Cow joke

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1. Перевод слова jokeJoke — шутка, анекдот Перевод слова In joke — в шутку, шутя standing joke — неистощимый объект для шуток blue joke — пошлая шутка a corny joke — старая шутка, шутка «с бородой» It was only a Joke. Это была всего лишь шутка. The Joke was on him. Это он остался в дураках. She loves ... Читать далее...
2. A visual joke(This joke requires the use a small visual. I’ll describe the visual first, then as I tell the joke I’ll cue you when to use it) Visual: Stretch your arms straight out sideways with hands also stretched wide open. Joke: Why did the blonde want to date Jesus? She heard he was (use visual) HUNG ... Читать далее...
3. President Carter’s jokeIn an interview with David Letterman, Carter passed along an anecdote of a translation problem in Japan. Carter was speaking at a business lunch in Tokyo, where he decided to open his speech with a brief joke. He told the joke, then waited for the translator to announce the Japanese version. Even though the story ... Читать далее...
4. I got a great Polish jokeA guy walks into a bar, orders a beer and says to the bartender, «Hey, I got this great Polish Joke…» The barkeep glares at him and says in a warning tone of voice: «Before you go telling that joke you better know that I’m Polish, both bouncers are Polish and so are most of ... Читать далее...
5. Playing a Practical JokePatricia: What are you doing? Luis: I’m setting up a Practical joke for Bobby. I Can’t wait to see the look on his face when he walks outside and finds his bike In pieces. It’ll be the best Prank ever! Patricia: You’re not really going to take apart his bike, are you? Luis: I’ll Let ... Читать далее...
6. Yet another dorm jokeHere’s one that my roommate and myself did to a residence buddy. One morning (early) we taped together a bunch of sheets of newspaper to cover the victims doorframe. Then taped this big sheet over the doorframe which left a gap of about two or three inches between the sheet and the door. Then we ... Читать далее...
7. Значение идиомы take a joke[take a joke] {v. phr.} Accept in good spirit some derisiondirected at oneself. My brother has a good sense of humor whenteasing others, but he cannot take a joke on himself....
8. Перевод идиомы able to take a joke, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: able to take a joke Перевод: уметь давать другим смеяться и шутить над собой; не обижаться на шутки других Пример: Our boss is not able to take a joke. We must be careful what we say to him. Наш начальник не понимает шуток. Нужно подбирать слова, когда разговариваешь с ним....
9. Перевод идиомы no joke, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: no joke Перевод: серьезное дело Пример: The mistake with the meeting time was no joke. It caused many of us very serious problems. Ошибка со временем проведения собрания была очень серьезной оплошностью. Она причинила много больших неприятностей всем нам....
10. Перевод идиомы inside joke, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: inside joke Перевод: шутка, известная только ограниченному кругу лиц (внутри какой-либо компании, среди друзей, и т. п.) Пример: That must be an inside joke, because it’s not funny at all. Это, должно быть, какая-то местная шутка, потому что мне совсем не смешно....
11. College dorm jokeTwo very hot-headed people lived directly across the halls from each other. Dave got a piece of 1/2″ rope and tied their doors together with about a 6″ gap of slack. Waited until 2:30am and knocked REALLY HARD on both doors. Interesting way to wake up…having two steaming mad football jerks slamming each other’s doors ... Читать далее...
12. Egg jokeIn a similar vein, tell your victim that you have a test of coordination you would like him to try with you. Find a door with a fairly large crack between the door and the wall when the door is open. (You know, over by the hinges; across the width of the door from the ... Читать далее...
13. Three nurses all decided to play a joke on the doctorThree nurses all decided to play a joke on the doctor they worked for. Later in the day, they all got together on break and discussed what they had done to the doctor. The first nurse said, «I put cotton in his stethoscope so he couldn’t hear. The second nurse said, «Well, I did worse ... Читать далее...
14. Gas-tank jokeThis practical joke is hearsay. A fellow student some years ago related the following. Apparently another student was a bit of a braggar. His favourite topic was his car, and one sub-topic was the terrific gas milage (pre-metric) it got. So it began one evening. Fill up a one-gallon container of gas each night and ... Читать далее...
15. Перевод слова directionDirection — направление Перевод слова Opposite direction — противоположное направление right direction — правильное направление from the opposite direction — навстречу He had no Direction in his life. У него не было цели в жизни. Tell me in what Direction to look. Скажи мне, куда смотреть. Ready to take a new Direction. Приготовьтесь взять новое ... Читать далее...
16. Перевод слова roofRoof — крыша Перевод слова Fence roof — навес high-pitched roof — высокая и крутая крыша to install a roof — устраивать крышу A Roof leaks. Крыша течет. He jumped off the Roof. Он спрыгнул с крыши. I burned the Roof of my mouth. Я обожгла себе небо....
17. Фразовый глагол joke around — перевод и значение, пример использованияФразовый глагол: joke around Перевод: дурачиться, шутить или пытаться пошутить Пример: Mike is always joking around at work. Майк всегда шутит на работе....
18. Перевод слова ropeRope — веревка, канат, трос Перевод слова To broom end of wire rope — распустить конец троса rope burns on our wrists — следы от веревки на наших запястьях to ease up on a rope — ослаблять веревку The farmer has Roped off the field to keep the animals out. Фермер огородил поле веревкой, чтобы ... Читать далее...
19. Перевод идиомы crack a joke, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: crack a joke Перевод: рассказать шутку Пример: The man was a lot of fun at the party because he was always cracking jokes. Этот мужчина был очень забавен на вечере, потому что он все время рассказывал шутки....
20. Practical JokeA couple was planning on getting married. Seeing how they didn’t have much money to go on a honeymoon, they decided tojust go back to their new apartment after the wedding. The groom had three close friends, that were prone to committing practical jokes. One being a carpenter, the other a ordinary guy, and the ... Читать далее...
21. Значение идиомы hide or hair[hide or hair] or [hide nor hair] {n. phr.}, {informal} A sign ortrace of someone that is gone or lost; any sign at all of somethingmissing. Usually used in negative or interrogative sentence. Tommyleft the house this morning and I haven’t seen hide or hair of himsince. A button fell off my coat and I ... Читать далее...
22. Значение идиомы rope off[rope off] {v. phr.} To divide into sections by use of a rope. The police roped off the section of the street where the presidentwas expected to jog....
23. Значение идиомы every now and then[every now and then] or [every now and again] or [every so often]or [every once in a while] {adv. phr.} At fairly regular intervals;fairly often; repeatedly. John comes to visit me every now andthen. It was hot work, but every so often Susan would bring ussomething cold to drink. Compare: NOW AND THEN....
24. Значение идиомы give one enough rope and he will hang himself[give one enough rope and he will hang himself] {informal} Give abad person enough time and freedom to do as he pleases, and he maymake a bad mistake or get into trouble and be caught. — A proverb. Johnny is always stealing and hasn’t been caught. But give him enoughrope and he’ll hang himself. — ... Читать далее...
25. Значение идиомы raise the roof[raise the roof] {v. phr.}, {informal} 1. To make a lot of noise;be happy and noisy. The gang raised the roof with their singing. 2. To scold loudly. Mother raised the roof when she saw the dog’smuddy footprints on her new bedspread. Compare: KICK UP A FUSS, RAISECAIN....
26. You might be a redneck if 06You might be a redneck if… Your soap on a rope doubles as an air freshener. Your wife’s hairdo attracts bees. Your baby’s first words are «Attention K-Mart shoppers.» The antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes. Your primary source of income is the pawn shop. You pick your teeth from ... Читать далее...
27. This guy was walking down the sidewalk when he sees a Little JohnnyThis guy was walking down the sidewalk when he sees a Little Johnny wearing a red firefighter’s hat and sitting in a red wagon which is being pulled slowly by a large Labador Retriever. When he got a little closer, he saw that the kid was holding a rope which is tied to the dog’s ... Читать далее...
28. Перевод слова hideHide — прятать(ся), скрывать(ся) Перевод слова Hide yourself! — прячься! she hid her face in her hands — она закрыла лицо руками I have nothing to hide — мне нечего скрывать Muslim women Hide their faces. Мусульманские женщины скрывают свои лица. They Hid me from the police in their attic. Они спрятали меня от полиции ... Читать далее...
29. Outhouse jokeA few years ago some members of the infamous Dartmouth Outing Club pushed an occupied one-seat outhouse off its foundations, onto its door. The victim tried in vain for a few minutes to roll the entire building onto a different side, but soon gave up, as it was too heavy. She then was forced to ... Читать далее...
30. Phone jokeA few months ago I saw a newspaper clipping which told of a newspaper in Illinois (I think…) which ran a story warning consumers that, on such-and — such day, Illinois Bell would be «blowing the dust out of the phone lines» and that all phone owners should cover the earpiece of their phones with ... Читать далее...
31. Phone joke IIOne night when you have a few friends around, take turns calling the same phone number, a really obnoxious acquaintance that won’t recognize your voices is always a good choice. When the person answers, try to leave a message for John Smith (or any name that sounds real). Insist that you have the right number ... Читать далее...
32. Another ethnic jokeA man of Polish ancestry walked up to the counter and asked for a Polish Meatball Sandwich. The man at the counter said, «What a Pollack.» The Polish man said, «I resent that. If a Jew came to your counter and asked for a kosher salami on rye, would you call him a stupid Jew.» ... Читать далее...
33. Ex-Police car jokeWe have various local spots where the teenagers park, cruise, hold drag races, drink beer etc. We happen to own a white 1983 Dodge Diplomat, the exact kind of car used by the State Patrol around here as well as many law enforcement agencies nationwide. (Actually our car WAS a state patrol car, but that’s ... Читать далее...
34. An abstract jokeTwo bananas are lying on a river bank when a turd comes floating by. The turd looks over and says, «Hey! Come on in! The water’s fine!» One banana turns to the other banana and says, «Do you believe that shit?»...
35. College bar jokeWhen I was in college our RA told us of a good one that (supposedly) some friends had pulled a couple of years earlier. These two guys made up a concoction of all kinds of left overs, semi-pureed it in a blender, and filled a hot water bottle with it. One of them took the ... Читать далее...
36. College cafeteria jokeSeven friends once pulled this at my college cafeteria. One put a hot water bottle filled with pea soup down his chest; he sat at the head of a table, with the other six friends sitting along the sides. When the cafeteria was pretty full of people, he made a loud noise (to attract attention), ... Читать далее...
37. And yet another college dorm jokeI have lived in several different houses with a bunch of guys. Needless to say things got pretty rowdy sometimes and many were victims of some pretty funny jokes. One of the favorites as I recall (and still is) is to go into the bathroom while the victim is taking a shower, and pour a ... Читать далее...
38. Значение идиомы laugh up one’s sleeve[laugh up one’s sleeve] or [laugh in one’s sleeve] or [laugh inone’s beard] To be amused but not show it; hide your laughter. Hewas laughing up his sleeve when Joe answered the phone because he knewthe call would he a joke....
39. Значение идиомы end of one’s rope[end of one’s rope] or [end of one’s tether] {n. phr.}, {informal}The end of your trying or imagining; the last of your ability, orideas of how to do more. Frank was out of work and broke, and hewas at the end of his rope. The doctor saw that Mother had reachedthe end of her tether, ... Читать далее...
40. Commiting suicideA blonde and a brunette are living together. The brunette came home from work one day and the blonde had a rope around her waist. The brunette asked why the rope was around her waist. The blonde said that she was trying to commit suicide. The brunette said, «You put it around your neck!» The ... Читать далее...