A cop sees a car weaving all over the road and pulls it over

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1. Little Harry walks in the bathroom and sees his mum with Little Harry walks in the bathroom and sees his mum with no clothes on, standing in front of him, he looks up at her private parts he asks “What’s that mum? ” His mum frozen tried to think what to say, finally she came up with the following, “That’s where your dad accidentially hit me […]...
2. This guy is walking through Chinatown and sees a building This guy is walking through Chinatown and sees a building with a sign “Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry.” “Hans Olaffsen?”, he thinks. “How in the world does that fit in here?” So, he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman sitting in the corner. The visitor asks, “How in the world did this place […]...
3. A girl sees three dogs in the park and kneels down to pet them A girl sees three dogs in the park and kneels down to pet them. “What’s your name?” she asks the first. To her surprise, the dog answers “My name’s Huey and I’m having a great day going in and out of puddles.” She goes up to the second dog and asks “What’s your name?” The […]...
4. Three guys go into a bar, one in a wheelchair, one Three guys go into a bar, one in a wheelchair, one is blind and the other appears normal. A couple of minutes later, God walks in to get a beer. He sees the guys and decides to have compassion on them. He touches the blind guy on the forehead, and his sight is restored. He […]...
5. A young girl sees her father in the shower A young girl sees her father in the shower and asks what his testicles are. “Those are the Apples of the Tree of Life,” he tells her, by way of poetic concealment. She tells this to her mother, who replies, “Did he say anything about that dead branch they’re hanging on?”...
6. A man walks into a friend and sees A man walks into a friend and sees that his friend’s car is total loss and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood. He asks his friend, “What’s happened to your car?” “Well,” the friend responses, “I ran into a lawyer”. “OK,” says the man, “that explains the blood… But what about the leaves, […]...
7. Little girl walks into the bathroom A little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her older sister just come out of the shower. The young girl looks at her sisters pussy and asks “What’s that?” Her sister replies “That is my possum, sis!” The young girl replies “Oh, OK” The next day she sees her mother get out of the […]...
8. A trucker who has been out on the road for three weeks A trucker who has been out on the road for three weeks stops into a brothel outside Vegas. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, “I want your ugliest woman and a bologna sandwich!!!” The Madam is astonished. “But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of […]...
9. A man goes to a psychiatrist A man goes to a psychiatrist. To start things off, the psychiatrist suggests they start with a Rorschach Test. He holds up the first picture and asks the man what he sees. “A man and a woman making love in a park,” the man replies. The psychiatrist holds up the second picture and asks the […]...
10. Значение идиомы road test [road test] {n.} 1. A test to see if you can drive a car. Jimtook the road test and got his driver’s license last week. 2. A testto see if a car works all right on the road. Most new cars aregiven road tests before they are put on the market. After herepaired the car, […]...
11. Перевод слова stiff Stiff – жесткий, тугой, напряженный Перевод слова Stiff brush – жесткая щетка stiff smile – застывшая улыбка stiff penalty – строгое, суровое наказание He has a Stiff hand. У него рука онемела. A Stiff whisky for me. Мне виски покрепче. He was scared Stiff. Он оцепенел от страха....
12. Cow on Train Tracks A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. “What’s going on?” she yells out the window. “Cow on the track!” replies the conductor. Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees […]...
13. I am afraid of that tarmac A motorway walks into a pub one day. He goes up to the bar and orders himself a drink. He just sits down when in walks a strip of tarmac. The motorway sees the tarmac and starts to panic so he jumps over the bar and ducks down so it won’t see him. The barman […]...
14. I trust you that you paid A man walks into a bar and has a couple of beers. Once he is donem the bartender tells him he owes $9.00. “But I paid, don’t you remember?” says the customer. “Okay,” says the bartender, “If you said you paid, you did.” The man then goes outside and tells the first person he sees […]...
15. He’s drunk at the bar One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. The man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his […]...
16. Перевод слова balloon Balloon – воздушный шар, аэростат Перевод слова Toy balloon – детский воздушный шар to blow up a balloon – надуть воздушный шар sounding balloon – шар-зонд Blow up a Balloon and tie the end. Надуйте шарик и завяжите его ниткой. A Balloon popped. Воздушный шар лопнул. People first flew in a Balloon in 1783. Первый […]...
17. Stolen Car Stolen Car A man walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him, and approaches, “Can I help you, sir?” “Yesssh! Sssshomebody ssshtole my car!” the man replies. The cop asks, “Where was your car the last time you saw it?” “It […]...
18. Edward walks out of a bar Edward walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches. “Can I help you, fella?”, asks the cop. “Yesssh, ssshombody stol my car!” Edward replies. The cop asks, “Okay, where was your car the last time you saw it?”. “It […]...
19. One night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy bar One night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving-under-the – influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then, sat in the front seat […]...
20. Pappy sees Elmer walking with a lantern and asks Pappy sees Elmer walking with a lantern and asks, “Where ya going boy?” The son smiled and replied, “I’m a-going courting Peggy-Sue.” The Father said, “When I went a-courtin’, I didn’t need me no dang lantern.” “Sure Pa, I know.” the boy said. “And look what you got!”...
21. A little girl goes into the toilet and sees her dad having a shower A little girl goes into the toilet and sees her dad having a shower. It’s at that moment she spots his penis. Pointing at it she says….. “Daddy, daddy, when will I get one of those?” The dad looks at the little girl, looks out the door, looks back at the little girl and winks…. […]...
22. Lost in a balloon Two hobbyists get into their balloon for an excursion. After a while, the wind unexpectedly picks up, and the balloon goes out of control. The two balloonists, with great effort, manage to keep the balloon stable, upright, and away from power lines. But they are lost. With more effort, they get the balloon near the […]...
23. This guy was walking down the sidewalk when he sees a Little Johnny This guy was walking down the sidewalk when he sees a Little Johnny wearing a red firefighter’s hat and sitting in a red wagon which is being pulled slowly by a large Labador Retriever. When he got a little closer, he saw that the kid was holding a rope which is tied to the dog’s […]...
24. You can’t bring that dog in this bar A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says “You can’t bring that dog in here!” The guy, without missing a beat, says “This is my seeing-eye dog.” “Oh man, ” the bartender says, “I’m sorry, here, the first one’s on […]...
25. Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees the Big Bad Wolf crouched down behind a log. “My what big eyes you have, Mr Wolf”, says Little Red Riding Hood. The wolf jumps up and runs away. Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again. This time […]...
26. A guy walks into an elevator and stands next A guy walks into an elevator and stands next to a beautiful woman. After a few minutes he turns to her and says, “Can I smell your pussy?” The woman looks at him in disgust and says, “Certainly not!” “Hmmm,” he replies. “It must be your feet, then.”...
27. A young boy was visiting his grandfather’s farm A young boy was visiting his grandfather’s farm when one day he walks out behind the barn and sees his grandfather playing with himself. The boy says, “What are you doing grandpa, jacking off?” Grandpa replies, “No sonny, just jacking!”...
28. What is your name Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, “Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry.” “Hans Olaffsen?”, he muses. “How in hell does that fit in here?” So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind […]...
29. Excerpts from the rural life A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The young rooster walks over to the old rooster and says “Ok, old fellow, time to retire.” The old rooster says “You can’t handle all these chickens….look at what it did to me!” The young rooster replies, “Now, […]...
30. Значение идиомы come to blows [come to blows] {v. phr.} To begin to fight. The two quarreling boys came to blows after school. The two countries came to blows because one wanted to be independent from the other....
31. Juggler, driving to his next performance Juggler, driving to his next performance, was stopped by the police. ‘What are those knives doing in your car?’ asked the officer. ‘I juggle them in my act.’ Oh yeah?’ says the cop. ‘Let’s see you do it.’ So the juggler starts tossing and juggling the knives. A guy driving by sees this and says, […]...
32. A guy was driving down the road in his Yugo A guy was driving down the road in his Yugo during a thunder storm, when his windshield wiper broke. He drives until he comes to an auto body shop. He goes into the shop, walks up to the counter and says, “Excuse me, but could you give me a windshield wiper for my Yugo?” The […]...
33. Перевод слова alcohol Alcohol – алкоголь, спирт Перевод слова Absolute alcohol – чистый спирт denatured alcohol – денатурат methyl alcohol – метиловый спирт alcohol addict – алкоголик I abstain from Alcohol. Я воздерживаюсь от алкоголя. Alcohol fogs his brain. Алкоголь затуманивает его мозги. His breath stank of Alcohol. От него воняло перегаром. Примеры из жизни Обратите внимание, что […]...
34. Someone really stinks A young couple were on their honeymoon. The husband was sitting in the bathroom on the edge of the bathtub saying to himself, “Now how can I tell my wife that I’ve got really smelly feet and that my socks absolutely stink? I’ve managed to keep it from her while we were dating, but she’s […]...
35. A man is driving down the road for a long period of time A man is driving down the road for a long period of time. During his travel, he sees a priest with a gas can hitch hiking, so he gladly picks him up he says,”Normally father, i dont pick up hitch hikers. You seem like a man of dignity so i thought id make an exception. […]...
36. Newly issued alcohol warnings The Toronto Board of Health has proposed that warning signs be placed on all alcohol bottles to tip off drinkers about the possible peril of drinking a pint or two of any alcoholic beverage. 1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with a breath that could knock a buzzard off a […]...
37. Значение идиомы way the wind blows [way the wind blows] or [how the wind blows] {n. phr.} Thedirection or course something may go; how things are; what may happen. Most senators find put which way the wind blows in their home statebefore voting on bills in Congress....
38. Значение идиомы keep a stiff upper lip [keep a stiff upper lip] {v. phr.} To be brave; face troublebravely. He was very much worried about his sick daughter, but hekept a stiff upper lip. Although he was having some trouble withthe engine, the pilot kept a stiff upper lip and landed the planesafely. Compare: KEEP ONE’S CHIN UP....
39. Значение идиомы trial balloon [trial balloon] {n.} A hint about a plan of action that is givenout to find out what people will say. John mentioned the classpresidency to Bill as a trial balloon to see if Bill might beinterested in running. The editorial was a trial balloon to testthe public’s reaction to a change in the school day....
40. Перевод идиомы under the influence (of something), значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: under the influence (of something) Перевод: под действием чего-либо (алкоголя, наркотиков, и т. п.) Пример: The driver was under the influence of alcohol when he hit the young child. Водитель находился в состоянии алкогольного опьянения, когда сбил ребенка....