A present for the anniversary

Related topics:

1. Top ten things not to say on your Anniversary 10. I stopped caring about anniversaries when you stopped caring about cooking. 9. Today is our what? 8. Okay, let’s celebrate, but do we have to celebrate together? 7. I thought we only celebrated important events? 6. You can celebrate anniversaries with your next husband. 5. You don’t like what I pick out, so I […]...
2. True love Three men were drinking at a bar – a doctor, an attorney and a biker. As the doctor was drinking his white wine he said, “For her birthday, I’m going to buy my wife a fur coat and a diamond ring. This way, if she doesn’t like the fur coat she will still love me […]...
3. Перевод слова necklace Necklace – ожерелье, колье Перевод слова The necklace won’t clasp – ожерелье не застегивается agate necklace – агатовое ожерелье antitank necklace – кольцевое противотанковое заграждение She lost the amberoid Necklace. Она потеряла ожерелье из искусственного янтаря. The Necklace is of no real worth. Ожерелье на самом деле ничего не стоит. I took a clandestine peek […]...
4. Bad Bernie was in prison for seven years Bad Bernie was in prison for seven years. The day he got out, his wife and son were there to pick him up. He came through the gates and got into the car. The only thing he said was, “F. F.” His wife turned to him and answered, “E. F.” Out on the highway, he […]...
5. A stupid dog While leading the Friday evening services, the Rabbi noticed a member of the congregation, Bernie, walk in with a St. Bernard dog. The Rabbi, horrified, asked the Cantor to continue the service and went to talk to Bernie. Rabbi: “What are doing here with a dog?” Bernie: “The dog came here to pray.” “Oh, come […]...
6. Rabbi’s anniversary present A Jewish congregation in New York honors its Rabbi for 25 years of service by sending him to Hawaii for a week, all expenses paid. When he walks into his hotel room, there’s a beautiful girl, nude, lying on the bed. She says, “Hi, Rabbi, I’m a little something extra that the president of the […]...
7. A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, “When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?” The husband replied, “All I wanted to do […]...
8. A Trip to the Jewelry Store My wife’s birthday was Coming up And I wanted to get her a special Present. She always tells me to not to Splurge on gifts for her but For once, I decided To pull out all the stops. I went to the Jewelry Store and began looking at all of the Display cases. I started […]...
9. A Trip to the Jewelry Store My wife’s birthday was Coming up And I wanted to get her a special Present. She always tells me to not to Splurge on gifts for her but For once, I decided To pull out all the stops. I went to the Jewelry Store and began looking at all of the Display cases. I started […]...
10. Перевод слова aged Aged – пожилой, старый, престарелый Перевод слова Middle-aged man – человек среднего возраста aged population – престарелые a boy aged fifteen – мальчик пятнадцати лет A woman Aged 50 has given birth to twins. Женщина в возрасте 50 лет родила двойню. His hair whitened as he Aged. Его волосы побелели, как он постарел. There is […]...
11. A middle-aged man recieves a brazillian parrot A middle-aged man recieves a brazillian parrot for his birthday. The only problem with this parrot is its attitude due to the influence of its former owner, who is now a deceased truck driver. The parrot loves to swear up and down at everything it sees. One day the man comes home with a gorgeous […]...
12. For their 25th wedding anniversary For their 25th wedding anniversary, a man decides to take his wife on a trip to France. After two weeks touring France, they return to the airport for the trip back to America. While waiting for the plane, the wife turns to her husband and says, “This was the most wonderful gift I could have […]...
13. Star of the South The Star of the South, also known as Estrela do Sul, is a diamond found in Brazil in July 1853. The diamond is cut into a cushion shape and weighs 128.48 carats (25.696 g). The Star of the South is graded as a type IIa diamond, with a colour grading of fancy light pinkish-brown and […]...
14. Перевод слова middle Middle – середина Перевод слова In the middle of – посреди, посередине middle-aged man – человек среднего возраста the middle orders – средние слои общества I’m in the Middle of writing a letter. Я как раз сейчас пишу письмо. He was standing in the Middle of the room. Он стоял посреди комнаты. You must steer […]...
15. An elderly Yuppie boasted to his guests “Look at me.” an elderly Yuppie boasted to his guests at his birthday bash. “I’ve aged like a fine old carefully stored wine.” “I certainly have to agree with that.” piped-up his obviously long suffering wife. “Henry’s cork’s been stationary for years.”...
16. Understanding Drug Labels Bernie: Oh, I’m in so much pain! Where is the Medication we got from the Pharmacy? Gloria: It’s right here, but we need to read the Label first. Okay, these are the Active ingredients and they seem okay. This Warning says that we need To watch out for any Allergic reactions. It also says to […]...
17. Seeking Asylum Julie: The government is Out to get me. I feel like I don’t have any real Freedom and everything I do is being Monitored. Ed: Maybe you should move to another country. Julie: I guess that’s one solution. Ed: Yes, you should Seek asylum in another country. Julie: Become a Refugee? I’m not sure I […]...
18. A guy walks into a post office A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes […]...
19. Sending out many cards A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes […]...
20. Talking to the Professor [A knock on the door.] Jeff: Come in. Julie: Hi, Dr. McQuillan, I’m Julie Taylor. I’m in your 2 o’clock class on Thursdays. Jeff: Hi, Julie. Have a seat. What can I do for you? Julie: I wanted to come see you during your Office hours because I Missed class last week. I had a […]...
21. Not this time There was a middle-aged couple that had two stunningly beautiful teenage daughters. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. After months of trying, the wife finally became pregnant, and sure enough, delivered a healthy baby boy nine months later. The joyful father rushed into the nursery to see his […]...
22. Использование for-since во временах Present Perfect и Present Perfect Continuous (с ответами) 1. Поставьте в следующие словосочетания “for” или “since”. … 9 o’clock… 9 hours… last November… my childhood… 1986 … 10 months… a year… your birthday… ages… a long time… he was a teenager… a couple of days… the whole life… yesterday… the 15th of June… 30 years… I was 30 years old… 20 minutes… last […]...
23. Love thy Neighbor The middle-aged married couple finally moved into the Condo of their dreams, but right next door to a very sexy fashion model. The husband had taken to borrowing this or that from their neighbor and it seemed to the wife that it always took him way too long to return. One time the wife had […]...
24. Taking Chances in Business I’ve always been a pretty Cautious investor. I like my investments to be Conservative and I usually invest only in Sure things. Recently, though, I’ve been Tempted to take more Risk. My friend, Bernie, is a very successful Fund manager and he is willing to let me Get in on one of his Schemes. According […]...
25. Why I Fired My Secretary I woke up early, feeling depressed because it was my birthday, and I thought, “I’m another year older,” but decided to make the best of it. So I showered and shaved, knowing when I went down to breakfast my wife would greet me with a big kiss and say, “Happy birthday, dear.” All smiles, I […]...
26. A buxom blonde wore, at a charity ball, an enormous diamond A buxom blonde wore, at a charity ball, an enormous diamond. “It happens to be the third most famous diamond in the whole world,” she boasted. “The first is the Hope Diamond, then comes the Kohinoor, and then comes this one, which is called Lipshitz.” “What a diamond!” “How lucky you are!” “Wait, wait, nothing […]...
27. On the occasion of their fiftieth wedding anniversary, Billy-Bob On the occasion of their fiftieth wedding anniversary, Billy-Bob decided to forego a big party and treat Linda-Sue to a memorable evening at home. Quietly filling the bathtub with champagne, he called her into the bathroom and they spent a sensual evening soaking in the tub by candlelight. When they were finished, Billy-Bob decided he […]...
28. The 75 year old man and his young, knockout wife The 75 year old man and his young, knockout wife were shopping in an upscale jewelry boutique when the man’s oldest friend bumped into him. Eyeing the curvaceous blonde bending over the counter to try on a necklace, the friend asked “How in the hell did YOU land a wife like that?” The old man […]...
29. Three couples wanted to join a church Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle aged couple and a young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor says, “We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks.” The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. The pastor goes to the […]...
30. Перевод слова divorce Divorce – развод, расторжение брака Перевод слова Divorce by proxy – развод по доверенности to file for divorce – подавать на развод a divorce proceedings – бракоразводный процесс It is difficult to Divorce sport from politics. Трудно отделять спорт от политики. Their marriage ended in Divorce. Их брак закончился разводом. This famous actress has been […]...
31. A couple have not been getting along for years A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, “I’ll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday.” Well, you can imagine her disappointment. The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this time he doesn’t get her anything. She says, “Why didn’t you get me a birthday present!?” […]...
32. Expressing Bitter Feelings Laurent: I’m Done with women! They’re Liars and Manipulators. Julie: Let me guess. You’ve had a bad Breakup? Laurent: It wasn’t just bad. It was Monumentally awful. I’m never going to date again. Julie: You’re just feeling Bitter right now, but you’ll Get over it. You won’t always feel so Jaded. Wait a second. Did […]...
33. My Birthday I was born on the 22nd of March. Birthday is a very remarkable day for me. It is spring and the weather is fine. In the morning my parents come to my room to wake me singing “Happy Birthday, dear Andy”. They give me the presents. I like to get them very much. Most people […]...
34. Following a bitter divorce Following a bitter divorce a husband saw his wife at a party and sneered, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.” The wife simply sighed and replied, “Yes, dear, I know, but I was in love and didn’t really notice.”...
35. Перевод слова celebrate Celebrate – праздновать Перевод слова To celebrate formally – официально отпраздновать to celebrate privately – отпраздновать в узком кругу близких to celebrate solemnly – торжественно отпраздновать Let’s Celebrate, and damn the expense! Давайте кутнем! Денег не жалко! How do you usually Celebrate New Year? Как вы обычно празднуете Новый Год? They gathered together to Celebrate. […]...
36. Three guys were sitting in a bar talking Three guys were sitting in a bar talking. One was a Doctor, one was a Lawyer, and one was a Biker. After a sip of his martini, the doctor said; “You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I got my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedez. I figure that if she doesn’t like the […]...
37. Перевод слова coat Coat – пальто, куртка; покрывать Перевод слова Fur coat – шуба coat and skirt – женский костюм a coat and hat checker – гардеробщик Do up your Coat! Застегни пальто! Take your Coat off. Сними пальто. A layer of snow Coated the trees. Деревья покрылись слоем снега....
38. It’s a sin “I’ve had it with my wife.” said the one drinking buddy to the other. “I’m filing for an divorce.” “Sorry to hear that pal.” said his partner. “May I ask why?” “I found her supply of birth control pills.” said the first. “Listen Frank, with all due respect to your religion, I just can’t see […]...
39. Пословица / поговорка diamond cuts diamond – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: diamond cuts diamond Перевод: один другому не уступит Эквивалент в русском языке: нашла коса на камень Пример: Even though the two friends in fact shared each other’s opinion, they wouldn’t admit it. Diamond cuts diamond. Хотя эти два друга и придерживались одного и того же мнения, они бы ни за что не […]...
40. Упражнения “Сравнение времен Present Simple – Present Continuous” (с ответами) 1. Выберите из скобок глагол в правильной форме. Переведите предложения. He… (works/is working) for a big insurance company. Water always… (boils/is boiling) at 100 degrees. I… (wait/am waiting) for my doctor at the moment. Bob, stop! You… (eat/are eating) too fast. She… (has/is having) four brothers. Switch off the radio, please. You… (don’t listen/aren’t listening) […]...