noticed A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. “Grandpa, what are... ...
7. Grandpa and Little Johnny are sitting Grandpa and Little Johnny are sitting on a bench in the park. Johnny asked, “Grandpa are you going to take that new Viagra?” Grandpa looks at him and says “No... ...
8. An Irish man went to the courthouse to change his name An Irish man went to the courthouse to change his name legally changed. When he replied, the desk clerk asked “Can i help you sir?” Our man said “Yes, I... ...
9. Another ethnic joke A man of Polish ancestry walked up to the counter and asked for a Polish Meatball Sandwich. The man at the counter said, “What a Pollack.” The Polish man said,... ...
10. Перевод слова package Package – пакет, упаковочная тара Перевод слова Attractive package – привлекательная упаковка cardboard package – картонная упаковка package deal – комплексная сделка She mailed the Package to me. Она послала... ...
11. A Jewish boy was walking with his girlfriend A Jewish boy was walking with his girlfriend on the grounds of his father’s house. His father was a successful doctor, and was carrying out a circumcision in the on-site... ...
12. Значение идиомы wrapped up in [wrapped up in] {adj. phr.} Thinking only of; interested only in. John has no time for sports because he is all wrapped up in hiswork. Mary was so wrapped up... ...
13. Help the lonely child Sandy began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of... ...
14. Перевод слова cloth Cloth – ткань, тряпка Перевод слова Printed cotton cloth – набивная хлопчатобумажная ткань damp cloth – влажная тряпка edge of cloth – кромка ткани The Cloth feels silky. Ткань на... ...
15. Two newlyweds are riding in the back of a limo Two newlyweds are riding in the back of a limo on the way to their honeymoon boat cruise. The husband says, “Honey, I want to stop and pick up some... ...
16. A Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg A Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg who many years ago was stranded late one night at a fashionable resort – one that did not admit Jews. The desk clerk looked... ...
17. Going to the Post Office For me, things never Go very Smoothly at my local post office. I’ve learned that if you want To mail a letter, you’ll have no problems. But if things get... ...
18. A technical bastard A couple arrived at town hall seconds before closing time, and caught a judge just as he was about to leave, and asked him to marry them. He asked if... ...
19. Barry took a girl out on her first date Barry took a girl out on her first date. When they pulled off into a secluded area around midnight, the girl said, “My mother told me to say no to... ...
20. A Trip to the Jewelry Store My wife’s birthday was Coming up And I wanted to get her a special Present. She always tells me to not to Splurge on gifts for her but For once,... ...
21. A Trip to the Jewelry Store My wife’s birthday was Coming up And I wanted to get her a special Present. She always tells me to not to Splurge on gifts for her but For once,... ...
22. A construction worker was whistling A construction worker was whistling and verbally harassing a young girl as she walked by the construction site. She completely ignored him, and just kept on walking. Annoyed the worker... ...
23. Grandma Saperstein and Grandpa Rabinowitz are sitting Grandma Saperstein and Grandpa Rabinowitz are sitting on the veranda of the old folks home rocking back and forth in their rocking chairs. Grandpa Rabinowitz rocks forward in his chair... ...
24. The Gift After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly clerks, and insane regulations at the department of motor vehicles, I stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift... ...
25. A little girl was walking along a beach in California A little girl was walking along a beach in California when she came across a man with no clothes on and just a newspaper covering his genitals. The little girl... ...
26. Asking for Recommendations Hotel Clerk: Can I help you with something? Victor: Yes, I was hoping you could recommend a restaurant nearby. Clerk: What kind of food would you like? Victor: I’m not... ...
27. A man walked into a gift shop that sold religious items A man walked into a gift shop that sold religious items. Near the cash register he saw a display of caps with “WWJD” printed on all of them. He was... ...
28. One fall day Dave was out raking leaves when he noticed One fall day Dave was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was followed by a man... ...
29. Drawing God A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She walked around to look at the artwork. As she got to one little girl who was... ...
30. What God looks like A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work. As she got to one little girl... ...
31. A dog walks into a butcher shop A dog walks into a butcher shop with a purse strapped around his neck. He walks up to the meat case and calmly sits there until it’s his turn to... ...
32. A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. “Mommy,” she said. “Can we leave now?” “No,” her mother replied. “Well, I... ...
33. Little Johnny was late for school Little Johnny was late for school. When he finally got there his teacher asked, “Why are you late little Johnny?” Johnny replied, “My grandpa got burnt, Miss.” The teacher replied,... ...
34. A fellow picked up a girl in a bar and took her home with him A fellow picked up a girl in a bar and took her home with him. After some preliminary drinks and talk, they got undressed, climbed into bed and generally got... ...
35. The newly divorced woman The newly divorced woman had never had to be the handyman around the house before, and quickly discovered she was lacking most of the proper tools to do the odd... ...
36. Little Mermaid Three fellows walking along the beach noticed a mermaid sitting on a rock swishing her tail in the foam. The first man waded out to her and said, Hello mermaid!... ...
37. A peculiar birthday card This blonde goes into the drugstore looking for a birthday card. She asks the clerk if they have any new and different cards – something unusual. The clerk points her... ...
38. Reaching the end of a job interview Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a young engineer fresh out of MIT, “And what starting salary were you looking for?” The engineer said,... ...
39. A girl from Texas and a girl from New York were seated A girl from Texas and a girl from New York were seated side by side on an airplane. The girl from Texas, being friendly and all, said: “So, where y’all... ...
40. A man is giving evidence in court and the defendant’s A man is giving evidence in court and the defendant’s barrister asks him “How far from the accident were you when it happened?” He replied “36 feet, 2 and a... ...