BUY YUGO WAR BONDS

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1. Перевод слова ethnic Ethnic – этнический, национальный Перевод слова Ethnic group – этническая группа ethnic minority – национальное меньшинство ethnic origin – национальное происхождение These are all small Ethnic groups, mere specks on the map. Это крошечные этнические группы, сущие точки на карте. Britain is sleepwalking its way to a society of Ethnic enclaves. Британия незаметно для самой […]...
2. Перевод слова model Model – модель, макет, шаблон Перевод слова Working model – действующая модель constructed after model – сконструировано по образцу a sports model – спортивная модель He was a Model of polite restraint. Он был образцом вежливой сдержанности. As a girl she has been a Model pupil. В детстве она была примерной ученицей. This ideal Model […]...
3. The definition of a phallic symbol This girl walks in to a doctors office and she asks “Whats a failic symbol? Doctor says “you’re kidding..” Girl says “no! I don’t know! Whats a failic symbol???” Doctor pulls his pants and underwear down and says “You see? This is a failic symbol!” Girl says “Oh! Its just like a penis, only smaller”...
4. Rolls Royce vs. Yugo A guy driving a Yugo pulled up to a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. He rolled down his window and shouted to the driver of the Rolls. “Hey, buddy, that’s a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I’ve got a phone in my Yugo!” The driver of the Rolls looked over and […]...
5. A guy was driving down the road in his Yugo A guy was driving down the road in his Yugo during a thunder storm, when his windshield wiper broke. He drives until he comes to an auto body shop. He goes into the shop, walks up to the counter and says, “Excuse me, but could you give me a windshield wiper for my Yugo?” The […]...
6. Перевод слова establish Establish – учреждать, устанавливать Перевод слова To establish a state – создать государство to establish a newspaper – основать газету to establish relations – установить отношения The school was Established in 1989 by an Italian professor. Школа была основана в 1989 г. итальянским профессором. The film Established her as a star. Фильм сделал ее звездой. […]...
7. Making Ethnically or Racially Offensive Remarks Mike: Did you hear what Dan said? He called me a Mick. What Decade is he living in? Patti: He’s just Ignorant. I’m sure he wasn’t trying to be Offensive. Mike: Well, I take offense. And To add insult to injury, did you hear what else he said? Patti: What? Mike: He said that he […]...
8. A guy driving a Yugo pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce A guy driving a Yugo pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. The driver of the Yugo rolls down his window and shouts to the driver of the Rolls, “Hey, buddy, that’s a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I’ve got one in my Yugo!” The driver of Rolls looks […]...
9. Elderly romance There’s an elderly man and woman sitting in the sunroom of a retirement home. The old man says to the woman, “For five dollars, I’ll have sex with you on that rocking chair over there. For ten dollars, I’ll have sex with you on that couch. But for twenty dollars, I’ll take you to my […]...
10. Love thy Neighbor The middle-aged married couple finally moved into the Condo of their dreams, but right next door to a very sexy fashion model. The husband had taken to borrowing this or that from their neighbor and it seemed to the wife that it always took him way too long to return. One time the wife had […]...
11. The limousine was taking the beautiful raven-haired model The limousine was taking the beautiful raven-haired model to the airport. Halfway there, the front tire went flat. The model said, “Driver, I don’t have time to wait for road service. Can you change it yourself?” The driver said, “Sure.” He got out of the car and proceeded to change the tire, but couldn’t get […]...
12. The talking dog A man tried to sell his neighbour a new dog. “This is a talking dog,” he said. “And you can have him for five dollars.” The neighbour said, “Who do you think you’re kidding with this talking dog stuff? There ain’t no such animal.” Suddenly the dog looked up with tears in his eyes. “Please […]...
13. Scared sleeping Shakey went to a psychiatrist. “Doc,” he said, “I’ve got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there’s somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there’s somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under. “you gotta help me, I’m going crazy!” “Just put yourself in my hands for two […]...
14. Fortunate ingenuity A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy finds an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, “Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole.” The grandfather replies, “I’ll bet you five dollars you can’t. It’s too wiggly and limp to […]...
15. Значение идиомы come into one’s own [come into one’s own] {v. phr.} To receive the wealth or respect that you should have. John’s grandfather died and left him a million dollars; when John is 21, he will come into his own. With the success of the Model T Ford, the automobile industry came into its own....
16. Robert Burns Robert Burns is the national poet of Scotland. In his poems Burns sang the beauty and the glory of his native land. Burns was born in Alloway, near Ayr, on 25 of January 1759. His father, a small farmer, was a hard-working man. When Robert was 6, he was sent to a school at Alloway […]...
17. What’s the definition of the perfect woman? Ok, I’m going to get a lot of hate mail for this one… What’s the definition of the perfect woman? She’s three feet tall, has a round hole for a mouth, and her head is flat so you can put a can on it. The sports model has pull back ears and her teeth fold […]...
18. Punishment in hell A man dies, and he’s looking in the gates of hell. There he sees John Kennedy with an incredibly ugly girl. The man turns to the Devil and asks why John Kennedy is with this hideous looking person. The Devil replies, “Well, John has done some bad things in his life and that’s his punishment.” […]...
19. Flying in the plane Sue and Bob, a pair of tight wads, lived in the mid west, and had been married years. Bob had always want to go flying. The desire deepen each time a barn stormer flew into town to offer rides. Bob would ask, and Sue would say, “No way, ten dollars is ten dollars.” The years […]...
20. Перевод слова land Land – земля, суша, территория, почва; выгружать Перевод слова Land plants – наземные растения to visit distant lands – побывать в дальних странах stony land – каменистая почва to land troops in France – высадить войска во Франции His Land joins mine. Его земли граничат с моими. He forswore the Land. Он поклялся никогда больше […]...
21. Перевод слова native Native – абориген, уроженец; местный, родной Перевод слова His native town – город, где он родился native industry – местная промышленность a native of Southern France – уроженец юга Франции She spoke not only her Native language, Swedish, but also English and French. Она говорила не только на своем родном языке – шведском, но также […]...
22. Значение идиомы lay of the land [lay of the land] also [how the land lies] {n. phr.} 1. The naturalfeatures of a piece of land, such as hills and valleys. The styleof house the contractor builds depends partly on the lay of the land. 2. The way something is arranged; the important facts about something;how things are. The banker wanted to […]...
23. Family sex TO MY DEAR WIFE, During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days. The followingis a list of why I did not succeed more often: 54 times the sheets were clean 17 times it was too […]...
24. Only once “Miss Jones, we can’t employ you as a model,” the editor from the men’s magazine explained. “It’s too obvious that your blonde hair isn’t natural, since the hair between your legs is black.” The model picked up a paperweight and slammed it down on the editor’s fingers. “What the hell did you do that for!” […]...
25. Change my mind The church was conducting its annual fund drive. One member of the congregation said, “I give ten dollars.” Just then, a piece of plaster fell from the ceiling and landed on his head. He spoke up again quickly. “I give a thousand dollars!” The minister said, “Lord, hit him again!”...
26. A recently divorced woman is walking along the beach A recently divorced woman is walking along the beach contemplating how badly screwed she got over the divorce settlement, when she spies a magic lamp washing up onshore. She rubs the lamp, and out pops a magical genie!! The genie notices her anger and lets her vent her troubles to him. As a consolation, the […]...
27. Two executives working in the garment center are having lunch together Two executives working in the garment center are having lunch together. Goldstein says to his friend, “Last week was one of the worst weeks of my entire life.” “What happened?” asks Birnbaum. Goldstein moans, “My wife and I went to Florida on vacation. It rained for seven days and seven nights, so my wife went […]...
28. Are computers males or females? TOP 5 REASONS WHY COMPUTERS MUST BE MALE Are computers males or females? You decide. TOP 5 REASONS WHY COMPUTERS MUST BE MALE: 5. They’re heavily dependent on external tools and equipment. 4. They periodically cut you off right when you think you’ve established a network connection. 3. They’ll usually do what you ask them to do, but they won’t do more than […]...
29. How to speak Southern WORLD FAMOUS SOUTHERN TALK BECOME A NATIVE SOUTHERNER How to talk native SOUTHERN in one easy lesson Aig – What a hen lays Aints – He’s got aints in his paints Paints – What cha put on your laigs of a mornin Arn – Ma’s tard of arnin Bag – He bagged her to marry […]...
30. Two groups of computer experts were set up in order to Two groups of computer experts were set up in order to find out whether computer is male or female: one group was male, and the other group was female. The group of women reported that computers should be refereed to as “HE” because: 1. In order to get their attention you have to turn them […]...
31. Значение идиомы look like a million dollars [look like a million dollars] {v. phr.}, {informal} To look welland prosperous; appear healthy and happy and lucky; look pretty andattractive. John came back from Florida driving a fine new car, tanned and glowing with health. He looked like a million dollars. Dressed in the new formal and in a new hairdo, Betty looked like […]...
32. Humor relating to Iraq The problem with the Iraqi army is that they were using Russian defense tactics: 1. Engage the enemy. 2. Draw him into your territory. 3. Wait until winter sets in. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – […]...
33. Purchasing new brains A mid-level executive was so frustrated at being passed over for promotion year after year, that, in frustration, he went to a brain-transplant center in the hope of raising his I. Q. 20 points. After a battery of physical and psychological tests, he was told by the center’s director that he was an acceptable candidate. […]...
34. Tesla: Our crash test score is better than perfect The Tesla Motors Model S electric car recently earned the highest possible rating of five stars in government crash tests. But that announcement wasn’t good enough for the image-conscious company and its charismatic founder, Elon Musk. In fact, Tesla said Monday – 11 days after the test results were announced – that the Model S […]...
35. State of Arkansas Residency Application State of Arkansas Residency Application Name: ________________ (_) Billy-Bob (last) (_) Billy-Joe (_) Billy-Ray (_) Billy-Sue (_) Billy-Mae (_) Billy-Jack (Check appropriate box) Age: ____ Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right Occupation: (_) Farmer (_) Mechanic (_) Hair Dresser (_) Un-employed Spouse’s Name: Relationship with spouse: (_) Sister […]...
36. Значение идиомы behind the times [behind the times] {adj. phr.} Using things not in style; still following old ways; old-fashioned. Johnson’s store is behind the times. The science books of 30 years ago are behind the times now. Mary thinks her parents are behind the times because they still do the foxtrot and don’t know any new dances....
37. Native Americans Топик Коренные американцы рассказывает о жизни коренного населения Северной Америки до прихода европейцев и после прибытия первых поселенцев на корабле “Мейфлауэр”. Племена индейцев были миролюбивы, помогали поселенцам, верили во множество богов и устраивали в их честь разнообразные церемонии. В настоящее время коренные американцы стараются сохранить свои традиции и фольклор; чаще всего они проживают на землях […]...
38. Got a second? God, I was wondering…how long is a million years to you?” God answered, “Son, a million years to me is like a second to you.” So the man asks, “God how much is a million dollars to you?” And God answered, “Son a million dollars to me is like one penny to you.” So the […]...
39. The guy considered himself lucky to have been able The guy considered himself lucky to have been able to attract and bed such a luscious looking dish. He was even considering trying to establish a relationship instead of just a one night stand. But he couldn’t help but wonder why she wasn’t already in one. “I can’t help feeling that we’ve met before.” he […]...
40. I bet I can bite both of my eyes A man walks into a bar has a few drinks and asks what his tab was. The bartender replies that it is twenty dollars plus tip. The guy says, “I’ll bet you my tab double or nothing that I can bite my eye.” The bartender accepts the bet, and the guy pulls out his glass […]...