At a dentist’s

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1. A dentist is talking to his patient about the sanitary A dentist is talking to his patient about the sanitary problems some of his fellow dentists were facing. He said that one of his friends was touring a latex glove factory in Mexico, and saw how they make the gloves. One person would stick his hand in the melted latex, walk over to a vat […]...
2. Crazy people talk A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient’s room. He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half. Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet. The doctor asked patient number 1 what he was doing. The patient […]...
3. A psychology student at a local university A psychology student at a local university was sent on a field assignment to evaluate three patients in a local mental hospital. The first patient was locked in his room throwing tennis balls everywhere. The student asked why, and the patient answered “When I get out of here I going to ba a tennis pro.” […]...
4. Gosh, what a pun! A man went to his dentist because he feels something wrong in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says, “that new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?” The man replies, “all I can think of is that about four months ago my wife […]...
5. HEGS The Doctor tells his patient that he has H-E-G-S “What’s that?”, the patient asks. “It’s a combination of Herpes, Encephalitis, Gonorrhea and Syphyllis.” The patient wants to know if there’s a cure, to which the Doctor responds, “We have to keep you in a hospital room and feed you nothing but pancackes.” “Why only pancackes?”, […]...
6. Going to the Dentist I went to the dentist to get a Check-up and cleaning. I Showed up at the dentist’s office a few minutes before 10. I gave the receptionist my name and told her that I had a 10 a. m. appointment. She said that the doctor Was running a little latE and that I should take […]...
7. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “У стоматолога (At The Dentist)” По-английски Перевод на русский Dentist: Good morning! Come in, please. Are you Mr. Lancer? Стоматолог: Доброе утро! Входите, пожалуйста. Вы мистер Лансер? Patient: Good morning! Yes, I have an appointment for 10 am. Am I on time? Пациент: Доброе утро! Да, мне назначено на 10 часов утра. Я вовремя? Dentist: Yes, you are. What can […]...
8. Life as a thing Life is so interesting thing…. when i was 3 years i always ask her play game with me. i was so small and also i was sweat. Now i am 13 years old, i really grow up.. at the moment i am studying chinese in China. I have a dream be with my mother very […]...
9. Little Tommy is at the zoo on a school visit Little Tommy is at the zoo on a school visit and he spots a deer. Being a city kid he’s never seen one before and so he asks his teacher, “What’s that, Miss?” Miss decides to play a word game with him and says, “That’s what your Daddy calls Mummy, Tommy.” Tommy thinks for a […]...
10. The good and the bad Patient: I’m in a hospital! Why am I in here? Doctor: You’ve had an accident involving a bus. Patient: What happened? Doctor: Well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first? Patient: Give me the bad news first. Doctor: Your legs were injured so badly that we […]...
11. Значение идиомы play a waiting game [play a waiting game] {v. phr.} To withhold action until one’schances for success improve. Ray would like to be vice president ofthe company so he is playing a waiting game in the hope that thepresident will soon recognize his abilities....
12. The following statements were found on patient charts The following statements were found on patient’s charts during a recent review of medical records. These statements were written by various health care professionals including (we’re afraid) a doctor or two at several major hospitals: “The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.” “Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.” “The skin was moist […]...
13. Перевод слова patient Patient – пациент Перевод слова Refer a patient to a specialist – направить больного к специалисту chronic patient – человек, страдающий хроническим заболеванием acute patient – больной в тяжелом состоянии The Patient made a quick recovery. Пациент быстро выздоравливал. The Patient cannot walk yet. Пациент пока что не может ходить. The Patient was attended by […]...
14. Wife comes home to find the old man Wife comes home to find the old man humping the dog in the front room. “My God Henry”, she screams, “I know you’ve had other woman but this time you’ve gone too far!” “You may be right” he says, “I think I’m stuck.”...
15. Wife comes home to find the old man shagging the dog Wife comes home to find the old man shagging the dog in the front room. “My God Henry”, she screams, “I know you’ve had other woman but this time you’ve gone too far!” “You may be right” he says, “I think I’m stuck.”...
16. Going to the Emergency Room Saturday, 9:35 p. m. I arrive in the Emergency room. I had been at a party earlier in the evening when I accidentally cut my finger. My finger wasn’t Severed, but it did have a very deep cut and I thought I might need Stitches. I check in at the Admissions desk and I’m told […]...
17. Taking Care of Your Teeth Martha: Oh, I have a Toothache! George: It sounds like you’re In for a visit to the Dentist. Martha: That would be the Last resort. I hate going to the dentist. I don’t like needles and the sound of the Drill scares me to death. I’m hoping the toothache will just go away. George: You […]...
18. A man and wife entered a A man and wife entered a dentist’s office. The Wife said, “I want a tooth pulled. I don’t want gas or Novocain because I’m in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.” You’re a brave woman said the dentist. Now, show me which tooth it is. The wife turns to her […]...
19. Punishment for Gates Satan greets him: “Welcome Mr. Gates, we’ve been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You’ve been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you’ve got me in a good mood, I’ll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you’ll be locked […]...
20. A man goes to the doctor with a long history of A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that his poor patient has had practically every therapy known to man for his migraines and STILL no improvement. “Listen,” says the Doctor, “I have migraines, too and the advice I’m going […]...
21. A dyslexic nurse Two doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about Nurse Jenny. “She’s incredibly dumb. She does everything absolutely backwards.” said one doctor. “Just last week, I told her to give a patient 2 milligrams of percocet every 10 hours. She gave him 10 milligrams every 2 hours. He nearly died on us!” The […]...
22. This woman goes into a dentist’s office This woman goes into a dentist’s office, after he is through examining her he says: “I am sorry to tell you this, but I am going to have to drill a tooth.” The woman then says with anticipated agony, “Ooooohhhh, I’d rather have a baby!” To which the dentist replies: “Well make up your mind. […]...
23. Traditions A man and a woman got married, and he told her : ” since you are my wife you should respect my traditions and habits…and i have 3 traditions. So, first tradition: On wednesdays i play football with my friends…no matter what..whether it snows or it rains…i dont care..i play football!! -Is it clear for […]...
24. A woman visits her physician A woman visits her physician. After waiting for a while it’s finally her turn. She enters the doctors’ office and sits down. The PhD asks her: “Well, what can I do for you madam?”. The patient blushes and the PhD sees that apparently she is embarrassed so he says: “You can discuss any matter with […]...
25. After a bad accident Patient: I’m in a hospital! Why am I in here? Doctor: You’ve had an accident involving a train. Patient: What happened? Doctor: Well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first? Patient: Well… The bad news first… Doctor: Your legs were injured so badly that we had […]...
26. Passing an exam Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years. The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking […]...
27. Значение идиомы at one’s service [at one’s service] {adv. phr.} 1. Ready to serve or help you; prepared to obey your wish or command; subject to your orders. He placed himself completely at the President’s service. “Now I am at your service,” the dentist told the next patient. 2. Available for your use; at your disposal. He put a car […]...
28. An elderly patient needed a heart transplant An elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his options with his doctor. The doctor said, “We have 3 possible donors; the 1st is a young, healthy athlete who died in an automobile accident, the 2nd is a middle-aged businessman who never drank or smoked and who died flying his private jet. The 3rd […]...
29. What is the time A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting. Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell if he is late or not. Then, he notices a patient similarly strolling about within the hospital fence. Calling out to the patient, the man says, “Pardon me, sir, but do you […]...
30. Перевод слова miss Miss – потеря, отсутствие, неудача; мисс, девушка Перевод слова Ten hits and one miss – десять попаданий и один промах he is no great miss – никто не жалеет об его отсутствии they voted the record a miss – они посчитали, что эта пластинка не удалась a cup of tea, miss – девушка, чашку чая […]...
31. Donald MacDonald from the Isle of Skye Donald MacDonald from the Isle of Skye (or maybe it was Neil McNell from Barra, but anyway..) went to study at an English university and was living in the hall of residence with all the other students there. After he had been there a month, his mother came to visit him (no doubt carrying reinforcements […]...
32. The dentist was called away from the dinner table to The dentist was called away from the dinner table to take an urgent phone call. It was Mr. Tuckerman, explaining that young Junior had gotten himself into quite a fix. “See, he was kissing his girlfriend, and when my wife and I came back from the movies we found them stuck together.” “I’ll come right […]...
33. A Packer fan was enjoying himself at the game A Packer fan was enjoying himself at the game in a packed Lambeau Field, until he noticed an empty seat down in front. He went down and asked the guy next to it if he knew whose seat it was. The guy said, “Yes, that’s my wife’s seat. We have never missed a game since […]...
34. Some of the most tactful people on Earth are English Some of the most tactful people on Earth are English. One office supervisor called a secretary in to give her the bad news that she was being fired. He started the conversation with: “Miss Symthe, I really don’t know how we’re going to get along without you, but starting Monday, we’re going to try....
35. Значение идиомы at — stage of the game [at — stage of the game] {adv. phr.} At time during an activity; at point. At that stage of the game, our team was doing so poorly that we were ready to give up. It’s hard to know what will happen at this stage of the game. At what stage of the game did the […]...
36. Nauseous sex Patient: Doctor I’m having trouble having sex with my wife. When I get close enough to her, I get nauseous. When I insert, even an inch or two, I get sick to my stomach. Doctor: Hmmmm, that does sound serious. Let me see it. Patient sticks out his tongue…...
37. Redneck wins lottery A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it where the man verifies his ticket number. The Redneck says “I want my $20 million.” To which the man replied, “No, sir. It doesn’t work that way. We give you a million today, and then you’ll get the rest […]...
38. Watching Competitive Sports Bruno: Hey, what are you doing? Give me back that Remote! Tamara: The movie I want to watch is on right now. Do you mind? Bruno: Of course I mind! I’m watching the Playoffs. Can’t you see that? Tamara: The playoffs? Oh, I’ll watch with you. Bruno: You? You don’t know anything about sports. Tamara: […]...
39. Doctor-Patient Confidentiality Dr. Green: Can I Consult you on a case of Medical ethics? Dr. Hause: Sure, I’m not a lawyer, but I can give you my opinion as another doctor. Dr. Green: That’s what I’m looking for, your honest opinion. I have a Patient who has a medical condition that can be Spread to her family, […]...
40. Значение идиомы waiting room [waiting room] {n. phr.} The sitting area in a doctor’s, lawyer’s, accountant’s, etc. office, or in a hospital, or other workplace, wherepeople wait their turn. Some doctor’s offices have elegantlyfurnished waiting rooms with magazines, newspapers, and coffee for thepatients....