A man and wife entered a

Related topics:

1. A wife comes home unexpectedly one day and finds her husband A wife comes home unexpectedly one day and finds her husband in bed with a lady midget. Upset and furious over his actions, the woman screams, “You promised me two weeks ago that you would never cheat on me again!” Trying his best to calm her down, the husband turns to his wife and says, […]...
2. The wife of an older man is distraught The wife of an older man is distraught because her husband’s um… little sailor can’t salute anymore. She goes to her local doctor and explains the situation and the doctor just feels plain bad for her. The doc thinks for a little bit, turns to the woman and says, “listen, I don’t do this for […]...
3. A husband and wife are on a nudist beach A husband and wife are on a nudist beach when suddenly a wasp buzzes into the wife’s business end. Naturally enough, she panics. The husband is also quite shaken but manages to put a coat on her, pull up his shorts and carries her to the car. Then he makes a mad dash to the […]...
4. A husband and wife were out playing golf A husband and wife were out playing golf. They tee off and one drive goes to the right and one drive goes to the left. The wife finds her ball in a patch of buttercups. She grabs a club and takes a mighty swing at the ball. She hits a beautiful second shot, but in […]...
5. An old retired man goes to his wife one day An old retired man goes to his wife one day, and says to her, “I don’t know how to tell you this dear, but the stock market crashed, and I’m afraid we’re broke.” The wife says, “No, we’re not. Let’s go for a drive into town.” Husband replies, “Our savings are all gone and you […]...
6. A wife begins to get a little worried because A wife begins to get a little worried because her husband has not arrived home on time from his regular Saturday afternoon golf game. As the hours pass she becomes more and more concerned until at 8 p. m. the husband finally pulls into the driveway. “What happened?” says the wife. “You should have been […]...
7. An old man and his wife went to the doctor for a check-up An old man and his wife went to the doctor for a check-up. While the man is with the doctor, the doctor askes him, “So how has life been treating you?” The old man replies,”The Lord’s been good to me. Every night when I go to the bathroom, He turns the light on and when […]...
8. Man and wife at the zoo It’s a beautiful warm spring day and a man and his wife are at the zoo. She’s wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless w/straps. As they walk through the ape exhibit and pass in front of a very large gorilla, the gorilla goes ape. He jumps up on the bars, holding on w/one […]...
9. One night, as a couple lay down for bed This joke sucks…. One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says, “I’m sorry honey, I’ve got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.” The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to […]...
10. All of a sudden, the wife smacks her husband All of a sudden, the wife smacks her husband. The husband was totally dumfounded and asks, “What was that for?” Wife said, “Because, you are a bad fuck”. Couple of minutes later, the husband smacks his wife. This time, the wife was confused and asked, “And may I ask what’s that about?” Husband said, ” […]...
11. A man was taking his wife A man was taking his wife, who was pregnant with twins, to the hospital when his car went out of control and crashed. Upon regaining consciousness, he saw his brother, a relentless world-class practical joker, sitting at his bed side. He asked his brother how his wife was and his brother replied, “Don’t worry, everybody […]...
12. This woman goes into a dentist’s office This woman goes into a dentist’s office, after he is through examining her he says: “I am sorry to tell you this, but I am going to have to drill a tooth.” The woman then says with anticipated agony, “Ooooohhhh, I’d rather have a baby!” To which the dentist replies: “Well make up your mind. […]...
13. A wife, arriving home from a shopping trip, was horrified to A wife, arriving home from a shopping trip, was horrified to find her husband in bed with a lovely young woman. Just as the wife was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words: Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. Driving along […]...
14. The couple was dining out when the wife noticed The couple was dining out when the wife noticed a familiar face at the bar. “Elliot,” she said, pointing “do you see that man downing bourbon at the bar?” The husband looked over and nodded. “Well,” the woman continued, “he’s been drinking like that for 10 years, ever since I jilted him!” The husband returned […]...
15. There was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk There was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk in a bar. Suddenly the drunk stands up and yells, “ATTENTION ALL” and farts loudly. The wife is extremely embarrassed, and the husband looks at the drunk and says” Excuse me, you just farted before my wife.” The drunks replies,” I’m sorry I […]...
16. Harry and his wife are driving in the country Harry and his wife are driving in the country when he sees a sign that says, “Cow For Sale…$5000.” He pulls in and says to the farmer, “There’s no cow in the world worth five thousand dollars.” The farmer says, Oh, yeah? Take a look at this.” He lifts the cow’s tail, and Harry sees […]...
17. A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, “When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?” The husband replied, “All I wanted to do […]...
18. There was a man and woman traveling along in their car There was a man and woman traveling along in their car. The man was driving when a police officer pulls them over. The officer walks up to the window and says “Did you know you were speeding back there.” The lady (who is almost deaf) said to her husband “What did he say, what did […]...
19. A husband and wife were in their back yard A husband and wife were in their back yard, and he was noticing her expanding backside. He commented, “Boy, your ass is getting big. almost as big as the gas grill here.” She angrily stomped across the yard, and he followed saying, “Yep, that thing is getting huge.” At this, the wife retreated to the […]...
20. A man and a woman are sitting next to each other A man and a woman are sitting next to each other at a bar getting drunk. The man turns to the woman and asks her why she’s so down. “My husband just left me. He said I’m too kinky in bed,” she said. “What a coincidence! My wife just left me,” said the man, “she […]...
21. Visiting a lawyer for advice, the wife said Visiting a lawyer for advice, the wife said, “I want you to help me get a divorce. The Lawyer says OK, what are your grounds. My husband is getting a little queer to sleep with.” “What do you mean?” asked the attorney. “Does he force you to indulge in unusual sex practices?” “No,” replied the […]...
22. The guide to wife translations The wife says: You want The wife means: You want The wife says: We need The wife means: I want The wife says: It’s your decision The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious The wife says: Do what you want The wife means: You’ll pay for this later The wife says: We need […]...
23. A wife was berating her husband A wife was berating her husband. He motioned for her to quiet down saying, “Don’t unleash the beast in me.” The wife snickered and replied, “Unlike a lot of women, ‘dear’, I’m not the least bit afraid of a mouse.”...
24. A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in – law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother. The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and […]...
25. Some of the myths about marriage TOP15.Some of the myths about marriage… Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. Their passion is heating up. Then the wife stops and says: “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.” The husband says: “WHAT??” The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional […]...
26. Not that my wife is the jealous type or anything, but one day at work Not that my wife’s the jealous type or anything, but one day at work, I had taken this temp who was filling in for my secretary to lunch in gratitude for an outstanding job on a very difficult project. As luck would have it, there was my wife waiting in the office for my return. […]...
27. Simple Curiosity My wife and I were watching some TV show the other nite where the wife hired a private detective to follow her husband and see if he were in fact “cheating” on her. I asked my wife if she would ever do that. She said, “Well not so much to find out who the other […]...
28. The wife coyly tried to explain her purchase of a new The wife coyly tried to explain her purchase of a new pair of expensive imported panties. “After all, dear,” she said to her husband, “you wouldn’t expect to find fine perfume in a cheap bottle, would you?” “No,” her husband replied. “Nor would I expect to find gift wrapping on a dead beaver.”...
29. An elderly woman entered a large furniture store An elderly woman entered a large furniture store and was greeted by a much younger salesman. “Is there something in particular I can show you?” he asked. “Yes, I want to buy a sexual sofa.” “You mean a sectional sofa,” he suggested. “Sectional schmectional.” she bitterly retorted. “All I want is an occasional piece in […]...
30. A woman goes to a psychiatrist and says A woman goes to a psychiatrist and says, “Doctor, you’ve got to do something about my husband – he thinks he’s a refrigerator!” “I wouldn’t worry too much about it,” the doctor replies. “Lots of people have harmless delusions. It will pass.” “But you don’t understand,” the woman insists. “He sleeps with his mouth open, […]...
31. A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife. He says to the doctor, “Doctor, I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time and always asks me to repeat things.” “Well,” the doctor replied, “go home and tonight stand about 15 feet from her and say […]...
32. Gosh, what a pun! A man went to his dentist because he feels something wrong in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says, “that new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?” The man replies, “all I can think of is that about four months ago my wife […]...
33. A woman entered the hospital to deliver her 15th child A woman entered the hospital to deliver her 15th child. “Congratulations,” said the nurse, “but don’t you think this is enough?” The woman replied, “Are you kidding? This is the only vacation I get each year.”...
34. A new statue for the bedroom A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. “Hurry!” she said, “Stand in the corner.” She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. “Don’t move until I tell you to.” she whispered. “Just pretend you’re a statue.” “What’s […]...
35. What’s the definition of the perfect woman? Ok, I’m going to get a lot of hate mail for this one… What’s the definition of the perfect woman? She’s three feet tall, has a round hole for a mouth, and her head is flat so you can put a can on it. The sports model has pull back ears and her teeth fold […]...
36. A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking sailor were shipwrecked on an island. One morning, the sailor climbed a tall coconut tree and yelled, “Stop making love down there!” “What’s the matter with you?” the husband said when the sailor climbed down. “We weren’t making love.” “Sorry,” said the sailor, “From […]...
37. Wife-taming method Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, “You know, I don’t know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we’ve been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. […]...
38. A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table. As he sat down, he knocked the spoon off the table with his elbow. A nearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a clean spoon, and set it on the table. The diner was impressed, and asked, “Do all the waiters […]...
39. Tooth Fairy Form Letter Dear ____________: Thank you for leaving [01] tooth under your pillow last night. While we make every attempt to leave a monetary reward in the case of lost or stolen children’s teeth, we were unable to process your request for the following reason(s) indicated below: ( ) the tooth could not be found ( ) […]...
40. Перевод слова tooth Tooth – зуб Перевод слова Crowned tooth – зуб с коронкой hole in a tooth – дупло в зубе molar tooth – коренной зуб He cut a Tooth. У него прорезался зуб. Which Tooth aches? Какой зуб вас беспокоит? I had my Tooth out. Мне удалили зуб....