A fifth grader looked downcast, so her teacher asked

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1. One day a teacher was teaching religion One day a teacher was teaching religion, when she asked the class “What part of your body do you think goes up to heaven first?” Two children rose their hand. One was little Johnny. Hesitant to pick on him she chose little Mary. “I think your heart goes first because, that’s were your emotions of […]...
2. One day the teacher decides to play an animal game One day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone knows what it is. No one raises his/her hand. The teacher says “See it’s long neck? What animal has a long neck?” Sally holds up her hand and asks if it is a […]...
3. When the boy started Kindergarten, the teacher When the boy started Kindergarten, the teacher asked all the children to give their first name. When she got to the little boy in the second row, he said: “I’ll give you a hint. First it’s in your hand, then it’s in your mouth, and then it’s in your tummy.” The teacher smiled and said: […]...
4. Defying Orders Carol: Hey, where are you going? Miguel: We can’t sit here doing nothing. Carol: We have Orders to stay here and To keep watch. You know as well as I do what the Consequences are of Defying orders. Miguel: I don’t care what kind of Punishment I get. I can’t Sit still and let things […]...
5. The Teacher tells the class they are going to play a game The Teacher tells the class they are going to play a game, she will describe an object and the students will tell her what she had described. Teacher: “The first object is Red, Round, and has a stem.” Timmy: ” I know what it is, it’s an apple.” Teacher: “That’s right, I like the way […]...
6. Перевод слова teacher Teacher – учитель, преподаватель Перевод слова Teacher edition – издание для учителей; методическое пособие teacher’s college – педагогический институт teacher education – подготовка учителей Experience is a great Teacher. Опыт – великий учитель. As a Teacher he leads. Как учитель он превосходит всех других. She was certified as a Teacher. Она получила диплом учителя. Происхождение […]...
7. Dealing With a Language Barrier Carol: Send another Memo to the Gibberese office. I think we Have our wires crossed again. Art: Don’t you think it would be better to call the office and speak to someone there? You might be able To get to the bottom of the Misunderstanding more quickly. Carol: I don’t speak Gibberish and we don’t […]...
8. A Parent-Teacher Conference Ms. Vasquez: Hello, Mr. Polo. I’m Ms. Vasquez. Please have a seat. Mr. Polo: Thank you. Ms. Vasquez: In this Parent-teacher conference, I want To go beyond Marco’s Report cards and his Standardized test scores to talk about his general performance in the classroom. Mr. Polo: That’s great. I want to know how he’s doing. […]...
9. A young lady asked the Scotsman what he wore under his kilt A young lady asked the Scotsman what he wore under his kilt. “Reach up there and find out.” She did, but quickly pulled her hand back out and said, “Oh, it’s gruesome!” “Aye, it has,” replied the Scotsman, “and if you put your hand back up there, it’ll grow some more!”...
10. A teacher was working with a group of underprivileged children A teacher was working with a group of underprivileged children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory exploration. With their eyes closed, they would feel objects from pumice stones to pine cones and smell aromatic herbs and exotic fruits. Then one day, the teacher brought in a great variety of lifesavers, more flavors than you […]...
11. A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a […]...
12. In the Sex Ed class the teacher says In the Sex Ed class the teacher says, “All right, class, I want you to go home and come back tomorrow with as many positions as you can think of for making sex.” The next day she says to Little Johnny in the back, “Well, John, how many positions did you come up with?” Johnny […]...
13. A first-grade teacher was overseeing her students as A first-grade teacher was overseeing her students as they experimented with their desk computers. One boy sat staring at the screen, unsure how to get the computer going. The teacher walked over and read what was on his screen. In her most reassuring voice, she said, “The computer wants to know what your name is,” […]...
14. An English teacher An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: “woman without her man is nothing”. The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly. The men wrote: “Woman, without her man, is nothing.” The women wrote: “Woman! Without her, man is nothing.”...
15. One day in class the teacher One day in class the teacher has sex education. On the black board she draws a penis then asks the class if any of them knows what it is. In the back of the room, Dirty Johnny stands and says “That’s a penis, and my father has two of them”. The teacher looks surprised and […]...
16. A teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question. St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, “What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They […]...
17. A young female teacher was giving an assignment A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her Grade 6 class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class. She quickly turned and asked, “What’s so funny Pat?” “Well teacher, I just […]...
18. A school teacher injured his back and had to wear A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school. […]...
19. Перевод слова airplane Airplane – самолет, аэроплан Перевод слова Airplane ambulance – санитарный самолет airplane luggage – чемоданы, сумки для авиапутешествий airplane is airborne – самолет находится в воздухе The Airplane landed to refuel. Самолет приземлился для дозаправки. An Airplane droned overhead. Самолет гудел над головой. Происхождение слова airplane Образовано от двух слов:...
20. A closer call The Pilots One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show up so they can get under way. The pilot and co pilot finally appear in the rear of the plane, and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both […]...
21. A judge asked a defendant to please stand A judge asked a defendant to please stand. “You are charged with murdering a school teacher with a chain saw.” From out in the audience a man shouted, “Lying bastard!” “Silence in the court!”, the judge shouted back to the man. He turned to the defendant and said, “You are also charged with killing a […]...
22. My Foreign Language Teacher – Мой учитель иностранного языка (1) When we first come to school, a teacher meets us and says: “I am going to teach you how to write, to read, and to count.” No matter how many teachers we have after that, we remember our first teacher’s name for the rest of our lives. Teachers are with us during all our life. […]...
23. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “Учитель и ученик (Teacher And Student)” По-английски Перевод на русский Teacher: Sit down, Pete. Have you brought your textbooks with you? Учитель: Садись, Пит. Ты принес с собой учебники? Student: Yes, I have, Mrs. Forester. Ученик: Да, миссис Форестер. Teacher: Do you know why I asked you to stay after the classes today? Учитель: Ты знаешь, почему я тебя попросила задержаться […]...
24. An artist asked the gallery owner An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time. “I have good news and bad news,” the owner replied. “The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told […]...
25. Paycheck Deductions Bill: It’s about time! I’ve been waiting for my first Paycheck and now it’s finally here. I’m ready to party this weekend! Whoa! Carol: What’s the matter? Bill: What happened to all my money? The amount of this check is a lot less than I expected it to be. Carol: Yeah, my first paycheck was […]...
26. A teacher was having trouble teaching arithmetic A teacher was having trouble teaching arithmetic to Little Johnny. So she said, “If you reached in your right pocket and found a nickel, and you reached in your left pocket and found another one, what would you have?” “Somebody else’s pants.” said the Little Johnny....
27. When the formal private briefing of the attractive new teacher When the formal private briefing of the attractive new teacher by the vice-principal was finished, the vice-principal took a few puffs on his pipe and said, “I have an informal piece of advice for you, Miss Bell. There’s only one way you can get along in this school without submitting to the sexual advances of […]...
28. Following a High-Profile Court Case Danny: Have you been following the Schirru case? Carol: Yeah, I have. I think he’s Guilty. Danny: You’re kidding, right? He’s Innocent and this is a Show trial. The District attorney is conducting a Witch-hunt for his own Political Ambitions. Carol: No, he’s not. It is a High-profile case, but that’s only because he wants […]...
29. From Us The teacher walks in and finds an apple on her desk with the letters “ILU” written on it. The teacher asks who left it. A little white girl raises her hand. Well sweetie, what does “ILU” mean? The little girl replies, “I love you.” The teacher says, “Isn’t that sweet,” and continues with class. The […]...
30. Моя любимая учительница/ My Favourite Teacher На английском языке Перевод на русский язык My Favourite Teacher Моя любимая учительница School is an important part in every person’s life. I’m sure all students have favourite subjects and teachers. I’d like to tell you a few words about my favourite teacher. Her name is Irina Ivanovna. She was my primary school teacher and […]...
31. Перевод слова bright Bright – яркий, блестящий, ясный; умный Перевод слова Bright day – светлый день bright red – ярко-красный bright reply – блестящий ответ I never wear Bright colours. Я никогда не носил яркие цвета. The lighting was too Bright. Освещение было слишком ярким. He’s a Bright specimen! Он большой оригинал!...
32. The doctor looked at the woman who had come to him The doctor looked at the woman who had come to him for an examination. “Mrs. Brown, I have some good news for you.” The woman said, “I’m glad to hear that doctor, but I’m Miss Brown, not Mrs.” “Oh. Well, in that case Miss Brown,” said the doctor without changing expression, “I have some bad […]...
33. The teacher hears Little Johnny cussing, and The teacher hears Little Johnny cussing, and gets pissed off. She goes bitching to Little Johnny’s father. She comes to Little Johnny’s house and sees Little Johnny fucking a goat in the front yard. She walks in the house and screams to his father “Your son! Your son! He cussed in the school and now….now […]...
34. Selecting a Health Insurance Plan Mikhail: What’s all this? Carol: It’s Open enrollment at my company and I’m thinking of Switching health plans. I have an HMO right now and I’m thinking of switching to a PPO. That way, I can see doctors outside of my current Network and still be covered. Mikhail: I’m so glad I don’t have to […]...
35. The doctor looked benignly at the woman who had come to him The doctor looked benignly at the woman who had come to him for an examination. “Mrs. Brown,” he said, “I have some good news for you.” The woman said, “I’m glad of that doctor, but I’m Miss Brown,” “Miss Brown,” said the doctor without changing expression, “I have bad news for you.”...
36. A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The next day, he called home to his father to tell him the news. “So, did you […]...
37. “Мой любимый учитель” (My favourite teacher) There are a lot of people who influence our life and can be role models for us. They are our parents and relatives and, of course, our teachers. If I had to choose my favourite teacher it would be my Literature teacher, Eduard Alekseevich. He worked in our class during the 10th and 11th grades […]...
38. Значение идиомы in hand [in hand] {adv.} or {adj. phr.} 1. Under control. The principalwas happy to find that the new teacher had her class in hand. Thebaby-sitter kept the children well in hand. Mabel was frightenedwhen the barking dog ran at her, but she soon got herself in hand andwalked on. Contrast: OUT OF HAND. 2. In your […]...
39. My dog ate my homework “Johnny, where’s your homework?” Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand. “My dog ate it,” was his solemn response. “Johnny, I’ve been a teacher for eighteen years. Do you really expect me to believe that?” “It’s true, Miss Martin, I swear,” insisted Johnny. “I had to force him, but […]...
40. IDAHO TEACHER TRIES TO MOVE FORWARD AFTER SEX ED COMPLAINT DIETRICH – Tim McDaniel’s world turned upside down in 2013. The Dietrich science teacher found out four parents filed an ethics complaint against him as a result of a sex education lesson he taught. The Idaho Professional Standards Commission dropped the complaint and didn’t take action. But news of the complaint in Dietrich – a […]...