A guy driving a Yugo pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce

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1. Rolls Royce vs. YugoA guy driving a Yugo pulled up to a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. He rolled down his window and shouted to the driver of the Rolls. «Hey, buddy, that’s a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I’ve got a phone in my Yugo!» The driver of the Rolls looked over and ... Читать далее...
2. A guy was driving down the road in his YugoA guy was driving down the road in his Yugo during a thunder storm, when his windshield wiper broke. He drives until he comes to an auto body shop. He goes into the shop, walks up to the counter and says, «Excuse me, but could you give me a windshield wiper for my Yugo?» The ... Читать далее...
3. A man walks into a bank and says he wants to borrowA man walks into a bank and says he wants to borrow $200 for six months. The loan officer asks him what kind of collateral he has. The man says ‘I’ve got a Rolls Royce — keep it until the loan is paid off — here are the keys.’ Six months later the man comes ... Читать далее...
4. Two guys are driving through Texas whenTwo guys are driving through Texas when they get pulled over by a state trooper. The trooper walks up, taps on the window with his nightstick, the driver rolls down the window, and the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver says, «Why’d you do that? The trooper says, «You’re in ... Читать далее...
5. Driving While Calling and TextingPamela: [laughs] Did you see this Tweet from Sarah? She’s so funny. Josh: Hold on. I’m Texting Lance. I want to make sure he knows where we’re Meeting up. Pamela: [cell phone rings] Hello. Oh, hi Lance. Did you get Josh’s text? You didn’t? Let me IM you, bye. Josh: I wonder why Lance didn’t ... Читать далее...
6. A policeman was patrolling near midnightA policeman was patrolling near midnight at a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. Inside there was a young man in the driver’s seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat calmly knitting. He ... Читать далее...
7. Перевод идиомы be in the driver’s seat, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: be in the driver’s seat Идиома: be in the driver’s seat Перевод: находиться у руля, держать рычаги власти, иметь контроль над ситуацией Пример: Money and talent will put you in the driver’s seat — in control. Деньги и талант поставят тебя у руля — все будет под контролем....
8. A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and outA policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer. «I can’t do that, officer.» «Why not?» «Because I’m an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube.» «Okay, we’ll just get a ... Читать далее...
9. Перевод слова fridgeFridge — холодильник, рефрежератор Перевод слова Fridge-freezer — холодильник с морозильной камерой fridge compartment — холодильник fridge-freeze — двухкамерный холодильник There is some cheese in the Fridge. В холодильнике есть немного сыра. Chill the dessert in the Fridge for about two hours. Охлаждайте десерт в холодильнике примерно два часа. He cobbled together a meal from ... Читать далее...
10. Значение идиомы in the driver’s seat[in the driver’s seat] {adv. phr.} In control; having the power tomake decisions. Stan is in the driver’s seat now that he has beenmade our supervisor at the factory....
11. Dangerous Freeway DrivingI do a lot of driving in my job. You would think that driving several hours Each way would Get old really fast, but I have ways of making an Interminable drive seem much more exciting. I like to drive fast on the freeways. I usually Pass all of the slower cars by staying in ... Читать далее...
12. Перевод идиомы be in the driving seat, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: be in the driving seat Идиома: be in the driving seat Перевод: находиться у руля, держать рычаги власти, иметь контроль над ситуацией Пример: The consumer is in the driving seat due to the huge range of goods on the market. Потребитель имел весь контроль над ситуацией из-за огромного выбора товаров на рынке....
13. Значение идиомы have nothing on[have nothing on] or [not have anything on] {v. phr.} Not to be anybetter than; to have no advantage over. Susan is a wonderfulathlete, but when it comes to dancing she has nothing on Mary. Even though he is older, John has nothing on Peter in school. Although the Smiths have a Rolls Royce, they ... Читать далее...
14. A guy driving a truck in the middle of nowhereA guy driving a truck in the middle of nowhere picks up a hitch-hiker. It gets dark and the hitch-hiker falls asleep. Suddenly bang, and the hitch-hiker wakes up,»what the hell was that?». The truck driver replies, «some kinda animal, go back to sleep.» Further the same thing again, bang, «What the hell was that?», ... Читать далее...
15. A little old lady gets onto a crowded busA little old lady gets onto a crowded bus and stands in front of a seated young girl. Holding her hand to her chest, she says to the girl, «If you knew what I have, you would give me your seat.» The girl gets up and gives up her the seat to the old lady. ... Читать далее...
16. Значение идиомы backseat driver[backseat driver] {n.}, {informal} A bossy person in a car who always tells the driver what to do. The man who drove the car became angry with the back seat driver....
17. Driving home very drunkIt seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn’t walk a straight line any more than he could drive one, so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given it to the driver before ... Читать далее...
18. Taking the Driving TestCesar: I just took the Driving test. See this? That’s my new License. May: You have to give me the Play-by-play. I’m taking the test next week and I’m Freaking out. Cesar: There’s nothing to worry about. It was easy. May: I’m not worried about the written test. It’s the driving test I’m worried about. ... Читать далее...
19. Judi was bored with driving her BMWJudi was bored with driving her BMW. It laced individuality and besides that, every other girl in the office had one. She fancied something a bit more individual, perhaps an MG convertible. That week she visited her local car dealer and spied a beautiful Jaguar XK140 convertible. It was wonderfully restored and she fell in ... Читать далее...
20. A man is driving down the road and notices a car in the ditchA man is driving down the road and notices a car in the ditch. He doesn’t usually help many people so he drives on by. Then he notices that a pretty woman is the driver so he goes back to help. As he is hooking his truck to her car he says, «You know, you ... Читать далее...
21. Jones is driving past the state mental hospitalJones is driving past the state mental hospital when his left rear tire suffers a flat. While Jones is changing the tire, another car goes by, running over the hub cap in which Jones was keeping the lug nuts. the nuts are all knocked into a nearby storm drain. Jones is at a loss for ... Читать далее...
22. A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped byA juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. «What are these matches and lighter fluid doing in your car?» asks the cop. «I’m a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act.» «Oh yeah?» says the doubtful cop. «Lets see you do it.» The juggler gets out and starts juggling ... Читать далее...
23. A bus filled with politicians was driving through theA bus filled with politicians was driving through the countryside one day, on the campaign trail. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery, loses control and crashes into the ditch. A farmer living nearby hears the horrible crash and rushes out to discover the wreckage. Finding the politicians he buries them. The next ... Читать далее...
24. New family driverMartin had just received his brand new drivers license. The family troops out to the driveway, and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver. «I’ll bet you’re back there to get ... Читать далее...
25. These two guys are car pooling home from work one dayThese two guys are car pooling home from work one day. Traffic is barely crawling along and they are both a bit bored. So the driver is looking around and suddenly he points at two dogs having sex on someone’s front lawn. «Look», he shouts «What are the those dogs doing? are they fighting?» The ... Читать далее...
26. A man is driving down the road for a long period of timeA man is driving down the road for a long period of time. During his travel, he sees a priest with a gas can hitch hiking, so he gladly picks him up he says,»Normally father, i dont pick up hitch hikers. You seem like a man of dignity so i thought id make an exception. ... Читать далее...
27. Elephants IIIHow do you get an elephant into the fridge? 1. Open door. 2. Insert elephant. 3. Close door. How do you get a giraffe into the fridge? 1. Open door. 2. Remove elephant. 3. Insert giraffe. 4. Close door. How do you know there are *two* elephants in your fridge? The door won’t close. How ... Читать далее...
28. BUY YUGO WAR BONDSFor $25 US dollars you can invest in the future of a developing country just out of the clutches of communism. What your $$$ buyz: Russian ammo for one freedom fighter for one month for the ethnic clensing! Their motto: I wanns be like Ike! A little behind the times, BUT! They model themselves after ... Читать далее...
29. Drinking and drivingThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. The «Environmental Engineering News» published some rather sobering information about punishment for drunk driving convictions in other countries. In Australia, the names of drunk drivers are printed in newspapers under the caption, ... Читать далее...
30. The Letter D Pulls OutLETTER D PULLS SPONSORSHIP FROM SESAME STREET Noted Consonant Alienated By Controversial New Gay Muppet NEW YORK—A spokesperson for the letter D announced Monday that the consonant is withdrawing sponsorship from Sesame Street following a Children’s Television Workshop announcement that a homosexual muppet will soon join the show’s cast. «The letter D is proud to ... Читать далее...
31. A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulderA taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, «Look mate, don’t ever ... Читать далее...
32. A cop sees a car weaving all over the road and pulls it overA cop sees a car weaving all over the road and pulls it over. He walks up to the car and sees a nice-looking woman is driving and smells liquor on her breath. He says, «I’m going to have to give you the breathalyzer test to determine if you are under the influence of alcohol.» ... Читать далее...
33. A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks himA policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, «Sir, I couldn’t help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?» The man gets really indignant and says, «Officer, I couldn’t help but notice your eyes are glazed. ... Читать далее...
34. Перевод слова driverDriver — водитель, шофер Перевод слова Co-driver — водитель-напарник drink driver — водитель, управляющий автомобилем в нетрезвом виде learner driver — лицо, обучающееся вождению He’s a rotten Driver. Водитель из него никакой. He is a careful Driver. Он осторожный водитель. He is a pretty awful Driver. Он довольно ужасный водитель. Происхождение слова driver Образовано от ... Читать далее...
35. Woman is on a busA woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said: «That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.» In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and ... Читать далее...
36. An extremely loyal fanThere was a Packers fan with a really crappy seat at Lambeau. Looking with his binoculars, he spotted an empty seat on the 50-yard line. Thinking to himself «what a waste» he made his way down to the empty seat. When he arrived at the seat, he asked the man sitting next to it, «Is ... Читать далее...
37. Taking a Test DriveMario: I’d like To test drive the new Racer. Leah: Sure, all Prospective buyers can take one of our cars for a test drive. May I see your Driver’s license? Mario: Here it is. Leah: Okay, come with me. Why don’t you get into the Driver’s seat and I’ll get into the Passenger seat? All ... Читать далее...
38. Do this while drivingStrange and silly things to do while driving. We do not advise doing any of the below «things to do while driving», as all driving should be taken seriously. The below «things to do while driving» are simply here for entertainment purposes. Vary your vehicle’s speed inversely with the speed limit. Roll down your windows ... Читать далее...
39. Перевод слова coolCool — прохладный, свежий; крутой, классный Перевод слова Cool wind — свежий ветер keep cool! — не горячись!, успокойся! you look real cool in that new dress — ты круто выглядишь в этом новом платье We were in the Cool shadow of the mountain. Мы находились в прохладной тени горы. Cool before drinking. Охладить перед ... Читать далее...
40. Перевод сленгового выражения knocked up, значение и пример использованияСленговое выражение: knocked up Сленговое выражение: knocked up груб. Перевод: забеременеть, «залететь»; быть беременной Пример: She got knocked up by her boyfriend. Она забеременела от своего молодого человека....