Jones is checking out of a hotel when suddenly he has to

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1. Checking into a Hotel I Flew into Atlanta the afternoon before a Big meeting. I Hailed a taxi at the airport and told the driver the name of the hotel. I asked him How long it would take to get there. He said it would only be 20 minutes. I sat back and relaxed. We got to the hotel […]...
2. Jones is driving past the state mental hospital Jones is driving past the state mental hospital when his left rear tire suffers a flat. While Jones is changing the tire, another car goes by, running over the hub cap in which Jones was keeping the lug nuts. the nuts are all knocked into a nearby storm drain. Jones is at a loss for […]...
3. The hotel Astor had hired a new bus driver The hotel Astor had hired a new bus driver and instructed him to meet all incoming trains and announce at the depot in a very loud voice, “Free bus to the hotel Astor!” On the way to the station on his first trip her kept repeating to himself, “Free bus to the hotel Astor, Free […]...
4. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “Регистрация в отеле, заселение в отель” (Checking in at a hotel) – Welcome to the Sunny Hotel. How can I help you? – Good morning! We’d like to check in. Our names are Sam and Rita Gordon. We have a reservation for a double room at your hotel. – OK. Let me check the record of your booking… Yes. We have a double room for you […]...
5. Перевод слова hotel Hotel – гостиница, отель Перевод слова Hotel room – комната в гостинице hotel service – гостиничное обслуживание full hotel service – с полным обслуживанием (уборкой, бельем и т. п.) hotel bill – счет за проживание в гостинице We registered at a Hotel. Мы зарегистрировались в гостинице. Turn left after the Hotel. После отеля поверните налево. […]...
6. A Mistake in the Hotel Bill Hotel clerk: Here’s the Bill for your four-night stay. Would you like the Incidentals charged to your credit card? May: Incidentals? I think there’s some mistake. I didn’t order any Pay-per-view movies and I never ordered room service. And, I didn’t have any Spa services, either. Hotel clerk: Are you sure? We show three movies […]...
7. Mr. Jones had hired a new secretary Mr. Jones had hired a new secretary. She was young, sweet and very polite. While taking dictation one morning, she noticed that his fly was open. Upon leaving the room she said, “Mr. Jones, your barracks door is open.” He was puzzled by her remark, but later that day he noticed that his zipper was […]...
8. Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him. “What’s the story this time, Jones?” he asked sarcastically. “Let’s hear a good excuse for a change.” Jones sighed, “Everything went wrong this morning, Boss. The wife decided to drive me to the […]...
9. Forty years later, they’re in the same hotel room Forty years later, they’re in the same hotel room they spent their honeymoon in. She takes off her clothes, lies down on the bed, spreads her legs… Her husband looks at her and he begins to weep uncontrollably. She says, “What’s the matter?” He says, “Forty years ago, I couldn’t wait to eat it, and […]...
10. Hotel Housekeeping I’m so glad that the hotel I Booked didn’t Turn out To be a Dump. The last time I went on vacation, I booked it online Sight unseen, and it turned out to be a Run down hotel. This hotel was completely different. The Decor was tasteful and updated, the Staff was friendly, and the […]...
11. A man finds himself staying in a Vegas hotel room A man finds himself staying in a Vegas hotel room while on a business trip. Not wishing to be alone, he calls an “escort” service for some company. Soon, a strikingly beautiful hooker arrives. Without preamble the hooker says, “I want to tell you right up front, my minimum fee is $500, and that’s for […]...
12. A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one Friday evening and read’s: Dear Wife (that’s what he called her) I am 54 and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy 18 year old secretary. When he arrived at the […]...
13. Next time you think your hotel bill is too high you might want to consider this Husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston After almost twenty-four hours on the road, They’re too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back […]...
14. Writing a Postcard I was on vacation in Yosemite and I decided to send a Postcard to my friend, Elaine, who was on her own vacation in Europe. … Dear Elaine, I Arrived safely two days ago and I’m Having the time of my life. I met some nice people here and we’ve been Keeping each other company. […]...
15. The Time Nikola Tesla Paid for His Hotel Room With a “Death Ray” Nikola Tesla was, of course, a vastly accomplished scientist and inventor. His inventions include the Tesla coil and electric oscillators, and he also developed technologies that were eventually found in X-rays, the radio, and remote controls. One thing he didn’t invent: A death ray. But try telling that to the Governor Clinton Hotel. Tesla had […]...
16. An Avon lady was along in an elevator when she suddenly An Avon lady was along in an elevator when she suddenly had to fart. She promptly reached into her bag and sprayed the air with her deodorizer. Two floors later a gentleman got onto the elevator. He began to sniff. The Avon lady asked, “Do you smell something?” “Why, yes, I do,” he replied. “What […]...
17. Mrs. Jones is having her house painted Mrs. Jones is having her house painted, and her husband comes home from work and leans against the freshly painted wall. The next day, she says to the painter, “You wanna see where my husband put his hand last night?” He sighs and says, “Look, lady, I got a tough day’s work ahead of me. […]...
18. Перевод слова postcard Postcard – открытка Перевод слова Postcard land – живописная страна postcard beauty – красотка с открытки on receipt of a postcard – по получении открытки He said, “Kaye, what’s on the front of the Postcard?” Он сказал: “Что изображено на открытке, Кей?” Please write down your name and address on a Postcard. Напишите, пожалуйста, свое […]...
19. Hotel Reservations I just finished a huge project at work and I needed some Down time. I decided to take a short vacation. I liked the idea of a long weekend out of town. My friend Sara offered to let me Crash at her place in San Francisco, but I decided to stay at a hotel instead. […]...
20. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “В гостинице” (At a Hotel) At a Hotel George: Good morning! Clerk: Good morning! What can I do for you? George: We need a double room and a single room for two nights. Clerk: Just a moment, please. Well, we have a double room with bath and a single room with shower. George: How much are these rooms? Clerk: The […]...
21. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “Выселение из отеля” (Checking out) – Good morning! – Good morning, Mr. Silver. Is everything OK? – The point is that I have to fly to Portugal today. So I would like to check out and pay my bill, please. – Oh, yes. Certainly, sir. Your room is number 215, isn’t it? – That’s right. – How was your stay? […]...
22. Making Changes to a Hotel Reservation Reservation agent: Hello, Milton Hotel Reservations. How may I assist you? Sally: Hi, I’m calling to make some changes to an Existing reservation. Reservation agent: Certainly. Do you have the Reservation number? Sally: Sure, it’s 234678. Reservation agent: That’s a reservation for Sally Menkel. Is that right? Sally: Yes, that’s right. I’d like to change […]...
23. At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens. “It opens at noon,” answers the clerk. About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even= drunker. “What time does the bar open?” he asks. “Same time as […]...
24. Перевод слова plant Plant – растение; сажать, сеять Перевод слова Garden plants – садовые растения wild plant – дикорастущее растение to plant a tree – посадить дерево to plant a garden – разбивать сад A field is Planted with corn. Поле засеянно кукурузой. The Plant has furry leaves. У этого растения пушистые листья. The Plant needs a firm […]...
25. Berkowitz is having a drink at his hotel Berkowitz is having a drink at his hotel when he spots a beautiful young woman at the other end of the bar. “Bartender,” he says, “give that lady whatever she likes, and put it on my tab.” When the drink is delivered, the woman gives Berkowitz a warm smile. A moment later he’s at her […]...
26. Working in the garden A prisioner in jail received a letter from his wife: “I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?” The prisioner, knowing that the prison guards read all the mail, replied in a letter: “Dear Wife, whatever you do, DO NOT touch the back garden! […]...
27. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “Резервирование номера в отеле” (Booking a Room in a Hotel) – Good afternoon. Queen’s Hotel. – Hi. This is Joanna Stewart from Madrid calling. I would like to arrange accommodation for our company’s visiting professors. And I am going to learn a bit about the facilities that your hotel offers. – I see, Miss Stewart. Well, Queen’s Hotel is a 4-star hotel and we are […]...
28. My heart set A certain old gentleman thought his eyesight was going bad, and he was advised to go to see an eye doctor. He goes in to see the doctor, and the doctor said, “All right, let’s check you out. You sit down here on this stool. You put your right hand over your right eye and […]...
29. After spending a night at a hotel with a prostitute After spending a night at a hotel with a prostitute, the politician took $300 out of his wallet and placed it on the dressing table. “Thanks,” she said. “But I only charge $20.” “Twenty bucks for the entire night?” the amazed MP replied. “You can’t make a living on that.” “Oh, don’t worry,” the whore […]...
30. It’s dark in here A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman’s husband also comes home. She puts her Lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there […]...
31. A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?”, they asked, as they moved off. “Because,” he said, “I can’t stand chess nuts boasting in […]...
32. Perfect customer A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation. He wrote, “I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with […]...
33. A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, “When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?” The husband replied, “All I wanted to do […]...
34. A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. “I’m sorry sir, but I am blind, and can’t read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer, I’ll smell it and order […]...
35. Two dwarfs pick up two hookers and take them to their hotel rooms Two dwarfs pick up two hookers and take them to their hotel rooms. The first dwarf not only can’t get a hard-on, but all night he has to listen to the other dwarf and the other hooker grunting “One, two three, uhh…one, two three, uhh…” In the morning, the second dwarf says to the first […]...
36. The 21st Century Indiana Jones is a Woman Crowdsourcing Space Archaeology Egyptian Pyramids captured by DubaiSat-1 of EIAST, Dubai. Sarah Parcak’s innovative work in space archaeology has earned her the nickname “the Indiana Jones of the 21st century.” When she appeared-wearing Indian Jones’ iconic hat-on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert in January, the host referred to her as a “space archaeologist wizard genius.” In November […]...
37. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “Жалоба в отеле (Complaining At The Hotel)” По-английски Перевод на русский Receptionist: Good afternoon, sir. How may I help you? Портье: Добрый день, сэр. Чем могу вам помочь? Customer: Good afternoon. I’d like to make a complaint. Клиент: Добрый день. Я хотел бы подать жалобу. Receptionist: What’s the problem, sir? Портье: В чем проблема, сэр? Customer: My room number is 205. I […]...
38. Put it to a good use The doctor comes out of the delivery room and says to the father, “I’m sorry to have to tell you this, Mr. Jones, but apparently your child was born with no arms, only one leg, and teeth that project six inches out of its mouth.” Mr. Jones cries, “My God! What will we do with […]...
39. Tea Tea plant The tea plant grows best in tropical and temperate places where rain falls throughout the year. Tea can be grown from sea level to about 2,000 metres, but the best quality grows in higher regions. Tea comes from the leaves and buds of tea plants. Wild plants can be up to 9 metres […]...
40. Diary Entries AUG. 12 Moved to our new home in Ohio. It is so beautiful here. The hills are so majestic. I can hardly wait to see them with snow covering them. I love it here. OCT. 14 Ohio is the most beautiful place on Earth. The leaves are turned all the colors and shades of red […]...