Business one-liners 02

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1. Business one-liners 01A President of a democracy is a man who is always ready, willing, and able to lay down your life for his country. A backscratcher will always find new itches; a brown-noser will always find new sense. A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work. A bird in the bush usually ... Читать далее...
2. Перевод слова conservativeConservative — консервативный, традиционный Перевод слова Conservative style of dress — консервативный стиль одежды dyed-in-the-wool conservative — отъявленный консерватор conservative estimate — консервативная точка зрения She defected from the Conservative party. Она бежала из консервативной партии. It’s one of the more Conservative denominations. Это одна из наиболее консервативных конфессий. He is the prototype of a ... Читать далее...
3. One liners about foodThe snack bar next door to an atom smasher was called «The Fission Chips.» On April Fools Day, a mother put a fire cracker under the pancakes. She blew her stack. A new chef from India was fired a week after starting the job. He keep favoring curry. A couple of kids tried using pickles ... Читать далее...
4. Перевод слова committeeCommittee — комитет, комиссия Перевод слова Executive committee — исполнительный комитет steering committee — руководящий комитет political committee — политический комитет They formed themselves into a Committee. Они объединились в комитет. The bill has been referred back to Committee. Законопроект был возвращен комиссии. They set up a Committee. Они учредили комитет....
5. Перевод слова coupleCouple — пара, два, двое Перевод слова A couple of apples — два яблока in a couple of days — через два-три дня loving couple — любящая пара «Are they a Couple?»No, they are just good friends.» «Они пара?»Нет, они просто хорошие друзья.» They’re an odd Couple. Они странная парочка. We spent a Couple of ... Читать далее...
6. Значение идиомы make a motion[make a motion] {v. phr.} To propose in some committee meeting orlegislative group that a certain action be taken. The secretarymade a motion that the minutes of the last meeting be accepted....
7. PeanutsSitting at home one night with his wife, a man is casually tossing peanuts into the air and catching them in his mouth. As the couple take in the latest episode of their favorite program, the man loses concentration for a split second, and a peanut goes into his ear. He tries to get it ... Читать далее...
8. Перевод слова conclusionConclusion — вывод, умозаключение Перевод слова In conclusion — в заключение to bring to a conclusion — довести до конца, завершить to draw a conclusion — делать вывод In Conclusion I want to say… в заключение я хочу сказать… They haven’t yet arrived at a Conclusion. Они еще не пришли к выводу. It’s important not ... Читать далее...
9. An inferiority complexPrivate Milton went to psychiatrist and complained: «I have an inferiority complex.» «Nothing I can do for you», said the doc. «In the Army privates don’t have an inferiority complex… they’re just inferior…» — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — ... Читать далее...
10. Перевод слова twelveTwelve — двенадцать Перевод слова Twelve-eight time — двенадцать восьмых twelve parts — двенадцать частей at twelve o’clock — в двенадцать часов I have lunch at Twelve. У меня обед в двенадцать. Twelve is the double of six. Двенадцать в два раза больше шести. At Twelve he was a quiet boy. В двенадцать лет он ... Читать далее...
11. Значение идиомы fight off[fight off] {v. phr.} 1. To struggle against someone so as to freeoneself; push an attacker back. Suzy fought off her two attackersin Central Park with a couple of karate chops. 2. To strive toovercome something negative. After twelve hours at the computerterminal, Jane had to fight off her overwhelming desire to go tosleep....
12. Taking Minutes of a MeetingI was Absent at last month’s meeting, so imagine my surprise when I found out that I had been Elected the committee’s Secretary! As part of my duties, I have To take minutes at each meeting. Taking minutes means I have to pay attention and try my best To transcribe what each person says, or ... Читать далее...
13. Two guys are out hunting deerTwo guys are out hunting deer. The first guy says, «Did you see that?» The second guy says, «No.» «A bald eagle just flew over head.» «Oh.» A couple of minutes later, The first guy says, «Did you see that?» «No.» «There was a black bear walking on that hill over there.» «Oh.» A few ... Читать далее...
14. Taking Chances in BusinessI’ve always been a pretty Cautious investor. I like my investments to be Conservative and I usually invest only in Sure things. Recently, though, I’ve been Tempted to take more Risk. My friend, Bernie, is a very successful Fund manager and he is willing to let me Get in on one of his Schemes. According ... Читать далее...
15. A woman walks into a tattoo parlourA woman walks into a tattoo parlour and asks ‘Do you do custom work?’ ‘Why of course!’ ‘Good. I’d like a portrait of Robert Redford on the inside of my right thigh, and a portrait of Paul Newman on the inside of my left thigh.’ ‘No problem,’ says the artist. ‘Strip from the waist down ... Читать далее...
16. The hamster and the pollar bearThe daughter asks her mother: -My dear mother, please buy for me a hamster! -My daughter you will get tired of it, what will you do with it then? It isn’t a toy, you can’t throw it away! -Then we will buy a cat! The cat will eat a hamster and it will live with ... Читать далее...
17. Asking About Business HoursStore owner: Hello. Karin: Hello, is this Joe’s Shoe Repair? Store owner: Yes, how can I help you? Karin: I’m calling to find out your Business hours. Store owner: We’re open 24/7. Karin: Really? You’re open 24 hours a day, Seven days a week? Store owner: Yes, we are, More often than not. Of course ... Читать далее...
18. Значение идиомы mind one’s own business[mind one’s own business] {v. phr.} To not interfere in the affairsof others. He finally got tired of her criticism and told her tomind her own business....
19. Chem one-liners 01Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds. Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl. — Mike Adams Chemicals: Noxious substances from which modern foods are made. Remember, if you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate! There is the joke about the homeopath who forgot to take his medicine ... Читать далее...
20. The math one linersMath problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x]. If parallel lines meet at infinity — infinity must be a very noisy place with all those lines crashing together! Maths Teacher: Now suppose the number of sheep is x… Student: Yes sir, but what happens if the number of sheep is not x? Zenophobia: the irrational fear of convergent sequences. ... Читать далее...
21. Chem one-liners 02Q: How many physical chemists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but he’ll change it three times, plot a straight line through the data, and then extrapolate to zero concentration. «A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.» Isaac Asimov said that if you want to ... Читать далее...
22. Chem one-liners 04Q: What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry faculties? A: Methylated Spirits! Q: How many atoms in a guacamole? A:Avocado’s number. Q: What do chemists use to make guacomole? A: Avogadros. Free radicals have revolutionized chemistry. These were printed on bumper stickers and given out at an American Chemical Society meeting 10 or 12 years ago: ... Читать далее...
23. Chem one-liners 03Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium and just couldn’t put it down? What’s the formula for water? — H-two-O What’s the formula for an ice cube? — H-two-O-CUBED Q: What do you get when you combine Al Gore with O2? A: Oxymoron The best chemists would ... Читать далее...
24. A couple of geezers were sittingA couple of geezers were sitting on a bench outside the nursing home, having a little chat. «How are you, Tom?» asked Marvin. «I’m not feeling well today — utterly exhausted,» Tom replied. «I pulled a muscle and it’s killing me.» «That pulled muscle shouldn’t make you so tired, though.» «Well, it does if you ... Читать далее...
25. Jon starts working in a lumber campJon starts working in a lumber camp. The boss says, «We work twelve hours a day, we eat two meals a day, lights out at ten-thirty, and you can put your dick in the barrel over there for a blow job any day but Thursday.» Jon says, «Why not Thursday?» The boss says, «Because Thursday ... Читать далее...
26. A woman was thinking about finding a petA woman was thinking about finding a pet to help keep her company at home. She decided she would like to find a beautiful parrot; it wouldn’t be as much work as say a dog, and it would be fun to hear it speak. She went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large ... Читать далее...
27. A cop sees a car weaving all over the road and pulls it overA cop sees a car weaving all over the road and pulls it over. He walks up to the car and sees a nice-looking woman is driving and smells liquor on her breath. He says, «I’m going to have to give you the breathalyzer test to determine if you are under the influence of alcohol.» ... Читать далее...
28. Being Late for an EventEric: Let’s Get a move on or we’ll be late – again! Carmen: Hold your horses. I’m On the verge of being ready. Rome wasn’t built in a day, you know. Eric: A day? I’d Settle for a week. Why is it that every time we have someplace to be you’re always Running late? Carmen: ... Читать далее...
29. The homework scheduleHere is an explanation of the school homework policy for the average student. Students should not spend more than ninety minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner if the student desires to achieve moderate to good grades in his/her classes. 15 minutes looking for assignment. 11 minutes calling a friend ... Читать далее...
30. Перевод слова tiredTired — усталый, утомленный, исчерпанный Перевод слова Tired face — утомленное лицо a tired joke — избитый анекдот tired apple — сморщенное яблоко old, tired dress — старое, изношенное платье She was Tired and sleepy. Она очень устала, и ей очень хотелось спать. I’m Tired. Let’s go home. Я устал. Давайте пойдем домой. I was ... Читать далее...
31. Перевод идиомы none of someone’s business / nobody’s business, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: none of someone’s business / nobody’s business Перевод: дело, которое никого не касается, которое никого не должно волновать Пример: My personal financial situation is none of my friend’s business. Моя ситуация в финансовом плане не должна волновать моего друга....
32. Doctor and engineerA pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. Engineer: What’s with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes! Doctor: I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such ineptitude! Pastor: Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let’s have a word with him. [dramatic ... Читать далее...
33. Chemistry song 05The Twelve Days of Chemistry On the first day of chemistry My teacher gave to me A candle from Chem Study. (second day) two asbestos pads (third day) three little beakers (fourth day) four work sheets (fifth day) five golden moles (sixth day) six flaming test tubes (seventh day) seven unknown samples (eighth day) eight ... Читать далее...
34. One day a housewife was going about the usual businessOne day a housewife was going about the usual business of cleaning the house, when she suddenly felt intensely horny. Unfortunately, her husband was still at work, so she resorted to stripping off all her clothes and started to masturbate. She got very excited, rubbing herself and moaning, and when her husband walked in, she ... Читать далее...
35. Getting Political SupportHelen: Okay, your schedule today is very busy. First, you’re meeting with a group of Constituents concerned about the environment. Then, you’re speaking to a group of factory workers. At noon, you’ll be having lunch with a group of High-power donors. Mikhail: When I Signed on as a candidate, I had no idea I’d have ... Читать далее...
36. A Girl Scout troop leaderA Girl Scout troop leader suddenly came upon a clearing where a young couple was engaged in oral sex. «Back ladies, back!» cried the leader. «There’s a very dangerous beast out there!» But it was too late, as several of her girls had more-or-less seen the deed happening. They asked their leader what it was ... Читать далее...
37. Process-Oriented GodIf God was process oriented, the Book of Genesis might read something like this: In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form and void, so God created a small committee. He carefully balanced the committee vis-a-vis race, gender, ethnic origin, and economic status in order to interface pluralism ... Читать далее...
38. Hiring Business ConsultantsErica: So your suggestion is to hire outside Consultants to handle the extra work associated with the Expansion. Stefan: I think there are a lot of benefits: we get someone with the right Expertise quickly, we can use him or her As needed, and we can save on employment taxes and Benefits. What’s not to ... Читать далее...
39. A fellow decides to take off early from workA fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at 2am, at which time he is extremely drunk. When he enters his house, he doesn’t want to wake anyone, so he takes off his shoes and starts tip-toeing up the stairs. Half-way up the stairs, he ... Читать далее...
40. Going OutA couple was going out for the evening. The last thing they did was to put the cat out. The taxi arrived, and as the couple walked out of the house, the cat shoots back in. So the husband goes back inside to chase it out. The wife, not wanting it known that the house ... Читать далее...