A judge asked a defendant to please stand

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1. At night court, a man was brought in and setAt night court, a man was brought in and set before the judge. The judge said, «State your name, occupation, and the charge.» The defendant said, «I’m Sparks, I’m an electrician, charged with battery.» The judge winced and said, «Bailiff! Put this man in a dry cell!»...
2. When asked for her occupationWhen asked for her occupation, a woman charged with a traffic violation said she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench. «Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court,» he smiled with delight. «Now sit down at that table and write ‘I will not pass through a red ... Читать далее...
3. Best advice possibleTaylor was desperate for business, and was happy to be appointed by the court to defend an indigent defendant. The judge ordered Taylor, «You are to confer with the defendant in the hallway, and give him the best legal advice you can.» After a time, Taylor re-entered the courtroom alone. When the judge asked where ... Читать далее...
4. A man is giving evidence in court and the defendant’sA man is giving evidence in court and the defendant’s barrister asks him «How far from the accident were you when it happened?» He replied «36 feet, 2 and a quarter inches» «Nonsence how can you be so precise» «Well I knew some bloody fool would ask me so I measured it.»...
5. Stupid people stories 02Stupid people DEADHEADS A man in Orange County Municipal Court had been ticketed for driving alone in the carpool lane. He claimed that the four frozen cadavers in the mortuary van he was driving should be counted. The judged ruled that passengers must be alive to qualify. THIS WOULD BE ME The judge called the ... Читать далее...
6. Don’t arrest the judgeA squad car driver was covering a quiet beat out in the sticks when he was amazed to find a former lieutenant on the police force covering the beat. He stopped the car and asked, «Why, Irish Mike, this wouldn’t be your new beat out here in the sticks, would it?» «That it is, «Irish ... Читать далее...
7. Пословица / поговорка don’t judge a book by its cover / never judge a book by its cover — перевод и значение, пример использованияПословица / поговорка: don’t judge a book by its cover / never judge a book by its cover Перевод: не суди о книге по обложке Эквивалент в русском языке: встречают по одежке, провожают по уму Пример: That professor may seem slow and awkward, but don’t judge a book by its cover. He is one of ... Читать далее...
8. Перевод слова judgeJudge — судья; судить, оценивать, порицать Перевод слова Presiding judge — председательствующий судья to judge whether Smith is right or wrong — судить, прав Смит или неправ I judged him to be about 50 — мне показалось, что ему около пятидесяти judge not, that ye be not judged — не судите, да не судимы будете ... Читать далее...
9. Down in Florida, two widows were talking and one askedDown in Florida, two widows were talking and one asked the other, «Do you ever get to feeling horny?» «Yes,» her friend replied. «What do you do about it?» «I usually suck on a Lifesaver.» After a moment of stunned silence her friend asked, «Well, what beach do you go to?»...
10. A tough case was being argued in courtA tough case was being argued in court. The defense attorney, feeling that he was in trouble, sent the judge a bottle of hundred-year old brandy. The defendant was fit to be tied. «The judge’ll kill me. Trying to bribe him! We’re dead!» «I don’t think so,» his attorney told him. «I sent it in ... Читать далее...
11. Talk to the judgeA judge, bored and frustrated by a lawyer’s tedious arguments, had made numerous rulings to speed the trial along. The attorney had bristled at the judge’s orders, and their tempers grew hot. Finally, frustrated with another repetition of arguments he had heard many times before, the judge pointed to his ear and said, «Counselor, you ... Читать далее...
12. Judge: Is there any reason you could not serveJudge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case? Juror: I don’t want to be away from my job that long. Judge: Can’t they do without you at work? Juror: Yes, but I don’t want them to know it....
13. Humor about Dumb IrishmenThe local District Judge had given the defendant a lecture on the evils of drink. But in view of the fact that this was the first time the man had been drunk and incapable, the case was dismissed on payment of ten shillings costs. «Now don’t let me ever see your face again,» said the ... Читать далее...
14. A fifth grader looked downcast, so her teacher askedA fifth grader looked downcast, so her teacher asked, «What’s the problem, Carol? I hope it’s not homework again.» «Well, uh, yes, it is.» replied Carol. «I was stupid and made my homework paper into a paper airplane.» «Carol, you’re right, that wasn’t a very bright thing to do,» said the teacher, «but this once ... Читать далее...
15. Jokes about Dumb IrishmenThe blind farmer was often taken for a walk in the fields by a kind neighbor. However kindly the neighbor might have been, he was undoubtedly a coward. When a bull charged towards them one day, he abandoned the blind man. The bull, puzzled by a lack of fear, nudged the farmer in the back. ... Читать далее...
16. Baby bear wants to live somewhere elseThe three bears had been having some trouble recently and had ended up in family court. Mama and Papa bear were splitting up, and baby bear had to decide who he was going to live with. So, the judge wanted to talk to baby bear to see what he thought about living with either of ... Читать далее...
17. Three nuns went to a cucumber stand in an open marketThree nuns went to a cucumber stand in an open market one day. They asked how much the cucumbers were. The merchant said that they were 4 for a dollar. The nuns said okay. The puzzled merchant asked why they needed four cucumbers when there were only three of them. A nun answered back, «Well, ... Читать далее...
18. Lawyers on a juryA trial had been scheduled in a small town, but the court clerk had forgotten to call in a jury panel. Rather than adjourning what he thought was an exceptionally simple case, the judge ordered his bailiff to go through the courthouse and round up enough people to form a jury. The bailiff returned with ... Читать далее...
19. Значение идиомы race to stand still[race to stand still] {v. phr.} To be so far behind in one’s workthat one must exert an effort similar to that needed to win a race inorder simply not to fall even further behind. «Could you reviewthis book for us, Professor Brown?» the editor asked. «Unfortunately, no,» the professor answered. «I’m so behind in ... Читать далее...
20. Перевод слова standStand — стоять, вставать; стойка, подставка Перевод слова Coat-and-hat stand — стоячая вешалка umbrella stand — подставка для зонтов to stand on tiptoe — стоять на цыпочках to stand on the fence — занимать выжидательную позицию He made a sudden Stand. Он внезапно остановился She Stood in the doorway. Она стояла в дверях. He is ... Читать далее...
21. Значение идиомы stand the gaff[stand the gaff] {v. phr.}, {informal} To stand rough treatment; dowell in spite of great physical or mental hardship. An athlete mustlearn to stand the gaff. No person running for office gets farunless he can stand the gaff. Compare: HOLD OUT 2, STICK OUT 2....
22. Значение идиомы make a stand[make a stand] {v. phr.} 1. To take a firm position on an issue. He keeps talking about politics hut he never makes a stand for whathe believes in. 2. To take up a defensive position against the enemy. The retreating troops decided to make a stand by the river. Contrast: LAST DITCH, LAST STAND....
23. Значение идиомы stand over[stand over] {v.} 1. To watch closely; keep checking all the time. Ted’s mother had to stand over him to get him to do his homework. 2. To be held over for later action; be postponed; wait. Thecommittee decided to let the proposal stand over until its nextmeeting....
24. Значение идиомы take a bow[take a bow] {v. phr.} To stand up or come on a stage to be clappedfor or praised for success. The audience shouted for the author ofthe play to take a bow. The basketball team should take a bow forfine work this season....
25. Значение идиомы stand for[stand for] {v.} 1. To be a sign of; make you think of; mean. The letters «U. S. A.» stand for «United States of America.» Thewritten sign «=» in an arithmetic problem stands for «equals.» Ourflag stands for our country. The owl stands for wisdom. 2. Tospeak in favor of something, or show that you ... Читать далее...
26. Значение идиомы leg to stand on[leg to stand on] {n. phr.} A firm foundation of facts; facts tosupport your claim. — Usually used in the negative. Jerry’sanswering speech left his opponent without a leg to stand on. Amossued for damages, but did not have a leg to stand on....
27. At a jury trial with the jury consisting of 8 men and 4 womenAt a jury trial with the jury consisting of 8 men and 4 women: Defendant: «Your Honor, I wish to change my plea.» Judge: «Is someone using undue influence to prompt you to change your mind?» Defendant: «No sir, when I pleaded Not Guilty I didn’t know there would be women on the jury. Since ... Читать далее...
28. Значение идиомы stand on one’s own feet[stand on one’s own feet] or [stand on one’s own two feet] {v. phr.} To depend on yourself; do things yourself; earn your own living;be independent. After his father died, John had to stand on his ownfeet and earn his own living. You should learn to stand on yourown two feet....
29. Значение идиомы stand up for[stand up for] or {informal} [stick up for] {v.} To defend againstattack; fight for. John always stands up for his rights. WhenMary was being criticized, Jane stuck up for her. Compare: BACK UP, GO TO BAT FOR, STAND BY, STAND ONE’S GROUND, STICK TO ONE’S GUNS, GOTO BAT FOR....
30. Serving on a JurySamantha: How was your first day on a Jury? Jinho: It was okay. The Judge swore us in and then we listened to the beginning of the Prosecutor’s case. Two Witnesses testified. Samantha: That sounds exciting! I’d love to be on a jury. Why didn’t they Sequester you? That’s what they do on TV. Jinho: ... Читать далее...
31. Значение идиомы stand a chance[stand a chance] or [stand a show] {n. phr.} To have a possibilityor opportunity; be likely to do or get something. Fred doesn’tstand a chance of being elected. We stand a good chance of seeingMary at the party....
32. Диалог на английском языке с переводом «Can’t judge a books by its cover»Pansy Пэнзи Have you heard the news? Ты слышала, что случилось? Letitia Летиша What? Что? Pansy Пэнзи The new guy has been given the sack. Новенького уволили. Letitia Летиша Why? Почему? Pansy Пэнзи Remember some of our documents have been going missing? Well, last night he was caught red-handed stealing them by our security guard. ... Читать далее...
33. The local courtroom was packed as testimony beganThe local courtroom was packed as testimony began in the sentencing hearing of a woman convicted of murdering her husband of 20 years by poisoning his coffee. The defense attorney knew he had his work cut out for him trying to make his client appear more sympathetic to the Judge, especially since she had been ... Читать далее...
34. Значение идиомы hold court[hold court] {v. phr.} 1. To hold a formal meeting of a royal courtor a court of law. Judge Stephens allowed no foolishness when heheld court. 2. {informal} To act like a king or queen among subjects. Even at sixteen, Judy was holding court for numbers of charmedboys....
35. A man was walking in the street when he heard a voiceA man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: «Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.» The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile ... Читать далее...
36. Значение идиомы stand up and be counted[stand up and be counted] {v. phr.} To be willing to say what youthink in public; let people know that you are for or againstsomething. The equal rights movement needs people who are willingto stand up and be counted. If you disagree with the group, youshould be ready to stand up and be counted....
37. For his birthday, Little Johnny asked for a 10 speed bicycleFor his birthday, Little Johnny asked for a 10 speed bicycle. His father said, «Son, we’d love to give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $80,000 and your mother just lost her job. There’s no way we can afford it.» The next day the father saw Little Johnny heading out the front ... Читать далее...
38. One day a man was walking in the woods when he got lostOne day a man was walking in the woods when he got lost. For two days he roamed around trying to find a way out. He had not eaten anything during this period and was famished. Over on a rock ledge he spotted a bald eagle, killed it, and started to eat it. Surprisingly a ... Читать далее...
39. Перевод слова bribeBribe — взятка, подкуп Перевод слова To bribe an official — дать взятку должностному лицу to get a bribe — получить взятку to bribe a judge — подкупить судью We Bribed the children with candy. Мы подкупили детей конфетами. He Bribed one of the guards to smuggle out a note. Он подкупил одного из охранников, ... Читать далее...
40. Значение идиомы hair stand on end[hair stand on end] {informal} The hair of your head rises stifflyupwards as a sign or result of great fright or horror. When heheard the strange cry, his hair stood on end. The sight of thedead man made his hair stand on end. Compare: BLOOD RUN COLD, HEARTIN ONE’S MOUTH, HEART STAND STILL, JUMP OUT ... Читать далее...