Little Lucy was playing in the garden when she

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1. Little Johnny sat playing in the gardenLittle Johnny sat playing in the garden. When his mother came out to collect him, she saw that he was slowly eating a worm. She turned pale. «No, Johnny! Stop! That’s horrible! You can’t eat worms!» Trying to convince him further, «Now the mother worm is looking all over for her nice baby-worm.» «No, she ... Читать далее...
2. After the fall in Garden of EdenAfter the fall in Garden of Eden, Adam was walking with his sons Cain and Abel. They passed by the ruins of the Garden of Eden. One of the boys asked, «What’s that?» Adam replied, «Boys, that’s where your mother ate us out of house and home.»...
3. Перевод слова gardenGarden — сад Перевод слова At the bottom of his garden — в конце сада the boweriest part of the garden — самая тенистая часть сада to maintain a garden — ухаживать за садом vegetable garden — огород My hobby is Gardening. Мое хобби — садоводство. The Garden enchanted her. Сад очаровал ее. The Garden ... Читать далее...
4. Anybody Home?A boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee’s home phone number and was greeted with a child’s whispered, «Hello?» Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to the youngster, the boss asked, «Is ... Читать далее...
5. Working in the gardenA prisioner in jail received a letter from his wife: «I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?» The prisioner, knowing that the prison guards read all the mail, replied in a letter: «Dear Wife, whatever you do, DO NOT touch the back garden! ... Читать далее...
6. Guns in a gardenAn aging man lived alone in Ireland. His only son was in Long Kesh Prison and he didn’t know anyone who would spade up his potato garden. The old man wrote to his son about it and received this reply. «For Heavens SAKES, don’t dig up that garden, that’s where I buried the GUNS!!! At ... Читать далее...
7. A little girl was playing up a tree near a churchA little girl was playing up a tree near a church. The priest was taking a walk when he happened to look up the tree and saw the little girl. She had no panties on. He called her down and gave her money to buy a pair of panties. The girl was so happy and ... Читать далее...
8. A little girl goes into the toilet and sees her dad having a showerA little girl goes into the toilet and sees her dad having a shower. It’s at that moment she spots his penis. Pointing at it she says….. «Daddy, daddy, when will I get one of those?» The dad looks at the little girl, looks out the door, looks back at the little girl and winks…. ... Читать далее...
9. A little nine year old girl was in church with her motherA little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. «Mommy,» she said. «Can we leave now?» «No,» her mother replied. «Well, I think I have to throw up!» «Then go out the front door and to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush.» ... Читать далее...
10. PUPPY LOVEA man and his son were walking through a field, and saw two dogs mating. The little boy asked his Dad what was happening. The Father replied, «Well, son, they’re making a puppy.» The following evening, the little boy was thirsty, so he went from his bed to get a glass of water. Not being ... Читать далее...
11. A man was playing a game of golfA man was playing a game of golf, and on hole 16, he hit the ball right into a field of buttercups. As honest a golfer as he normally was, he picked up the ball and laid it next to the flowerbed to avoid destroying the beautiful buttercups. A fairy comes down and says «thank ... Читать далее...
12. Playing tablaOnce a couple were on vacation. The husband was lying on the beach facing downwards on his stomach & the wife was patting him on his butt. He happened to ask her what she was doing, she said «I’m playing the Tabla» He turned around & told her «Alright now you can start playing the ... Читать далее...
13. One day in the Garden of EdenOne day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, «Lord, I have a problem!» «What’s the problem, Eve?» «Lord, I know you’ve created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedy snake, but I’m just not happy.» «Why is that, Eve?» came the ... Читать далее...
14. Better than playing doctorLittle Johnny was sitting on the bench in the park. Suzie comes along chomping on her bubblegum. Suzie asked, «You wanna play doctor?» Johnny replied, «NO, that too old fashioned. Spit out you gum, I wanna play president.»...
15. Перевод слова spiderSpider — паук Перевод слова Cancroid spider — ракообразный паук poisonous spider — ядовитый паук spider web — паучья сеть The Spider must wait for prey to be ensnared on its web. Паук должен ждать, пока жертва не запутается в его паутине. The Spider ejaculates several threads. Паук выпускает несколько нитей. Nothing is more fragile ... Читать далее...
16. Diversity at WorkJeff: What were you and Richard talking about earlier? It looked Intense. Lucy: Yeah, Richard said something to me that I Didn’t Appreciate. Jeff: Oh, no. I know how Insensitive he can be. What has he done now? Lucy: He asked me how long it took me to learn English. Jeff: But, you were born ... Читать далее...
17. Last minute requestsA man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked, «Give it to me straight. How long have I got?» The physician replied that he doubted that the man would survive the night. The man then said, «Call for my lawyer.» When the lawyer arrived, the man asked for his ... Читать далее...
18. Charlie was playing with his little brother MickeyCharlie was playing with his little brother Mickey when the little boy asked whether he could fly like Superman. «Sure you can, Mickey,» Charlie said, «Just flap your arms really *really* hard.» So Mickey climbed up on the windowsill, started flapping like mad, jumped, then smashed into the ground six stories below. Horrified, their mother ... Читать далее...
19. The golf courseA man playing on a new golf course got confused as to what hole he was on. He saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her and asked if she knew what hole he was playing. She replied, «I’m on the 7th hole, and you’re a hole behind me, so you ... Читать далее...
20. Six guys were playing poker when Smith losesSix guys were playing poker when Smith loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five complete their playing time standing up. Roberts looks around and asks, «Now, who is going to tell the wife?» They draw straws. Rippington, who ... Читать далее...
21. Playing Video GamesAchim: Check out this new game I just got! Marcia: Let me see. Oh, it’s a Fighting game. I’m not into those. I like Role-playing or Simulation games a lot better. Achim: This isn’t just a fighting game. You have to use Strategy for each Mission. Check out these amazing Graphics! Marcia: I can’t play ... Читать далее...
22. Taking CreditJeff: You’re not going to believe what happened? Lucy: Oh, is the big meeting over? What happened? Jeff: Dan tried To take credit for Our idea for the new Campaign. Lucy: You’re kidding me! I thought he might try To pull something Like this, but I didn’t think he’d Have the nerve To do that. ... Читать далее...
23. Перевод идиомы lead someone down / up the garden path, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: lead someone down / up the garden path Перевод: обманывать кого-либо, вводить кого-либо в заблуждение, водить кого-либо за нос Пример: The young woman was leading her boyfriend down the garden path when she promised to marry him. Молодая женщина водила за нос своего парня, когда пообещала ему выйти за него замуж....
24. Playing with your mindThis is so cool. Read this sentence: FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE — SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIF — IC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS. Now count ALOUD the F’s in that sentence. Count them ONLY ONCE: do not go back and count them again. See below… ANSWER: There are six F’s in ... Читать далее...
25. Pecuniary reasonsA few moments after the daughter announced her engagement, her Father asked, «Does this fellow have any money?» The daughter shook her head sadly. «Oh Daddy! You men are all alike.» sighing deeply, she replied, «That’s exactly what he asked me about you.»...
26. One summer evening during a violent thunderstormOne summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, «Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?» The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. «I can’t dear,» she said. «I ... Читать далее...
27. An extremely loyal fanThere was a Packers fan with a really crappy seat at Lambeau. Looking with his binoculars, he spotted an empty seat on the 50-yard line. Thinking to himself «what a waste» he made his way down to the empty seat. When he arrived at the seat, he asked the man sitting next to it, «Is ... Читать далее...
28. Reaching a MilestoneJeff: Well, we’ve reached a Milestone. Lucy: Yup, it’s been a Long haul, but we’ve finally Made it. Did you ever think we’d get here? Jeff: I admit I had my doubts. At the beginning, I was really Dubious that this Venture would Pan out. I thought that our Prospects were Iffy, At best. Lucy: ... Читать далее...
29. England JokesQ: What’s the difference between England and a tea bag? A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer. — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — ... Читать далее...
30. A little periodThe kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, knowing that he ... Читать далее...
31. Having a Best FriendLucy: I’m so excited! My friend, Marlene, is coming to town for a visit. Buddy: Have I met Marlene? Lucy: No, I don’t think so. We Grew up together and we were always Joined at the hip. Buddy: When I was little, I had a friend like that. We were Blood brothers. Lucy: Yeah, Marlene ... Читать далее...
32. Another ethnic jokeA man of Polish ancestry walked up to the counter and asked for a Polish Meatball Sandwich. The man at the counter said, «What a Pollack.» The Polish man said, «I resent that. If a Jew came to your counter and asked for a kosher salami on rye, would you call him a stupid Jew.» ... Читать далее...
33. A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aidA woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The office worker asked her, «How many children do you have?» «Ten,» she replied. «What are their names?» he asked. «LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, and LeRoy,» she answered. «They’re all named LeRoy?» he asked «What if you want them ... Читать далее...
34. Asking for and Giving InstructionsThe supervisor at my work asked me the other day to Help out one of the new employees. She needs some basic Orientation on how to Login to our network. So I made an appointment with her to come to my Cubicle for a little training session. Jeff: Hi, Lucy, how are you Settling in? ... Читать далее...
35. A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadowA horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found. So he drives the farmer’s ... Читать далее...
36. Little MermaidThree fellows walking along the beach noticed a mermaid sitting on a rock swishing her tail in the foam. The first man waded out to her and said, Hello mermaid! Have you ever been kissed?» She replied, «no sir!» So he kissed her quite thoroughly and asked, «Did you like that?» «Oh, indeed I did, ... Читать далее...
37. A veterinarian surgeonA veterinarian surgeon had had a hell of a day, but when he got home from tending to all the sick animals his wife was waiting with a long cool drink and a romantic candle-lit dinner, after which they had a few more drinks and went happily to bed. At about 2:00 in the morning, ... Читать далее...
38. Bargaining with a SellerIt was Saturday afternoon and I was shopping in the Garment district in downtown L. A. If you want to find good Deals on clothes, shoes, and Accessories, this is the place to come. To get the best deal, though, you have to be ready to bargain. I walked by a Stall and saw a ... Читать далее...
39. Bargaining with a SellerIt was Saturday afternoon and I was shopping in the Garment district in downtown L. A. If you want to find good Deals on clothes, shoes, and Accessories, this is the place to come. To get the best deal, though, you have to be ready to bargain. I walked by a Stall and saw a ... Читать далее...
40. Problems at the OfficeLucy: Hey Jeff, can I Pick your brain for a minute? Jeff: Sure, what’s up? Lucy: Well, I have a Sticky situation at work and I wanted to get your Input. You’re always so Tactful. Jeff: Thanks. I’m not sure I can help but I’ll give you my two cents. Lucy: Well, it’s like this. ... Читать далее...