Dog washing
A young boy, about eight years old, walks into the local grocery store and picks our a huge box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over, and trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do. “Nope, no laundry,” the boy said, “I’m going to wash my dog!” “But you shouldn’t use this to wash your dog. It’s very powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he’ll get sick. In fact, it might even kill him.” But the boy was not to be stopped and carried the detergent to the counter and paid for it, even as the grocer still tried to talk him out of washing his dog.
About a week later the boy was back in the store to buy some candy. The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing. “Oh, he died,” the boy said sadly. The grocer, trying not to be an I-told-you-so, said he was sorry the dog died but added, “I tried to tell you not to use that detergent on your dog!” “Well,” the boy replied, “I don’t think it was the detergent that killed him.” “Oh? What was it then?” “I think it was the spin cycle!”
(1 оценок, среднее: 5.00 из 5)Related topics:
- A young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner A young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner “Mom & Pop” grocery picking out a pretty good size box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over, and, trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do. “Oh, no laundry,” the boy said, “I’m going to […]...
- Washing Clothes Mina: What happened here? Is the Washing machine not working? Arlo: What do you mean? Mina: Why are all of your white T-shirts now pink? Arlo: That just happens. Sometimes they turn pink, gray, or another color, depending on which clothes I put in a Load. Mina: Didn’t anyone teach you how to do Laundry? […]...
- Washing the Car I was driving down the road when I saw a group of teenagers Holding up signs for a Fundraising car wash for their school. My car was very dirty, so I pulled over and paid for a car wash and a Wax. I think that the students had more Enthusiasm than car washing skills. Yes, […]...
- Перевод идиомы wash one’s dirty laundry in public / wash one’s dirty linen in public, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: wash one’s dirty laundry in public / wash one’s dirty linen in public Идиома: wash one’s dirty laundry in public / wash one’s dirty linen in public Перевод: выносить на достояние общественности что-либо неприятное, что должно держаться в тайне Пример: The man began to wash his best friend’s dirty linen in public after he […]...
- Перевод слова sadly Sadly – грустно, печально, прискорбно; больной Перевод слова To smile sadly – грустно улыбаться you are sadly mistaken – вы жестоко ошибаетесь he feels sadly – он плохо себя чувствует Sadly, my optimism proved unfounded. К сожалению, мой оптимизм оказался напрасными. The house is Sadly in want of repair. Этот дом, к сожалению, нуждается в […]...
- Перевод слова laundry Laundry – прачечная, белье для/из стирки Перевод слова Laundry soap – хозяйственное мыло laundry soda – стиральная сода to send linen to the laundry – отдать белье в прачечную to iron the laundry – гладить, утюжить белье I sorted the Laundry. Я рассортировал белье для стирки. His mother was hanging wet Laundry to dry. Его […]...
- New scientific theories I New scientific theories 4th RunnerUp– The earth may spin faster on its axis due to deforestation. Just as a figure skater’s rate of spin increases when the arms are brought in close to the body, the cutting of tall trees may cause our planet to spin dangerously fast....
- Перевод слова spin Spin – плести, прясть; кружение, вращение Перевод слова A spin of a top – вращение волчка to give a coin a spin – крутануть монету to spin fibers – прясть волокно wool spun by hand – шерсть ручного прядения My head is Spinning. У меня кружится голова. He Spun round at the sound of his […]...
- Перевод слова wash Wash – мыть, умываться, стирать; мытье, стирка Перевод слова To give a wash – вымыть, помыть to send to the wash – отдать в стирку to wash the shores – омывать берега You Wash and I’ll dry. Ты моешь посуду, а я буду вытирать. Warranted to Wash. При стирке не линяет. His hair needs a […]...
- Pecuniary reasons A few moments after the daughter announced her engagement, her Father asked, “Does this fellow have any money?” The daughter shook her head sadly. “Oh Daddy! You men are all alike.” sighing deeply, she replied, “That’s exactly what he asked me about you.”...
- Showering: Men v. Women How To Shower Like a Woman Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror – make mental note to do more […]...
- Slight confusion One night a police officer named Mike was working the grave-yard shift and he drove to his house around 3 A. M. in the morning. He opened the door to the bedroom quietly and took off his clothes in the dark, and got in bed with his wife. Then she said,”Honey, can you go over […]...
- Describing Pleasant Scents Kitty: Oh, Smell that. Isn’t that Delectable? Pepe: Yes, it’s Pleasant. Kitty: Pleasant? It’s Heavenly. It has a nice Fruity scent, not too sweet. Pepe: If you say so. I don’t want to buy anything that has a strong Perfume smell. I’m a guy. Kitty: I know, but you want To exude a Sexy scent […]...
- Describing Pleasant Scents Kitty: Oh, Smell that. Isn’t that Delectable? Pepe: Yes, it’s Pleasant. Kitty: Pleasant? It’s Heavenly. It has a nice Fruity scent, not too sweet. Pepe: If you say so. I don’t want to buy anything that has a strong Perfume smell. I’m a guy. Kitty: I know, but you want To exude a Sexy scent […]...
- The first time I went to a drug store to buy condoms The first time I went to a drug store to buy condoms, I was waited on by a beautiful young woman. She asked what size I wanted and I said I wasn’t sure. So she asked now big I was and I said, “Compared to what?” She held up one finger and asked if I […]...
- Значение идиомы spin a yarn [spin a yarn] {v. phr.} To tell a story of adventure with someexaggeration mixed in; embellish and protract such a tale. UncleFred, who used be a sailor, knows how to spin a fascinating yarn, butdon’t always believe everything he says....
- Значение идиомы make one’s head spin [make one’s head spin] {v. phr.} To be bewildered; be confused. It makes my head spin to think about the amount of work I still haveto do....
- Значение идиомы talk into [talk into] {v.} 1. To get to agree to; make decide on by talking; persuade to. – Used with averbal noun. Bob talked us into walking home with him. Compare:TALK OVER. Contrast TALK OUT OF. 2. To cause to be in or to getinto by talking. You talked us into this mess. Now get us […]...
- Anybody Home? A boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee’s home phone number and was greeted with a child’s whispered, “Hello?” Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to the youngster, the boss asked, “Is […]...
- A lady was in a hardware store looking at A lady was in a hardware store looking at a fishing poles. She asked the store manager how much it was he said ‘I am blind drop it on the ground and i’ll tell ya. She dropped it on the ground.’Aahh that’s 10.00.’ She bent down and let a big fart that everyone heard. But, […]...
- A woman strode angrily into the large A woman strode angrily into the large drug-store-cum-general-store, slapped a package on the counter, and loudly expressed her dissatisfaction. The clerk asked, “What’s the problem? Wouldn’t your cat eat them?” The woman’s eyes got very large, and she whispered, “Do you mean to tell me that Pussy Treats are meant for ‘cats’?”...
- One fall day Dave was out raking leaves when he noticed One fall day Dave was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking in single file. Intrigued, Dave went up to the man following the […]...
- Jokes about the Fighting Irish Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend Finney. “Did you see the paper?” asked Gallagher. “They say I died!!” “Yes, I saw it!” replied Finney. “Where are you callin’ from?” It was general question time on the “Top […]...
- A bar name A guy walks into a store and says to the managaer “why doesn’t your store have a name”, the store manager says “I haven’t thought of one yet but I think u can help me, what’s your girlfriend’s name.” The guy says “Jenny” then the store owner says “What’s do you like most about Jenny” […]...
- A dog’s Chalkboard Assignments This list of chalkboard assignments may be used for your dog when he does not behave well. The below variations and choices will help you pick an assignment. A. Fill in the blanks 1. [xxx] is not food. Spiders; bandaids; ivy and airplane plants; Xmas ornaments; the carved jack-o-lantern; plants from the aquarium; cat litter […]...
- An elderly patient needed a heart transplant An elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his options with his doctor. The doctor said, “We have 3 possible donors; the 1st is a young, healthy athlete who died in an automobile accident, the 2nd is a middle-aged businessman who never drank or smoked and who died flying his private jet. The 3rd […]...
- Why lawyers should never ask a witness a question Why lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer: In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand – a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, “Mrs.. Jones, do you know me?” She responded, “Why, yes I do know […]...
- Значение идиомы in store [in store] {adj.} or {adv. phr.} 1. Saved up in case of need; readyfor use or for some purpose. If the electricity goes off, we havecandles in store in the closet. The squirrel has plenty of nuts instore for the winter. Compare: IN RESERVE, IN STOCK, ON HAND. 2.Ready to happen; waiting. – Often used […]...
- Значение идиомы close up shop [close up shop] {v. phr.} 1. To shut a store at the end of a day’s business, also, to end a business. The grocer closes up shop at 5 o’clock. After 15 years in business at the same spot, the garage closed up shop. 2. {informal} To stop some activity; finish what you are doing. […]...
- Значение идиомы talk up [talk up] {v.} 1. To speak in favor or support of. Let’s talk upthe game and get a big crowd. 2. To speak plainly or clearly. Theteacher asked the student to talk up. Syn.: SPEAK UP. 3. {informal}To say what you want or think; say what someone may not like. Talkup if you want more […]...
- Two blondes are passing by a fruit shop when Two blondes are passing by a fruit shop when the grocer calls to them, “Bananas! 50 cents each or three for a dollar!” The girls stop and look at each other. “Well I suppose we could always eat the third one!”...
- Значение идиомы air one’s dirty linen in public [air one’s dirty linen in public] or [wash one’s dirty linen in public] {v. phr.} To talk about your private quarrels or disgraces where others can hear; make public something embarrassing that should be kept secret. Everyone in the school knew that the superintendent and the principal were angry with each other because they aired […]...
- Main Vice President Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn’t take it any longer, and told him, “Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of peas at the grocery store!”. “Really?” […]...
- Перевод идиомы air one’s dirty laundry in public / air one’s dirty linen in public, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: air one’s dirty laundry in public / air one’s dirty linen in public Идиома: air one’s dirty laundry in public / air one’s dirty linen in public Перевод: выносить на достояние общественности что-либо неприятное, что должно держаться в тайне Пример: The dinner party became uncomfortable when the host began to air his colleague’s dirty […]...
- Значение идиомы wash and wear [wash and wear] {adj.} Not needing to be ironed. – Refersespecially to synthetic and synthetic blend fabrics. Dick boughtthree wash and wear shirts to take on his trip. Sally’s dress ismade of a wash and wear fabric....
- A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table. As he sat down, he knocked the spoon off the table with his elbow. A nearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a clean spoon, and set it on the table. The diner was impressed, and asked, “Do all the waiters […]...
- Last minute requests A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked, “Give it to me straight. How long have I got?” The physician replied that he doubted that the man would survive the night. The man then said, “Call for my lawyer.” When the lawyer arrived, the man asked for his […]...
- I’ll use my Seeing Eye Dog A blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store. The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head. The store manager, who has seen all this, thinks this is quite […]...
- Another ethnic joke A man of Polish ancestry walked up to the counter and asked for a Polish Meatball Sandwich. The man at the counter said, “What a Pollack.” The Polish man said, “I resent that. If a Jew came to your counter and asked for a kosher salami on rye, would you call him a stupid Jew.” […]...
- A drummer, tired of being ridiculed by his peers A drummer, tired of being ridiculed by his peers, decides to learn how to play some “real” musical instruments. He goes to a music store, walks in, approaches the store clerk, and says “I’ll take that red trumpet over there and that accordion.” The store clerk looks at him a bit funny, and replies “OK, […]...