The dentist was called away from the dinner table to

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1. At a dentist’s Dentist: “Would you help me out? I’d like you to give a few of your loudest screams.” Patient: “Why, Doc? It isn’t all that bad this time.” Dentist: “Well, there are about 20 people in the waiting room right now, and I don’t want to miss the five o’clock Braves game on Channel 4.”...
2. This woman goes into a dentist’s office This woman goes into a dentist’s office, after he is through examining her he says: “I am sorry to tell you this, but I am going to have to drill a tooth.” The woman then says with anticipated agony, “Ooooohhhh, I’d rather have a baby!” To which the dentist replies: “Well make up your mind. […]...
3. A dentist is talking to his patient about the sanitary A dentist is talking to his patient about the sanitary problems some of his fellow dentists were facing. He said that one of his friends was touring a latex glove factory in Mexico, and saw how they make the gloves. One person would stick his hand in the melted latex, walk over to a vat […]...
4. Going to the Dentist I went to the dentist to get a Check-up and cleaning. I Showed up at the dentist’s office a few minutes before 10. I gave the receptionist my name and told her that I had a 10 a. m. appointment. She said that the doctor Was running a little latE and that I should take […]...
5. A man called the undertaker one afternoon A man called the undertaker one afternoon and sobbed: “Come and bury my wife.” “But I buried your wife ten years ago,” replied the undertaker. “I got married again,” the man sobbed. “Oh,” said the undertaker. “Congratulations.”...
6. I am called a Princess The United Airline’s passenger cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant who seemed to put everyone into a good mood as he served them food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and announced to the passengers, “Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that […]...
7. A man and wife entered a A man and wife entered a dentist’s office. The Wife said, “I want a tooth pulled. I don’t want gas or Novocain because I’m in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.” You’re a brave woman said the dentist. Now, show me which tooth it is. The wife turns to her […]...
8. How is that dentist A couple of old guys were golfing when one said he was going to Dr. Taylor for a new set of dentures in the morning. His friend remarked that he had gone to the same dentist a few years before. “Is that so?” the first said. “Did he do a good job?” “Well, I was […]...
9. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “У стоматолога (At The Dentist)” По-английски Перевод на русский Dentist: Good morning! Come in, please. Are you Mr. Lancer? Стоматолог: Доброе утро! Входите, пожалуйста. Вы мистер Лансер? Patient: Good morning! Yes, I have an appointment for 10 am. Am I on time? Пациент: Доброе утро! Да, мне назначено на 10 часов утра. Я вовремя? Dentist: Yes, you are. What can […]...
10. Перевод слова so-called So-called – так называемый Перевод слова The so-called master race – так называемая высшая раса so-called expert – так называемый эксперт so-called friend – так называемый друг Her So-called honesty partakes of rudeness. Ее так называемая прямота отдает грубостью. It seems that the So-called new theory is likely to sink into oblivion. Похоже, что так […]...
11. Larry’s barn burned down, and Susan, his wife, called Larry’s barn burned down, and Susan, his wife, called the insurance company… Susan: We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money. Agent: Whoa there just a minute, Susan; it doesn’t work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of the old barn and provide you with a new one […]...
12. Traditions A man and a woman got married, and he told her : ” since you are my wife you should respect my traditions and habits…and i have 3 traditions. So, first tradition: On wednesdays i play football with my friends…no matter what..whether it snows or it rains…i dont care..i play football!! -Is it clear for […]...
13. A serious condition A well respected surgeon was relaxing on his sofa one evening just after arriving home from work. As he was tuning into the evening news, the phone rang. The doctor calmly answered it and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line. “We need a fourth for poker,” said […]...
14. A man says to his wife A man says to his wife, “Get ready you, me & the dog are going fishing.” Wife says, “I dont want to go.” Man gives her 3 choices, fishing, blow job or take it up the a*se. Wife pick blow job. After she sucking for a while she says, “It tastes like sh*t. Man says, […]...
15. Gosh, what a pun! A man went to his dentist because he feels something wrong in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says, “that new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?” The man replies, “all I can think of is that about four months ago my wife […]...
16. A dentis appointment Two guys are susposed to meet at 4:30. Charley shows up at 4:30 and waits. Finally, at almost 5:00, Paul shows up and Charley says, “Where have you been? You’re a 1/2 hour late.” Paul replies, “Sorry, I had to go to the dentist. My dick’s been hurting bad.” Charley says, “If your dick’s been […]...
17. Girlfriend Tech Support E-mail I am currently running the latest version of GirlFriend and I’ve been having some problems lately. I’ve been running the same version of DrinkingBuddies 1.0 forever as my primary application, and all the GirlFriend releases I’ve tried have always conflicted with it. I hear that DrinkingBuddies won’t crash if GirlFriend is run in background mode […]...
18. Cooking Dinner I’m not a very good cook but I decided to surprise my wife by making a Three-course meal. I went to the Supermarket to get the dessert, and I Stopped by the Farmer’s market to get some fresh vegetables, my Ingredients for the salad. The meal would start with a salad. I washed the vegetables […]...
19. Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911 Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away. “Where do you live?” asked the operator. Bubba replied, “At the end of Eucalyptus Drive.” The operator asked, “Can you spell that for me?” There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, “How […]...
20. A manager of a restaurant had called its owner A manager of a restaurant had called its owner to ask about whether or not she should hire a new waitress. “She can speak twelve different languages, which will be good for foreign visitors,” said the manager. “All right, so hire her,” the owner replied.”But, sir…” “I knew there would be a but. What’s wrong […]...
21. A girl called the police department and reported that A girl called the police department and reported that she had been assaulted. The officer who answered the phone, asked, “When did this happen?” She replied, “Last week.” The police then asked, “Why did you wait until now to report it?” Well,” she said. “I didn’t know that I was assaulted until the check bounced.”...
22. The boss called one of his employees into the office The boss called one of his employees into the office. “Rob,” he said, “you’ve been with the company for a year. You started off in the post room, one week later you were promoted to a sales position, and one month after that you were promoted to district manager of the sales department. Just four […]...
23. The company president called the chief security guard The company president called the chief security guard into his office. “Chuck, we’ve received a complaint from one of the employees that you are making obscene sexual comments and putting your hands where they don’t belong. These unwanted advances will have to stop.” Chuck looked down at his feet and mumbled, “I’m sorry, Sir. I […]...
24. Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from the local shoe repair shop. The date stamped on the ticket showed that it was over eleven years old. They both laughed and tried to remember which of them might have forgotten to pick up a pair […]...
25. A middle manager is called into his bosses office A middle manager is called into his bosses office on a Monday morning. He is told he has to get rid of one employee in his department by the next Monday. “Downsizing.” He’s really upset. Everyone in his department does a good job and it doesn’t seem fair. So for the next 2 days he […]...
26. A henpecked husband A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself. “You don’t have to let your wife bully you,” he said. “Go home and show her you’re the boss.” The husband decided to take the doctor’s advice. He went home, slammed the door, shook his fist in his wife’s face, and growled, “From now […]...
27. The 75 year old man and his young, knockout wife The 75 year old man and his young, knockout wife were shopping in an upscale jewelry boutique when the man’s oldest friend bumped into him. Eyeing the curvaceous blonde bending over the counter to try on a necklace, the friend asked “How in the hell did YOU land a wife like that?” The old man […]...
28. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “У дантиста, в зубном кабинете” (At the dentist’s) – Hello, Miss Stewart! How are you doing? Is anything wrong with you? – Not so good, doctor. I’m having some problems with my teeth and a bad toothache as well. – Well, nothing unusual for such a sweet tooth like you. OK. Let me check. – Is it so bad, doctor? – You’ve got […]...
29. Taking Care of Your Teeth Martha: Oh, I have a Toothache! George: It sounds like you’re In for a visit to the Dentist. Martha: That would be the Last resort. I hate going to the dentist. I don’t like needles and the sound of the Drill scares me to death. I’m hoping the toothache will just go away. George: You […]...
30. One night, as a couple lay down for bed This joke sucks…. One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says, “I’m sorry honey, I’ve got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.” The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to […]...
31. Значение идиомы get stuck [get stuck] {v. phr.} 1. To be victimized; be cheated. TheSmiths sure got stuck when they bought that secondhand car; it brokedown just two days after they got it. 2. To become entrapped orembroiled in a physical, emotional, or social obstacle so as to beunable to free oneself. Last winter our car got stuck in […]...
32. Fun fun fun worry worry worry A teacher said to her little student Suzy, “Punctuate the following sentence: Fun fun fun worry worry worry.” Little Suzy thought for a moment and began her reply, “Let’s see. Fun period fun period fun no period worry worry worry!!!”...
33. Mysterious picture After a wonderful night of love making, the young guy rolled over and was looking around when he noticed a framed picture of another man on a desk in the distance. Naturally, the guy began to worry. “Is that your husband?” he inquired nervously. “No, silly,” she replied, snuggling up to him. “Your boyfriend then?” […]...
34. Once some boys got together to play poker Once some boys got together to play poker one night, after about 4 hours of playing, Tim had severe chest pains and suddenly slumped over, one of the gamblers who happened to be a doctor, examined him, and to everybodies shock, poor Tim had died of a heart attack. All his friends didn’t know how […]...
35. A hearty breakfast A man goes into a greasy spoon-type cafe and he says, “I would like one of your special full English breakfasts”. “No problem.” Comes the greasy little fat girls reply from behind the counter. “But I want it MY way.” says the man. “What do you mean your way?” comes the reply. The man says, […]...
36. Being Scared Emily: I’m not going into that house. It’s supposed to be Haunted. Stephen: Come on. Don’t be a Coward. You don’t believe in Ghosts, do you? Emily: I don’t, but I’m not Taking any chances. Just look at that house! It’s Spooky. I’m getting Goosebumps just looking at it. Stephen: You’re only Freaking out because […]...
37. The American in Hong Kong The American in Hong Kong was talking to his wife one evening over supper. “Get this…” he chuckled, “That ridiculous janitor of ours claims he’s made love to every woman in the building except one.” “Hmmmmmmmmm,” said his wife, assuming a thoughtful faraway type expression, “must be that stuck-up Mrs. Stewart on the eighth floor.”...
38. The guide to wife translations The wife says: You want The wife means: You want The wife says: We need The wife means: I want The wife says: It’s your decision The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious The wife says: Do what you want The wife means: You’ll pay for this later The wife says: We need […]...
39. Proffessional Acquantance A well respected Doctor and his wife were having drinks in the lobby of the theater during the opening nite of a musical during intermission. A blonde shimmied by that had to have had what there was of her evening gown spray painted on her curvy body. She smiled and gushed, “Well, hello there Doc.” […]...
40. Marriage quotes 10 Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to them. May you be too good for the world and not good enough for your wife. May you grow so rich your widow’s second husband never has to worry about a living, God forbid. May you live happily ever after with a poor, ugly, shrewish […]...