Dishonesty at Work

Related topics:

1. A man says to his wife A man says to his wife, “Get ready you, me & the dog are going fishing.” Wife says, “I dont want to go.” Man gives her 3 choices, fishing, blow job or take it up the a*se. Wife pick blow job. After she sucking for a while she says, “It tastes like sh*t. Man says, […]...
2. Asking for Information About a Coworker Amina: What’s the Lowdown on the new guy? Earl: Which new guy? Amina: You know, the cute one. Fill me in. Is he single? Earl: I don’t know. I have no idea. Amina: You’re working with him side-by-side and you haven’t Gleaned any personal information about him? Earl: We talk about work. It’s not my […]...
3. Traditions A man and a woman got married, and he told her : ” since you are my wife you should respect my traditions and habits…and i have 3 traditions. So, first tradition: On wednesdays i play football with my friends…no matter what..whether it snows or it rains…i dont care..i play football!! -Is it clear for […]...
4. A difficult golf game Robert goes golfing every Saturday. One Saturday, he comes home three hours late. His wife asks him, “What took you so long?” The guy says, “That was the worst game of golf I’ve ever had. We got up to the first tee, and Charlie hit a hole-in-one and immediately dropped dead of a heart attack.” […]...
5. Not that my wife is the jealous type or anything, but one day at work Not that my wife’s the jealous type or anything, but one day at work, I had taken this temp who was filling in for my secretary to lunch in gratitude for an outstanding job on a very difficult project. As luck would have it, there was my wife waiting in the office for my return. […]...
6. Psychiatric Hotline If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6. If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call. If […]...
7. Psychiatrist phone Hello. Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6. If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so […]...
8. Limits to Advancement at Work Gloria: Did you hear that Manuel is quitting? He took a job with another company. Sam: I’m not surprised. He came up against the Glass ceiling and he decided To jump ship. Gloria: Really? I didn’t know he was Bucking for promotion. Sam: He’s been trying to become a manager for three years, but other […]...
9. Перевод сленгового выражения work one’s ass off / work one’s tail off / work one’s buns off / work one’s butt off, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: work one’s ass off / work one’s tail off / work one’s buns off / work one’s butt off Сленговое выражение: work one’s ass off / work one’s tail off / work one’s buns off / work one’s butt off груб. Перевод: усердно трудиться, много работать Пример: You’ve been working your ass off […]...
10. Значение идиомы take off [take off] {v. phr.} 1a. To leave fast; depart suddenly; run away. The dog took off after a rabbit. Compare: LIGHT OUT. 1b.{informal} To go away; leave. The six boys got into the car andtook off for the drug store. 2. To leave on a flight, begin going up. A helicopter is able to take […]...
11. Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch about his first visit to a big-city church. “When I got there, they had me park my old truck in the corral,” Joe began. “You mean the parking lot,” interrupted Charlie, a more worldly fellow. “I walked up the trail to the door,” Joe […]...
12. Reasons to stay at work all night 1. Act out your version of a company takeover. 2. Find a way to change everyone’s password to “chrysanthemum”. 3. Around 3:20am, play connect-the-dots with lights still on in other office buildings. Keep going until you see a small woodland creature. 4. Sneaking in the boss’s desk could land you an unexpected promotion. 5. Draw […]...
13. A Product Recall Melissa: This is a Disaster! If we have to Recall 100,000 units, we’ll take a huge Loss this year. Lee: We have no choice. The Product defect poses a Safety hazard. If we don’t act quickly, we’ll have a huge Liability issue On our hands. Melissa: I think we’re Blowing this out of proportion. Only […]...
14. A Management Dispute Jeannie: Have you heard about the new Management dispute? Salih: No, what’s happening? Jeannie: Well, the CEO is having problems with the head of one of the Subsidiaries. Salih: Which one? Jeannie: Lance Publishing. Apparently, the head, Bill Riker, is saying that he and the CEO differ too much in their Business philosophy and they […]...
15. Значение идиомы till the last gun is fired [till the last gun is fired] or [until the last gun is fired] {adv. phr.} Until the end; until everything is finished or decided. Fredalways liked to stay at parties until the last gun was fired. Thecandidate didn’t give up hope of being elected until the last gun wasfired....
16. Time Off from Work My buddy from college, Jack, was getting married and our friend Rob was planning a Bachelor party for him in Vegas. It was going to be the Last weekend of the month and I wanted to go. The trouble was, I was scheduled to work that weekend. I needed to get the Time off from […]...
17. Police Work Isn’t as Dangerous as You May Think After the senseless death and tragic funerals of two young New York City policeman, cops have got to be thinking about assassination. “I want to go home to my wife and kids,” said a cop to the New York Post.” I am concerned about my safety.” On NBC’s Meet the Press,” NYC Police Commissioner William […]...
18. Problems at the Office Lucy: Hey Jeff, can I Pick your brain for a minute? Jeff: Sure, what’s up? Lucy: Well, I have a Sticky situation at work and I wanted to get your Input. You’re always so Tactful. Jeff: Thanks. I’m not sure I can help but I’ll give you my two cents. Lucy: Well, it’s like this. […]...
19. A dubious remedy A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem. In response, the doctor said, “When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself.” That same day the man went to the store […]...
20. Writing a Thank You Note Dear Jake, I wanted to thank you for all of the help you’ve given me over the past several weeks. Being laid up with Pneumonia really Caught me Off-guard, but you went Above and beyond in taking care of me. Before I got sick, we had only known each other as neighbors and only for […]...
21. Перевод слова press Press – нажимать, давить, пресс; пресса Перевод слова Wine press – виноградный пресс to press a lever – нажать на рычаг don’t press him too hard – не дави на него слишком сильно Press the pause button. Нажмите на паузу. Have the Press got a sniff yet? Пресса уже пронюхала? To cut text, Press Control […]...
22. Three envelopes A fellow had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech corporation. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes. “Open these if you run up against a problem you don’t think you can solve,” he said. Well, things went along pretty […]...
23. A man gets home early from work A man gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. “What’s up?” he says. “I’m having a heart attack,” cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone for ambulance, but just as he’s dialing, […]...
24. Charlie was playing with his little brother Mickey Charlie was playing with his little brother Mickey when the little boy asked whether he could fly like Superman. “Sure you can, Mickey,” Charlie said, “Just flap your arms really *really* hard.” So Mickey climbed up on the windowsill, started flapping like mad, jumped, then smashed into the ground six stories below. Horrified, their mother […]...
25. Charlie was in a bar and three babes came up and Charlie was in a bar and three babes came up and started hitting on him. He asked if they wanted to come over to his house later. They agreed to come over at after they went home and got ready. Charlie had a friend who worked in a drugstore, so he went to see him. […]...
26. Work & Career Some people change their jobs every few years. Others say it is better to work for one company for a long period. Almost everybody dreams of having a good job and making a career. Some people prefer sticking to one company for many years, while others, especially young people, are constantly looking for something better. […]...
27. A work of art A tiny but dignified old lady was among a group looking at an art exhibition in a newly opened gallery. Suddenly one contemporary painting caught her eye. “What on earth,” she inquired of the artist standing nearby, “is that?” He smiled condescendingly. “That, my dear lady, is supposed to be a mother and her child.” […]...
28. Saving the situation After attending a party for his boss, the life of the party was nursing a king-size hangover and asked his wife, “What the hell happened?” “As usual, you made an ass of yourself in front of your boss,” replied the wife. “Piss on him,” answered the husband. “You did,” said the wife, “and he fired […]...
29. Taking a Standardized Test Dad: It’s time you start preparing for the MCFL Test. Maria: Dad, that’s 12 months away! I don’t need to start looking at Test prep materials right now. Dad: Yes, you do. Like all High-stakes testing, Familiarity with the types of questions you’ll be asked will help you. You need To score well on it […]...
30. Critiquing Someone’s Work Noriko: Have you had a chance to look over Russ’s project? Walt: Yeah, I took a look at it yesterday. If you have a couple of minutes, I can Give you my two cents. Noriko: Sure. Shoot. Walt: Well, it’s not what I Envisioned when we gave him the Charge to come up with a […]...
31. Значение идиомы take off one’s hands [take off one’s hands] {v. phr.} 1. To abdicate one’sresponsibility of a person or matter. “I am herewith taking my handoff your affairs,” Lou’s father said. “See how you succeed on yourown.” 2. To buy; relieve someone of something. He offered to takemy old car off my hands for $350....
32. Diversity at Work Jeff: What were you and Richard talking about earlier? It looked Intense. Lucy: Yeah, Richard said something to me that I Didn’t Appreciate. Jeff: Oh, no. I know how Insensitive he can be. What has he done now? Lucy: He asked me how long it took me to learn English. Jeff: But, you were born […]...
33. My Work at the Foreign Trade Company В топике Моя работа в иностранной торговой компании я расскажу о своей командировке в Лондон, где я перенимал опыт своих английских коллег по деловому туристическому бизнесу. Я был направлен в Англию своей компанией из Владивостока, на 2 недели. Из топика вы узнаете о распорядке моего рабочего дня, но еще я хочу отметить, что эта поездка […]...
34. Different Work Styles Before I started my new job, I didn’t know that I would be working so closely with another employee of the company. I was used to a lot of Autonomy in my last job, and I have always been Self-directed. I didn’t need Close supervision and the boss never had to worry about me Slacking […]...
35. Learning Work Rules and Routines I was happy to finally get a job, but I wasn’t ready for a first day of work like this one. … Boss: This is your first day and my job is To give you the rundown on how we do things around here. This is a Well-oiled machine. Everybody has To pull his or […]...
36. Suggestions at Work Our company has been growing very quickly and I was Put in charge of Reorganizing our office space to Accommodate several new employees. I asked my co-worker, Petra, for her advice. Fernando: I was thinking of dividing up two of the larger offices into four smaller offices. What do you think about that? Petra: Well, […]...
37. Being Territorial at Work Andy: What are you doing? Sita: I’m Running some numbers for the new project. Andy: I thought that was Delia’s Turf. Sita: She’s usually the Go-to person for this type of information, but I need this info right now. Andy: I’d be careful about Stepping on Delia’s toes. She Doesn’t take kindly to people Encroaching […]...
38. Correcting Misunderstandings at Work I work in our company’s Toledo office and I was meeting with my Counterpart in our Raleigh office. I was trying to explain to her our new proposal to make some changes in the Corporate structure. But, it wasn’t going very well. Rory: So, with the new plan, the managers would Report directly to the […]...
39. Driving a Company Car Michael: Shall we? Robin: Oh, this is nice. Did you get a new car? Michael: No, this is a Company car. Getting to drive one is one of the Perks of my new job. Robin: Does your new position Call for a lot of driving? Michael: It does. As the Regional supervisor, I have To […]...
40. Grooming a Successor Aisha: It’s Only a matter of time before I Retire and Hand over the reins to someone else. Javier: That won’t happen for years. Aisha: It’ll happen sooner than you think. I’ve given a lot of thought to the person I want To fill my shoes. After long Consideration, I think that person should be […]...