Dog washing

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1. A young boy, about eight years old, was at the cornerA young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner «Mom & Pop» grocery picking out a pretty good size box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over, and, trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do. «Oh, no laundry,» the boy said, «I’m going to ... Читать далее...
2. Washing ClothesMina: What happened here? Is the Washing machine not working? Arlo: What do you mean? Mina: Why are all of your white T-shirts now pink? Arlo: That just happens. Sometimes they turn pink, gray, or another color, depending on which clothes I put in a Load. Mina: Didn’t anyone teach you how to do Laundry? ... Читать далее...
3. Washing the CarI was driving down the road when I saw a group of teenagers Holding up signs for a Fundraising car wash for their school. My car was very dirty, so I pulled over and paid for a car wash and a Wax. I think that the students had more Enthusiasm than car washing skills. Yes, ... Читать далее...
4. Перевод идиомы wash one’s dirty laundry in public / wash one’s dirty linen in public, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: wash one’s dirty laundry in public / wash one’s dirty linen in public Идиома: wash one’s dirty laundry in public / wash one’s dirty linen in public Перевод: выносить на достояние общественности что-либо неприятное, что должно держаться в тайне Пример: The man began to wash his best friend’s dirty linen in public after he ... Читать далее...
5. I’ll use my Seeing Eye DogA blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store. The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head. The store manager, who has seen all this, thinks this is quite ... Читать далее...
6. Перевод слова laundryLaundry — прачечная, белье для/из стирки Перевод слова Laundry soap — хозяйственное мыло laundry soda — стиральная сода to send linen to the laundry — отдать белье в прачечную to iron the laundry — гладить, утюжить белье I sorted the Laundry. Я рассортировал белье для стирки. His mother was hanging wet Laundry to dry. Его ... Читать далее...
7. A policeman was patrolling near midnightA policeman was patrolling near midnight at a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. Inside there was a young man in the driver’s seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat calmly knitting. He ... Читать далее...
8. This guy is walking through Chinatown and sees a buildingThis guy is walking through Chinatown and sees a building with a sign «Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry.» «Hans Olaffsen?», he thinks. «How in the world does that fit in here?» So, he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman sitting in the corner. The visitor asks, «How in the world did this place ... Читать далее...
9. An elderly patient needed a heart transplantAn elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his options with his doctor. The doctor said, «We have 3 possible donors; the 1st is a young, healthy athlete who died in an automobile accident, the 2nd is a middle-aged businessman who never drank or smoked and who died flying his private jet. The 3rd ... Читать далее...
10. The first time I went to a drug store to buy condomsThe first time I went to a drug store to buy condoms, I was waited on by a beautiful young woman. She asked what size I wanted and I said I wasn’t sure. So she asked now big I was and I said, «Compared to what?» She held up one finger and asked if I ... Читать далее...
11. A bar nameA guy walks into a store and says to the managaer «why doesn’t your store have a name», the store manager says «I haven’t thought of one yet but I think u can help me, what’s your girlfriend’s name.» The guy says «Jenny» then the store owner says «What’s do you like most about Jenny» ... Читать далее...
12. Partial DosageAn elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacist for Viagra. The pharmacist said «That’s no problem. How many do you want?» The man answered, «Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.» The pharmacist said, «That won’t do you any good.» The elderly gentleman said, «That’s ... Читать далее...
13. A drummer, tired of being ridiculed by his peersA drummer, tired of being ridiculed by his peers, decides to learn how to play some «real» musical instruments. He goes to a music store, walks in, approaches the store clerk, and says «I’ll take that red trumpet over there and that accordion.» The store clerk looks at him a bit funny, and replies «OK, ... Читать далее...
14. Перевод слова washWash — мыть, умываться, стирать; мытье, стирка Перевод слова To give a wash — вымыть, помыть to send to the wash — отдать в стирку to wash the shores — омывать берега You Wash and I’ll dry. Ты моешь посуду, а я буду вытирать. Warranted to Wash. При стирке не линяет. His hair needs a ... Читать далее...
15. A man walks into a pharmacy, buys a condomA man walks into a pharmacy, buys a condom, then walks out of the store laughing hysterically. The pharmacist thinks this is weird, but, hey, there’s no law preventing weird people from buying condoms. Maybe it’s a good thing. The next day, the man comes back to the store, purchases another condom, and once again ... Читать далее...
16. What is your nameWalking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, «Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry.» «Hans Olaffsen?», he muses. «How in hell does that fit in here?» So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind ... Читать далее...
17. A customer walks into a pharmacyA customer walks into a pharmacy and asks assistant for an anal deodorant. The assistant explains that they don’t stock them. The man insists that he bought his last one from this store. The assistant passes man on to the pharmacist, who explains that store has never stocked such an item. The man explains he ... Читать далее...
18. By definitionA young Army 1st Lt. is in the bathroom (head) releaving himself at the urinal, when a young boy walks in. The boy, seeing the young Lt.’s green uniform asks him if he was in the Army. The Lt. smiles and say’s, «Why yes I am…you wanna wear my hat?» The boy nods and the ... Читать далее...
19. Значение идиомы close up shop[close up shop] {v. phr.} 1. To shut a store at the end of a day’s business, also, to end a business. The grocer closes up shop at 5 o’clock. After 15 years in business at the same spot, the garage closed up shop. 2. {informal} To stop some activity; finish what you are doing. ... Читать далее...
20. Remember a childA young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him. «Pardon me,» she said, «I’m sorry if my ... Читать далее...
21. Policemen in HeavenSt Peter is standing at heaven’s gate when a man walks up. «Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?» «I was a policeman,» he responded. «What kind of policeman?» St Peter asked. «I was a vice officer. I kept dangerous narcotics out of the hands of kids.» «Wonderful my son, ... Читать далее...
22. Several weeks after a young man had been hiredSeveral weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director’s office. «What is the meaning of this?» the director asked. «When you applied for this job, you told us you had five years experience. Now we discovered this is the first job you’ve ever held.» «Well,» the young man ... Читать далее...
23. A guy walks into a pet store wanting a parrotA guy walks into a pet store wanting a parrot. The store clerk shows him two beautiful ones out on the floor. «This one’s $5,000 and the other is $10,000.» the clerk said. «Wow! What does the $5,000 one do?» «This parrot can sing every aria Mozart ever wrote.» «And the other?» said the customer. ... Читать далее...
24. I was shopping at our local supermarketI was shopping at our local supermarket. When I got to the checkout line, there was a beautiful young blonde ahead of me. As she placed her groceries on the checkout stand, the bagger asked her, «Paper or plastic?» «It doesn’t matter,» she replied, «I’m bisacksual.»...
25. Slight confusionOne night a police officer named Mike was working the grave-yard shift and he drove to his house around 3 A. M. in the morning. He opened the door to the bedroom quietly and took off his clothes in the dark, and got in bed with his wife. Then she said,»Honey, can you go over ... Читать далее...
26. Describing Pleasant ScentsKitty: Oh, Smell that. Isn’t that Delectable? Pepe: Yes, it’s Pleasant. Kitty: Pleasant? It’s Heavenly. It has a nice Fruity scent, not too sweet. Pepe: If you say so. I don’t want to buy anything that has a strong Perfume smell. I’m a guy. Kitty: I know, but you want To exude a Sexy scent ... Читать далее...
27. Describing Pleasant ScentsKitty: Oh, Smell that. Isn’t that Delectable? Pepe: Yes, it’s Pleasant. Kitty: Pleasant? It’s Heavenly. It has a nice Fruity scent, not too sweet. Pepe: If you say so. I don’t want to buy anything that has a strong Perfume smell. I’m a guy. Kitty: I know, but you want To exude a Sexy scent ... Читать далее...
28. The crowded storeIt was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale (and some advertising in the local paper) were the main reason for the long line that formed by 8:30, the store’s opening time, in front of the store. A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be ... Читать далее...
29. One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little JohnnyOne Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The young man of seven had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up and stood beside him and gazing up at the plaque he said ... Читать далее...
30. Appropriate punishmentThrough the kitchen window a farmer’s wife sees her son coming home from school. The boy’s in a bad mood, and as he crosses the field he kicks a pig. He walks a little further and kicks a cow. Once inside, his mother says, «I saw what you did, young man! For kicking the pig ... Читать далее...
31. A psychology student at a local universityA psychology student at a local university was sent on a field assignment to evaluate three patients in a local mental hospital. The first patient was locked in his room throwing tennis balls everywhere. The student asked why, and the patient answered «When I get out of here I going to ba a tennis pro.» ... Читать далее...
32. The young playboy took a blind date to an amusement parkThe young playboy took a blind date to an amusement park. They went for a ride on the Ferris wheel. The ride completed, she seemed rather bored. «What would you like to do next?» he asked. «I wanna be weighed,» she said. So the young man took her over to the weight guessed. «One-twelve,» said ... Читать далее...
33. The young playboy took a blind date to anThe young playboy took a blind date to an amusement park. They went for a ride on the Ferris wheel. The ride completed, she seemed rather bored. «What would you like to do next?» he asked. «I wanna be weighed,» she said. So the young man took her over to the weight guesser. «One-twelve,» said ... Читать далее...
34. A blind man walks into a drug store with his seeing eye dogA blind man walks into a drug store with his seeing eye dog. He takes the dogs leash & starts swinging it around & around his head. The druggist says «May I help you?» The blind man replies «No thank you, I’m just looking around.»...
35. Excerpts from the rural lifeA farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The young rooster walks over to the old rooster and says «Ok, old fellow, time to retire.» The old rooster says «You can’t handle all these chickens….look at what it did to me!» The young rooster replies, «Now, ... Читать далее...
36. A lady was in a hardware store looking atA lady was in a hardware store looking at a fishing poles. She asked the store manager how much it was he said ‘I am blind drop it on the ground and i’ll tell ya. She dropped it on the ground.’Aahh that’s 10.00.’ She bent down and let a big fart that everyone heard. But, ... Читать далее...
37. A duck walks into a general storeA duck walks into a general store and asks the manager,»Got any fresh fruit?» «No.» «Got any fresh vegetables?» «No. We have only canned and dry goods.» The next day, the duck returns. «Got any fresh fruit?» «No.» «Got any fresh vegetables?» «No. I told you yesterday, we have only canned and dry goods. If ... Читать далее...
38. Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one dayArnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from the local shoe repair shop. The date stamped on the ticket showed that it was over eleven years old. They both laughed and tried to remember which of them might have forgotten to pick up a pair ... Читать далее...
39. Showering: Men v. WomenHow To Shower Like a Woman Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror — make mental note to do more ... Читать далее...
40. A young lady walks into a doctors officeA young lady walks into a doctors office. «Doctor I’m suffering from a terrible discharge» The Doctor lays her down lifts up her dress and has a good probe around and says «how does that feel?» Young lady, «Oooh doctor that feels lovely….. …but the discharge is from my ear!!»...